Bonkers

I like a lot of songs but some of them are what I would describe as bonkers. 

I do appreciate that “bonkers” is in the eye of the beholder and while some people may think that a song is bonkers, it doesn’t necessarily follow that all people will think that the song is bonkers; some people may even say that it is a masterpiece. 

I thought that I would share ten songs that I love (in no particular order), but that I feel are bonkers. If you feel that these songs are masterpieces then that’s totally up to you. 

1. Godley and Creme – Snack Attack!

Kevin Godley and Lol Creme used to be in a Manchester based band called 10cc who, in their own way produced some slightly eccentric songs. Godley and Creme struck out on their own in the late 1970s and had great success with an album called “Ismism”, featuring a massive hit song in the UK called "Under Your Thumb". However, on the same album there are a couple of songs that I would call bonkers and the one that stands out is “Snack Attack”. 

It is supposedly sung by a man who is so enormous that the doctors wired his jaws together so that he can’t eat huge quantities of food and who is singing about his struggles with his desire to eat. 

The lyrics are really silly and hilarious. 

Here are some of my favourites:

I can’t eat no more – I gotta use a straw.

…

Armies of food invade my sleep

Led by lasagnas ten inches deep

My head is pounding my heart is beating

Cows are mooing sheep are bleating

I'm being haunted by all the meat I've eaten 

2. The Mute Gods – Tardigrades Will Inherit the Earth

Nick Beggs is a rather eccentric person and was the bass player in Kajagoogoo who had a massive hit in the early 1980’s. He has done a lot of work since then, notably (for me at least) working with one of my favourite artists – Steven Wilson. 

A few years ago he formed a band called The Mute Gods, a prog rock band that had three albums. This song is the title track of the second album and has a great title. 

In case you are wondering, tardigrades are microscopic creatures that are supposed to be very resilient even surviving exposure to space, thus prompting the premise of this song that these tiny creatures will survive when humankind has annihilated all life on the planet. 

A Tardigrade

While the song may have a serious message, it is a very silly song with a very silly video that is typical of Nick Beggs’ eccentricity. 

3. Whale – Hobo Humpin’ Slobo Babe

Whale were a Swedish band active for most of the 1990’s and this is the only song that I have heard by the band. But what a bonkers belter it is. A “slobo babe” is meant to be a Chelsea girl – or maybe not. Either way, this song is crazy – in my eyes at least.

I have absolutely no idea what the song is about. Perhaps somebody could shed some light on it. 

4. Electric Six – Danger! High Voltage

Electric Six have a couple of mad songs but this one is absolutely bonkers. The video adds to its bonkers nature (I think it is hilarious) and the whole thing makes little sense to me – apart from the raunchy nature of it all. I love the mad lyrics too:

Fire in the disco

Fire in the Taco Bell

Fire in the disco

Fire in the gates of hell

5. Thomas Dolby – Hyperactive!

Thomas Dolby had a big hit with this song in 1984 and I was drawn to it because it is a mad song. I loved it at the time and I still love it now. Why? Because I think it’s bonkers. 

6. David Bowie – The Jean Genie

This may seem like a normal song at first but if you listen to the lyrics you will discover that they are truly bonkers. Here are a few examples:

A small Jean Genie snuck off to the city

Strung out on lasers and slash back plazas

Ate all your razors while pulling the waiters

Talking 'bout Monroe and walking on Snow White

New York's a go-go and everything tastes right

Poor little Greenie

. . .

Sits like a man, but he smiles like a reptile

She loves him, she loves him, but just for a short while

She'll scratch in the sand, won't let go his hand

He says he's a beautician and sells you nutrition

And keeps all your dead hair for making up underwear

Poor little Greenie

This song goes down in history as the very first song I heard by David Bowie, so as well as being bonkers it is also a very special one to me. 

7. Focus – Hocus Pocus

Focus are a Dutch progressive rock band who were very big in the 1970’s. They are apparently still going strong. But back in the 1970’s they had a couple of big hits in the UK, one of which is "Hocus Pocus" and shows the band at their most eccentric. The keyboard player is called Thijs van Leer and he is responsible for the bonkers vocal interventions between the musical interludes which include yodelling and whistling as well as one flute interlude. I love the song but I think it is bonkers. And "Hocus Pocus by Focus" has a nice ring to it. 

