Comfort Zone

Welcome to a changeable South Manchester where the weather has changed since the highs of last week. It’s not unpleasant but it is a lot cooler and we have had a few rain showers. Apparently, the weather is more typical of early June – so that’s alright then (he says sarcastically). 

Still, there is cricket going on and Wimbledon is due at the end of the month. There is plenty of time for more intense heat or intense rain and thunderstorms before then. 

The World Cup starts this week in Canada, Mexico and The United States and England and Scotland have qualified. It should be interesting and now that I have retired I will be able to become a total couch potato for the duration and watch as many games as I can. It was always a problem when I worked because work completely go in the way. Sadly, because it is across the pond, it means that the games kick off much later and some of them take place in the middle of the night. I may be retired but I won’t be staying up until 4am to watch any matches. I will simply record them and watch them the following morning. Luckily England’s games are at a reasonable time. 

Come on England!

Let’s dive into some odd questions from Sunday Stealing. 

This time they require a little thought. Those are my kind of questions. I love a challenge. 

1. What celebrity would you never want to meet? 

Honestly, there are hundreds of them. For example, there are thousands who are only famous for being on reality TV shows because their egos have told them that they deserve to be famous when the reality is that they have no talent whatsoever. I also wouldn’t want to meet anybody who thinks that he or she is better than me simply because other people know who they are. 

To those people, I just want to say you are NOT better than me at all. In fact, in may ways you are far worse than me. 

So, let me pick a "celebrity" for you. 

Piers Morgan.

This man used to be a tabloid newspaper editor and has since managed to find his way into mainstream television as a presenter, interviewer and all-round pain in the backside. He is controversial and loves to be so just to stoke division and anger people. A lot of people in the UK despise him and when he went to America the whole of the UK breathed a collective sigh of relief. And then the Americans sent him back! Why?

Here’s an example of why I really don’t like him:

I also wanted to mention James Corden but I don’t want to bore you with the list of reasons why I dislike him.

2. What do you label yourself as?

I label myself as bit of a weirdo and a bit of a geek. I tick a lot of the boxes for both. For example:

• I have worn glasses since the age of eight and when I was eighteen I looked like the stereotypical nerd you find in geek-bashing movies.
• I love science fiction and anything weird and wonderful such as superheroes.
• I would probably have fit in quite well as a geek on The Big Bang Theory (though not quite as weird as those guys and definitely not as clever – theoretical physics is extremely difficult to understand). 
• I worked in IT for 40 years and my degree is Computational & Statistical Science).
• I was really good at maths (note the extra “s”) and I am pedantic. 

Of course, I do have some qualities that are not geeky and weird but if I weren’t a little strange I just wouldn’t be me - and I like being me.

3. You can only have one sandwich for the rest of your life. You have every sandwich-making ingredient known to man at your disposal. What sandwich do you make? 

That’s easy. It would be ham and cheese with tomato, lettuce and mayonnaise. It’s a simple sandwich but I love it. 

4. An angel provides you with a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. What's it gonna be?

It would be beer. The problem with beer is that I tend to drink bitter and ales in the winter and lager in the summer so the lifetime supply would have to take that into account. 

5. Have you ever built a snowman?

Yes, I have. I built one when I was a kid and I also built one or two with the help of my two lads when they were young. 

6. If you could ask your future self a question, what would it be?

Can you look up the winning numbers for the Euromillions lottery next week and tell me what they are?

7. Have you ever baked your own birthday cake?

Absolutely not. I have baked a very simple cake with my two kids when they were young. It was so simple that even I could bake it. The kitchen was a total mess but it was fun. 

8. Which are cooler: dinosaurs or dragons?

Dinosaurs are definitely cooler because dragons do not exist. Also, when I was in junior school (that would be aged between 7 and 10) I was obsessed with dinosaurs. At the time, we were asked to write a project over a period of a term about anything we wanted (within reason) and I chose dinosaurs. I have rarely had more fun at school.

