Odd Ones

 

Generally I don’t like power ballads. To be honest, I don’t know what constitutes a power ballad because different people define them differently. According to a definition I found: 

A power ballad is a slow rock song with a strong, emotional vocal delivery and typically a grandiose production.

Since the 1980’s almost all rock bands I love have produced at least one of these songs. I recently went to an open air tribute band festival where there was a Def Leppard tribute who apologised to the audience for playing two power ballads. I must admit that I used that time to have a comfort break because as much as I love the band, I am not a fan of their power ballads. It’s the same story with other bands too. 

Power ballads are very popular and sometimes the most popular songs by certain bands fall into that category. People who don’t generally like heavy metal or hard rock find power ballads by such bands acceptable because the songs drift more towards their taste. 

A good example of this is a female member of my extended family, who shall remain nameless and hates my music with a passion. She is an elderly lady in her mid 70’s, and she loves boy bands and her favourite artist is Barry Manilow. She claims to be a “Fanilow” and has dragged her poor husband to see him on a couple of occasions. When we visit her, she always makes a point of putting on music by Take That to wind me up (because I despise them). Last Christmas we were in a car with her and just to completely irritate me, she put on “Stay” by East 17 which made me feel like opening the door and taking my chances with the leaping out of the car travelling at 50mph – anything to rid my brain of that dreadful song. 

I think you get the idea – there is no intersection whatsoever in our musical taste. 

Or at least I didn’t think so. A couple of years ago, she declared that she likes a song by “one of those awful bands that you like, Dave”.

I laughed and told her that was impossible, but then she put it on. It was “I Don’t Want to Miss a Thing” by Aerosmith. 

Now I love Aerosmith and have seen them live about three times – but I am not a fan of this power ballad at all and suffice it to say, I returned the wind up by telling her that they did a lot of songs like that. She allowed me to play “Dude Looks Like a Lady” which definitely is not a power ballad. I laughed as she ordered me to turn it off. 

Nevertheless, there are some power ballads that I like. My musical taste is actually pretty eclectic and my motto is that if a song appeals to me in any way I will listen to it whatever genre it is. This is the basis of the now ever-increasing overlap between my taste in music and Mrs PM’s that has created a massive Spotify play list. 

We always thought that our two tastes were mutually exclusive but the Covid pandemic proved both of us wrong. This is why I am going to see one of Mrs PM’s favourite bands, called Massive Attack and the brand new Coop Live indoor arena in Manchester this Thursday evening. It is the biggest indoor arena in the UK and it only opened last year. I haven’t been yet and I can’t believe that my first gig will be one of Mrs PM’s favourite artists.

Here is a song that I like by the band (in case you haven’t heard of them). It’s an ambient electronic song, which is a genre I quite like, and it’s called “Teardrop”:

Now to the point of this post. As I said above, there are a few power ballads that I like so I thought I would share them with you. I generally find power ballads are too mushy, especially those by the likes of Bon Jovi who love to sing about love and give me the urge to find a vomit bag. None of the ones below are about love, but they are beautiful songs. 

I hope you like these odd ones.

The first is a beautiful song called “The Answer Lies Within” by Dream Theater which is about finding courage within yourself and learning from your setbacks to make you stronger.

Next is Devin Townsend singing “Spirits Will Collide” which has the same subject matter as the previous one. 

Next is Riverside with the great title “Lost (Why Should I Be Frightened By a Hat?)” which talks about moving forward having reflected on one’s past. 

Next is Queensrÿche with “Silent Lucidity”, which at first listen seems to be an uplifting song about supporting somebody who has problems but is really a song about controlling people’s dreams. 

Finally, a beautiful song by Steven Wilson called “Deform to Form a Star”. I have no idea what it is about but I do know that it isn’t about love.

I think this goes to prove that I will give some bands a chance (apart from Take That or Barry Manilow of course). 

A Question of Balance

 

There is a saying that I’ve heard a lot of blokes say and it is this:

“Happy wife, happy life”

I think that this saying is a bit biased towards the female side. Basically, to me, it says, if you keep "‘er indoors" happy then you will get a peaceful life. Nevertheless, there has to be balance in this equation and I am all for balance. 

The idea for me is to keep each other happy. If, as a man, you are happy and your significant other is also happy then that is the ideal situation. Life isn’t as simple as that though and this is where compromise comes into that equation.

It helps if you both enjoy the same things but there comes a point when you have to do something that is not your favourite thing to do in order to keep that balance. 

I have a couple of examples of this in action. 

Recently, when were in Lanzarote, Mrs PM who has just started a new job, asked me what I was going to do when we returned. 

“I’ll pop to the cinema to see Captain America: Brave New World” I said. I can do this at any time because I am retired. I don’t mind going to the cinema on my own at all. Mrs PM surprised me and said:

“I’ll come with you if you like. I haven’t been to the cinema for ages.”

I was surprised by this because, although Mrs PM doesn’t mind Marvel films, she usually waits for them to come on the TV rather than going to the cinema. It was only when I checked the cinema listings that something clicked. 

“I see that Bridget Jones: Mad About the Boy” is on as well,” I said.

Basically Mrs PM doesn’t like going to the cinema on her own at all and she really wanted to go and see it. I had seen the previous Bridget Jones movies but generally I hate romantic comedies and I would never actually watch them on TV let alone pay money to see them. 

I sighed and rather than arguing about this I decided, in the name of compromise and balance, to agree to see it with her. 

Last Sunday we went to see Captain America together and she enjoyed it. Yesterday we went to see Bridget Jones and she really enjoyed it. There were not that many blokes in the cinema at all and the ones who were, were in the same situation as I was. I did notice there were quite a few groups of three or four women all giggling and crying as the film progressed.

Did I enjoy them?

