Assorted Pens

Welcome to a bright, sunny and cold January day in South Manchester. 

We had a bit of a battering from two named storms this week that caused a bit of damage in various places in the UK, the wind taking down roofs and trees while certain places were flooded. Things seem to have calmed down now, thank goodness. 

Best of all, the worst month of the year is almost over and this week we drift into February (the second worst month of the year). Winter is still here but it is slowly departing to usher in a warmer and far more enjoyable season. 

Let’s answer some silly questions from Sunday Stealing shall we? 

1. What are your plans for February?

Despite what I anticipate will be crappy weather, February is a good and busy month. 

The best thing of all is our first trip abroad this year. We are travelling to Los Palmas in Gran Canaria in about a week and half. This will give us a little bit of sunshine and warm weather to alleviate the dreariness of a UK winter. It’s the first time I have been and it will be a bit of a mix of things to do. It will be part city break and part relaxation (Las Palmas is a big city with long stretches of beach apparently). We will be able to explore the city, go for long walks and also chill out by the beach if we so desire. Best of all I will get to practice a little Spanish. I will be able to understand menus and a lot of things written down and I should be able to make myself understood. I anticipate my main problem as being able to understand what people are saying back to me. 

I also have three gigs in February too. Two rock gigs featuring a Welsh rock trio called Florence Black and an American band called Fozzy. The final gig is with Mrs PM. Our tastes in music are different and we have a joint playlist that shows the overlap. One of the artists that features fairly heavily are Goldfrapp and we are going to see Alison Goldfrapp together. Here she is:

2. Did you ever have or go to sleepovers as a kid?

Yes – one or two. I wasn’t that keen on them to be perfectly honest with you. 

3. Which books would you pick for a book binge?

I would probably pick a few books in the style of Robert Ludlum, the guy who created Jason Bourne. Also on the list would be a massive elaborate space opera, a decent set of horror stories (though I read less of these now), and maybe a little fantasy or general science fiction. A couple of thrillers wouldn’t go amiss and to relieve the tension perhaps a few comedy novels similar to those written by Tom Sharpe. 

That would keep me busy for a while.

4. What features do you love most about your home?

It’s perfect for the two of us now that the kids are no longer here. I live in a three bedroomed mid-terrace house that was built in 1900 and it has lots of period features like high ceilings, picture rails etc. 

The bedrooms are all big and each one can easily accommodate a double bed – something that more modern three-bedroomed houses struggle to achieve. For example the first house I bought claimed to have three bedrooms but you could barely fit a small single bed in there – we turned it into a study because that is all it was useful for. 

The lounge is bright and we get the sun all day. The backroom where I am at the moment has just been redecorated and it serves several purposes. It has a TV with a playstation and two sofas so it works as a man cave for me, a second lounge and it is also my office. 

The kitchen is fairly big too. 

The back garden isn’t too big but there is enough room for us to have a table and chairs and in the summer we get the sun most of the day too. We also have a weather-proof “out-house” attached to the house at the back which is really a storage space. Mrs PM wants to do what other neighbours have done and knock through from the kitchen into it to create another room. Our neighbours are doing this as I write and the cost and trauma seem to me at least to be unnecessary for the benefits we will enjoy. The neighbours are much younger than us so they will appreciate it much more. 

So what is the best bit part of the house?

All of it. I love it and we don’t plan to move.

5. How often do you try something new?

The truthful answer is not often enough. Whenever I travel, I like to go somewhere new, preferably a new country. When I am abroad I am far more willing and able to try something new, but when it comes to breaking out of my comfort zone to try a new pastime in the UK I never seem to get around to doing it. 

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve tried a few new things in recent years like bombing around Delamere Forest on a segway (which was an experience I can tell you). Maybe it is just about not having enough time but really that sounds like a poor excuse because the reality is I do have time. Maybe things will change when I retire because I do get bored. 

6. What type of sushi is your favourite?

I like most sushi and sashimi. One of the highlights of Japan was going to a sushi restaurant in Kyoto for lunch. Everything we had was divine.

7. Do you prefer to relax or go on adventures during vacation?

It depends what you mean by “adventures”. To me, relaxing on holiday is spending an hour or two on the beach or swimming pool but we soon get bored of that and we typically walk around, popping into bars or coffee shops to escape from the heat in places where it is boiling hot. 

To me an “adventure” is going to explore a whole country where we do the whole “Planes, Trains and Automobiles” experience, which I have done in China, Japan, Vietnam, Australia, USA, Europe, Brazil and will be doing next in Malaysia in 2025. Those holidays are special and (related to question 5) we tend to try new things sometimes by accident. 

It’s a mixture really; Long travel holidays can be tiring but fun whereas I always feel totally recharged after a relaxing city break or beach holiday.

8. Which colours look best on you?

I really like wearing black but I don’t really do it that often. I look okay in most colours apart from orange, yellow or white, the latter two making me look like a ghost.

9. Do you like brunch?

I prefer to have breakfast and then lunch a few hours later but I am quite happy having brunch too. Usually brunch for me is a huge breakfast and it is usually something we rarely have in the UK but have quite often abroad.

10. Do you get stage fright?

Definitely. 