8. Devin Townsend – Bad Devil 

I am a huge fan of Devin Townsend and he writes some great songs – and some weird ones too. One of my favourite of his weird songs is “Bad Devil”. As well as being truly bonkers, it is a really fun song that moves around various genres all in the space of about four minutes. 

Bad Devil 

Bad Double-Decker Devil

9. Rammstein – Te Quiero Puta!

Rammstein are a German industrial metal band who sing almost exclusively in the native language, apart from the odd song in English, French and, in this case, Spanish. Who knows why they decided to produce a mariarchi style song sung entirely in Spanish? It is not their typical style at all.

They are famous in Germany for having very dodgy lyrics in their own language and this song is no exception. If you understand Spanish (and I do understand a fair amount) you will know what this means (and perhaps should be wary of listening to the words). Still, it is totally bonkers.

10. Tenacious D – Master Exploder

Jack Black’s band is famous for crazy songs (take "Tribute" as an example). However, I think that “Master Exploder” is the craziest as you will see from the video below. 

Warning, it is funny, a bit gruesome, rude and contains swearing – and, of course, it is completely bonkers. 

Teenage Wildlife

Welcome to a sunny and warm spring day in South Manchester. It looks like we have dismissed winter for another few months, although typically, particularly in the UK, it can come back just to nip us on the arse occasionally. 

It must be getting warmer because the cricket season starts in a couple of weeks and I will be popping to Old Trafford to watch a few games this season as long as the weather is good enough that is. 

Let’s answer some silly Sunday Stealing  questions about adolescence. I have to say that this time of my life was particularly hormonal and as such I became a bit of an arse before I finally started to grow up. You could argue that I am still growing up in my 60’s – it’s a long process for me. 

Have you ever: 

1. Skipped school?

No. I was a cheeky little bugger but I was quite studious and conscientious; I wanted the best grades possible. The school I went to was a grammar school which put a lot of emphasis on succeeding academically with the ultimate goal to be to attend university and fly off into the sunset with a great career with great qualifications. While I used to arrogantly question the teachers and act like an immature little monster, they somehow managed to convince me that academic achievement was something that I needed to pursue. That means that I never even considered playing truant. 

2. Lettered in a school sport?

I had to look this up. I have never heard of “lettering in a school sport” and Mr Google informed me that it is an Americanism that means that you have excelled so much in a sport that you have a letter on your jacket to display as a sort of award. This actually explains a lot to me in that I never realized the significance of having a jacket like this:

I have seen them but usually only in American “teen” movies. You live and learn.

We don’t have such things in the UK and to be honest I wasn’t good enough at sport to have achieved such a dubious accolade. I did make the school sports team for cross country running, which involves a race over rough terrain such as fields, roads and woodland for a middle distance of about five miles on average. I hated it because you had to run in the coldest parts of winter. I failed at rugby because I was too small and I failed at cricket because I was hit in the face by a cricket ball and it made me very nervous about participating. I did play other sports but for fun more than achievement. 

3. Made a prank phone call?

Oh yes. We called up one of my teachers once pretending to be meals on wheels and it was working until my mate screamed out my name. The teacher never said anything but I am sure that he started picking on me more afterwards. We also called taxis for people once or twice. 

4. Paid for a meal with coins?

Not a meal but a pint of beer. When I was a student in Liverpool, I had a jar where I stored all of my spare change, and one day I worked out that I had a few quid in there – enough to buy a couple of pints at the local pub. Sadly, when I counted out the cost of the pint in 1p and 2p coins, the barman told me that he would accept it this time but not again. I was tempted to question his judgement until I realised that I was surrounded by a lot of local people who were already annoyed at this spotty little bespectacled student. 

I never did it again. 

5. Laughed until some sort of beverage came out of your nose?

Oh yes – several times as both a child and an adult. The last time it happened was when somebody told a joke in the office and I had a mouth full of tea, which I managed to eject from my mouth and nose all over my desk, onto my keyboard and all over my notebook. It was unpleasant but I couldn’t stop laughing. And the worst thing was that the joke wasn’t even that funny – it just caught me unawares. 