I also love movies involving dinosaurs, even the old ones from the 1950’s and 1960’s and I have seen every Jurassic Park movie at the cinema (apart from the last one – I was on holiday at the time). 

9. What do you like about babies?

I recently told Mrs PM that I hate feet – even my own. But babies’ feet are lovely. They are pure and clean and cute. Also, I love it when a baby is just lying there cooing and smiling and giggling. It is such fun to watch them – even better if you can make them giggle yourself. 

10. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. What's the first rule you put in place?

This is smaller in scale to my dream of one day becoming World President and removing every odious person from Planet Earth in a fleet of spaceships whose aim is to find a new world where they can live and not annoy the rest of us. Piers Morgan is the pilot.

So, if I had an island instead, I would banish any odious person from setting foot on it, especially politicians. 

Think of a question you'd like to ask and insert it here.

Imagine that you have a machine that can create any new invention for you based on your description of it. What would you ask the machine to create – and why?

Some Travel Photos - The United Arab Emirates

 

The last time I set foot in the UAE was this year when Mrs PM and I stopped off there both on the way to Malaysia and on the way back from Hong Kong; we had to change aircraft in Abu Dhabi because we were flying with Etihad. In fact, we were lucky on the way back because it was a couple of weeks before the Orange Goblin currently residing in the White House decided to unleash an illegal war on Iran, causing Iran to retaliate by attacking the UAE. The less said about that the better because I could rant mercilessly for hours. 

Anyway, we have actually been to the UAE a couple of times to visit because we have friends who live in Abu Dhabi. I have also stopped off there briefly on the way to Oman with work. 

I have spent almost all of my time in the UAE in Abu Dhabi apart from one day when our friends drove us to Dubai for a day trip. 

Here are some photographs:

A posh hotel in Abu Dhabi

We didn't stay here but we had a lovely brunch

The UAE is largely a teetotal country but it is possible to buy and consume alcohol, especially if you are a tourist. Usually this is restricted to hotels where tourists and expats congregate for a meal and drinks. One of the things that gatherings of tourists can do is meet for Sunday Brunch at one of the hotels and our friends took us to a couple of these. Basically you have a couple of hours where you can eat from a huge buffet with international food and drink as much alcohol as you can as part of the deal. It is not good advice to do this, however, because being drunk is not a good thing and it has been known for taxi drivers to take intoxicated people to the police. It is totally illegal for Muslims to be intoxicated there. 

Our friends have taken us to a couple of these events and they are in extremely opulent hotels like the one pictured above. Here are a couple of pictures of us at Sunday Brunch in another hotel. 

Mrs PM enjoying Brunch

Waiting for a good run at the buffet

Abu Dhabi Skyscrapers

Abu Dhabi has skyscrapers and some fabulous looking buildings. If you have ever watched the Fast and Furious franchise, then you will have seen a couple of these in Furious 7, in one of the more truly ridiculous scenes where somehow Vin Diesel’s character performs an incredible stunt involving three of the above buildings. The Fast and Furious movies really are a ridiculous in scope and craziness of both the stories and the physics-defying stunts performed, but I love them anyway. In case you haven’t seen it, switch off your brain and watch this ridiculous scene. 

And they left Abu Dhabi without anybody arresting them!

Sheik Zayed Grand Mosque

The Sheik Zayed Grand Mosque is a star attraction in Abu Dhabi and is the biggest mosque in the country. It attracts millions of tourists every year and is absolutely beautiful. It welcomes everybody but there are dress codes to respect. I had to wear long trousers and Mrs PM decided to hire an abaya for the visit, which you can do when you get your ticket. I hope the pictures below do it justice. 

A Posh Hotel in Dubai

We also had a lovely evening meal in a posh hotel in Dubai.

Burj Khalifa

I can't believe how tall this building is. I hope I wasn't shaking!!

