Liar!

Right – I’ve just written a post about Donald Trump but a recent tweet by the orange lunatic has prompted me to write yet another one. I don’t want to dedicate more posts to him but I feel I have to in this case.

I just want to tell America that Donald Trump is a liar and you should not believe a single word that comes out of his mouth or any word he throws into cyberspace via Twitter.

Here is the tweet that has forced me to rant about Trump AGAIN:

Not content with telling lies about his own country, he is now telling blatant lies about mine!

How fucking dare you! 

Let’s analyse this tweet.

Yes, crime as risen by 13% in the UK, something I am sure our government aren’t proud of. I would like to write a separate post about the reasons for that – cuts to the police force by our own incompetent ruling party if you’re interested - but I won’t because of the words of the moron in the White House.

The police have indicated that they recorded 5.2 million offences last year the bulk of which were NOT associated with terrorism. Can you read that Mr Trump? I will write it again.

"THE BULK OF WHICH WERE NOT ASSOCIATED WITH TERRORISM!"

Can you understand that, Mr Trump?

Most of the crimes committed were the usual things; public order offences, robbery, possession of weapons, stalking and harassment.

And here’s another statistic for you. There were 664 murders in England and Wales and only 35 of those were caused by the terror attacks in London and Manchester.

Donald Trump is a liar.

How dare he abuse a headline like this to fuel the fear of extreme radical Islamic terror.

And I had to laugh at the end of this tweet:  “We must keep America safe”.

Can I tell you how to keep America safe, you orange buffoon?

Get rid of your bloody guns!

Here are some facts that perhaps Donald Trump should worry himself about.

America is not safe and it is not due to radical Islamic terrorism.

One white non-Islamic man opened fire on a concert on October 1st of this year and killed 58 people, injuring 546. 

One man!

And that’s not the whole story. The statistics about gun crime in America make very uncomfortable reading. For example from 1st January 2015 to 2nd December 2015, there were 355 mass shootings in America. That’s 335 mass shootings in 336 days – more than one a day.

And this statistic applies every year. If you don’t believe me, take a look for yourself.

What Trump needs to do is focus on his own country’s problems by facing up to the NRA and actually doing something, instead of abusing statistics about other countries in an attempt to brainwash gullible supporters into turning against Islam with pure lies.

I’m sure many Americans stumble on this blog and I welcome them with open arms. I love America and every time I have been there I have had a great time. 

Nevertheless, I despise your current President and I suspect (hope) most of you are the same. For those who don't hate him, I implore you to ignore the blatant lies he tells in public with no shame, particularly those about other countries.

Please check the facts and don’t take the random ravings of this lunatic as gospel. 

Donald Trump is lying just to brainwash Americans into following his own deranged agenda.

The only fake news we see at the moment comes from Donald Trump’s twitter account. Every single time he opens his big mouth in public his words are lies and bullshit.

Please ignore him and do your own research. 

You know it makes sense.

In return I shall try not to post any more about Trump. 

I feel sick about this already.

Really Stupid People

It’s been a while since I did a little research on the internet so I thought I would fill that gap. It wasn’t long before I once again  drifted off at a tangent, having stumbled on a few items that highlighted just how stupid some people can be.

As I trawled through page after page of examples of idiocy, my mind boggled at how these people actually manage to get out of bed and leave the house on the morning.

Here are some examples from the usual sources; Facebook, Twitter, Yahoo and a few other places. Who is the dumbest out of the following group of muppets?

The person who asked if he could pay for things bought on the internet by putting their credit card in the DVD drive.

The person who started an ill-fated campaign to get “Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers” banned because he thought it was disrespectful to the memory of 911.

The person who thought that “Titanic” was just a movie and not based on a real event.

The President who thought that Africa was a country.

The person who thought that “#” was invented just for Twitter.

The person who thought that Mount Rushmore was a natural rock formation.

Carved by Mother Nature herself!!

The Presidential running mate who thought that Africa was a country.

The person who thinks that it takes 18 months for twins to be born.

The person who thinks Kanye West is brilliant for introducing us all to a new artist: Sir Paul McCartney.