Captain America was not the greatest Marvel movie I have seen but I enjoyed it, especially when the Red Hulk appeared. 

Bridget Jones? I’ve seen them all and I have chuckled at some scenes but it was such a girl movie and I had to try to resist using the sick bag on a couple of occasions (using Newton’s Laws to express your love for somebody? Do me a favour!). The highlight for me was seeing Sally Phillips, who I really like.

I won’t see any Bridget Jones filmsa gain but in the interest of balance I have kept my thoughts to myself. The film was okay but definitely not my kind of movie. Mrs PM enjoyed it though and that is all that counts. 

Balance has also branched out to music now. During the pandemic when we were locked down in the house, we had to compromise about music. Basically Mrs PM loves dance music and I love rock, prog and heavy metal. Our tastes are quite different. However, we discovered that we have an overlap and we managed to create a joint Spotify playlist that we play very often. You can read about it here:

The Playlist 

The playlist has grown since then and we have 436 songs at the time of writing. I never thought that would happen.

In the last couple of years we have extended this idea and actually started going to gigs together, which is something I thought we would never ever do. I have been to hundreds of gigs and Mrs PM would have hated them. Nevertheless we both decided to give ourselves a taste of some bands that we wouldn’t normally see. 

And we are doing it again this year. 

In the past couple of years, I have seen Alison Goldfrapp and Sophie Ellis-Bextor (although the latter was supporting the Human League who we both like). 

In return, Mrs PM saw The Stranglers and The Foo Fighters. 

Now I do like the band Goldfrapp, and Alison Goldfrapp as a solo artist did play some of those songs but her newest album is pure dance so it was a little out of my comfort zone. But it was fun. We both loved the Stranglers though and Mrs PM was slightly out of her comfort zone with the Foo Fighters.

This year I have a few gigs planned but Mrs PM is only coming to two of them. 

The first is a real blast from my past and hers: Electric Light Orchestra, one of my favourite bands when I was a child. We both love them.

The second is Nine Inch Nails. I jokingly asked her if she would ever see them and she told me yes. They are definitely my type of band and the only thing she might like about them is their more mellow and electronic side. She likes this song for example. 

But she will have to put up with this:

I’m not too concerned though because there are a lot of different styles in between plus a few more mellow songs they may perform.

It might just challenge the balance and compromise but I like to think that I can cope if she doesn’t. I am a Libran and the scales are the symbol of my star sign. I don’t believe in all of that nonsense but I do believe in balance and I will try to achieve that no matter what. Let’s just hope she doesn’t hate Nine Inch Nails to the point where I have to see somebody dreadful (and believe me – there are many terrible songs in Mrs PM’s collection).

The gig is in June and she has asked me for a Nine Inch Nails Spotify play list that will give her a taste of what to expect.

Wish me luck.

The Music Monkey

I have a new enemy in my war against procrastination – my piano. 

I once read a book that suggests that in order to motivate yourself you should make claims about yourself to motivate you to be the person you claim to be. I think that is nonsense, because by that token I can claim to be a pianist. 

I am not a pianist. What I can say is that I am a very bad pianist who can play very simple tunes but mostly makes silly mistakes that frustrate me to the point where I feel like getting up and walking away forever. 

Nevertheless, in my war against procrastination, I have managed, somehow to find some willpower that I didn’t think I possessed. When I walk upstairs I see the back room and there, taunting me, is my piano and I can see it through the open door. It says to me:

“Come and have a play if you think you’re good enough”.

And to be fair, I have started doing that more often. I am a big fan of routine and habits and this has helped me in my battles with procrastination. One habit I have created is to play the piano daily – and it works. Well – when I say “play the piano daily” what I really mean is “try to play the piano daily” or “play the piano like a blind baboon daily”.

It is working. Slowly but surely, I am actually improving. I can play simple versions of tunes like “Greensleeves”, “O Sole Mio”, “Little Brown Jug”, “The Can-can” and “Scarborough Fair” – sometimes without any mistakes. 

Learning to play the piano was meant to be a retirement hobby but I got so excited by the idea that I started three years before I actually retired. Mrs PM can play a little too (she had some lessons as a child) and she plays fairly regularly too. She is much better than I am. 

And now that I am retired, I can in theory spend more time learning. 

My big plan and goal was to learn the piano and perhaps start creating some music of my own. I consider this to be a project rather than anything more serious. And before I retired I thought at some point I could invest in a synthesiser and perhaps have some fun making mp3’s via my laptop. 

Then two things happened. 

First, I have a friend, an ex-colleague who retired some years ago who told me that he his making music. I was interested and then amazed when he told me that he had published it on Spotify under the name Methyl Orange. I went home and discovered that he had recorded two albums at that point. And now he has a total of four albums. 

Here is one from his latest album:

The second thing that happened was that my company decided to buy me a retirement gift. I opted to leap ahead and I chose this little beast:

I have spent some time in the last three months getting used to it. It is a surprisingly complicated device with a program menu that you can easily get lost in. I also know nothing about the various electronic music terms that are required to use such a device, things like MIDI, “Attack/Decay/Sustain/Release”, Envelopes, Gain, Oscillators – the list goes on. 

But, dear reader, I am getting hooked. And I think I need to sit down and learn the terminology before I can get further anyway. That said, I have had a play with my new gadget and my knowledge is increasing to the point where I have managed to produce some weird musical snippets that actually sound okay (in my view). 

Being a technophile, I now need to wrestle with the geek within who wants to blindly dive into the world of electronic music, and the creative person who wants to learn the piano, I am sensible though and I realise that learning the piano is the mandatory precursor to learning the synthesiser. I can however work in parallel to a certain extent. To be honest, anybody can make a synthesiser tune with little musical knowledge but it is so much better if you have the musical knowledge of how to play the piano. 

You may think that this is where the story ends. It’s not. 