I still have nightmares about the Burj Khalifa. It is one of the last giant edifices that I ever climbed in order to try to rid myself of my fear of heights. I never used to be scared of heights – it slowly developed since the early 1990’s and now I avoid them completely. However, in a state of gross stupidity, I went to an observation deck on the 124th and 125th floor where looking up was like looking at another skyscraper and I had absolutely no courage at all to look down. There are 163 floors so we weren't anywhere near the top. I was even scared to take the photograph above because not only do I hate climbing tall buildings, I hate seeing them from below. 

Once I was inside the building, I was okay because I can cope with seeing such views a few metres from the windows. The following photo proves that. I was pretending to buy some gold from a vending machine (there is a lot of wealth in the UAE). 

Safe inside! I think I'll buy some gold!

Mrs PM was brave enough to take a photo from the observation deck.

I wasn't brave enough to take this. Thanks Mrs PM.

Tom Cruise is a far braver fellow than me and he managed to do some incredible stunt work outside the building:

He’s absolutely bonkers!! But in the world of AI, I am equally as brave as Tom Cruise and I’ve overcome my fear of heights just for the following picture with my old pal.

Filling in the Blanks

Welcome to a very pleasant South Manchester. I was in Nerja on the south coast of Spain recently and the temperature was a very nice 22°C to 24°C. However, when we returned to Manchester just over a week ago, we were amazed to discover that the temperature was 27°C – and it got even hotter over the next few days, peaking at 32°C on Monday, which is a record for May. Who says global warming doesn’t exist? It has cooled down a little to a pleasant 23°C and I enjoyed watching a cricket match yesterday. 

It’s been a while since I have had the time to answer some silly questions from Sunday Stealing so let’s put that right. 

1. _____ is not the end of the world.

Making mistakes is not the end of the world. 

I speak from experience, here. Over the years I have made hundreds of mistakes and I daresay that I will continue to make them in the future. The one thing that I am certain of is that I usually learn from such mistakes (as the old adage shows). I am also happy to admit it when I do mess up and I wish that certain other people would also do that. 

2. _____ tastes so good!

Cheese tastes so good.

I try not to eat too much cheese but when I do, I always enjoy it. I’ve tried a lot of different types over the years and I enjoy most of them. I am not so keen on things like Stilton but when used in cheese sauce it becomes very acceptable. 

3. Sometimes, putting others first is _____.

Sometimes putting others first is a mistake.

I regard myself as a considerate person and I will always try to help others if I can. The only problem is that some people take advantage of your good nature and I discovered this a lot at work, when helping people who were struggling to the point where I ended up doing their work for them and putting myself behind as a result. I learned that lesson quickly enough. 

4. _____ is breathtaking, really.

Planet Earth is breathtaking really. 

I love this planet that we live on and while it can be inhabited by arses like Trump and Putin, there is so much beauty out there to explore. A glorious sunrise or sunset can actually change my mood for the better. Some of the scenery I have seen on my travels is exquisite, from incredible waterfalls in Iguazu, Brazil and Niagara, Canada to the sweeping fields of Cheshire on a sunny day. 

Sunset over the Aegean Sea

Niagara

Iguazu Falls, Brazil

A view across the Cheshire plains

5. Well, maybe there is _____.

Well, maybe there is a God. 

Or is there? I don’t want to get into the depths of a discussion about whether God exists or not. However, some deeply religious people don’t question it. I like to trust science and scientifically nobody has provided proof of the existence of a supreme divine being. That doesn’t mean that there isn’t any  because we have only scratched the surface when it comes to scientific discovery. 

When I was growing up as a Catholic boy, I was told that God did exist and that I should devote all of my time to worshipping him. I was told that I had a guardian angel. I was told that good was omniscient and that he knew everything about me, including my thoughts. I believed everything the priests preached to me until, well, I started questioning things. 