I read somewhere that even the bravest people fear public speaking and I can totally see why. The thing is I have had to do it a few times at work, giving courses in the UK, South Africa, Switzerland, Oman (bizarrely)  and the USA as well as a couple in China and Russia via interpreters. When a lot of people fear speaking in public they typically only have to do it for an hour or so. If you are giving a course like the ones I had to, you have to stand up all day (for six or seven hours) for four or five days. You may think that you will get used to it and after the initial shock, it does get a little easier I have to admit. But then the fear returns for the next one. 

It is a rather bizarre phobia, I have to say, because I often talk to a bunch of people in meetings, in pubs etc. Yet when it comes to teaching about 20 Russians about an IT system, it seems like the most difficult thing in the world. I know the technical details of course but the fear comes from standing there and talking to these guys. 

The good news is that those days are over now as I don’t give courses anymore. I am certain that there will be another time when I have to do it again – I hope not – but I will be able to cope after the initial shock.

11. Which podcasts do you like at the moment?

I don’t really listen to podcasts but I have come across a couple recently about progressive rock that were quite entertaining. It is something that I want to get more involved in. 

12. One thing that immediately makes your day better

Not working. Today is Friday and I am off work as I am every Friday. There is nothing better than going to bed the night before knowing that you don’t have to get up early to either work from home or go into the office (which I have to do once or twice a week now). 

13. Which family members are you closest to?

All of them. I am singling nobody out because I love them all. 

14. Something you practice often

Spanish and the piano. 

For Spanish I do Duolingo lessons every day (my streak is 972 days). In addition to that I am reading “Harry Potter y la piedra filosofal” (Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone). I read it in English but then I thought It would be a challenge to read it in Spanish too. I bought it last year and didn’t really bother with it so this year I decided to read some of it every day – and I have. I still have to look up a lot of the words but it is getting easier, particularly as I gradually start to get the hang of the grammar). I am also watching what is described as a “telenovela” called "Destinos", which is geared towards teaching speaking and listening skills. There are 52 episodes and although I don’t watch it every day, I am about 20% of the way through it. 

I also practice the piano every day. I am teaching myself and progress is slow but I am slowly getting there. Hot off the press, I managed to get through this one today for the first time. I still make lots of mistakes but I am far better than I was when the piano was first delivered.

My aim is just to have fun with the piano though how amazing would it be to be able to play like Jordan Rudess?

15. Are you a light sleeper or a deep sleeper?

I’m a light sleeper and I hate it. I usually manage to get a good 6 to 8 hours sleep every night but I do wake up if, say a hedgehog sneezes in next door’s garden. Mrs PM is a really deep sleeper and I am so envious of her. 

A few weeks ago, for some insane reason, a Royal Air Force Chinook helicopter decided to fly over the area where we live at about 1am but at a height of just 3000ft. I woke up as soon as I heard the thing when it was miles away and I lay gradually hearing the thing get louder and louder until it flew above our house where it made enough noise to wake the dead. “What the f**k IS that?” I said aloud and peered out of the window thinking it was a UFO. I saw lights go on in the street so other people heard it too. We found out what it was because it made the local newspaper the thing was so loud. In some cases people complained that their house “shook”.

And the next morning, I said to Mrs PM – “What about that bloody helicopter?”

“What helicopter?” she said. “The bloody thing hadn’t woken her up at all.

I am so envious!

Swip Swap

Welcome to South Manchester on a beautiful cold winter day with the sun shining and the temperatures dropping to a slightly chilly 0 degrees Celsius. 

Let’s plunge straight away into more silly questions from Sunday Stealing. 

1. If you could have a remote control that could pause time, what would you do with it?

It would be a little like being invisible I guess. I would use for example to gain entry into places where I would have to pay to get into. For example, I wouldn’t pay for another gig; I would just turn up at the entrance, click the remote control, and slide past the security checks and ticket verification to gain entry. The same would apply to sporting events and other similar things. 

I could do nefarious things like travel to London, gain entrance into Number 10 Downing Street and then plant a bugging device there to find out what the incompetent buffoons running the country are actually planning to do, and then release the details to the press and TV and expose them for what they are. 

Can I please have one?

2. What's the silliest thing you believed as a child that you wish were true now?

I believed that I could sing. That dream was ruined by a music teacher who was recruiting for the school choir and told me in no uncertain terms that my voice sounded like that of a cat being strangled. 

Things might have been different if my voice now were as good as I imagined it was. 

I believe it is actually far worse than when I was a kid, and my music teacher was basically being very kind in his own weird way. Whenever I start to sing in the house, the cats run away (because presumably they think there is a cat strangling burglar lurking around) and Mrs PM threatens to silence me with a frying pan before the windows crack under the strain.

3. If your life had a theme song that played every time you entered a room, what song would it be?

Since my name is Dave it would have to be this classic from Manfred Mann’s Earth Band released in 1977. The song is called “Davy’s on the Road Again”. Enjoy and imagine I’m walking into your house. I won't be singing it though.

4. If you were a vegetable, and someone accidentally ate you, what would you want them to say after the first bite?

Wow – you need to stop taking those dodgy drugs. 

I would hope to dissuade anybody from eating me as a vegetable by making them violently ill, so I would probably say “I would go straight to the toilet, if I were you, and stick your fingers down your throat.”