There is a third component that is also important. This is software that runs on your laptop and is called a Digital Audio Workshop (or DAW for short), which enables you to record songs, mix songs and add even more effects. You can do things like play a guitar via your keyboard, the guitar being a “virtual instrument”. This opens up a whole universe of music creativity. Also there is so much to the DAW – it is a complicated tool. 

Here is a demo of a DAW:

I haven’t even begun to scratch the surface yet. I need to improve my piano playing as a priority, I need to learn how to use my synthesiser properly, I need to get to grips with electronic music production, effects etc. and I need to learn about DAW that I have installed. 

I am quite pleased that I have a technical background. I think I’m going to need it. 

Mind you, AI could come to my rescue. I posted about the possibility of becoming a lazy blogger by allowing ChatGPT to write my blog posts for me. You can read about it here:

The Fake Plastic Mancunian 

There are websites out there that will write songs for you that you can use on podcasts, websites etc.

I did try a demo on a website called Soundraw and asked it to write an ambient song. It actually wrote six of them for me. Had I not been a tight-fisted old git and actually put my hand in my pocket I could have paid for the songs and shown them to you. 

You can of course try it yourself for free to see what I mean.

I will post my progress on this blog whether I succeed or not. At the moment I want to try to create something myself rather than trying to be lazy and letting AI do it for me. 

It's quite exciting and a little bit scary because what I thought of as a simple  and this project of my has, in the words of an ex-colleague of mine, “grown arms and legs”. 

How am I going to find time to write, learn languages and create music? 

It’s a tough dilemma to have – but an enjoyable one. 

Songs

Welcome to a cloudy South Manchester with a hint of sunshine and enough heat to require a summer coat to be worn. I am writing this on a day when once again the United Kingdom has gone mad. As I speak, a man in London is sitting in a church waiting for a vicar to place an expensive and very heavy hat on his head.

Yes – today is the coronation of King Charles III, a man who a lot of people in the country expect me to respect and bow my head to if I am ever “fortunate” enough to find myself in his presence. I can’t even call him “Charlie-boy” any more in their eyes (this is what I have called him since I first heard about him all those years ago). 

Apparently I am supposed to refer to him as “His Majesty”.

That will never happen. 

I am doing my best to avoid people who are wetting themselves over today’s pomp and ceremony but I will be travelling to Manchester city centre later and I will almost certainly encounter Royalists who expect me to gush over Charlie-boy. 

I will just smile and ignore them.

Anyway, enough moaning – shall we answer some silly questions from Sunday Stealing and put this madness behind us? 

1. A song with a food name.

Back in 1981, Godley and Creme released an album called “Ismism” and on that album is a funny song about a man who is so fat that the he had to have his jaws wired together to avoid eating food, meaning that he can only eat soup through a straw. The poor man dreams about eating food.

The lyrics are quite amusing. Here is an excerpt:

Armies of food invade my sleep

Led by lasagnas ten inches deep

My head is pounding my heart is beating

Cows are mooing sheep are bleating

I'm being haunted by all the meat I've eaten

The song is called “Snack Attack”:

2  A song with an animal in it

Let’s stay in the 1980’s for this one. One of my favourite pop bands from that era – A-ha with “Cry Wolf”:

3  A song about a bird

Let’s move back a decade to the 1970’s for this one. This is one of my favourite songs by the Swedish megastars that are Abba. I don’t believe in the phrase “guilty pleasure” and as a lover of progressive rock and heavy metal people wouldn’t expect me to like them. They are not a “guilty pleasure” – I was genuinely a fan of the band in the 1970’s and I still am. 

Here is “Eagle”, one of my favourite songs by the band:

4  A song about a dog

Back to the 1980’s. Here is Adam and the Ants with “Dog Eat Dog”:

5  A song mentioning a cat

Staying with the 1980’s, another of my favourite artists, the legendary David Bowie with “Cat People (Putting Out Fire)”:

6  A song listing a character from Wizard of Oz

Believe it or not, Aerosmith use excerpts from the Wizard of Oz right at the start of “The Farm” and also at the end. Listen carefully:

7  A late night driving song

This song is actually about driving through Japan at night (as the first line of the lyrics confirm). It is called “Night” and is by the legendary Devin Townsend:

8  A song from a movie

Rammstein featured in the movie “XXX” starring Vin Diesel, right at the start of the film.

It's called "Feuer Frei" and here it is:

9  A guilty pleasure song

As I said, I don’t believe in “guilty pleasures”. I can imagine how somebody might think that this is a guilty pleasure – it’s not. I love it. 

This is Robyn and “With Every Heartbeat”:

10 A song about friends

A classic from 1979 by Gary Numan-  “Are Friends Electric?”:

11 A song that is about summertime

Joe Satriani – “Summer Song”. The name says it all:

12 A song that needs to be played more on the radio

I’m a huge fan of a band called Riverside from Poland and they deserve more time on the radio. Mind you, I don’t listen to the radio these days.

Here is “Friend or Foe?”:

13 A song about drugs or alcohol

This is Ginger Wildheart with “Drinking in the Daytime”.

14 A song you would sing at karaoke

I’ll do better than that. This is the ONLY song I have ever sung at karaoke and I will never ever sing a song at karaoke again. Deep Purple” – Smoke on the Water:

15 A song from year you were born in

A very silly song called “Right Said Fred” from comedy actor Bernard Cribbins. It’s very British and very very silly - a bit like the state the country is in today.

Heavy Metal Christmas

This will be my last post before Christmas so I thought I would resurrect a stupid idea from many years ago when I started to supply alternative lyrics to famous Christmas songs, ruining them completely. 

The one I have chosen to vandalise this year is the old “Rocking Around the Christmas Tree”. 

Why? Because I spotted it and immediately thought of proper rock music – or more accurately heavy metal.