For example, I asked where heaven and hell are, given that space is infinite. I asked why I needed to confess my sins when God was supposed to know everything that I done already. I asked why the Holy Ghost was a ghost and who he had been when he was alive. And then I asked why the Bible contradicted itself, something I also recently asked a Jehovah’s Witness on my doorstep. 

I have said this before and I will say it again. If God really does exist then all he has to do is appear to me and have a chat with me over a cup of tea. If he did that then I would be the most devoted follower of God on this planet.

6.  This week, my plans include _____ .

This week my plans include going to Keswick in the Lake District with my sister and enjoying a walk in the hills. Of course, I will also eat, sleep and complete all of my daily duties. And, of course I will be at the beck and call of my two furry overlords. 

The Antique

 I was in Liverpool with my eldest lad and I walked past a pub that I used to pop into back in the early 1980’s. Outside there was a sign that said “Established 1898”. 

“I used to go in there when I was a student,” I said with a smile, reminiscing as the memories of fun nights out with friends came flooding back. 

“Oh really? What was it like on opening night?” he asked with a laugh. 

This happens on a fairly regular basis when my two lads decide that I am a walking antique. I've been called a fossil, a dinosaur and a caveman. I have successfully managed to ignore such jibes, adding "It will happen to you one day!".  

Occasionally, sadly, such things catch me unawares and I react. Usually, I am quite happy to be a man in my early 60’s and mostly I ignore my advancing years. In my head I am still that 18 year old lunatic (probably with the brain of a 15 year old if I'm honest). The only thought that pops into my head when confronted by a reminder of my age is “Oh – I remember that” and it is almost always with fondness and causes me to laugh or smile. 

Last weekend I went away for a weekend with some friends all around my age (ranging from 55 to 66) and we had a good time just catching up and enjoying each other’s company. One afternoon, we went to a place in the Cheshire countryside that is basically a family park or village with lots of attractions, such as quirky shops, various country-based activities, restaurants and bars. 

We popped into a shop that advertised itself as an antiques shop. Initially I spotted a few items of furniture, books and an assortment of household items and ornaments that I would have said fitted into the category of “antique”. However, as I strolled further into the store, I noticed that there were a few items described as “collectibles” but originated from my youth; memories came flooding back. I saw old records, toys, magazines, football programmes, games, books and many other items that I was very familiar with. These were things that my parents bought for me or that they had had around the house having bought them back in the 1950’s to the 1980’s or perhaps been given them by my grandparents, which definitely made them antiques. 

I thought to myself – I really am quite old if I remember these things. 

For example, I flicked through several record collections for sale and saw albums that I used to have from the 1970’s or that my parents had bought when they were young (we are talking 1950’s and 1960’s here). I saw a cutlery set where the handles were made of faux bone ivory that I remember eating with as a kid in the late 1970’s. There were old games, Corgi and Dinky model cars that I once had a vast collection of, and lots of old books by people like Enid Blyton that my two sisters and I used to read. 

It was like stepping back in time. 

And then I thought – “Bloody hell! I really am an antique!”

Have you heard of the term “mid-century”? It is used to describe items that span the middle years of the 20th century from the early 1930’s to the end of the 1960’s. I was born in 1962 so, strictly speaking, that makes ME mid-century. I had only heard it mentioned in terms of antiques on shows like “Bargain Hunt” and “Antiques Roadshow”. 

For some reason this struck a chord and when I returned home, I looked up the definition of “antique” and I was pleasantly surprised. To define something as an antique it has to be at least 100 years old. Thank goodness for that, I thought. Things that are over 50 years old are described as “vintage”. This means that I am not antique; I am merely vintage – and also mid-century. 

That’s a relief. 

Back on our Cheshire break, after the trip to the antique shop, we returned to the place we were staying and decided to play some music with our evening meal. For a change we decided to play songs from Spotify that were number 1 in the UK for various milestones. For example, when we were born, when we were 10, 18 and 21. I have to say that when I heard them all, I started to think about being old again. These songs were all over 40 years old, for goodness’ sake and no matter how good they were, it didn’t stop my age from coming back to haunt me, especially after seeing toys, books and games from my youth in the shop claiming to be antique. 