Top Ten Status Quo Songs

Have you ever heard of a rock band called Status Quo? 

This band is almost exactly as old as I am, being formed in London in the year that I was born. They are actually still making music but the line up has changed with only Francis Rossi being the only constant member of the band. 

From the late 1960's to the late 1980’s they constantly had singles in the UK charts. In the UK, we had a show called “Top of the Pops”, which had acts who were currently riding high in the charts and gave us the top 40 countdown every week. Many really famous artists have appeared on this show but the band that has the record number of appearances is Status Quo. 

They have played in front of King Charles III (when he was Prince Charles) and in July 1985, they opened Live Aid at Wembley stadium. They also featured on the accompanying song “Do They Know It’s Christmas” as part of Band Aid. They are (or were) a big deal in the UK but as far as I know, they didn’t really make the transition to the United States. 

I grew up with this band and from the age of about twelve until probably my thirtieth birthday, their music was a big part of my life. 

In their early days, the 1960’s, they started off as a psychedelic band and evolved in the 1970’s into a  sort of boogie rock band, with elements of hard rock occasionally. They were famous for dressing in denim and playing really catchy rock songs. They weren’t a heavy metal band at all and their music was much closer to pop music. 

They have been prolific and have released a total of 33 albums, their last one in 2019. That’s quite astounding really. When it comes to singles, their last chart hit was in 2008. 

I have only seen them live once but that was a memorable gig because they were supporting Queen at a huge concert at Knebworth Park in 1986 and this was Freddy Mercury’s last ever appearance on stage. 

You can read about that gig here

There were 120,000 people there – and I was one of them. I loved Status Quo and Queen so this was a win/win for me. 

While I was walking this morning, a Status Quo song popped up on my playlist and I thought it would be a good idea to post my favourite ten songs by the band. For those of you who have heard of the band (which will be most of the UK, some of Europe and possibly Australia) I hope this brings back memories of what a great band they are. If you are American, perhaps this serves as an overdue introduction to a British institution. 

I hope you like the songs.

10. Paper Plane (from Piledriver 1972)

"Paper Plane" is one of the first songs by Status Quo that I heard and many will say that this is a quintessential song by the band. The bands detractors used to say that a lot of their songs sound very similar, a sentiment that I can see but don’t agree with. For me, I liked that boogie sound and while it is a theme, I think the band is much deeper than such critics imply. I was ten years old when this was released and it was one of the first times I was exposed to what you may broadly term “rock music”. 

9. Down Down (from On the Level – 1975)

Status Quo had over 60 chart hits in the UK with 22 of them reaching the top ten. However "Down Down" was the only one that reached number 1, which is surprising considering their prolific output. 

8. Don’t Drive My Car (from Just Supposin’ – 1980)

"Just Supposin’" is my favourite album by the band and this may be helped by it coinciding with a key part of my life. The album was released just after my eighteenth birthday and I was in my final year of school and just discovering the glory of beer. My best mate at the time owned a car and we used to listen to it non-stop when driving around. It brings back brilliant memories. I lost touch with him after university, sadly. And, no, he wouldn’t let me drive his car (I couldn’t drive to be fair). 

7. Rain (from Blue for You – 1976)

When I first heard this, I thought the chorus was “I can’t live without Lorraine” and even now when I hear it, part of me wants to sing that lyric for fun. Of course, the lyrics are “I can’t live without the rain” and sometimes it pops up on my playlist as I walk around the rainy streets of Manchester. I don’t think that they had this in mind when they wrote it back in 1976.

6. Over the Edge (from Just Supposin’ – 1980)

The second song in the list from Just Supposin’ is one of two songs that weren’t singles. Personally, I think it should have been but then who am I to choose? I just love the song and it was a firm favourite of my old mate’s as we drove around in 1980 nodding our heads in time to the music with huge grins on our faces and singing “You’re driving me crazy!”

5. Livin’ on an Island (from Whatever You Want – 1979)

This song is not typical of the band at all, sacrificing that boogie rock sound for a more mellow rock ballad style. I think it’s quite beautiful actually and I occasionally listen to it when I’m sitting on my own on a beach watching the sea. The guy singing the song is Rick Parfitt, one of the founder members of the band who sadly passed away in 2016. Rest in peace Rick. 