5. If you were a flavour of ice cream, which one would you be, and why?

Really – stop taking those dodgy drugs.

I would be the least palatable ice cream possible so that nobody would want to eat me. Brussell Sprout and Liver flavoured ice cream would do the trick.

6. What's the strangest thing you've ever googled or searched for on the internet?

I’m weird and I have a weird blog so I have searched for some strange items. The first one that springs to mind is some research when I was writing this blog post:

Fear (Part Five) – Chinese Toilets 

Warning: Before you read it, it does talk about disgusting toilets in China that I experienced on a trip there in 2010. 

When I was writing it, I thought it would help to illustrate how bad some Chinese toilets could be by adding some pictures of the abominable places. So my search was something like:

“Pictures of Chines Toilets”.

In fact, as I was looking for the above post, I realised that I have possibly just topped that with the search:

“Plastic Mancunian Chinese Toilets”

See what I mean ? I am just a weirdo.

7. If your pet could suddenly talk, what do you think it would say to you first?

Both of my cats would say:

“FEED ME NOW!”

8. If you were a character in a video game, what would be your special move?

I mainly play football games so my favourite move would allow me to dribble past all players and score a spectacular goal.

9. What's the most bizarre item you've ever bought online?

I’ve not bought anything really bizarre. I do recall buying a book for Mrs PM’s birthday called “Test Your Cat: The Cat IQ Test”. I thought it was so bizarre that I thought it would make a fun silly gift.

10. If you could replace the sound of one everyday activity with your own voice, which activity would you choose?

That sounds like another question concocted whilst high on something weird. 

I have no idea.

11. If you were a punctuation mark, which one would you be, and how would you punctuate people's sentences?

This too is another question from the addled mind of a person on something weird. 

I would be a full stop so that I could end their sentences as soon as they bored or annoyed me.

12. If you could have any celebrity be your personal assistant for a day, who would it be, and what tasks would you assign them?

It would be Morena Baccarin and it would be a day when I wasn’t working. Her only task would be to chat to me and smile. That would suffice.

13. What would be the worst "buy one, get one free" sale item ever?

I can think of a few:

A Coffin

Rhubarb

A Chinese Toilet

A Vasectomy

A Dinner Date with Donald Trump

14. If you could trade places with any fictional character from a book or movie, who would it be, and what would you do differently in their story?

It would be Harry Keogh from Brian Lumley’s Necroscope.

Harry can talk to the dead and teleport to anywhere and anywhen. Sadly in the Necroscope series he ends up fighting the scariest and most horrific vampires ever to have walked the face of the Earth. I would simply avoid the vampires like the plague and have a lot of fun doing exciting and far less dangerous things.

15. If you had to live inside a TV show for a month, which show would you pick, and why?

I would probably go for Dr Who as long as I could dictate where we travelled to in his TARDIS. He can travel to any place at any given point in time. Given Question 14, do you see a trend?

Pin It!

 

Welcome to another typical January day in South Manchester; cold, dull but thankfully no rain. We have booked our first holiday of the year and will be departing for Gran Canaria at the start of February for a little winter sun. It should give me a chance to practice a little Spanish too hopefully. 

Today is my day off work and I have just had my eyes tested, which means I will be getting a brand new pair of glasses next week. The difference this time is that Mrs PM usually insists on coming with me to choose my new frames “because I have to look at you”; this time she didn’t and I have chosen them. 

I actually think they are very nice. We shall see what she says but I am now of an age where I don’t really care anymore. They aren’t too dissimilar to the ones I have on at the moment and I have a vague idea what she likes so I think I will be okay. 

Shall we answer some silly questions from Sunday Stealing? 

1. Your favourite part of the day

It depends on whether I am working or not. If I am working then my favourite part of the day is late afternoon when I actually stop working, 

If I am not working then I am not bothered really and have no preference. Morning is good because I feel at my sharpest. This is the time I do my “daily duties”, i.e. learn Spanish, play the piano etc. I like the evenings because I am more relaxed either going out somewhere or vegetating in front of the TV or listening to music. 

In the summer, I like to sit in the garden in the afternoon, either chatting to Mrs PM and/or the neighbours or reading a book.

2. Something you know a lot about.

I know a lot about the computer system I work on from the operating system I use, via the database and the application. I am considered one of the company experts. I won’t bore you with the technical details as I want you to read the rest of the post without falling asleep. 

The system I work on is sold to a particular type of customer so I also know a lot about how they operate. I will tell you more about that when I retire because it is quite interesting. 

3. An important person in your life.

There are many important people in my life but, as usual, I will select Mrs PM because she is the person that understands me most on the planet and also my best buddy. I have absolutely no idea how she has managed to put up with me for just over 25 years but I am very thankful that she has. 

4. Your favourite recipe

Is this to make or to eat?

If I am making something myself it has to be quick and easy, although I can actually cook. I would say it has to be the pasta dish that I can whip up in about fifteen minutes. 

If we are talking about Mrs PM, she makes a mean chicken paella. 

Perhaps I may expand my horizons and my culinary skills when I have more time after retirement. I have dabbled before and created edible food that people have enjoyed.