I’m over it now, because I have been happily listening to songs from the 1970’s to the 1990’s since then and my happy memories of times that were up to 50 years ago are still worth cherishing. I am sure that in the future I will be hit by the realisation that I am an old man now. However, it will be a fleeting negative feeling I think because I have friends who are older than me and I love reminiscing about times gone by. They were happy times in a world that was vastly different to the one we are living in now. 

I am proud and happy to be a vintage mid-century man. 

It's What Everybody is Talking About

I get really annoyed with new phrases and catchphrases that seem to have crept into my life in recent years, usually via my television but sometimes via social media, emails and even newspapers. I promised that I wouldn’t rant but I feel I need to get this off my chest because such phrases are now commonplace and that irritates me. 

I’ll give you some examples: 

“It’s what everybody’s talking about.”

No, it is not. It categorically is not. The only person talking about it is the person who is promoting a new TV show. The worst thing about this new TV show is that it is almost certainly a reality TV show full of people who nobody has heard of, making absolute fools of themselves in the hope that they will climb onto the celebrity ladder at rung Z, i.e. right at the bottom. The chances are that these people will be forgotten in a few years’ time. The fact that this TV channel is one of those in the depths of TV hell is beside the point. Usually, the only way you can discover the channel (never mind the programme itself) is when you are desperately looking for something in the nether regions of the channel list because the main channels are full of cookery programmes or those kind of light entertainment programmes that are full of shiny happy people and make me wince whenever I hear the theme music. Of course, it can also apply to upcoming movies and albums too and nobody is talking about those either. 

“The most anticipated album of the year”

Again, in many cases, I have never even heard of the artist concerned. I wouldn’t mind so much if it was perhaps an album by an established musical artist that had taken a sabbatical for a few years and then decided to jump back into the fray. It usually isn’t. It is invariably a singer/songwriter who writes soppy love songs “straight from the heart” and in many cases the album is their debut. Another related phrase is “Soppy McSopface really bares his soul on this album.”

Usually, such commercials are accompanied by a snippet of a single that they haven’t released yet where they are wailing about a lost love while looking as if they are about to burst into tears. It is never a rock artist, a progressive rock artist or anything that isn’t on Radio 1’s playlist. 

It isn’t the most anticipated album of the year. These are the words of the record company who are trying to con us all into buying it. 

“It’s sweeping the nation”

Again, this usually applies to a movie, a film or a book that apparently is so popular that everybody in the nation feels that they have to have it. In most cases, the item concerned can barely sweep my garden path.

“Manchester United are in the ascendency”

This is a football special and it means, I assume, that in the game between Manchester United and some other team, Manchester United are having a period where they are dominating the match. I have a lot of problems with the terminology used by commentators when they are describing the action in such a match because they use phrases that nobody uses outside their commentary box. Other similar overused phrases are “That’s a goal of the season contender”, “We’re at the business end of the season”, “This is why we love the Premier League” and “2-0 is a dangerous lead in the game. The next goal is so important”.

“Your call is important to us”

No, it isn’t. The worst thing about this terrible phrase is that you have just tried calling a bank or some other business and you know for a fact that you will hear this phrase for the next hour repeated between bouts of terrible music. When somebody eventually answers, I am usually so frustrated and angry that all I want to do is scream at the person “WHAT TOOK YOU SO BLOODY LONG?”. Of course, I don’t. I take a deep breath and say “Hi! I’ve got an enquiry for you …” Sometimes they throw in a similar phrase that gets close to pushing me over the edge and that phrase is “This call is being recorded for training purposes”. Honestly, I think that I would rather listen to the phone ringing continually for an hour. 