4. Roll Over Lay Down (from Hello – 1973)

I love this song and after mentioning Rick Parfitt already it is only fair to mention Francis Rossi, the guy singing this one. He is the only person remaining from the original band and is still going strong at the tender age of 76. 

3. Mystery Song (from Blue for You – 1973)

If you listen to the lyrics this song isn’t a mystery at all. It is about a young man’s encounter with a “lady of the night”, which is probably why they decided to name it in the vague way that they did without it getting banned. It didn’t get banned and despite the subject matter, it is a very good song.  

2. Forty Five Hundred Times (from Hello – 1973)

Forty Five Hundred Times wasn’t a single. For one, it is too long, clocking in at almost ten minutes. It is probably the closest to a progressive rock song that the band ever came to. I first heard the song when Status Quo did a live show in front of Prince Charles in 1982 for the Princes Trust, which was broadcast on a radio programme I used to listen to called “The Friday Rock Show”. The live version was unbelievably brilliant because the band just let rip and had fun. 

It is one of those songs that is just so much better live. Sadly, I can’t find the version from NEC but here is a version from two years later in Milton Keynes, which shows them having great fun playing a version that clocks in at 17 minutes and having tremendous fun in front of a huge crowd.

1. What You’re Proposin’ (from Just Supposin’ – 1980)

This is a very simple song and the reason it is my favourite is because it reminds me of when I was 18 years old. A lot happened that year and this song was played absolutely everywhere. The mate I mentioned above always used to put this song on the jukebox when we walked into a pub called The New Inn in Walsall town centre on a Saturday night. It has a special meaning to me and is one of those time machine songs, i.e. when I hear it, I am immediately taken back to the New Inn. Sadly that pub doesn’t exist anymore – apart from in my mind with this song as a soundtrack to me drinking half a pint of lager and lime. 

The Best of the Best of the Best

I’ve been reading a book that I found in our joint Kindle library called “Quiet” by Susan Cain, which is about introverts and how powerful they can be. It perked my interest because a large part of me is introverted. I have written a post about this:

Inside My Head 

I wouldn’t say that I am fully introverted because, as the post above says, there is an extrovert inside of me. Apparently this makes me an ambivert – somebody who loves being the centre of attention sometimes but also craves isolation. I would say that I am more of an introvert (probably about 70%) and the book above kind of confirms that. It’s a very interesting read and I can see myself in it. 

The writer of the book claims that the world has become driven by extroverts and, being an introvert herself, finds it a challenge to thrive in such a world. The whole point of the book is to shine a light on what makes a person an introvert and how such a person can succeed and flourish. It's too late for me because I have retired and am very happy now that I don’t have to unleash the extrovert into the corporate world when required (even though I often did).

Do we live in a world driven by extroverts? 

I am not so sure. I do believe that America in particular is more of an an extrovert-driven country but I’m not so sure about the rest of the world. I have worked and visited many and varied countries both as a tourist and as a worker and the corporate environment is not the same as it is in America. 

I have also been to the United States both as a tourist and as part of my job and I have witnessed this trend myself. I don’t want to generalise but a lot of corporate Americans that crossed my path seem to be extroverts who love to be the centre of attention. As a tourist, I got this too. Here is an example. 

I found myself in a theatre somewhere watching a hypnotist. I had seen a hypnotist in the UK and when he asked for volunteers from the audience, the majority of people were very reluctant to do so, with most, including me, trying to shrink in their chair, hoping it would swallow me up. Eventually the hypnotist ended up picking on people, that is, almost pleading with them to volunteer. In America, I found myself on the front row and having seen the hypnotist in the UK, was dreading the fact that he might see me and invite me on stage to humiliate myself. Worse, he might detect that I am English and that would be that. He walked out on stage and started his act and then looked at the audience. I swear that he was looking at me, directly in the eye, as the words came out of his mouth. 

“Can I have some volunteers from the audience please?”

I didn’t have to worry. 

Hundreds of arms shot up, and people started clapping and cheering and whooping in the way that Americans do. Many were disappointed. I was relieved. 

The guy behind me was very upset because he wasn’t picked. 

“AM I INVISIBLE?” he yelled at anyone who was willing to listen, his disgust plain for all to see. His words fell on deaf ears because there were other people complaining too. 