5. An event that turned out differently than planned

Probably the first time I went to watch horse racing. We have friends in Chester, which isn’t too far away, and they invited us to Chester races. I was a little dubious because it involves gambling and I’m not really a gambling man. Nevertheless, we had an amazing time and I had absolutely no idea what I was doing when I bet on the horses. I was asking one of the guys for advice and he basically told me to have a quick look at the odds and then to go with my gut. 

So I did. I decided to put the same small amount on each of the seven races, even if by a miracle, I actually won one. That way I would control my losses. 

I lost the first race but won all six of the remaining ones. 

By the sixth race, a couple of the guys were getting a little annoyed because they had won bugger all. 

My scientific method was to take a look at the odds, and look at the four horses with the best chance of winning – and then pick the horse with the funniest name. 

At the end, I was elated and made a significant profit. I decided to ease my mates’ pain by buying a round of drinks at the pub afterwards. 

Since then I have been back to Chester Races and also Haydock Park (we go there once a year). I stick with the same method, i.e. bet a small amount, look at the odds and then pick the horse with the funniest name. 

Guess what? 

I have won hardly anything since. I am usually lucky if I pick one winner and make a profit. 

Therefore my method worked once – and only once. 

It’s good fun though if you are sensible. The one thing you must remember though is that the odds are always against you and, as in a casino, “the house always wins”.

6. How you procrastinate

I am doing much better when it comes to procrastination because I’ve made a habit of things (my “daily duties”).

Usually if I do succumb to it, I watch junk on TV, play with my phone or even do housework.

Note – I have never ever procrastinated at work, so I have asked myself why I do it at home?

It’s crazy. 

7. The best type of surprise

Pleasant surprises.

I don’t like nasty ones. 

8. Music that helps you relax

Ambient electronic or rock music like these two. 

9. A thing your life has in excess

Work. 

Work has dominated my life for almost forty years and until recently I have had to endure it. Don’t get me wrong; I have a lot to be grateful for and at times I have enjoyed it immensely. But that time is now drawing to a close. 

And, yes, I have to find something to fill the gap that is left when I finally give it up.

10. A book you want to read.

I have a few books on my Kindle that I have bought and are waiting for me to attack. I will select them one at a time but none of them stand out as a must-read immediately. I can’t think of any other books I desperately want to read. 

11. A person you’re always happy to see.

I’m always delighted to see my sons and my sister. And Mrs PM of course. And also all of my mates and family. 

12. What  time do you go to sleep?

It depends on the day. On a school night (Sunday to Wednesday), I usually go to bed between 9:00pm and 9:30pm to give me time to read a little before sleeping. The only reason for this is that I am up at 6:00am to do my morning walk before starting work. 

On Thursday, Friday and Saturday, I tend to go to bed later, usually any time between 11:00pm and 01:00am – because I can.

13. A word to describe the past year.

Better.

The 2020’s so far have been terrible but each year has gradually improved. 2023 was a fairly good year when I look back at it and I have high hopes for 2024.

14. Your favourite household chore

I don’t have a favourite household chore. I hate them all. 

That said, the one that gives me the greatest satisfaction is cleaning the kitchen because I really, really hate seeing dirty dishes and work surfaces covered in bits of food.

15. One thing you’d like to see

I’m going to give you a few – because I am a rebel.

I want to see the Conservative Party turfed out of parliament this year.

I want to see an end to the two major wars that are going on at the moment.

I want the UK to rejoin the EU.

Basically I want to see a world with peace and harmony where nations are tolerant of each other and we all feel safe - a wordl where everyone in every nation can sit down and have a beer together (or your tipple of choice) with laughter and fun.

I can dream can’t I?

Just vote for me as World President and I will sort it all out for you guys.

Some More Faves

Welcome to the first post of 2024 in a dismal South Manchester that has been battered by a storm over the past couple of days. We’re used to it in Manchester but in other parts of the country, some rivers have burst their banks and torrential rain on already sodden ground has caused floods, some of which have invaded people’s homes and caused disruption on transport services. This always happens and our inept government just sits there with Rishi Sunak simply insincerely saying “We’re doing all we can” from inside his dry office. 

I mustn’t start ranting about our government so I shall dive into the first set of silly questions from Sunday Stealing in 2024. 

1. Favourite food

I like most food so it’s probably best to tell you what I don’t like. 

Thai food generally has a taste that I dislike but the food from most places is good – unless it contains rhubarb, apricots, figs, dates, turkish delight, celery, pears, is banana flavoured (though I like bananas), prunes, Christmas pudding, aubergine (eggplant for Americans),  or liver. 

Or one particularly nasty Swiss cheese that I once tried outside a cheese shop in Altrincham that tasted like somebody had blown cigarette smoke into a sock that had been worn by an athlete for a week.

2. Favourite colour

Teal. Our new sofas in the back room are teal and they are lovely.

3. Favourite Animal

Dogs and cats. I can’t distinguish between the two even though I have cats, which is mainly due to Mrs PM. I would have one of each if I could, just like I did as a kid.

4. Favourite thing to do on a cold day

It depends on whether it is sunny and not icy. It is very pleasant walking on a cold crisp winter’s day where the temperature is just above 0°C. If there is snow on the ground or it is icy and/or raining, I prefer to do something indoors.

5. Favourite vacation spot

That depends on the holiday type. If we are going to a place near to the sea then it would have to be Marbella in Spain or Nice in France. Both are fabulous and very scenic places.