I apologise to anybody who loves the song, or anyone who loves Brenda Lee. 

Moshin’ around the Christmas tree

With a heavy metal song 

Air guitar playing noisily 

Grandma tells me this is wrong

Moshin’ around the Christmas tree

Turn the volume really loud

Later we’ll have a huge mince pie

And we’ll share it with the crowd

You will get a heavy metal feeling when you hear

Guitar, bass with drums and keyboard

Drink some beer, you’ll never feel bored

Moshing around the Christmas tree

Have a happy Christmas Day

Let’s start head banging merrily 

In a new and noisy way

<GUITAR SOLO>

You will get a heavy metal feeling when you hear

Guitar, bass with drums and keyboard

Drink some beer, you’ll never feel bored

Moshing around the Christmas tree

Have a happy Christmas Day

Let’s start head banging merrily 

In a new and noisy way

To be honest, I’m not the first to imagine traditional Christmas songs and add a touch of heavy metal to spice things up. Here are Megadeth having some fun:

And Motörhead:

And of course the Darkness:

I hope you all have a wonderful Christmas. 

Sleepy

Welcome to South Manchester on day 34 of so-called freedom, on an unpleasant day with lots of rain. I narrowly avoided the rain this morning, the main showers starting about ten minutes after I had arrived home from my daily walk. Thank goodness.

Here is the usual Sunday Stealing post  called Sad and Sleepy. I decided to just call it Sleepy because I m not particularly sad at the moment – a little sleepy I guess but since it’s the weekend I will have a nice lie in tomorrow morning.

Shall we dive in?

1. Has anyone ever made fun of your taste in music?

People always make fun of my music. Most of them are lovers of terrible pop music (from all eras) or people who like classical music, jazz or similar tastes. I try not to tell people that their music is rubbish these days; instead I tell them that it is not to my taste. In return they tell me that the music I like is not music at all. Some say it is too noisy, that there is no tune, that the singers do not or cannot sing or that the musicians have zero talent. I have been called a musical dinosaur, tone deaf or contributing to the death of music by supporting such artists.

I do admit that some of the music I like is an acquired taste, but I genuinely believe that the musicians I like are extremely talented and exhibit virtuosity of the highest order. I tell such people that just because the powers that dictate people’s musical taste with an endless supply of banal and inane pop drivel don’t like my music because the artists are independent, talented and want to express themselves in a way that these evil music moguls don’t permit. 

My claims are substantiated because although the bands and artists I like don’t reach number one in the singles charts or get a lot of airplay on the radio, they still sell millions of records and sell out their tours. 

I will give anything a chance.

Even two songs as diverse as this:

What have I learned?

All life, it never goes away

You never will betray

When words have gone away

Remember Namaste

Remember – don’t let anyone tell you what music to like – but it does pay to expand your horizons. There is so much music out there waiting to be discovered.

2. Do you have pop-tarts in your house right now?

I have to say with my hand on my heart that I have never had a pop tart. So the answer is no.

3. Does someone owe you over twenty dollars?

Nobody owes me any money whatsoever. If somebody owed me $20 I would ask for £20 instead (which is a little more). That’s because you can’t spend dollars in the UK.

4. When was the last time you burned any part of your body?

I seem to remember that I picked up a saucepan with a metal handle and that burned. Why do they make saucepans with metal handles?

5. What kind of booze did you last take shots of?

I don’t drink shots. However, we visited a distillery in Llandudno, in Wales, a week or two ago and I tried a couple of shots of Welsh whiskey. I don’t like whiskey really so I asked the guide what he recommended for somebody who doesn’t really like it. The shot he gave me was, actually, surprisingly good, I have to say. It hasn’t changed my mind though to be fair.

6. If you could see any musician live, front row, who would you choose?

I’ve seen Devin Townsend live once but at the front, it was a little insane with a huge mosh pit forming around me. I would probably choose Steven Wilson as his music is a little more sedate and less prone to crowd eruptions.

7. If I gave you ten dollars, what would you spend it on?

I wouldn’t be able to spend it in the UK, as I said in question (3) because we use pound sterling instead. I could go to a currency exchange and get £7.34 for it and buy myself a beer or two at the pub. I would probably take it home and stash it away in my collection of foreign currency ready for my next trip to America.

8. Does / did either of your parents serve in the military?

Yes. My father served in the army for about three years in the late 1950’s. I don’t think he would have had he had a choice – it was mandatory in those days. I think he learned from his experience. 

9. Do you like sour candy?

I can honestly say that I have never had sour candy. It is a little bit of an oxymoron so to be honest I don’t think I would want to try it.

10. What do you do to stay awake when you’re tired?

I used to drink coffee but I have now given up caffeine because you cannot control how long it keeps you awake. These days, now I am older and wiser, I allow my body to dictate when I sleep. If I am at home and tired, I will allow sleep to take over and doze off. 

11.Do you wear your shoes around the house?

Only when I come into the house or just before I leave. 

12. Is there ever a time that you enjoy cold showers?

Yes – I like a cold shower when it is extremely hot. I was once in Oman and the outside temperature was about 38 degrees Centigrade and I stupidly decided to go for a walk. I didn’t last very long because the heat and the humidity conspired to start the process of cooking me alive. When I returned to my hotel room I was sweating so much that I could barely peel the T-shirt off my back. When I did, I simply stepped into a warm shower and gradually took the temperature down until it was absolutely freezing cold. That cooled me down very quickly and was thoroughly enjoyable. 

13. Are you good at filling silence in awkward situations?

It depends on the situation. If there are just two of us, I will try to kick start the conversation. I was once working in Russia with a colleague who was very quiet, so I tried to drive the conversation over dinner and in the hotel bar. It worked but it was hard work. If there is a large group of people I am more inclined to leave such things to somebody else.