I am sceptical about hypnosis and when the hypnotist convinced a guy that he was Michael Jackson and a woman that she was Madonna, I didn’t believe it. To me these people were seeking attention and when he got them to sing a “duet” before snapping his fingers and releasing them from their trances, I almost laughed – not at the fact that their attempts were funny; I thought they weren’t hypnotised at all and simply wanted to show off. And it worked because both of them loved the rapturous applause they received, with the guy even bowing as if he were a rock star.

When I was working in Atlanta, the people were all very friendly and I even got my own little cube to work in. My aim was to perform a critical upgrade of the operating system and database and all I wanted was to let the introvert take over and settle down and get on with my job undisturbed. That couldn’t happen in America. Loads of people popped into my cube and introduced themselves. Some wanted to talk to the British person, others were just adding me to their already massive social circle by inviting me for lunch or even dinner. It was easy for me because I am British and as such, they were fascinated by my European and British heritage as well as my accent. The extrovert took over a lot more than I expected him to. In fact, on a separate occasion, I had to give a course there and I dreaded that because I am afraid of public speaking and in a country where public speaking seems to be a corporate requirement (certainly in my experience), I figured that the job would be so much more difficult. 

You can read about that here:

Fear (Part Three) – Public Speaking

I know that I am wrong in my generalisation that Americans are all extroverts. Clearly they are not. I have met many introverts on my travels over there. However, I am aware that self-improvement is something that was born across the pond and I think there is an expectation to be the best of the best – as illustrated in this clip:

In fact, Susan Cain’s book introduces a real live motivational speaker called Tony Robbins, who claims that everybody has a sleeping giant within, a powerful alter-ego that can take over and make you evolve into that person by focussing on the right things and “unleashing your power”. He plays in front of huge crowds and here is a taster of what you would get if you were to attend one of his events:

We don’t get many people like that in the UK, nor, in my experience at least, in the rest of the world. I’m not saying that Tony Robbins isn’t good at what he does at all. Helping people to find inner strength is a laudable quality. It’s just the whole showbusiness aspect of it I am highlighting. In the book Susan Cain says that she attended one of his events and, as an introvert, felt way out of her comfort zone. Tony Robbins was bouncing around the stage like the rampant extrovert he is, and he had his audience captivated and screaming and whooping in the way that only Americans do. It was more like a rock concert than a motivational therapy session. 

While this concept exists in the UK, we are more laid back and much less likely to be taken in by desire to be the best of the best. Some people are, don’t get me wrong, but over here we are a reserved bunch who laugh and make fun of such things. I have worked with Mr Motivation (or Mr Motivator), an old nemesis of mine, who demands that I try to be the best of the best. You can read about him here: 

The Art of Underachievement 

Every acolyte of Mr Motivation I have met is an extrovert. Introverts like me can succeed and climb the corporate ladder but we do it in our own way. The conversation I had in the above post is based on a real one where I told this particular Mr Motivation that in the end that you should play to your strengths, and, as I hope that Susan Cain concludes by the time that I have finished her book, it is absolutely fine to be an introvert with different desires and ways of working. You will succeed in your own way even if you are an introvert and don’t want to spend all your time looking for power and influence in an extrovert-driven existence. 

You don’t have to be the best of the best of the best. Nevertheless, as an introvert, you still can be if you so desire. 

Plastic Analysis

Welcome to a wet and miserable South Manchester where the rain is drizzling down and making my cats wet. You may think this is funny but it isn’t. Off they go outside through the cat flap and spend their time wandering around getting soaked before having a dig in soil and then coming back in, leaving a trail of dirty footprints on the kitchen floor, the windowsills and, arguably worst of all, the clean trousers that I put on this morning. To add insult to dirt, they shake like a dog to let me know how it feels to be outside at the moment. 

The good news this week is that my favourite band of all time, the Canadian band Rush, have extended their tour to include Europe and, in particular, Manchester where they will be playing at the brand new Co-op Arena. There will be a post about Rush coming soon (if you are interested) but the great news is that I managed to get a ticket despite the gig being pretty close to being sold out. Such is their popularity that they have added a second date in Manchester. I have to wait until next year but I already know it will be one of the gigs of 2027 for me. 