In the UK, I enjoy going to London. It is huge and although I have been there countless times, I still haven’t seen it all. The city surprises me every time I am down there.

My favourite place in the world, outside Manchester, is Hong Kong and we should hopefully be heading back there early in 2025 on the way back from Malaysia.

6. Favourite TV show

I have far too many to list here. Some highlights over the past couple of years include Dr Who, The Wire, Stranger Things, Squid Game, The Last Kingdom, Vikings, The Boys, The Expanse, Dexter, Curb Your Enthusiasm, Black Mirror, The Last of Us, Game of Thrones, Peaky Blinders, Daredevil, Jessica Jones.

7. Favourite Mythical creature

I guess vampires count as mythical creatures, don’t they? I am fascinated by them. I don’t include the feeble creatures in the Twilight Series by the way; to me they are most definitely NOT vampires. I am talking about those you see in the old Hammer Horror films and the Blade movies. 

Is it weird that I like them? I reckon so – but I don’t care.

8. Favourite fairy tale

I’m not a lover of fairy tales but if you were going to push me, it would probably be Jack and the Beanstalk.

9. Favourite thing to draw

I can’t draw at all. I’ve tried and been told not to give up my day job. My sister is very good at drawing. I don’t know where she gets it from.

10. Favourite scent

The smell of bacon cooking.

11. Favourite mode of transportation

I enjoy a good train journey. As I get older I am much more inclined to travel around the UK by train. For example, I can get to London in about two hours. I find it very relaxing. 

A close second is flying. Actually I hate flying because it is cramped and tedious but if I am in an aircraft it means that I am on my way to somewhere abroad and that makes it bearable.

12. Favourite vegetable

That would probably be carrots if you are forcing me to choose. Vegetables are generally pretty bland but I Like the taste of carrots more than any others.

13. Favourite candy

I tend not to eat “candy” (or sweets as we call them over here). If you were to push me, it would be dark chocolate Lindor.

14. Favourite sport

Football . And by that I mean what Americans call “soccer” (it’s known as football everywhere else in the world). In America “football” is a weird game that I don’t understand that looks to me like a weird and much less dangerous form of rugby.

My favourite football team are called Walsall and they are currently in a run of good form having won six out of the last seven games, culminating in a 6-1 away victory at Grimsby Town. 

15. Favourite weather

We have varied weather in the UK but the best is in the summer when the sun is shining and the  temperature is between 25°C and 30°C. 

Goodbye 2023 - Part 2

Welcome to a dull grey old South Manchester. Winter is here, the days are short and the weather is poor. But at least it isn’t raining.

Christmas is over for another year and New Year is just around the corner. Before the big day, here is Part Two of a summary of 2023, questions as usual from Sunday Stealing.

1. What did you do this year that you had not done before? 

I was called up for jury service. I thought that I would get away with it but in early December, a letter appeared through my letterbox telling me that I would have to turn up at court for the last two weeks of December. I had no choice unless my company objected to it or I had a valid reason for not attending (for example being on holiday – that kind of thing). 

In the end, because it was so close to Christmas I ended up only doing a week and I was on a small trial. It was all very interesting and formal and I actually quite enjoyed the experience. I think I am now safe from ever doing it again but I think I would approach it positively in the unlikely event that I ever get called again. 

2. Did you keep your New Year's Resolutions/goals for the year and will you make/set more for next year?  What are they? What are your new ones?

I did keep my resolutions and I am in the process of deciding what to do next year. 

I’ve carried on with learning Spanish and playing the piano and although progress is slow on both I am improving. I have also started writing a novel which is also progressing very slowly but I have a story and an ending. I also have a better plan for a memoir of sorts based on my experiences of travelling. I may start that next year but it is still at  the planning stage. 

I am still writing a daily “journal” of sorts, which is more like “freewriting” where you basically write any old crap daily. It doesn’t have to be good or grammatically correct; you just have to write. 

Next year I plan to take some of the stuff out of that (the nuggets in the pile of rubbish if you like) and turn them into blog posts. I have been doing Sunday Stealing for a while now with little else but I want to return to the type of blog posts I used to write up until a couple of years ago. Expect to see more blog posts in 2024. I shall almost certainly continue with Sunday Stealing because it’s fun.

My other goals won’t change that much – just more of the same. 

We also plan to travel again this year although we have pushed Malaysia back to the start of 2025. We will probably go to Spain, France and Morocco in 2024. It would be nice to add another new country to the list – that may happen. 

3. Did anyone you know give birth? Or get pregnant? 

No, I don’t think so.

4. Did anyone you know die? Or have a serious illness? 

Not this year, thank goodness.

5. What places did you visit? 

We travelled to Spain (Tenerife), Morocco, Italy (Sicily), Croatia and I went to the Netherlands for a university reunion. 

I had never been to Morocco before; it was a great experience and we are thinking of going again next year. We spent a long weekend exploring Marrakesh. We had a lot of fun. 

Bahia Palace Marrakesh

Marrakesh Sunset

In Croatia we went to Dubrovnik for a week and I would thoroughly recommend it. It is a beautiful city. We also visited a couple of other places that aren’t too far away. 