14. Any TV shows you sit down weekly to watch?

Yes – quite a lot. Now the football season has started again, I usually watch Match of the Day on Saturday night and I watch the news on a daily basis. I tend to record most other programmes to watch at my leisure.

15. Are you one to sneak food into movie theaters?

Absolutely. I was very annoyed one time, as an adult with two young kids, when the usher (or whatever you want to call him – “jobsworth arsehole” was a phrase I had to stop myself from calling him to his face). The kids had a couple of bags of sweets and this arse wouldn’t let me take them in, leaving me no choice but to pay an exorbitant amount for their own sweets, drinks etc. Since that point I vowed to try to sneak in my own refreshments. And to that jobsworth arsehole I have this to say:

I have a 100% success rate you bloody idiot.

10 Albums That Changed My Life

I came across an article where one of my favourite musicians listed ten albums that changed his life. I found it quite interesting and so I thought I would have a go myself.

First Album Bought

Now you have to realise that when I scrapped together enough money to buy an album for the first time, I was just fourteen years old and I was quite into the pop charts and disco music from the 1970s. I loved one song in particular and it was by Donna Summer. I walked into the music shop and saw “The Greatest Hits of Donna Summer” and it contained the song – which was “I Feel Love”, with Giorgio Moroder. The synthesizer sound was incredible and it helped develop my love of electronic pop music, something that I would get into seriously about four years later.

Album Made Me Want To Play Guitar

Sadly I can’t play guitar and by the time I decided that it was a great instrument to play, I thought it was too late. I was around sixteen years old and I got into heavy metal at a time when it provided a perfect soundtrack for the rebellious nature that was dominating my life at that time. One album stood out and it was the first heavy metal album that I bought – a live album by the British rock band UFO called “Strangers in the Night”, recorded in Chicago. Michael Schenker was the guitarist for the band and on that album is a brilliant but long song called “Rock Bottom” where he showcases his amazing talent. Here is a song called “Doctor Doctor” that also features a great guitar.

Best Album Artwork

Again in the 1970’s I bought an amazing album called “No Mean City” by a Scottish rock band called Nazareth. I played it repeatedly but one thing that really appealed to me was the album cover, which you can see below. At the time I was into horror and fantasy and the sentinel guarding the gates of the city was perfect. My mum’s reaction when she first saw it was hilarious. “What the bloody hell is that?” she said shaking her head in disgust. I just laughed and said “Isn’t it amazing?” “No!” she said emphatically. Here is the title track from the album.

Album to Be Romantic to

I like soft music when I am in the mood to be romantic but as a grizzled old rocker, such albums are few and far between. However, my taste is quite eclectic and I will select a more recent offering, an ambient pop album by Zero 7 called “When It Falls”. This album is brilliant and although it is perfect for romance, I also love listening to it when I want to just relax and escape into a calm and peaceful place. Here is a great song called Warm Sound.

Album to Break the Speed Limit to

I am a fairly sensible driver so I would probably not break the speed limit that often. However, I have been in the car listening to music and only barely realized that I have slightly popped over the limit, particularly on a motorway. I have an album in mind – “Addicted!” by Devin Townsend. It is full of driving rock songs, ideal for a long car journey. Here is the title track.

If You Ask Me What Heavy Metal is I hand you a Copy of

“Defenders of the Faith” by British Heavy Metal band Judas Priest. The lead singer hails from my home town and they have been at the forefront of Heavy Metal since the beginning. This album is one of their best. Here is “Love Bites”:

The Album that No One Will Believe I Own is 

I stand by this choice. I heard the song “That’s Not My Name” and it is such an infectious pop song that I just bought the album, which is “We Started Nothing” and the band is, of course The Ting Tings. I wasn’t disappointed because it is full of similar songs that are, quite frankly excellent.

Here is the song that started it all.

The Album I Would Have Been Proud to Have Made is

There are lots of albums in my collection that I would have loved to have made had I been a musician and there are just too many to choose from. My favourite band over the past few decades have been Rush who are sadly no more. However they have left an incredible legacy and I will always love their music. The album I shall select is “Moving Pictures” – a classic from 1981. Here is a song about a car called Red Barchetta. 

Rest in Peace Neil Peart.

The Album That I Want Played At My Funeral Is

For me, I am torn with what I would like at my funeral. Part of me wants a celebration of who I am but part of me also wants a solemn occasion of reflection. Thinking about it, I think I am going to cheat and select two. My first is the slightly more ambient one with lovely songs  “Shepherd Moons” by Enya with the incredible song Caribbean Blue, reminding me of holidays in southern Europe.

The second is a proper progressive rock album that will keep the funeral party going with some brilliant and tunes. It is my favourite album by Dream Theater and is called “Images and Words”. Some of the songs are melodic, some atmospheric and some are just rock classics. Like this one:

The Album That Should Not Be Is

There are lots of albums that should not be (including most jazz, hip-hop and country albums) but I will choose one that I actually bought and, because I hoard CD’s, will not get rid of. Don’t get me wrong – there are some good songs on it (well one or two) but I just wish I hadn’t bought it. It is of course “Rattle and Hum” by U2, and it marks, for me at least, the point where Bono’s ego grew out of control. I am sure U2 fans love it and I am certain that some U2 fans might hurl abuse at me if they come across this particular post. Nevertheless, in my opinion it is full of self-indulgence and not a patch on “The Unforgettable Fire” which is my favourite by the band. Still, here is a song I like off the album.

And Finally …

I hope you found this post interesting. It would be fun to see what albums you would put in each category so if you feel inclined, please drop me a line – or feel free to steal the idea (which admittedly I stole).

Jim Steinman

I’ve just heard that Jim Steinman has died. People will know him as the man behind “Bat Out of Hell”, the iconic and best selling album by Meat Loaf but he dipped his creative fingers into various other musical pies too. 

