The Motto Grotto

Welcome to a dreary and rainy South Manchester. I’ve been busy over the last week going to a gig, evenings out with friends and family and watching cricket so I am quite happy to have a boring Saturday to reset a little. 

And what better way to spice up things with a silly post answering silly questions from Sunday Stealing. 

1. What's your life's motto?

I don’t have one, but by the time I have finished this question I will have created one. I did spot some amusing ones when I looked on the internet for inspiration so I’ll share those with you first:

Don’t give up on your dreams – keep sleeping.

Arrive late. Get there as soon as you want to. 

Be happy. It drives people crazy. 

Age doesn’t matter – unless you are cheese.

Don’t be superstitious. But you can be a little stitious if you like.

Life’s too short to be normal so just stay weird.

Actually, I like that last one, mainly because I am a weirdo myself. I think life mottos are supposed to be uplifting and positive and, generally, I don’t go for these positive affirmations because they make me cringe. Here are some examples:

There is no one better to be than myself.

Today I choose to be confident.

I’m good enough, strong enough, brave enough, capable enough and smart enough.

The world is a great place because I am in it.

I can understand why people love them and why they work, but personally I find them a little condescending and irritating. See what I mean? I’m a weirdo. 

Anyway, I’ve had enough time to come up with my own life motto. Here it is:

Ignore people who don’t want to be your friend. It’s their loss not yours.

Actually, that makes me cringe inwardly too. Here’s another:

Laughter is your best friend. The world is a weird place and there is also something to laugh at, even when times are hard. 

2. Where were you living 13 years ago?

I was living in the same house as I do now. We moved in way back in May 2002. I remember the year because it was the year after the 9/11 attacks (see later). 

3. Is anyone jealous of you?

I seriously doubt it, though I think there are a few of my ex-work colleagues who are envious of the fact that I have retired. When I see them, I usually ask how they are and, invariably, they say “Well work is a little crap at the moment”

To which I reply: “What is this “work” of which you speak?”

They usually reply with an expletive filled sentence. I need to stop making fun of them. 

4. Where were you when you heard about the 9/11 terror attacks?

I was at work and it was in the afternoon UK time. 

I received a text message from a friend who rarely sends text messages, saying “An aeroplane has just hit the World Trade Center”. I mentioned it to my colleagues and we started chatting about it thinking that it was a tragic accident. However, another colleague shouted across “Another plane has hit the other tower”. 

We were shocked and we heard that management had the news on TV upstairs in the office boardroom, so I popped upstairs to see what was happening. We all stood there in shock at the terrible images as we watched events unfold on the BBC. 

I decided to leave work early and drove home to watch the coverage on BBC news only to discover the full extent of the horror. Mrs PM arrived home later and she too was shocked, especially when the two towers collapsed. 

It kind of hit home to me because two years earlier, Mrs PM and I had been to New York for New Year with a couple of friends. We stayed in Tribeca and could see the twin towers from our hotel bedroom. I remember walking down from the hotel to the Financial District and we actually had breakfast in a diner that was very close to the World Trade Center. We were going to go to the top of one of the towers but my fear of heights got the better of me and we didn’t bother. 

I love New York and the whole thing was very upsetting. I thought about all of the commuters we saw in the morning on their way to work and the police and firemen that we saw doing their jobs in the city. 

I remember The Square Diner, a little place in Tribeca where we had breakfast every other day we there, with the free refills of “cwoffee” (I love the New York accent). I remember being in Times Square to witness New Year 1999 in the freezing cold temperatures and then heading to an Irish bar nearby where we stayed until 2am. I remember seeing so many yellow taxi cabs in the wee small hours of the morning as we made our way back to the hotel. 

My heart was with New York and the people of America that day. And it still saddens me when I think about it, especially answering this question.

5. Do you consider yourself kind?

I am quite a kind person I think. I will always try to help friends and family and also people I don’t know if I can. Why wouldn’t you?

6. Can you change your car's oil?

Absolutely not. I can do half the job, which is add oil to the car. But changing the oil means crawling under the car and, I’ve heard, it can be tricky. I’d rather a qualified person at the garage do that. 

7. What's the last thing you heard about your first love?

I have made no effort to find out anything about my first real girlfriend. I was just an eighteen year old kid, getting ready to go to university and she was sixteen. We both lived in Walsall and my parents really liked her, especially my mum who thought that I would end up marrying her. Unfortunately it wasn’t to be and although we were together for a year, the prospect of leaving Walsall made me think deeply about our relationship. We had an argument and in the heat of the moment I ended the relationship, much to my mum’s disappointment. The last time I saw her was about three years later when I had returned from Liverpool for the summer. I bumped into her in a pub in Walsall and we exchanged pleasantries for a couple of minutes. I haven’t seen her since, nor have I tried to find out anything about her. 

8. Have you ever been burned by love?

Oh yes. At university I really liked a girl, who I will call X, and she ripped out my heart. The worst thing about it was that she did so in front of her best friend who kind of helped her to deliver the terrible news that she didn’t want to go out with me at all. I was devastated. 

Then about two years later, I was in a pub in Manchester and I saw a woman who I recognised from somewhere. She was with her boyfriend and, fuelled by a little alcohol, I plucked up the courage to ask her if we had ever met. She told me that she didn’t recognise me at all but then asked a little bit about me in case we perhaps had met before and forgotten. We both discovered that we were both at Liverpool University at the same time as was her boyfriend and we had a good conversation and reminisced about the time. Eventually she said:

“It’s a shame I didn’t know you at university. You’re a nice lad and I think we would have been good mates.”

And at that moment, I suddenly recognised her. And I was filled with horror. It was X’s best friend, the one who had laughed when X tore my heart out and threw it to her hellhounds as a chew toy:

At that point, I made an excuse to leave and we shook hands and I somehow managed to smile as those feelings of rejection resurfaced. 

That was almost four decades ago. Wow – that makes me feel so old. 

9. What was the last thing you paid for with cash?

I went to a horse race meeting at Haydock Park a couple of weeks ago and I paid for my seven bets with cash. I’m not a gambler really but it is fun. I ended up losing just £10, so it wasn’t that bad a day. It could have been worse. 

10. Do you hug your friends?

Yes, generally I do, both male and female. I usually leave it to the other person to choose, especially if they are female.