Dubrovnik Old Town from above

Dubrovnik Old Town 

Sicily was wonderful. We spent a week in Taormina, which is a beautiful little town in vicinity of Mount Etna, a still active volcano. Thankfully it didn’t erupt while we were there. 

Mount Etna (from a distance)

Taormina from above

In the Netherlands, I met three of my old university friends in Amsterdam, a city I know very well. In our weekend there I acted a tour guide because I have worked there so many times I know the place almost as well as I know the back of my hand. 

Four Reprobates in Front of the Rijksmuseum, Amsterdam (I'm the one in front)

6. What would you like to have next year that you lacked this year (doesn't have to be a physical thing)? 

Nothing really. I’m not a fan of having our house disrupted and that happened this year with the redecoration of the back room, stairs and landing as well as the loft. So I would like less disruption at home – and I know that I am going to get it because we have no plans for anything like that in 2024.

7. What date from this year will remain etched in your memory and why? 

No dates stand out this year. I guess Mrs PMs birthday stands out a little because we went down to London to see the Abba Voyage show, which was surprisingly good. 

Talking of gigs, I saw three of my favourite bands/artists this year: Devin Townsend, Riverside and Porcupine Tree. They stand out because they were amazing. 

8. What was your biggest achievement this year? 

No one thing stands out but I have managed to maintain my daily habits so that counts. I have probably walked further this year than I have walked in previous years (the total mileage will be around 1565 miles if I stick to my step plan for the remaining couple of days of the year).

9. Did you get sick or injured? Anyone you know? 

Apart from a couple of minor colds, I was fine this year. A couple of friends and work colleagues came down with Covid-19 but were fine now it seems to be far less nasty than it has been in the past. 

10. What was the best thing you bought? 

It’s sad to say this but the furniture for our back room is probably the best thing; two new teal sofas, a new desk for me to work on, a new light, new flooring and a new mirror. Also the basic loft conversion we had to allow us to store more stuff up there. 

11. Where did most of your disposable income go (money left over after you pay for food, transportation and shelter)? 

Holidays and home improvements. I love holidays so they were well worth it. Home improvements? I hate them but it does look good so it was worth it. 

12. What song will always remind you of this year? 

On Spotify, this is my most played song of 2023. As you can imagine I love it. I present “Friend or Foe” by Riverside.

13. What do you wish you would have done more of? 

We were planning to go to Sweden (another new country) this year but home improvements proved to be more important (sadly). So I would like to perhaps do a couple more city breaks (starting with Stockholm) in 2024 – whether it happens or not I don’t know but I hope so.

14. What do you wish you would have done less of? 

Working. That may change in 2024.

15. What was your favourite new TV program? Movie? Album/Songs? Or if you didn't pick up any new ones, what are you still watching/listening to?

Favourite New TV Programme: The Last Kingdom:

Favourite Movie: Mission Impossible: Dead Reckoning Part One:

Favourite Album: “ID.Entity” by Riverside – here’s “I’m Done With You”:

Another Favourite Song: “Impossible Tightrope” by Steven Wilson:

Happy New Year everybody. I hope 2024 is an amazing year for you all.

Goodbye 2023

Welcome to South Manchester on a dull, grey, windy day with light rain that somehow manages to get into every nook and cranny during a daily walk. It’s quite mild for the time of year though.

I’ve finished work for the year now (yesterday was my last day) and I’m looking forward to a couple of weeks off before returning. Pity the weather isn’t better.

We’re off to Blackpool for Christmas Eve/Christmas Day to visit Mrs PM’s folks before returning and relaxing until New Year. It should be fun.

The questions from Sunday Stealing this week seem to relate to New Year and I usually provide a summary anyway, so this is likely to be the first of a two or three parter. Shall we dive in?

1. Who did you spend time with this year?

The same people I spent time with in 2022 largely. We are now expected to go into the office twice a week now so I probably spent more time with work friends and colleagues over the year. It’s a bit of a pain going into the office because Covid is still around and there have been a couple of scares. For example we had a huge meeting with about thirty people crammed into an office and two days later discovering that one person actually had Covid. I didn’t catch it this year thankfully. It does seem to be doing the rounds again though, thankfully, it is a much milder illness now. 

2. Anything change with the pets in your life?

Not at all. The still rule us with a rod of iron. Star in particular is fascinated by the cursor on my screen and sits in front of the monitor watching it as I move it around. To anybody watching this, it would appear that she is supervising me and making sure that my work reaches her highest standards. It’s funny too; when I move the cursor off the edge of the screen she looks behind to try to find it. 

3. What was your job like this year? What do you do? Did any roles or assignments change? If you aren’t employed, base this question on your work at home or volunteering.

As I said above, we are now expected to go into the office for two days a week. I am actually much more productive at home. The management use words like “collaboration” and similar bullshit terms to justify this but the truth is that companies are spending money on offices and want them used. They never say this though – they think we are stupid. 

Work wise my job was the same – frustrating, sometimes tedious, occasionally interesting. To be honest, now I don’t let it get to me at all, and while I have had a reputation for comedy ranting, I don’t even do that anymore. I do like the majority of my workmates, I have to say.

I don’t have that long left before I retire so there’s no point ranting anymore.

