Ask The Plastic Mancunian

I have decided to write a dangerous and experimental post.

I want you, dear reader, to ask me any question (courtesy of a comment) and I will do my best to answer it in my next post.

Think of it as a living meme – though I would rather you didn’t ask me a meme-style question like “What’s your favourite colour?”

This idea is being shamelessly stolen from fellow Manchester blogger Mind of Mine who did something similar (by the way MoM, if you are reading this I wasn’t at all offended by your answer to my question). Other bloggers have done the same.

Your first question might be “Why is that a dangerous thing to do?”

Here's why ...

(1) You might think “Why on earth would I want to ask you anything at all you stupid arse?” and totally ignore the post.

(2) You might actually know me and ask me a deeply personal question, the answer to which may come back to haunt me for years to come.

(3) You might be a troll and hurl all manner of nasty abuse from behind the safety of your anonymous façade.

(4) I may offend you with the answer.

Deep down, I hope I don’t get any questions – that way I don’t have to answer any questions. I shall simply consider it a failed experiment and move on.

If you do know me, and post anonymously, I shall probably work out who you are from the nature of the question – so be warned – I have embarrassing stories about most people I know.

If you are a troll, then your question will be ignored – though I may make an example of you.

If I offend you with my answer, I apologise in advance.

Apart from that, I shall try to answer truthfully and honestly in my next post, providing I get enough interesting questions.

Of course, if I don’t get ANY questions I will seek solace in a pint of beer and thank my lucky stars that the experiment failed miserably.

It's up to you, dear reader ...

The 14 Question Meme

Another Sunday, another theft.

Here is The 14 Question Meme from Sunday Stealing .

1. What do you consider your hometown to be?

I was born in Walsall but I have lived in Manchester since 1984. It’s a wrench but I have to say that Manchester wins the accolade. Sadly, I still support Walsall football team which is painful. They are currently the strongest team in League One, firmly entrenched at the bottom and holding the entire table up.

And we couldn’t even beat Fleetwood Town in the F.A. Cup yesterday, drawing 1-1 instead. I am dreading the replay.

2. What’s the hardest part of your average day?

On a weekday it is getting up knowing that I have to spend hours at work yelling and computers and chipping away at the absurdity of corporate life. I am Reginald Perrin.

3. The easiest? Why?

The easiest part of the day is, of course, leaving the office. Unlike some people I switch off entirely and drive home with loud music blasting the frustration out of my poor brain.

Why? That’s easy. My stress in instantaneously annihilated.

4. What beverage do you reach for to quench your thirst?

If I’m honest I would say beer, but that doesn’t work at 9am. So I will say a decent strong cup of English tea.

5. What is one not-so-secret goal you have for your life? I’ll let you keep your secret ones to yourself.

I’ve made no secret of my goal to quit my job and become a writer. Realistically it is almost certainly not easily achievable unless something radically changes.


6. What physical pain do you fear most? For example, I’m trying to decide how bad my jaw pain needs to get before I risk a potential needle from my dentist. So, for me, throbbing is preferable to jabbing.

I fear any physical pain, including the dentist. However, I can cope with all that the tooth butcher decides to hurl in my direction, as long as he has applied copious amounts of local anaesthetic. I wouldn’t want him to extract my teeth with just a lump hammer for example.

If you want to push me to be more specific, I guess that I fear breaking a bone. I have never even come close to that pain and those who have inform me that it is very nasty indeed.

7. Where do you find solace?

Wherever solace is hiding, as long as it leaves clues to its location.

Seriously, I find solace with Mrs PM and heavy metal – though she hates me playing loud rock music when she wants to be romantic.

8. What makes you the saddest when you read/see the news?

You mean apart from Walsall losing yet another football match? I’m sad that there are people in the world whose sole purpose is to harm other people.

9. What do you eat for a favorite snack?

Cat food.

Not really – I answered this one last week. Cheese on toast.

10. What movie could you/would you watch more than two or three times and still enjoy just as much as the first time?

Anything with Laurel and Hardy in it.

11. What boy/girl first made you cry?

I would guess that it was my sister. One of my first memories was playing my favourite little toy robot. It was great; it walked along saying “Crush: Kill; Destroy” and fired a gun from its ample chest. My sister wanted to play with it and I told her, in no uncertain terms, where to go. She picked it up and threw it against the wall, crushing it, killing it and destroying it in one violent action.

I cried. And then I made her cry.

I was four years old.

12. What brand of coffee/tea do you drink most often?

I usually drink P.G.Tips or Tetley tea. I rarely drink coffee but if I must it is usually Nescafe.

13. Dig in the dirt with or without garden gloves?

I would normally use a spade, fork or trowel.

14. James Taylor or Carly Simon?

Carly Simon – “You’re So Vain” is a nice song.