The person who thinks there are only seven countries in the world: Asia, Africa, Antarctica, Australia, North America, South America and Europe.

The person who thinks that it is stupid to have a button in the lift for the floor he is on.

The person who thinks that it is dangerous to look at a picture of the sun.

DO NOT LOOK AT THIS PICTURE! IT IS DANGEROUS FOR YOUR EYES!

The person who thinks they have no toilet paper in Canada.

The person who thinks it never rains in Australia since “the rain falls into space because it is at the bottom of the world”.

The person who asked “What is Obama’s last name?”

The British person who thinks “Barraco Barner” is the British President.

"My name is Obama Barraco Barner! And I am taking over your country!"

The person who thinks that England and Ireland are the same country and therefore can’t play each other at sport.

The person who asked “Who was the first person to walk on the sun”?

The person who thinks that Christian Bale must be Christian because his name is Christian.

The person who thought that planet Earth was 2014 years old in the year 2014.

The person who thinks that the huge tower in Paris is called the “Ifold” Tower.

The Republican Party candidate who thinks we need Global Warming to combat the freezing snow in New York.

The person who doesn’t know where the North Pole is.

The person who thinks that it hurts to be cremated.

The people in a town in North Carolina who rejected a solar panel farm project because they thought that the panels would “suck up all the energy from the sun”.

So who do you think is the most stupid, dear reader?

Smart Conversation

The art of conversation is slowly dying.

The only people who are currently keeping it active are those above a certain age, like me, who like to have a good old fashioned conversation (or a “chinwag”) with one or more people in pleasant surroundings such as a restaurant, pub of coffee shop.

However, there are a certain group of people (to whom I shall refer as the youth of today) who prefer other means of communication.

I am referring to the smartphone.

Actually, it’s not just the youth of today – some people my age are equally guilty of this crime against humanity.

Picture the scene:

Mrs PM and I walk into a pub and approach the bar. After ordering our drinks we find a seat and chat to each other about our day at work, next year’s holiday plans, what a great guy I am and how lucky she is to have me – you know the kind of thing.

On the table next to us are three people all with drinks who obviously know each other. None of them are talking to each other. Instead, each one of them has a smartphone in their hand and each one of them is doing something like:

(1) Surfing the internet looking at crazy You Tube videos

(2) Posting their status in Facebook (“I’m having a great time with Kate and Paul in The Blue Hippo and am just about to quaff a pint of Old Skunkwarbler”)

(3) Posting their status on Twitter (“Drnkng Old Skunkwarbler with m8s in pub – LOL - #Drunkasskunk)

(4) Texting other friends who aren’t there (“CU L8er @BlueHippo – wot’s ur eta?”)

We sat there watching them and nobody spoke until one of them ran out of beer and asked whose round it was.

A more extreme case occurred in my own house. I was with Mrs PM, my son and his girlfriend. Mrs PM and I were watching TV and the kids were busy typing on their phones. Suddenly, my lad’s phone chirped – he had received a text message. That text message was from his girlfriend who was sitting a yard away and had texted him asking for a drink.

We like his girlfriend a lot and I have told her that she can help herself to anything in my house (apart from my beer of course!) – and usually she does.

Even my lad was surprised.

He turned to her and said “Get your own drink!”

“What?” I said incredulously. “Have you just texted him to ask for a drink?”

“Yes,” she confessed.

As you can imagine, my soapbox came out and I started ranting about how smartphones are turning people into robotic ignoramuses and that the logical evolutionary conclusion will be that people eventually forget how to speak, only able to communicate with grunts and superfast typing on their devices with their oversized thumbs.

“Ignore him,” said my lad as he got up to fulfil his girlfriend’s request. “He’s old!”

“Don’t tell me you’re actually going to get her a drink?” I said.

“Shut up!” shouted Mrs PM, bringing my rant to an abrupt end. My lad and his girlfriend just laughed (as they usually do).

I have now banned the use of phones when I am out with Mrs PM and my immediate family and their girlfriends unless they receive an important text or a phone call.