4. What was the best book you read this year?  How many did you read?

I’ve read quite a few books this year, mostly science fiction but a trilogy of horror stories set in 19th century England which were a minor diversion from the norm. I think the one I enjoyed most was a time travel novel by A.G.Riddle called Lost in Time.

5. What did you do on your birthday and how old were you? Did you feel differently? 

I am now 61 years old and I went to one of my favourite local restaurants on my birthday with Mrs PM. I haven’t felt different for the past twenty years to be honest. I have calmed down a little bit and I am more sensible but if I met my 40 year old self I think we would have a fun time together. 

6. What political or social issue stirred you the most? 

Where do I start? The Conservative government this year has been as ludicrous and incompetent as ever. Rishi Sunak is the latest in a list of useless Prime Ministers, though he is nowhere near as bad as Boris Johnson who wins two awards – the most incompetent Prime Minister we have ever had and the biggest liar in the office of Prime Minister. He’s also nowhere near as bad as Liz Truss who was Prime Minister for just 49 days and in that time crashed the economy. Nevertheless he is a weak useless fool who has made five pledges/promises and failed to achieve any of them.

There is an election next year thank goodness and I hope for the sake of my sanity that we turf these buggers out!

I might seriously consider leaving the UK if they win again.

7. Who was the most interesting new person you met?

I’ve met a couple of new people this year and they are all very interesting. I can’t single one of them out.

8. What changed in your home? 

We have had the back room of my house redecorated along with the hall stairs and landing. We have replaced almost all of the furniture and the stairs and landing carpet. We have also replaced the carpet in the back room with LVT because it looks better and is easier to clean (especially with cats). I have a new desk too and a set of new pictures scattered around as well as two lovely teal sofas that the cats love to sprawl on.

My man cave looks bright, clean and new.

We also had the filthy old loft converted into a proper store room with a membrane to keep it clean. There is lots of room up there now and it is full of my old knick-knacks and memorabilia that Mrs PM says that I “hoard”. I don’t – and there is tons of room up there for much more. 

9. What have you learned throughout the year? (Other than crafts)  Can be a new skill or a life lesson.

My piano playing has improved a lot and so has my Spanish. I haven’t taken on anything new apart from trying Italian after a trip to Sicily. I think I might give that up though because it is affecting my Spanish (the two languages are similar but different enough to make me use Italian words in Spanish by mistake).

10. What was your favourite outfit for warm weather? Cooler weather?  what do you wear when you dress up? Any new clothes or accessories you really love?

When the weather is warm you will find me in a T-shirt or polo shirt and shorts.

When the weather is cooler you will also find me in a T-shirt or polo shirt but it depends on the temperature. I may wear a jumper or a shirt. Today for example I am wearing a sweat shirt with a T-shirt underneath as I bum around the house. I also wear jeans.

When I dress up, it depends where I am going. For a meal, I will wear a shirt with jeans or chinos. For a wedding or something like that I will wear a shirt and tie and a suit (at least until the party starts when I will lose the tie and jacket).

11. Did you make or give up on any efforts to be healthier? Diet, water, exercise etc?

I have increased my step count from last year. Hot off the press – my average step count so far is this year is 8704 per day (4.29 miles per day). This is compared to 8218 per day in 2023 (4.12 miles per day). If I keep this up for the last few days of the year I will have walked 1566 miles this year.

My diet hasn’t changed that much. I eat lots of fruit, drink lots of water and eat a fairly balanced diet. I tend to let myself go a little at the weekend but overall I think I am okay.

I will also try to be healthier in January as usual. I don’t believe in abstinence so although my consumption of alcohol will go down, I will never attempt “Dry January”. 

12. Fave meals, snacks, desserts, restaurants etc? Eat out or eat in?

I love almost every cuisine in the world – I can’t single out a favourite.

My favourite snack is cheese on toast (which I haven’t actually had for a while). 

I like eating in and eating out.

A bit of a boring answer that one – sorry.

13. Did you learn any new crafts or techniques? What was your favourite thing you made? 

Nope. When it comes to crafts I am terrible.

14. What are your hopes and dreams for the new year?  (Some suggestions-family, travel, work, lifestyle, hobbies, pets, appearance)

I hope to improve on the piano and perhaps go to a proper class to improve my Spanish communication.

I will possibly look for a new hobby, perhaps related to music. 

It goes without saying that I will travel. We were going to go to Malaysia next year but I think this will be in January 2025 now because of the weather. It’s fair to say that we will be in Europe somewhere though.

15. What was the best new/new-to-you thing you a) bought b) made c) acquired in some other way?

Best thing I bought? I would say it was everything I mentioned in Question 8 to improve the house, which involved actually “making” stuff also (well – building a cupboard from IKEA).

Christmas 2023

Welcome to a pleasant winter’s day in South Manchester. The weather is mild and the clouds are light and fluffy, with a blue sky and a low sun that is beaming into our lounge through the Christmas tree which is positioned at the front window with lights flashing to a rhythm dictated by a switch that we can tweak. Personally I would tweak it every day but Mrs PM likes the current pattern; I am happy to let her have her way. 

Of course, the cats are fascinated by the tree and surprisingly they are well behaved around it. I do catch them tapping the odd globe occasionally but they don’t try to climb it (it is about seven feet tall I think). 

