Showing posts with label Kim Jong Un. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Kim Jong Un. Show all posts

Saturday, 24 March 2018

Nuclear Holocaust


Whenever I see Donald Trump, two thoughts come to mind. The first I have ranted about on this blog so many times that I am not going to elaborate – basically the man is not fit for the office of President of the United States.

The second is a corollary of that sentiment – this man has the power to launch nuclear weapons at anybody who pisses him off.

While this seems unlikely, I think his words might just spark other lunatics to do just that – Kim Jong Un for example, a man who lives in fear of being toppled either by his own people or external forces. The recent war of words with the USA made me consider what would happen if Kim Jong Un were to launch an attack. Trump said he would be met with fire and fury like the world had never seen before.

Happy days, eh?

Equally, we have Vladimir Putin, a so-called democratically elected leader of a huge country with a nuclear arsenal that could annihilate most of Europe and the USA. Recent events in my own country, the poisoning of one of his own former spies on British soil, lead to retaliatory measures from our own government which were made with the barely veiled warning – “Do not threaten a nuclear power”.


The UK is also a nuclear power, with a smaller nuclear arsenal so we could retaliate and trigger World War 3.

With all of these threats looming, and other slightly mad and dictatorial leaders trying to acquire nuclear weapons, the future isn’t looking too good.

Some people say that owning nuclear weapons makes it unlikely that a nuclear holocaust will ever happen for fear of the devastating reprisals. But I say that it only takes one nutter to do something stupid and there are a few of them knocking around.

If World War 3 were to kick off, the initial attack would result in the annihilation of many major cities, wiping out the residents of those cities immediately.

The population of the world would be severely reduced and if you think the survivors would be lucky to escape then think again. Any towns and cities in the vicinity of the numerous detonations would not escape unscathed, simply because the aftermath of being close to a nuclear explosion would almost certainly eventually prove to be fatal. The survivors would almost certainly envy those killed immediately.

Residual radioactive material would be thrust into the upper atmosphere with winds spreading this over a great distance as it gradually fell back to Earth upon unsuspecting people who think they are safe.

Some people would die quickly while others would live longer but eventually succumb to the devastating effects.

Any people still surviving the nuclear fallout will still have problems. When a bomb explodes in the city it will hurl tons of debris into the atmosphere, so much in fact that it will block sunlight. Imagine this happening for numerous cities bombed across the globe; the amount of crap blasted into the atmosphere will be immense and the winds will also scatter this over great distances causing what is known as a nuclear winter. The global climate would be severely affected for at least a decade with soot being distributed over great distances by our wonderful winds.

For those who survived that there is also the prospect of a nuclear famine. A nuclear winter would affect agriculture for any survivors ultimately causing massive food shortages amongst the few people remaining.

The bottom line is that if there were a full scale nuclear war then we as a species and our animal colleagues will almost certainly face the prospect of total extinction. Of course it depends on how many weapons are used and the number of places that are annihilated.

If Putin or Trump or any potential psychopath thinks that unleashing a nuclear holocaust to save his own country then he is severely mistaken.

If you are interested, and have a morbid curiosity, you can simulate the effects of a nuclear detonation on your city using something called NUKEMAP (you can find it here). This gruesome web site allows you to specify a city and the size of the bomb and find out the extent of the fireball radius, the air blast radius and the thermal radiation radius.

Living only 5 miles from the centre of Manchester, I would be killed almost immediately if any bombs were to drop – a blessing in disguise I guess because I wouldn’t know what hit me.

Equally disturbing is MISSLEMAP which allows you to check the range and accuracy of the weapons of mass destruction in the world (you can find it here).

Again the UK is fully in range of anything launched from Russian soil so again I am right in the firing line.


Basically, my opinion is that if one or more nutters start a nuclear war then we are fucked even if we are lucky enough to be on a remote island at the time.


Thursday, 19 October 2017

Trumpa Loompa

Donald Trump!