Actually, that’s another thing. People these days communicate by text instead of ringing each other up. If you want to have a serious chat with somebody or arrange something you cannot do it with a text that is written in the stupid abbreviated slangy language, known as text speak.

You can achieve so much in a five minute conversation. If you text to each other it takes hours to do this, and in my case most of that time is taken trying to decipher the idiotic language that’s used.

Does the following really make sense?

OMG RUOK? UR BF is a dick IYKWIM! TIME! TTYL! HAK! Kate

What this means is

“Oh my God! Are you OK? Your boyfriend is a dick, if you know what I mean. There are tears in my eyes. Talk to you later. Hugs and kisses. Kate.”

Actually, she won’t “talk to you later” because she will send you a tweet, post you a message on Facebook or text you.

Don’t get me wrong; I am a technophile who LOVES my smartphone. The difference between me and the youth of today is that I use my phone for learning Spanish, navigating, receiving emails, reading, taking photos, checking the weather, measuring my walking distance and speed, organising my calendar, watching TV via Google Chromecast, converting currencies, translating from English to other languages and vice versa, checking the time, storing useful information, brain training, simulating a torch, reading the news, posting photos on Instagram, checking the names of actors in films, learning other subjects, identifying songs, checking the latest gigs, recording voice notes and looking at You Tube videos.

I hasten to add that I only do this when I am on my own and not when I am in the company of one or more people.

I use my phone in a pub, for example, when Mrs PM has gone to the toilet and I am on my own waiting for her to return. If I am with several people, my phone stays in my pocket.

And that’s the way it should be.

I don’t want the art of conversation to die. While social media has revolutionised communication, it should not be used to communicate with people who are in the same room as you.

People need to talk to each other.

It’s ridiculous.

Anyway, rant over.

I’ve got to go. Mrs PM has just texted me to tell me to start cooking dinner because her favourite television programme is on.

Bloody smartphones!!!

Tweet Tweet

I am about to go to the toilet. It may not be pleasant. More details later.

I can imagine that the previous three sentences filled you with revulsion and disgust. I have got a point – honestly (and it does not involve graphic details of my toilet habits). My point can be summed up in one word:

Twitter

I have been reading a few blogs recently and have noticed that more and more bloggers are asking me to follow them on Twitter. I’ve had a quick look at the Twitter web site and it basically says:

Answer this simple question – What are you doing?

The opening line to this post tried to illustrate how I thought this whole Twitter thing worked. I’ve seen something similar on Facebook where you can leave a status of sorts stuff like:

Fred is skinning a dead fish

Bill is up to his eyeballs in dog poo

Linda has just dumped Greg but don’t tell him.

So what’s the difference between your Facebook status and Twittering? To be honest, I don’t know. I never bother filling in my Facebook status simply because I don’t want my friends to become comatose reading about my mundane and tedious life. Can you imagine it?

Dave is having a one way conversation with the cats about who scratched the door.

Dave is beginning to regret having chicken madras last night.

Dave has hay fever and it is totally unpleasant.

Dave is at work, cursing, spitting and drinking copious amounts of tea.

Actually to be fair, my life isn’t that humdrum; I do occasionally wander out into the wide world and slap it in the face (or usually get slapped instead), so there may be a remote chance that somebody might be vaguely interesting in some bits of my existence. I doubt it though.

So now I have a dilemma. Should I get onto this Twitter thing and spend my whole day updating it? I can see one use for it – that’s to promote this blog – but is that enough to make it worth my while?

I must admit I’m intrigued to find out what famous people are doing. For example, I know that Stephen Fry is a huge fan of Twitter and does it all the time. I wonder whether it is worth enrolling. I enjoy writing drivel here, so I wouldn’t want to make it a substitute for this blog. But I guess it could have its advantages.

So, can I ask anybody out there whether it is worth me doing it? Do you “tweet” and if so, why? And does it help to fulfil your life?

I’m genuinely interested, particularly after the recent events in Iran, where Twitter seems to have come into its own.

By the way – my first tweet, if I go for it, will be a report on my first paragraph. That should scare people away.