Let’s dive into a silly Sunday Stealing survey. 

Silly Survey Questions …

1. Did you/will you have coffee or some other form of caffeine today? 

I will have a cup of decaffeinated coffee later today. I stopped drinking caffeine around 2016 after I realized the effect it had on me. My boss asked me to come in early one Friday to fix something and because I succeeded he decided to reward me with several large mugs of what I can only describe as a nuclear caffeine bomb. I have to say that it tasted delightful but a couple of hours later I was so wired that I didn’t know what to do with myself at all. I’ve heard of the phrase “climbing the walls” but I was more like Spider-man; I honestly thought I could walk on the ceiling. I can’t imagine what I was like to talk to. I decided to eliminate caffeine that very day and that includes in tea. 

There are some places where the concept of decaffeinated coffee is as alien as Mork from Ork. A couple of years ago, I went to Amsterdam for a university reunion and at breakfast in a lovely café I asked the waiter for a decaffeinated coffee. He looked at me as if I had just grown a second head and, in a delightful Dutch accent he said “Decaffeinated coffee? We only have NORMAL coffee!” 

I sometimes indulge in coffee made from decaffeinated coffee grounds when I want to treat myself and that brings back memories of decent coffee from my past. 

I have to add finally that while I like coffee, I prefer tea (the decaffeinated variety). 

2. Who did you last have a text conversation with and what was it about? 

It was to my eldest son who was asking for my sister’s phone number so that he can invite her to a big party he is having later this year. 

3. Are there regular trains in and out of your town/city? 

There are hundreds of trains in and out of my city per day. Manchester has two enormous railway stations called Manchester Victoria and Manchester Piccadilly, as well as several smaller ones in the city centre. I can catch a direct train to most other UK major cities from there. For example, trains run to London two or three times and hour and it takes about two hours to travel the 200 miles between the cities. 

The local light railway or trams, called Metrolink, also has a station at each railway station making it easy for most Mancunians to get to the stations from the suburbs and surrounding towns.

4. Have you ever been hospitalised due to dehydration?

I have never been hospitalised. I drink lots of fluids so I rarely get dehydrated. 

5. Someone texts/IMs you just as you’re about to go to sleep. Do you reply? 

It depends on who it is and whether it is urgent. I will ignore it unless it requires my immediate attention. 

6. Do you grind your teeth?  

No – but Mrs PM does. She has woken me up doing it in the past. 

7. When you listen to music with headphones, do you keep the volume low enough to hear surrounding noise, or do you blast it?

It depends on where I am. I have a pair of earbuds and when I am out walking in the morning, I have it on a very low volume so that I can hear what is going on. However, if I am walking on a main road, I usually turn up the volume a little to lessen the impact of the engines of buses, cars and lorries. If ai am in a park I have the volume as low as possible.

On trains, trams and aircraft, I have the volume a little higher to lessen the impact of the engines of the vehicle I am travelling in. 

In a car, I don’t use my earbuds. 

8. Are you wearing nail polish?

Absolutely not. I have never worn it and I never will (unless for some crazy reason I decide to become a rock star or an actor in my old age – and even then I will only do it if I am paid a lot of money to do so). 

9. Do you have an ice maker in your refrigerator door?

No, sadly. I think it would be a useful thing to have. Mrs PM’s dad has one and in the summer it is quite useful. We (or should I say Mrs PM) plan to have a new kitchen in a year or two so we may consider it then. 

10. Do you have a friend named James?

Yes – I have several friends called James. One of my oldest friends, who I met at university, is called James but I haven’t seen him for about twenty years sadly. Closer to home I have an old workmate who I still keep in touch with called James. 

Oddly both of them insist on being called James as opposed to Jim.  I used to work with a guy called Jim and I used to call him “Jimbo” with the emphasis on the “BO”. Why? Because one of the first things he said to me was “Don’t call me Jimbo!”. It’s an unwritten law amongst a lot of blokes that if you react negatively to a name or a nickname then that name will stick. I discovered this to my own cost many years ago and occasionally I have to deal with old friends who still call me a nickname from a few years ago because I objected. 

Word Up!

Welcome to South Manchester where it has been absolutely throwing it down today in a way that is typical of my least favourite season. I can’t wait for winter to be over. 