Yes, Christmas 2023 is almost upon us so it seems like a good idea to squeeze in a couple of silly answers to some silly questions from Sunday Stealing with Christmas in mind. 

1. What is the best Christmas gift you’ve ever received?

That’s a difficult one. As a kid, I usually received Christmas presents that I wanted or that excited me but as I became an adult, presents became kind of token presents and, as a man, it started to consist of socks, handkerchiefs, book tokens, beer, chocolate and other gifts that people don’t really know what to buy for the man in their life. The answer is, therefore, I don’t really know. Sorry – that is so boring.

2. What is the worst Christmas gift you’ve ever received?

Have you heard of Derek Acorah? 

He was a “psychic medium” who claimed to be able to converse with ghosts and in my view was a complete charlatan. He also claimed to be “possessed”. The person who bought me this gift had heard me mention his name and knows that I am into weird, spooky stuff. What I was actually doing was ranting about how gullible people are to have believed this idiot.

Here he is being exposed by a parapsychologist. And it’s well worth a look if you have six minutes to spare.

A total and utter charlatan and fraud – and I think most of those similar to him are the same. 

But back to the question. 

This person thought that a book written by Derek Acorah would be the perfect gift for me. How wrong they were.

To be kind, I read the first chapter and I have never read such a load of bullshit in my entire life. I felt bad that somebody has actually paid money for this vapid, turgid, amateurish waste of part of a tree and that some of the money spent had gone into Derek Acorah’s pocket to help prolong his abuse of gullible people.

I recycled it at the earliest opportunity.

Derek Acorah passed away in 2020 and if he really were able to talk to and be possessed by ghosts then surely he would have found his way back. Even if there were a part of me that believed in ghosts, this man is one reason why the sceptic in me will always dismiss such things as fraud.

Who knows? After this I may be visited by the Ghost of Christmas Past, the Ghost of Christmas Present and the Ghost of Christmas Future for being a cynical old git about people who claim to be able to talk to spirits. 

3. Do you have a favourite Christmas song?

It is fitting that my favourite Christmas song it Fairytale of New York by the Pogues and Kirsty MacColl. Shaun MacGowan passed away earlier at the end of last month. Rest in peace Shane.

 

4. Does your family have any favourite holiday traditions?

Not really. We usually go to at least on Christmas Party, have a pub crawl from my place of employment, visit family and get together with friends. We take it in turns hosting on Christmas Day and we start eating lots of fattening food, eating lots of chocolate and drinking more than usual. That’s why we all diet and abstain in January. 

We have a few things planned over the next week or two.

It is also traditional to have Christmas decorations and they are already up. 

5. What is your favourite Christmas snack?

Is a mince pie a snack? If it is then that is it. I love mince pies and we eat loads of them over the Christmas period. 

6. Did you believe in Santa growing up?

Yes – until I worked out that he doesn’t exist by applying logic. My dad came up with ridiculous answers to try to explain to me why he existed. I was asking about time zones, speed of travel, how this fat man could squeeze his bulk down a chimney, how he got in the house for people who didn’t have chimneys, how he managed to avoid the fire for those who had one, how he managed to get round the entire world in one day etc. etc.

In the end I told him that Father Christmas doesn’t exist – and he just laughed. 

7. How early do you start decorating?

That’s up to Mrs PM. She decides. We are decorated now and this year she wanted to do it on December 1st but we couldn’t for some reason. It was soon afterwards. I just allow Mrs PM to reign fully on all things Christmas.

8. Are you an early or last-minute shopper?

I am an early shopper. I like to get it all over and done with by the start of December.

9. Would you rather give or receive gifts?

I would rather receive them, but not because I am a tight-fisted git. I find it really difficult to decide what to buy for people and I invariably get a lot of them wrong (though people don’t necessarily tell me). Plus you have to actually spend time deciding and then buying. It is so easier to receive gifts and I like 99.9% of them. But please – no books, DVDs or anything by people like Derek Acorah.

10. What’s your favourite Christmas movie?

I don’t really like them if I’m honest and I try not to watch them. I do quite like “It’s a Wonderful Life” though, so I will say that one.

11. What is one of your Christmas memories?

The routine we had when I was a child. 

My dad was not a religious person and he was Church of England by baptism. My mum was Roman Catholic and so my two sisters and I were too. On Christmas Day we used to get up really early and my mum would take us to Mass, while my dad would stay in bed for a short while. By the time we got home, my dad had surfaced and spent the time cooking an elaborate and very tasty breakfast, while making a start on Christmas dinner. We would eat breakfast and then after tidying away the dishes, we would open our presents. 

My mum and dad would then spend a while in the kitchen preparing the dinner while we enjoyed our gifts and watched TV to soak up the atmosphere. 

We would be visited by grandparents later and enjoy Christmas dinner while lazing about, stuffing our faces with chocolate and all manner of food. 

The adults would all fall asleep in the afternoon, usually brought on by the Queen’s Speech (which was tedium personified and has been ever since) before playing games for the rest of the day.

It was simple but I can still picture it.

12. Do you open any presents on Christmas Eve?

Not at all. Presents are meant to be opened on Christmas Day. 

I imagine I will probably produce another post before Christmas but just in case I don't, have a Wonderful Christmas, each and every one of you.