My first memory of Jim Steinman’s music was around the time my old mate Wally (not his real name) bought his first car at the age of 18. He learned to drive as soon as he could and bought himself a red Ford Capri, an iconic car from the 1970’s. It was a great car and most importantly for me it had a decent car stereo that played tapes at high volume as Wally cruised around the streets of Walsall and West Bromwich with me as his passenger, looking for something interesting to do, or more accurately trying to be flash with young ladies. 

Wally was a good looking chap, unlike me, and his attempts to woo young ladies with the aid of his car usually worked. Sadly they weren’t interested in me, apart from when he was too scared to talk to them and he dropped me off just to chat to them on his behalf. 

One girl was gorgeous and he was a coward so I suggested that I break the ice for him. Bear in mind, I was quite shy and I kind of lived in Wally’s shadow. This girl, let’s call her Mandy, had noticed Wally’s car driving up and down the road, with Wally coolly leaning out of the window with sunglasses and blaring songs from Bat Out of Hell. She started waving but he didn’t think he stood a chance – which amazed me, given that he seemed so confident.

“Just stop the car and I’ll talk to her for you,” I said. 

He stopped, I got out and then he just drove off. 

I waited for about five minutes and Mandy looked at me , prpbably thinking "What is that idiot doing just standing there like a lemon?" 

In the end, I just strolled over and said “Hi – I’m Dave. I’ve erm erm erm erm been left here to talk to you for my mate.”

She laughed and said “Really?”

I warmed to her and said “He’s just a coward but he wants to talk to you.”

So we chatted for about ten minutes before Wally reappeared and drove past – again with Meat Loaf blaring out. 

“Why doesn’t he stop?” she asked. 

“Too scared,” I said. 

Eventually, Wally waited for me about two hundred yards away and in exasperation I ran to him jumped in the car and he sped off leaving Mandy waiting. 

Common sense prevailed and he eventually plucked up some courage and they had a bit of a fling for a few months. 

Jim Steinman reminds me of that time of my youth. I loved Bat Out of Hell and also Steinman’s solo album which appeared just after that. I also enjoyed his work with Bonnie Tyler and the Sisters of Mercy.

In honour of him, I present five songs that he has been involved in and that I love. I heard somebody say that Jim Steinman invented the power ballad. Whether that is true or not, I just love the rock songs so the songs below are not power ballads.

Bat Out of Hell from Bat Out of Hell by Meat Loaf (1977)

Bat Out of Hell is probably my favourite song by Jim Steinman. I love the concept and Meat Loaf’s voice is the best it has ever been in my opinion. It is a pure rock song, brilliant to drive to and the guitars are incredible, sounding like the most powerful motorbike on Earth revving up ready to hit the road at breakneck speed. I have driven in America when this song came on the radio and, for a moment, it was pure bliss; the open road in front of me and a fantastic song on the radio. 

Well I can see myself tearing up the road, faster

Than any other boy has ever gone

And my skin is raw, but my soul is ripe,

And no one's gonna stop me now, I'm gonna make my escape

Stark Raving Love from Bad for Good by Jim Steinman (1981)

Meat Loaf had vocal problems and the songs on Bad for Good were meant to be for his second album. Some of them appeared later on Bat Out of Hell II but the best versions were on Bad for Good in my opinion. Jim Steinman’s voice is nowhere near as good as Meat Loaf’s but he does his best to belt out some brilliant songs. Elements of this song were later taken to form Holding Out for a Hero by Bonnie Tyler but this song is much better. If you skip to the 5:14 point in the video you will hear some amazing guitar, reminiscent of Bat Out of Hell itself. This is an amazing song.

Peel Out from Dead Ringer by Meat Loaf (1981)

This is the title track from Meat Loaf’s second album and the best song in my opinion. After the magnificence of Bat Out of Hell, I found this album slightly disappointing. I do love this song though.

Faster Than the Speed of Night from Faster Than the Speed of Night by Bonnie Tyler (1983)

I was stunned when I heard Welsh singer Bonnie Tyler singing rock songs. She started off with a few singles in the 1970’s which were basically pop songs. She had a voice that was rough and rocky and the songs she sang then didn’t do her justice. I heard Faster Than the Speed of Night and immediately recognized the epic nature of Jim Steinman. Another great song.

This Corrosion from Floodland by Sisters of Mercy(1987)

I love a bit of gothic rock and when I heard this song I dived in and bought the CD. Imagine my surprise when I heard that Jim Steinman was involved as the producer. Unlike a lot of songs by the band, it has epic depth and even includes a choir. It has Steinman stamped all over it. A surprising and brilliant addition to his portfolio.

And finally…

I’ll leave with a word from Jim Steinman himself that sums up his legacy.

I simply love the punchline.

Rest in peace, Jim and thanks for the memories.

The Playlist

I have learned something about my relationship with Mrs PM during the year or so of lockdown and restrictions due to COVID-19. It is something that has surprised both of us. 

Over the past year, we have reserved a couple of hours on Friday and/or Saturday night to relax and just chat. Since we are locked down we cannot go out anywhere and so we just talk about life with the assistance of a glass of wine or a beer. 

We used to do this before lockdown in a pub or a restaurant and the one thing that we needed at home was some background music. Usually in a pub, you have no choice about the music that is playing in the background and, as you can imagine, the pop music that plays in these places is not my favourite. I tolerate it because I have to.

Home is a different matter. This is my home and I want to control the music. Mrs PM has the same outlook – she wants the control the music too.

The problem is that our tastes in music are poles apart. She likes dance music and all manner of modern pop music that I despise. I like older pop music and rock music, including progressive rock, heavy metal and basically (as she calls it) “weird music”.

There is no overlap. Here is a Venn Diagram illustrating the music we have in common.

