From Facebook

I was considering going for a walk today but looking out of the window and seeing the rain bouncing off the pavement has persuaded me to stay in – at least for a while, giving me the opportunity to answer a few daft questions on Sunday Stealing 

Let’s dive in shall we?

1) What is your favourite TV show (currently)?

I’m going to cheat and name three.

First, The Walking Dead, the ongoing saga of struggling to cope in a post-apocalyptic world full of zombies and nasty human beings.

Second, The Boys, the story of a group of guys fighting back against immoral superheroes. It’s violent and intriguing.

Finally, Star Trek: Discovery, the latest series in the Star Trek franchise. I much prefer Star Trek to Star Wars, much to the disgust of certain geeks who think that everybody should bow down at the feet of the Jedi. I’m looking forward to Star Trek: Picard in 2020 too.

2) Would you like to be a child again?

I would definitely like to be a child but with my brain as it is now. It would be amazing to be reincarnated in the body of an eleven year old with my current experience of life. It would give the opportunity to change certain things and take a slightly different path through life.

3) Has anyone ever told you that school times were the best period of his/her life? Would you say that to someone? Why?

No. I hated school. You may think that is strange given my answer to the previous question, but back then I was a naïve young idiot who over the course of a few years turned into a hormone-ravaged arse before finally sorting myself out.

Don’t get me wrong; my school was arguably the best school in Walsall and it contributed massively to my success at University and my career to date.

However, my own background, the background of the other kids, the drive to academic perfection and the strictness of the teachers all combined to turn me into a sometimes obnoxious rebel who grew to hate authority of any kind.

That’s why I would like to go back there with my mind as it is now.

Boy would I change a few things, I can tell you.

4) How's the weather?

As I stated above, it is raining. We are now in the grip of late Autumn and early Winter so this is due to become the norm for the next couple of months. Christmas aside, I hate this time of year.

5) Do you like camping?

I have only camped once when I was a kid. I didn’t enjoy it.

6) Do you believe in paranormal phenomena?

I had a weird experience as a young man just after my dad died which made me consider paranormal phenomena, but I am not convinced that it was anything other than my own imagination. However, I love the idea of this kind of weirdness so I would like to believe it is true.

7) If you would create a holiday, what would it be called and how would we celebrate it? When would this holiday be?

I would create a day that celebrated all the good and weird things about Britain. It would have to be in the summer months so that we could enjoy the weather – some time in June perhaps.

8) What word(s) do you dislike? Can you tell why?

First, I actually dislike the misuse of the word “like”. The youth of today seem to use it as a comma when speaking or a way of thinking about what they are about to say (if you see what I mean). Here is an example.

Second, I’m not keen on the word “moist” either – or “moisten”.

Third, the word “literally” is often misused as in “I was literally shaking with rage.” What do you mean? You were either shaking with rage or you weren’t.

I also cringe when Americans mispronounce English words (I’m so sorry American readers). I find myself correcting them when I watch American TV programmes.

American Actor on the TV: Do the math

PM: It’s maths! MATHS! PLURAL!!!

Mrs PM: For heaven’s sake, STOP CORRECTING THEM!

American Actor on TV: It’s made of aluminum.

PM: ALUMINIUM!!! Not ALUMINUM!

Mrs PM: I am going to punch you if you don’t shut up.

British Actor on an American Show: It’s scheduled for Fall.

PM: You’re BRITISH!! Say Autumn! AUTUMN!!!

Mrs PM: I warned you.

PM: OUCH!!

9) What colour do you dislike? What do you associate with it?

I am not fond of pink at all. I don’t really know why to be honest.

10) Do you believe in otherworldly creatures, eg. ghosts, etc?

See my answer to (6). I think I once saw a ghost – but then again I am not sure. Nevertheless I would love otherworldly creatures to exist. In the words of Fox Mulder: "I Want to Believe".

11) Pick two of your favourite fictional characters. Where are they from (what movie, book, etc?) and why are they your favourite?

I’m going to pick characters from TV shows I think.

First, sorry for the geekiness but I like Worf from Star Trek. He is an honourable warrior with no fear and an all-round good guy. I wouldn’t cross him.

On the other side of the coin, there is Negan, one of the bad guys from The Walking Dead. He is evil, but funny with it. In the interests of good taste, here are some of his less offensive quotes.

12) If you could change anything or add anything to your body would you? (this can be interpreted however, but, think, would you like to have fins or extra hands?)

I would like wings as well as the ability to fly fast. Think of the petrol I would save getting too and from work.

13) What are some family traditions you have/had growing up? Do you still continue them, if yes, why, if no, why not?

The only traditions I can think of are those that surround Christmas. We usually go to the pub on Christmas Eve for a couple of beers and then spend the next two days with family eating and drinking far too much while falling asleep at various points due to over-indulgence.

14) What do you think of tattoos? Do you have any?

I hate tattoos and I would never have one.

15)  What is the most disgusting habit some people have?

Picking you nose, spitting and eating with your mouth open are pretty disgusting.

16)  If you could bring back one TV show that was cancelled, which would it be?

Babylon 5. I loved that show. It was better even than Star Trek.

17) What was the most unsettling film you have ever seen?

The Exorcist. At the time I saw it, I was 19 and, although I had stopped going to church three years earlier, the doctrines of the Catholic church were still prominent in my mind. I was considering my relationship with the big fellow in Heaven when I sat down to watch this in a university film club. The idea was that we watch the movie and then talk about it afterwards.

At the end of the film I was terrified and the only reason I stayed to discuss it was that it was dark outside and I was too scared to walk about three hundred yards back to my Hall of Residence alone. I didn’t sleep all night.

I have never watched it since.

18) What book has impacted you the most?

No book springs to mind if I’m honest. In the world of non-fiction I’ve read a few self help books over the years and adopted a few of their techniques, but generally I find a lot of what they say is common sense when you think about it.

19) You're on Death Row and get one final meal: What is that meal and why do you choose it?

I would probably order something that took days to cook.

20) What is the first profession you remember wanting to become as a child?

For some bizarre reason, I wanted to be a fireman. I have no idea why.

Oh – and I also wanted to be an actor – and to be perfectly honest, part of me still wants to do that. I would love to star in a major film (even though that would probably be quite scary for me).