“My bad”

The worst thing about “My bad” is that I have found myself using it in the past and each time I cringed internally and apologised for it. I picked it up when I was working and I think I have managed to remove it from my vocabulary now.  What it means is “My mistake” or “I’m sorry”. Why can’t people (including me) say that?

 “I’m going to give you 130%”

No, you aren’t because that is absolutely impossible. You can’t even give 100% of yourself really. This is business speak that makes me yell at the TV whenever I hear it on the programmes like “The Apprentice”. Another one from that show is “Let’s SMASH this!”. Invariably the people concerned fail dismally to “SMASH it” and make themselves look lie the incompetent buffoons they are. 

“Rant over!”

Yes – I am struggling to remove this one from my own vocabulary. When I was working I used to moan about things that annoyed me from office politics to TV shows to politics and at the end I would say this. I sometimes still do and I squirm whenever those words leave my mouth. 

Anyway, enough of that. I’m bored with venting my spleen and I think I’ve made my point. 

Rant over. If I have offended anybody then my bad!

Some Travel Photos - Australia

 

In my last post, I mentioned that I have visited a grand total of 41 countries in my life. It all started when I was 20 years old and travelled to Europe with an Interrail ticket which allowed me and my mate to travel around Europe on train. Since then, I have been all over the world and I thought that I would share some photos we took on some of those journeys. 

The first I am going to cover is Australia. 

We travelled there with Mrs PM’s mother who at the time was celebrating her 60th birthday. It was way back in 2005 and England had just beaten Australia in the Ashes. I was hoping to exchange some banter with Australians that I met. I did, of course, and it was all good fun because Australians and British people share the same sense of humour.  

The opening photo above is the sun rising over the Coral Sea  at about 6am. This is one time that jet lag was useful.

Here are a few other boring photos from the trip.

Plastic Mancunian meets Koala

"What kind of creature is this?" asks the koala

There are numerous horrible creatures in Australia and when I arrived there, I was very nervous about meeting any of the spiders, snakes, sharks or crocodiles that live there. However, I didn’t mind meeting a Koala because they look cute and cuddly. 

And they are. 

However, the one I was holding didn’t smell too good (he probably thought the same about me). The above photo was taken in Kuranda National Park in Queensland. 

Plastic Mancunian on a Train

Don't lean out of the window!

In the same place, we took a train ride. It was so hot in Queensland that I needed a hat and I bought the one I am wearing in Port Douglas. I still have that hat today and I still wear it when on holiday. It’s comfortable and washable and can be packed easily. 

Mrs PM in the Coral Sea

A female Mancunian interloper

Mrs PM is very brave, and she wanted to see the Great Barrier Reef. I did some research and when I discovered that there were box jellyfish living there and, worse, an evil little bugger called an irukandji jellyfish, both of which could sting life out of you, I decided to stay above water and just take pictures. For such creatures, the sea is their realm and we don’t belong there. I guess stinging us is their way of saying “go away and leave us alone!” 

Mrs PM didn’t get stung thankfully and she enjoyed her little swim with the wildlife. 

Brisbane

A lovely view of Brisbane

Our trip to Australia began in Port Douglas and Cairns but after that we caught a flight to Brisbane and I remember the flight because we saw a lot of the city from above. Talking of which, here is a great view of the city from Mount Coot-Tha just to the west of Brisbane. 

"In the Navy - you can sail the seven seas ..."

And later we caught an impromptu navy band in the city centre.

Byron Bay 

A white lighthouse

"Go East ..."

After Brisbane we hired a car and spent the next week or so driving the 1000km south to Sydney. Along the way, we stopped at Surfer’s Paradise and visited Byron Bay and the lighthouse on Cape Byron, which is the most easterly point of Australia. 

Sydney

We stayed at a few more places on the way south, such as Coff’s Harbour, Nambucca Heads,  Port Stephens and Pokolbin in the Hunter Valley where we sampled some fine Australian wines. The journey to Sydney took a week or so and we stayed in Darling Harbour and became total tourists. We wandered around the city, visited the zoo and took a boat ride. 

