Heal My Spirit

I need help to understand something and I am hoping that there is somebody out there in Blogland who may be able to assist me.

I have come across a pamphlet and it has confused me. When I started reading it, my first reaction was:

“WHAT THE PHARK?”

Shortly after that, I started laughing.

And then I started thinking.

And now I am confused.

The pamphlet is a newsletter (I’m not going to tell you the source) that I initially thought was a joke. The problem is it is so well written that I believe it to be serious and, worse, after some research with my old friend Mr Google, it seems that people actually subscribe to the contents.

Before I go on, I am very sceptical about anything that is vaguely supernatural, even though I love that kind of stuff. I love the concept that we might be being manipulated by the stars, that the dead are watching over us and that there are beings out there that influence our lives.

The problem is, although I love the concept, I don’t believe a bloody word of it.

Regular readers might recall how I have mocked astrology and fortune telling in the past. It’s great if you believe that stuff, but I don’t and I apologise to any readers who aren't a grumpy old cynic like me.

Anyway, the pamphlet describes workshops, events and other therapeutic aids to helping the average person, like me, to achieve a higher level of spiritual fulfilment and heal myself.

Here are the items that made me swear, then laugh, then think:

Angelic Mediation

On paper this doesn’t sound so bad; I can understand how meditation can help. I have actually tried to meditate myself, when faced with the prospect of doing something that terrifies me, like public speaking. The night before I have to spend a week presenting a course, I lay in bed and allowed myself to drift away from my fear, on a journey through my imagination. And it worked.

In this case, however, the idea is to “connect with angelic light beings” and “receive healing messages from your guardian angel”.

Is that nonsense? I’m sorry, but I think it is. While I love the idea that I may have a guardian angel, my life experience tells me that I don’t. How could a guardian angel stand by and let me embarrass myself, allow me to make stupid decisions and not intervene when the shit hits the fan?

Laughter Club

I love a good laugh. I look in the mirror every morning and laugh at the image that stares back at me before I put on my specs and realise that it is me.

Laughter can be something that is therapeutic. When times are tough we embark upon “gallows humour”, laughing in the face of adversity, giggling at the bad fates that make our life hell. But you need something to laugh at.

I cannot for a second imagine that forcing yourself to laugh with a group of people is either possible or good for you. Anybody can force laugher, but it is only therapeutic if there is something genuinely funny to laugh at.

I personally would laugh at the people in laughter club because I think that their merriment is forced and therefore not genuine. If you want to laugh, switch on the telly and turn to the Comedy Channel.

Am I just being cynical?

Channel Archangels

I thought this was a TV channel servicing the bosses of your guardian angel. It’s not. Instead you will be taught how to converse with archangels.

Being brought up as a Catholic, I was always scared of the concept of archangels because these were the guys who had swords and slayed evil – God’s henchmen if you like. Gabriel is the most famous and he is the being who will be responsible for blowing a horn to indicate the end of time, the resurrection of everybody and Judgement Day – a pretty big thing to be responsible for if you ask me.

Would I want to converse with Gabriel? I don’t think so – I’d be pretty scared.

And I certainly wouldn’t get any spiritual fulfilment when confronted by a sword wielding archangel who would be responsible for raising me from the dead to face the wrath of God on Judgement Day.

Aura Photography

A rather strange woman once told me that she could see my aura. And while I was amused, I was a little frustrated that I couldn’t see hers. Apparently we all have an aura and some people can see them, others can’t.

And because I can’t, I am cynical about their existence. It’s like people who claim they can talk to the dead – because the vast majority of people cannot have a conversation with their ancestors, so-called mediums, in my opinion, exploit those who are desperate to contact loved ones who have passed over.

This annoys me immensely.

Aura photography is similar. Apparently you meet a man who takes your photograph and provides a two page document that contains an “intuitive interpretation of your aura” and your current location on your spiritual journey.

All for the price of £25.

Am I missing something here?

Past Life Therapy

We all have hangovers from previous lives apparently, where we made a commitment in a previous existence that still binds us in this life. Past life therapy is an attempt to free us of these obligations and allow us to live our current lives spiritually free of the past.

Again, I am fascinated with the concept that I might have been a Roman soldier or a great scientist. In reality, if there is any truth in this idea, then I was probably killed by being thrown from a cliff while covered in spiders and speaking to a crowd about the dangers of tarantulas, which may explain my fear of heights, my fear of public speaking and my arachnophobia.

Or it could be utter nonsense.

Over To You

I know that some readers may believe that the above examples of spiritual health therapy actually do have substance and really, I would like to understand why you believe that.

I am guilty of being a cynic, mainly due to my scientific background, which has led me to seek proof before I believe anything. The basis for scientific research is that unless it is proven fact it is still theory.

So do auras really exist? And can they be photographed? And what colour is yours? Are you, like me, still in the starting blocks, spiritually?


Have we all been reincarnated and led past lives? Were you a Roman soldier too? Did we serve in the same legion? Did you know General Maximus Decimus Meridius? 


Does your guardian angel protect you or do you, like me, stumble through life while your guardian angel tells his laughter group about your exploits?


Have you met an archangel? Was it Gabriel and did he give you any hint about when he was going to blow his horn?

To any readers who take this seriously, I apologise for my flippancy and with my hand on my heart, I am genuinely interested.

If you can convince me to have my aura photographed, I might just do it and let you know whether I am truly a spiritual amoeba.