The Eccentric Englishman

I read a news article about David Bowie last week in which he was described as the perfect example of an eccentric Englishman.

And that got me thinking (which is always a dangerous thing).

It’s well known that we, as a nation, are considered a little weird by our European cousins, and, dare I say, by the rest of the world. Eccentricity is in our genes and we express ourselves in bizarre ways.

If you don’t believe me, here are two examples.

First, we have gurning competitions.  Are you wondering what gurning is? It’s basically pulling a funny face and we have competitions throughout the country.

(Cheeky) people have suggested that I could win the World Gurning Championship with very little effort whatsoever.

Second, we have Morris Dancing. I used to work with a Morris Dancer and she turned up to a fancy dress party, clad in her full regalia, whereupon, after a couple of glasses of wine, she stunned us all by performing a solo Morris Dance in the middle of a crowded room, with lots of applause, mainly because we appreciated the eccentric nature of her display. She was passionate about her art, so passionate that she eventually married a fellow Morris Dancer. I wasn’t invited to the wedding but I can imagine that the entertainment would have involved bells, waving hankies and shaking sticks.

Here’s an example of Morris Dancing:

Strange, isn’t it?

There are more examples of British weirdness, such as cheese rolling and bog snorkelling that may make any foreigner wonder whether we are all slightly unhinged.

While the whole world has produced eccentrics, I feel that we have more than our fair share.

We have people like Paloma Faith, Noel Fielding, Eddie Izzard,  Ozzy Osbourne, Stephen Fry, Brian Blessed  and, though it pains me to say it, the Mayor of London, Boris Johnson.

Boris Johnson could be a future Prime Minister - God help us all!

Brian Blessed - "GORDON'S ALIVE!!!"

Eddie Izzard - Very funny and very surreal

Noel Fielding in one of his more sensible moments

Ozzy will soon have a frog in his throat.

Paloma Faith? Eccentric? HA HA HA!!

Stephen Fry - A man so intelligent it makes the rest of us look totally thick!

Of course, there are honorary foreign eccentrics worth a mention too, like Björk and Lady Gaga but I like to think that these people are also outrageous, something that we Englishmen are a little reluctant to be (with the possible exception of Ozzy Osbourne).

To be honest, when you look at the royal family, and the upper classes there are many weird people mingling in those big houses and palaces.

Possibly my favourite is Prince Phillip, the husband of Queen Elizabeth, a man who constantly makes us cringe with his ill-considered outbursts. Political correctness isn’t one of his strong point.

"Have I embarrassed you again, my dear?"

Here are some of the things he has said:

(To a Scottish driving instructor) “How do you keep the natives off the booze long enough for them to get them through the test?”

(To a 13 year old boy while visiting the Space Shuttle) “Well, you’ll never fly in it. You’re too fat to be an astronaut.”

(To a female sea cadet) “Do you work in a strip club?”

(To a Kenyan woman) “You are a woman, aren’t you?”

Eccentricity is a Scottish trait too as I discovered last Saturday when I attended a Burns Ball. That sounds a lot ruder than it is – I will reveal all in my next post.

I’ll leave you with a song by Paloma Faith that I actually like (much to Mrs PM’s utter shock):

Tweet Tweet

I am about to go to the toilet. It may not be pleasant. More details later.

I can imagine that the previous three sentences filled you with revulsion and disgust. I have got a point – honestly (and it does not involve graphic details of my toilet habits). My point can be summed up in one word:

Twitter

I have been reading a few blogs recently and have noticed that more and more bloggers are asking me to follow them on Twitter. I’ve had a quick look at the Twitter web site and it basically says:

Answer this simple question – What are you doing?

The opening line to this post tried to illustrate how I thought this whole Twitter thing worked. I’ve seen something similar on Facebook where you can leave a status of sorts stuff like:

Fred is skinning a dead fish

Bill is up to his eyeballs in dog poo

Linda has just dumped Greg but don’t tell him.

So what’s the difference between your Facebook status and Twittering? To be honest, I don’t know. I never bother filling in my Facebook status simply because I don’t want my friends to become comatose reading about my mundane and tedious life. Can you imagine it?

Dave is having a one way conversation with the cats about who scratched the door.

