Saturday 30 November 2019

Fill It In

Last weekend I missed my weekly attempt to answer a few silly questions due to a weekend trip to Edinburgh. It was cold and wet but very enjoyable wandering around trying to decipher the Scottish accent.

Now I’m back and can have a go at this week’s Sunday Stealing questions.

Strange ones this time – but here goes.

1. Right now I'm _____.

Right now I am writing this blog post while waiting for Match of the Day to start and listening to Dangerlust by the Wildhearts. The writing part is kind of obvious, don’t you think?

2. _____ is my well known quirk.

Being a little bit weird is my well-known quirk. For example I am now singing along to Alice Cooper and annoying Mrs PM who is in the lounge trying to watch TV. She has just walked into the room so I thought I would serenade her with the following lyrics:

You can burn my house, You can cut my hair
You can make me wrestle naked with a grizzly bear
You can poison my cat, Baby I don't care
But if you talk in the movies I'll kill you right there

“Stop being weird!” – she has just said those words to me.

3. Are you _____?

Are you as weird as I am? Do you think it’s a good idea to serenade the love of your life with Alice Cooper songs?

4. _____ first, then _____!

A cup of tea first, then I will come to your pointless meeting.

5. That's why _____.

That’s why I need a cup of tea – otherwise I will fall asleep and start snoring.

6. _____ is one of my favourite tv shows ever!

Game of Thrones is one of my favourite TV shows ever!

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to _____, tomorrow my plans include _____

And as for the weekend, tonight I am looking forward to watching Match of the Day in about an hour (it is Saturday night at the moment). Tomorrow my plans include a long walk, some Christmas shopping and possibly Sunday lunch down at the pub with Mrs PM.

8. If I could go anywhere on a road trip, I'd go to _____.

If I could go anywhere on a road trip, I’d go to mainland Europe via the Channel Tunnel and drive through France and around the Iberian Peninsula.

9. _____ is something I don't understand.

The cult of celebrity is something I don’t understand. I mean, for heaven’s sake, why would anybody be interested in the daily lives of talentless rich individuals who have TV programs about their boring existence, yet have an army of fawning fans who hang off their every opinion and somehow believe that there is a point to them? I must ease back before I enter a full-blown rant. All I want to say is that people like the Kardashians for example are awful rich people who don’t care about anything or anybody but themselves.

10. Thanksgiving makes me think of _____

Thanksgiving makes me think of the United States of America because it is something that is only celebrated in that country. Can I just tell any American readers that we do not have Thanksgiving over here in the UK. I have been asked about it several times when visiting America.

11. _____ is the best way to relax!

Listening to music or reading a good book is the best way to relax.

12. It looks like Autumn _____.

It looks like Autumn is now over as the temperature outside now on Saturday night is 0 degrees Centigrade.

13. _____ is one of my favourite healthy snacks.

Flame raisins, Granny Smith apples, plums, nectarines, peaches and oranges are amongst my favourite healthy snacks.

14. The smell of _____ makes me think of _____.

The smell of Chinese food makes me think of the wonderful city of Hong Kong.

15. When I am feeling lazy I _____.

When I am feeling lazy I sit and vegetate in front of the TV for an hour or two.

16. When I look to the left, I see ______________.

When I look to the left I, I see my back garden – although now it is dark outside so I don’t really see anything.

17. ___________ are the room(s) that have the best view in my home.

The back bedroom is the room that has the best view in my home. From there I can see every one of the neighbours’ gardens.

18. _________ was done dirt cheap!

Dirty deeds were done dirt cheap!

19. __________ is a responsibility that all qualified citizens must share.

Saving the planet for future generations is a responsibility that all qualified citizens must share.

20. If you have any __________feel free to share it with me.

If you have any beer feel free to share it with me.


Sunday 17 November 2019

From Facebook

I was considering going for a walk today but looking out of the window and seeing the rain bouncing off the pavement has persuaded me to stay in – at least for a while, giving me the opportunity to answer a few daft questions on Sunday Stealing 

Let’s dive in shall we?

1) What is your favourite TV show (currently)?

I’m going to cheat and name three.

First, The Walking Dead, the ongoing saga of struggling to cope in a post-apocalyptic world full of zombies and nasty human beings.

Second, The Boys, the story of a group of guys fighting back against immoral superheroes. It’s violent and intriguing.

Finally, Star Trek: Discovery, the latest series in the Star Trek franchise. I much prefer Star Trek to Star Wars, much to the disgust of certain geeks who think that everybody should bow down at the feet of the Jedi. I’m looking forward to Star Trek: Picard in 2020 too.

2) Would you like to be a child again?

I would definitely like to be a child but with my brain as it is now. It would be amazing to be reincarnated in the body of an eleven year old with my current experience of life. It would give the opportunity to change certain things and take a slightly different path through life.

3) Has anyone ever told you that school times were the best period of his/her life? Would you say that to someone? Why?