I have all of my music stored electronically on my laptop and I still buy CDs because I want to own it. Mrs PM is transient in her taste and when she hears something she likes, she plays it to death and then discards it when she is fed up of it. She used to buy CDs and then commit an act of pure sacrilege that I can barely bring myself to type – she GIVES AWAY HER CDs. She thinks that I should do the same. 

I know – it’s incredible.

Now she has decided that she won’t buy any more CDs and has taken up a paid Spotify account. This is good for her and I also considered it but for reasons that I am not going to go into now, I decided against it. I have a free Spotify account that I sometimes use to discover new music which results in me buying the CD eventually.

We decided to treat ourselves to a Sonos speaker, a wireless device that you can speak to with Google Assistant and will allow us to set alarms, ask questions, and most importantly play music from Mrs PM’s Spotify account, opening us up to a vast database of music.

If only we could agree on what music to play, given that it has to live in the overlap in the Venn Diagram above.

One Friday, we decided to attack this problem head on. Our discussion was; “What music can we possibly have in common?”

At first we took the tentative steps down the path. 

MRS PM: Do you like Britney Spears?

PM: (having eventually stopped laughing) Of course not.

MRS PM: How about Rihanna? Or Madonna?

PM: NO! I hate them. Oh hang on – there are a couple of Madonna songs I quite like. 

This one:

That was a start. I asked about classic progressive rock and she agreed that this song was good:

That is two songs in common. Over the weeks, we have chatted about music for the first hour or so, popping songs onto the Sonos and either adding them to a Spotify playlist or discarding them. Both of us have been willing to experiment and listen to suggestions and it has only bloody well worked. 

We have built up a considerable playlist of music that we both actually like and this includes, broadly, 1970’s disco, some glam rock, 1970’s David Bowie, 1980’s electronic pop music, ELO, Depeche Mode, Gary Numan, some Nine Inch Nails, one heavy metal song by System of a Down, Some Simon and Garfunkel, one Rush song, early Elton John, Blondie, The Police, Roxy Music, Muse and many many more.

We have between 250 and 300 songs that we can both listen to in the background without either of us complaining. And we are adding more each week.

That’s incredible.

We are both delighted because we can take this playlist with us on holiday or on trips and chat over background music that doesn’t leave one or both of us screaming “For crying out loud TURN THAT CRAP OFF!”

Here a couple of songs from the list to finish off.

The moral of the post is - you can always find common ground and something to agree on.

Introducing Mariusz Duda

 

If you haven’t heard of Steven Wilson or Devin Townsend then there is a very good chance that you may not have heard of Mariusz Duda either.

Mariusz is from Poland and fronts a band called Riverside, a very talented progressive rock outfit also from Poland. I discovered the band while searching for new music a few years ago.  If you were to ask Mariusz, he would probably say that Riverside are not a progressive rock band at all. He would perhaps prefer to say that they have a style of their own and that the progressive rock genre have embraced them as one of their own simply because their music is rock and different. 

I would say that they are a rock band but they are more than that in my view; they explore different styles within the genre. Some of their songs are simply beautiful, others being harder and heavier, yet more being progressive epics of the order of 10 to 15 minutes and they have also dabbled with ambient music.

Mariusz is the singer, bass guitarist and leader of the band and main songwriter, and as well as that he has a solo project called Lunatic Soul where he can experiment with different styles of music, some of which is very interesting. He can play guitar, bass guitar and keyboards.

So far Riverside have produced eight albums one of which is slightly more experimental. All of them are absolutely brilliant and on top of that, Mariusz has produced seven Lunatic Soul albums and a purely electronic solo album that doesn’t fit into the scope of Riverside and Lunatic Soul.

I was privileged in 2018 to see Riverside live in Manchester supporting the album “Waste7and” a concept album set in a post-apocalyptic wasteland as the title suggests.

Here is a sample of the work of Mariusz Duda, both with Riverside and Lunatic Soul.

Riverside - Conceiving You – from Second Life Syndrome (2005)

When I said that Mariusz Duda can write beautiful songs, there are fewer that are better than this stunning song from Riverside’s second album. I like a few rock ballads but this one is right up near to the top.

Riverside - The Night Before – from Waste7and (2018)

Equally beautiful is The Night Before, a haunting piano driven song from the latest album by Riverside. It is particularly poignant because it is meant to represent the feeling of safety and comfort the night before something terrible happens. Another masterpiece.

Riverside - Towards the Blue Horizon – from Love, Fear and the Time Machine (2015)

This song illustrates everything I like about Riverside, starting off quite mellow and gradually developing into a grand progressive rock song, not too heavy and retaining a great melody throughout and even reminiscent of Porcupine Tree at the 5 minute mark (check it out if you are a fan of the band).

Riverside - O2 Panic Room – from Rapid Eye Movement (2007)

A slightly heavier and more disturbing song with a video to accompany it (that in fact I have only just seen for the first time). The bass guitar is prominent throughout and if you listen carefully you can hear Mariusz also using his voice as another instrument. 

Riverside - Celebrity Touch – from Shrine of New Generation Slaves (2013)

This is Riverside at their most commercial – a straightforward rock song, again with a slightly disturbing video. The song is about the pitfalls of being a celebrity, desperate for attention.

Lunatic Soul – Navvie – from Through Shaded Woods (2020)

With Lunatic Soul, Mariusz experiments with different kinds of music. Here he tries his hand at folk rock with Navvie from the most recent album. Every Lunatic Soul album is different and different again from Riverside.

I believe that Mariusz’s next project will be a new Riverside album and he has indicated that it will a heavier offering, which I welcome with open arms. I am certain it will still be quite diverse and I look forward to seeing them again should when this damned pandemic finally ends.