You may have heard about a royal scandal this week and, of course, it happens to involve Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor, the Andrew formally known as prince. He was arrested this week for allegedly releasing material to Jeffrey Epstein that he shouldn’t have and the picture of him looking totally distraught in the back of a police car has made headlines worldwide. The last time a member of the royal family was arrested was back in the 17th century and that man was King Charles I. While Andrew was in custody, police searched his homes for evidence and while he has been released, it’s not looking good for him. 

The Epstein files are causing a lot of turbulence in the UK at the moment with this arrest and also the former UK Amabassador to the US, Peter Mandelson, has had to resign and give up his peerage. That is another chapter that will be reopened soon, I think. 

It’s little wonder that in America, there is surprise and irritation that more is not being done over there because there will be far more people who will be more than a little concerned. 

Anyway, enough of that. Let’s have some Sunday Stealing silliness. 

Word Association. Share what comes to mind when you hear the word ...

1. Biscuit

Custard Creams

In the UK a biscuit is the equivalent of a US cookie. What Americans call a “Biscuit” is more like what we call a “scone”. 

A custard cream is a variety of English biscuit that I used to love as a child. It is basically two small biscuits with a very sweet light yellow cream in the middle of them. They are still very popular today and I haven’t had one for years. I think the last time was when I used to work because people randomly used to bring in packets of biscuits for others. At home we rarely eat biscuits which is a good thing for my teeth and weight I guess. 

Having said that, I might just treat myself to a packet when I go shopping this week. 

2. Crayon

Wax

I haven’t used a crayon since I was a young child. We used to have wax crayons and use them to either colour pictures in a colouring book or just use them to draw stuff. 

The second thing I thought of was “crayon eaters” and this is a term used to describe people who struggle to think for themselves and just gobble up rubbish that certain politicians tell them no matter how ridiculous it is and support these charlatans no matter what. For example people who love the Orange Goblin in the White House despite the fact that he blatantly lies and is a convicted felon. 

3. Warmth

Cats

My cast, Ziggy and Star(dust), have the uncanny ability to find the warmest spot in the house. It’s usually a human hot water bottle, and they have two to choose from (me and Mrs PM). Star(dust) in particular will lie so close to my leg that Mrs PM says “She has become one with your leg”. 

Both of them do it though as you can see from this picture.

4. Flip

Flop

When I say flip-flop I don’t mean those used in electrical circuits. I am talking about what Australians call “thongs”, which are very uncomfortable rubber sandals that people wear on beaches and in hot climates. 

I hate wearing them because they irritate my toes. I prefer proper sandals. 

Incidentally, in the UK, “thongs” are extremely skimpy swimwear like this. 

And no – I never have and never will ever wear them myself. Mrs PM would never allow it. 

5. Slush

Winter

In Manchester, it rarely snows. We are far more likely to get rain in the winter. However, when we do get snow and it is followed by rain, the settled snow starts to melt and becomes a sopping mess of half melted snow called slush. We have had some this winter actually and I think it is worse than snow because it is wetter. I hate snow but I hate slush more. 

6. Wing

Holidays

You may think that is a bit of a stretch for word association but when I go on holiday I usually fly and on short flights I like to sit by the window and look out over the wing. 

7. Candle

Scent

Mrs PM used to buy (and be given) scented candles as a gift. I think as far as presents go, they are a bit rubbish – just my own personal opinion of course. Granted, they can smell nice when lit, but sometimes the smell is just overpowering. She is less inclined to buy them these days but she does get the odd one as a gift. 

                                                    

8. Cinnamon

Stick

I like cinnamon and Mrs PM uses it sometimes when she is trying new recipes. I don’t think that I have ever used a cinnamon stick personally, because we tend to use ground cinnamon instead. However, the phrase is quite common and I know people who buy cinnamon sticks for cooking. 

Love - With a Capital S

Welcome to a chilly and rainy South Manchester where the dreary temperature of 6°C doesn’t even begin to compete with the 33°C of Malaysia and 24°C of Hong Kong.

Yes – I am back from a two week jaunt to the Far East where we spent ten days in Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur and Penang) and four days in Hong Kong. The jet lag is just about over now but the weather in Manchester will take some time to get used to again. 