No. I hated school. You may think that is strange given my answer to the previous question, but back then I was a naïve young idiot who over the course of a few years turned into a hormone-ravaged arse before finally sorting myself out.

Don’t get me wrong; my school was arguably the best school in Walsall and it contributed massively to my success at University and my career to date.

However, my own background, the background of the other kids, the drive to academic perfection and the strictness of the teachers all combined to turn me into a sometimes obnoxious rebel who grew to hate authority of any kind.

That’s why I would like to go back there with my mind as it is now.

Boy would I change a few things, I can tell you.

4) How's the weather?

As I stated above, it is raining. We are now in the grip of late Autumn and early Winter so this is due to become the norm for the next couple of months. Christmas aside, I hate this time of year.

5) Do you like camping?

I have only camped once when I was a kid. I didn’t enjoy it.

6) Do you believe in paranormal phenomena?

I had a weird experience as a young man just after my dad died which made me consider paranormal phenomena, but I am not convinced that it was anything other than my own imagination. However, I love the idea of this kind of weirdness so I would like to believe it is true.

7) If you would create a holiday, what would it be called and how would we celebrate it? When would this holiday be?

I would create a day that celebrated all the good and weird things about Britain. It would have to be in the summer months so that we could enjoy the weather – some time in June perhaps.

8) What word(s) do you dislike? Can you tell why?

First, I actually dislike the misuse of the word “like”. The youth of today seem to use it as a comma when speaking or a way of thinking about what they are about to say (if you see what I mean). Here is an example.

Second, I’m not keen on the word “moist” either – or “moisten”.

Third, the word “literally” is often misused as in “I was literally shaking with rage.” What do you mean? You were either shaking with rage or you weren’t.

I also cringe when Americans mispronounce English words (I’m so sorry American readers). I find myself correcting them when I watch American TV programmes.

American Actor on the TV: Do the math

PM: It’s maths! MATHS! PLURAL!!!

Mrs PM: For heaven’s sake, STOP CORRECTING THEM!

American Actor on TV: It’s made of aluminum.


Mrs PM: I am going to punch you if you don’t shut up.

British Actor on an American Show: It’s scheduled for Fall.

PM: You’re BRITISH!! Say Autumn! AUTUMN!!!

Mrs PM: I warned you.


9) What colour do you dislike? What do you associate with it?

I am not fond of pink at all. I don’t really know why to be honest.

10) Do you believe in otherworldly creatures, eg. ghosts, etc?

See my answer to (6). I think I once saw a ghost – but then again I am not sure. Nevertheless I would love otherworldly creatures to exist. In the words of Fox Mulder: "I Want to Believe".

11) Pick two of your favourite fictional characters. Where are they from (what movie, book, etc?) and why are they your favourite?

I’m going to pick characters from TV shows I think.

First, sorry for the geekiness but I like Worf from Star Trek. He is an honourable warrior with no fear and an all-round good guy. I wouldn’t cross him.

On the other side of the coin, there is Negan, one of the bad guys from The Walking Dead. He is evil, but funny with it. In the interests of good taste, here are some of his less offensive quotes.

12) If you could change anything or add anything to your body would you? (this can be interpreted however, but, think, would you like to have fins or extra hands?)

I would like wings as well as the ability to fly fast. Think of the petrol I would save getting too and from work.

13) What are some family traditions you have/had growing up? Do you still continue them, if yes, why, if no, why not?

The only traditions I can think of are those that surround Christmas. We usually go to the pub on Christmas Eve for a couple of beers and then spend the next two days with family eating and drinking far too much while falling asleep at various points due to over-indulgence.

14) What do you think of tattoos? Do you have any?

I hate tattoos and I would never have one.

15)  What is the most disgusting habit some people have?

Picking you nose, spitting and eating with your mouth open are pretty disgusting.

16)  If you could bring back one TV show that was cancelled, which would it be?

Babylon 5. I loved that show. It was better even than Star Trek.

17) What was the most unsettling film you have ever seen?

The Exorcist. At the time I saw it, I was 19 and, although I had stopped going to church three years earlier, the doctrines of the Catholic church were still prominent in my mind. I was considering my relationship with the big fellow in Heaven when I sat down to watch this in a university film club. The idea was that we watch the movie and then talk about it afterwards.

At the end of the film I was terrified and the only reason I stayed to discuss it was that it was dark outside and I was too scared to walk about three hundred yards back to my Hall of Residence alone. I didn’t sleep all night.

I have never watched it since.

18) What book has impacted you the most?

No book springs to mind if I’m honest. In the world of non-fiction I’ve read a few self help books over the years and adopted a few of their techniques, but generally I find a lot of what they say is common sense when you think about it.

19) You're on Death Row and get one final meal: What is that meal and why do you choose it?

I would probably order something that took days to cook.

20) What is the first profession you remember wanting to become as a child?

For some bizarre reason, I wanted to be a fireman. I have no idea why.

Oh – and I also wanted to be an actor – and to be perfectly honest, part of me still wants to do that. I would love to star in a major film (even though that would probably be quite scary for me).