I celebrated my 43rd birthday in Sydney. 

Here are a few photos I took.

A giant coathanger

The same giant coathanger as seen from The Rocks

A place where opera singers ply their trade

I won an Oscar (in my head)

I won an Oscar for my performance on Tuesday 11th October 2005. 

It was the day when I convinced, Mrs PM and a group of stranger that I actually enjoyed climbing the Sydney Harbour Bridge, even though I am terrified of heights. 

You don’t believe me? 

Here I am with Mrs PM at the top of the Sydney Harbour Bridge and I look as though I am as happy as I can possibly be. 

The truth is that I was absolutely screaming with terror inside. Why do you think I am hanging onto Mrs PM for dear life?

A happy Mancunian and her terrified partner

And the Oscar goes to the Plastic Mancunian (thanks to AI).

"I'd like to thank nobody because I'm too terrifed to speak"

More Plastic Factoids

 

Welcome to a typical April day in South Manchester. April has been warm this year but we seem to have returned to normal now with sunny spells and intermittent showers, the so-called “April Showers”. It’s definitely getting warmer though and this means that my favourite season is on its way. 

Let’s dive in with some silly questions from Sunday Stealing. 

1. Are you the sort of person who can nap or sleep anywhere, any time?

Sadly no – unless I am really, really tired. This only usually occurs when I am jet-lagged or have been flying for hours, for example on a trip back from China where the journey took 24 hours. The only other time I have slept like that was when I caught Covid. 

I am envious of Mrs PM because she can sleep anywhere. On our recent trip to Malaysia she fell asleep lots of times to help remove the jet lag, leaving me sitting there like an absolute lemon because I was wide awake. I wouldn’t mind – I don’t even consume caffeine so I don’t know what prevented me from sleeping. Even on the plane, I was possibly the only person awake, apart from the pilot and the stewards/stewardesses. Mrs PM was leaning on my shoulder and looked like she was in absolute sleep heaven. 

Normally I get about 7 to 8 hours sleep a day so I can and do sleep well. I just can’t sleep on demand and jet lag usually messes me up, despite all the advice I’ve received over the years. None of it works. 

2. Have you ever walked in your sleep?

Only when I was a young kid and even then only then once or twice. My dad found me in the bathroom once putting a load of toys into the bathtub. When he switched on the light, he woke me up and I was as surprised as he was. I had no idea why I was there. 

It was a rare occurrence and hasn’t happened to me since then. 

3. Do you chat with your Uber/Lyft/taxi driver?

Yes, sometimes. I don’t usually instigate the chat but occasionally I do. Most of them are quite friendly although I have had the odd one who is bad tempered or just a grumpy old git who wants to vent his spleen. 

4. Do you remember what you did on Valentine's Day?

No. To me Valentine’s Day is a huge con to get people to spend their money. Restaurant prices go up as do the prices of flowers and chocolates. I don’t need “the man” to tell me when to be romantic – I can do that any time. And I am not prepared to sit in a restaurant and pay twice the amount of money for a meal that had much cheaper the week before. 

Sorry for the minor rant there but it annoys me. 

5. How many laptops have you owned over your lifetime?

Probably about four or five. Before that I had desktops. At work, I used to have a new laptop every year or so because the improvement in technology, capacity of disk and memory meant that I could do my job a lot more efficiently because it was cost effective. 

6. How many countries have you visited?

I have visited 41 countries so far in my life. This year I added Malaysia to that list and I will be adding Slovakia and Austria to that list later in the year. There are many more I want to add but whether I will get to all of them is unknown at the moment. Three new countries in a year isn’t too bad though.  

7. Did you/will you go to work today?

HA HA HA! I have retired so the answer is a resounding NO!!!

I love being retired.