Let’s wade gently back into the land of bloggery with some silly questions from Sunday Stealing.  

Things I Love Beginning with S 

1. Spain. 

One of the reasons I started to try to learn Spanish is because I love Spain. 

I first visited the country back in the mid 1980’s when myself and two mates travelled there on Interrail from Paris. We visited San Sebastian in the north, Vigo in the west before heading (via Portugal) to Sevilla, Madrid and Barcelona. Perhaps the first word I learned in Spanish was cerveza (beer). Since then I have been back countless times, visiting most areas of this magnificent land. I’ve also been to the Balearic Islands (Majorca, Ibiza and Menorca) and the Canary Islands (Tenerife, Gran Canaria and Lanzarote). 

We are going back in May to Nerja on the south coast and I am really looking forward to it. My Spanish, although pretty poor, is getting better and I quite enjoy stumbling through sentences when talking to Spanish people. When they speak back though it is a struggle. I soldier on. 

2. Saturday

When I was working, Saturday was the best day of the week because I could have a lie in and enjoy a day that didn’t have work at all (apart form the odd exception of course). Saturday is typically a great day for sport (football, rugby and cricket) and I can relax and have fun. One of my old pals, who retired before I did, told me: “every day is like Saturday, Dave”. And now that I am retired – he’s right – well sort of. 

It is still a special day because Mrs PM still works and it is the best day for us to get together and do something interesting. 

3. Sea

I live on an island and no place here is too far away from the sea. Manchester is 40 to 50 miles away from the nearest coast so if I want I can easily get there. Mrs PM comes from Blackpool which is a big holiday resort on the west coast of England and I get to see the sea whenever we go to visit her parents. 

However, I like to sit watching the sea in sunnier places than north west England (mainly because it can be quite cold here, even in the summer). Whenever we go on a beach holiday I like to just sit there and contemplate life as I listen to the gentle sea or ocean lapping against the beach. It is very mindful and relaxing, especially as the sun goes down.

 4. Star Trek

I am a geek and a lot of the people I used to work with are also geeks. On one trip to Muscat in Oman, I was sitting in the hotel bar with such a person. The conversation was one of the most nerdy that I have ever been involved in. It wouldn’t have been out of place in The Big Bang Theory.

PM: What are you talking about? There is no way that Star Wars is better than Star Trek!

Geek 2: Are you insane? Star Wars is far more successful than Star Trek. People who like Star Trek are weird!

PM: Weird? Bloody hell – weirdness is a sad movie that had Jar Jar Binks in it! 

Geek 2: Okay that was a mistake. But what about Wesley Crusher? And NEELIX! If you think they are great characters you have no taste. Well that’s obvious because you prefer Star Trek.

And so it went on. And I am sure people started staring at us, rolling their eyes and shaking their heads.

And worse, nobody won the argument because secretly we BOTH like Star Wars and Star Trek. 

I’ve loved Star Trek since the original series and, while not everything is good (let me mention Neelix and Wesley Crusher again – I agree with Geek 2 about those two terrible characters), the best bits of Star Trek are far better. 

Star Trek II: The Wrath of Kahn and Star Trek: First Contact are far superior than any Star Wars movie in my opinion. 

Talking of the Big Bang Theory, I love this scene – and yes I know it involve Wil Wheaton (Wesley Crusher) but I have long since forgiven him (mainly because of this scene!):

I have to say that I have never been to a science fiction convention and if I did go, I wouldn’t get dressed up. Nor do I ever plan to learn Klingon:

Qapla’Ha’qu’ ghajbogh wanI’vam.

I can use Google translate!

5. Summer

As I sit here in a rainy city in north west England in the middle of winter, my positive mind is already searching for summer. I had a taste of it in Malaysia and Hong Kong and I can’t wait for May to come along. I live in England so we can’t guarantee that we will have a good summer. I do know, however, that I can and will jet off to Europe to enjoy the warm weather, the sunshine and long days. Last year in the UK we were lucky because we had four or five heatwaves here, which meant that I could enjoy all of those benefits from the comfort of my own home. 

Summer is only a few months away and I can’t wait for it. 

6. Sunday Stealing, of course!

It’s fun and silly!