Dave is beginning to regret having chicken madras last night.

Dave has hay fever and it is totally unpleasant.

Dave is at work, cursing, spitting and drinking copious amounts of tea.

Actually to be fair, my life isn’t that humdrum; I do occasionally wander out into the wide world and slap it in the face (or usually get slapped instead), so there may be a remote chance that somebody might be vaguely interesting in some bits of my existence. I doubt it though.

So now I have a dilemma. Should I get onto this Twitter thing and spend my whole day updating it? I can see one use for it – that’s to promote this blog – but is that enough to make it worth my while?

I must admit I’m intrigued to find out what famous people are doing. For example, I know that Stephen Fry is a huge fan of Twitter and does it all the time. I wonder whether it is worth enrolling. I enjoy writing drivel here, so I wouldn’t want to make it a substitute for this blog. But I guess it could have its advantages.

So, can I ask anybody out there whether it is worth me doing it? Do you “tweet” and if so, why? And does it help to fulfil your life?

I’m genuinely interested, particularly after the recent events in Iran, where Twitter seems to have come into its own.

By the way – my first tweet, if I go for it, will be a report on my first paragraph. That should scare people away.

Mauled By A Russian Over Hugh Laurie

It seems that my post about Hugh Laurie didn't go down too well with a Russian House fan. Personally I didn't find the post too controversial - I was merely expressing an opinion.

I was intrigued to see a few visitors from there so I ran the referring web page through a translator. It was a forum and the translation came out as follows. The bits in blue are my words from the post:

I hate your Brits So take a one-sided, so stupidly did not see, so moronic to write: Let’s start with a scene from Friends (yeah - I know its American but it does show Hugh Laurie doing what he does best ). I was just shaking from indignation

I think that the poster (called "swallow") was quite upset.

I'm also criticised for the use of the phrase "our very own" when describing Stephen Fry. Correct me if I'm wrong but the last time I checked, Stephen Fry was British.

If any of you understand Russian then I'm sure there may be a few other choice insults. Here's the link:

http://house-md.net.ru/forum/15-5612-92

Oh well, c'est la vie. I don't care. In fact I find it quite amusing.

By the way, if you pop over here again, "swallow" and want to comment on my post directly, please feel free. I am a nice chap and will extend you every courtesy. I wouldn't want to start an international incident over an American show starring a British comedy actor and I certainly have a skin tough enough to cope with being called "one-sided" and "moronic". What's even funnier is that I was merely trying to show another side of Hugh Laurie; it is you, "swallow", who is being "one-sided" really - there's more to Hugh Laurie than Gregory House.

I have this nice message for you, "swallow":

Спасибо за комментарий. Просьба прокомментировать снова. посетил Россию, и было очень приятно провести время.

And finally - he is still stupid Prince George to me.

Hugh Laurie Is Not Dr House - He's Stupid Prince George!

I read a bizarre blog post the other week, describing Hugh Laurie as a sex symbol. The blog author was an American woman and was a huge fan of his highly successful series over there about a maverick medical misanthrope called Dr Gregory House.

I watched an episode out of curiosity and was amazed at how he has managed to transform himself into this strange character.

In the UK, we know Hugh Laurie as a comedy actor who usually plays gawky idiots. He is also a talented writer and musician who has starred in a sketch show with his comedy partner, our very own Stephen Fry.

From what I’ve read from American blogs, I have a feeling that Hugh Laurie’s early work is unknown across the pond. I’ve therefore decided to enlighten any Americans who stumble across this post with some of the best Hugh Laurie moments from his earlier career in the UK.

Let’s start with a scene from Friends (yeah - I know its American but it does show Hugh Laurie doing what he does best):



And now in Blackadder II as evil Prince Ludwig:



And now my favourite Hugh Laurie character; stupid Prince George in Blackadder The Third (with Stephen Fry and Rowan Atkinson):



And as George in Blackadder Goes Forth:



Here’s a sketch with Stephen Fry:



And finally an early musical composition to show off his musical talents:



I hope that gives you a deeper appreciation of Hugh Laurie. I cannot think of him as Dr Gregory House at all – to me he will always be Prince George, the bumbling stupid idiot from Blackadder The Third.