Senior Life

Welcome to a sunny South Manchester on day 350 of lockdown restrictions. I had my first Covid-19 vaccination this week and it was a piece of cake. I turned up 15 minutes early and was directed through the vaccination centre and, before I knew it, a nurse had me sitting down in a chair and a needle containing the Pfizer vaccination was plunged into my left arm. I then had to wait for 15 minutes before being unleashed back into the wild with, hopefully, my body starting to build its resistance to the coronavirus. 

I am therefore a very happy chap. Spring is in the air, the worst two months of the year are almost over, it’s warming up and we have a rough timetable back to normality in the UK. 

Let’s  answer some silly questions from Sunday Stealing. 

1. What is the farthest you have ever travelled?

Regular readers will know that I have travelled a lot in my life to various places including Europe, North America, South America, South Africa, the Middle East, East Asia and Australia. The furthest I have travelled has to be Sydney, Sydney Australia. 

The distance between Manchester and Sydney is 10,560 miles as the crow flies. 

That’s a long way.

2. Who did you date while in high school?

I didn’t go to High School. I went to an all-boys grammar school and obviously that stifled my ability to get myself a date. Outside school, I was a short, spotty little git and I had no success with woman. Thankfully at the age or about 16 or 17 I started to grow and my spots disappeared and I managed to convince a young lady to go out with me for an entire year. I was still at school and I kept my romance and my schoolfriends apart. 

I often wonder what happened to her.

3. What is one of the worst trips you've ever taken? What went wrong?

Quite a few years ago, Mrs PM and I booked a trip to Thailand, the beautiful island of Koh Samui. Unfortunately, we messed up the timing of the trip because we didn’t realise that we would arrive and stay in the middle of the rainy season. 

It poured down from the day we arrived until the day that we left, with relentless thunderstorms pouring the entire contents of the Gulf of Thailand onto the island. I lost count of the number of times we took a chance to go for a walk and ended up looking as if we had dived fully clothed into the sea. The road outside our hotel was flooded and I waded across it to get into the hotel and seek sanctuary in the hotel room. We spent a lot of time in bars, as you can imagine in order to try to squeeze some enjoyment as we were deluged by apocalyptic thunderstorms. 

I have never been so relieved to board the plane home. 

I will go back one day – outside of the rainy season.

4. How do you like to spend a lazy day?

The lockdown has provided lots of lazy days in the past year. I will read, write, play computer games, listen to music, watch TV and play with the cats. 

5. How old were you when you found out that JFK had been assassinated? How did it affect you?

I was one year, one month and two weeks old. I was not affected by the assassination in the slightest. 

Since then, though, I have to admit to being intrigued about the conspiracy theories surrounding the murder. I particularly liked a book by Stephen King called 11/22/63 (or in UK terms 22/11/63 – I have never understood why Americans use that weird date format). In the book, a man discovers that he can go back in time and stop the assassination. It was a very good book that was also turned into a mini-series starring James Franco. 

I would recommend them both.

6. Who has been one of the most important people in your life?

There are loads of important people in my life. However, the most important is Mrs PM, of course. She is my soul mate.

7. What is one trait you would most like to improve in yourself?

Procrastination. I have been waging a war on this debilitating trait in my life for a few years now and I am actually winning, thanks to things like creating habits and using rewards to make sure that I deal with things in a timely manner. It does work and it is the kind of thing that I recommend that people try at the beginning of a new year. You can get into the habit of doing anything if you try and this is Captain Procrastinator’s worst enemy.

8. Did you date someone in college?

Well, I had a couple of dates but I was shy and useless. I did meet my future wife at university but we didn’t get together until after I had left. The marriage didn’t last, sadly, but that’s life, I guess. 

9. What was your dream car?

I have never had a dream car. I regard cars as a means to get me from A to B. Some are better than others but I regard them as an expensive luxury. I would never be tempted to by a super car or anything that costs more than my house. That said, I would like to have a go at driving such a car around a safe track.

10. Did you have a family member you wish you'd gotten to know better?

Not really. There are a few people on my mother’s side of the family that I didn’t really know, mainly her cousins and their kids. We rarely encountered each other to be honest.

11. Tell me about your greatest gardening success.   

I hate gardening with a passion. My dad was a very keen gardener and turned our back garden into a huge vegetable patch, which he then spent hours tending to and dragged me into helping him, even during the summer when my hay fever was at it’s worst. It is the one thing that I didn’t like about him, as he tried to turn me into the keen gardener that he was. He grew so many vegetables that we couldn’t eat them all and he ended up giving a load of them away to friends and family. 

I did have success because he used to get me to plant various things and then take over responsibility for nurturing them over the weeks. I can’t recall specifically what I grew, but it involved things like potatoes, onions, sprouts, cabbage, carrots, tomatoes, parsnips, turnips, leeks etc.

I guess one of those. 

Now, Mrs PM enjoys doing a little gardening (flowers and plants as opposed to vegetables), which is fine by me. I have been known to help on the odd occasion that she needs some heavy lifting or digging – but I avoid it as much as I can.

12. What was your Dad like when you were a child?

My dad was amazing, apart from his love of gardening.

13. What is the best job you've ever had?

Actually, while I was at university, I was briefly a postman in between the terms and I really enjoyed it. It was quite satisfying strolling around the streets delivering letters and parcels. I still enjoy walking now and I think that if I were tempted to work again after I retire, I might consider it as a part time option if I get bored (which is unlikely).

14. What are your favourite songs?

I could write a book on this. But I will give you three examples of my current favourites:

15. If you could choose any talents to have, what would they be?

I would choose to be a good writer capable of writing a decent set of novels instead of churning out the nonsense you are reading right now. 

I would also choose to be able to play a guitar like Joe Satriani and keyboards like Jordan Rudess. I would also love to have the ability to write and sing decent songs.