What a man!

What a legend!

I am astonished by what he has achieved in recent years and find myself gaping in wonder at his triumphs.

Donald Trump is President of the United States of America, elected by promising to make America great again. Having been a frequent visitor to the US I wonder how this is possible but clearly he has seen something the rest of the world hasn’t. I realise that there are people out there who doubt this and my own personal theory is that he is doing his best to bring America to its knees in his first term in order to make the country rise up like a phoenix when the next President has to pick up the pieces. Clearly he thinks it will take a few terms to achieve his goals of rebuilding this self-proclaimed greatest country in the world.

And he has God on his side. At the inauguration ceremony, where it was clearly raining, Donald told the world that God made the sun shine. The rest of us saw pissing rain – but Donald saw God. The rest of us saw a below average crowd of witnesses to this event whereas Donald saw billions of people – the greatest number of people in history to witness the inauguration of a President.

Donald also has the ability to run the government on social media. Twitter has become the means of making the country amazing again with policy statement after policy statement crammed into 140 letters. He even invents new words like ”covfefe” – a true genius at work.

Talking of genius, nobody has taken Donald up on his challenge to have an IQ test. They are running scared because Donald has a higher IQ than anybody in the world. He doesn’t have to prove himself. He’s the President for heaven’s sake.

I am also envious of his hair. Yes – you read that correctly. My hair is a sentient beast and leaps at every opportunity to humiliate me.  Donald has the BALLS to face his own sentient beast and march out to face his loyal people with his head held high even when his own hair has appalling ideas of its own.

Moreover, while we’re on the subject of physical appearance, Donald is a trendsetter. His skin colour is amazing and redefines the word “orange”. We all know that “orange is the new black”, a phrase I am certain that Donald invented via Twitter sometime in the past. Either he wants to be an influential leader or he is simply an orange alien with crazy hair. You decide.



Donald also trying to redefine “misogyny” because (he says) he respects all women. All the talk about grabbing women in  intimate places has to be fake news – surely. Surely his quip about dating his own daughter was a joke, When he said way back in 1992 that “you have to treat ‘em like shit!” that had to be fake news too, didn’t it?

Okay – who am I kidding here? All the buffoonery above is total bollocks!

The man is a bloody arse. Everybody knows it but nobody will admit it.

Surely America has sussed this guy out.

Surely?

There are numerous examples of him talking utter bollocks, boasting, lying, contradicting himself, being nasty to anyone who criticises him, hiring incompetents and firing people who challenge him.

There must be millions of Americans who voted for him saying “What on earth possessed me?”

Make America great again? Really?

Donald Trump has made America a laughing stock. But it isn’t funny any more. All he does in the White House is massage his own ego, something he cares about much more than his country.

Worse, his bullshit is taking a sinister turn. Here are some disturbing quotes:

“Rocket man is on a suicide mission for him and his regime.”

“Kim Jong Un of North Korea, who is obviously a madman who doesn't mind starving or killing his people, will be tested like never before!”

"North Korea best not make any more threats to the United States. They will be met with fire and fury like the world has never seen ... he has been very threatening beyond a normal state. They will be met with fire, fury and frankly power the likes of which this world has never seen before.”




And what about this scary exchange when Trump recently posed with a room full of military leaders:

Trump: Maybe it’s the calm before the storm. Could be, the calm. The calm before the storm.

Press: What do you mean, Mr President?

Trump: We have the world's great military people in this room, I will tell you that. And uh, we're gonna have a great evening.

Press: But what do you mean by “calm before the storm”, Mr President?

Trump: You’ll find out.

What the bloody hell is THAT supposed to mean?

Is he going to authorise a major military offensive?

Is he making threats to a deranged power-hungry lunatic in North Korea who just happens to be testing missiles that may soon reach the United States armed with a nuke?

Will this be the start of World War 3?

Oh my God!

I tell you what: there has never been a President like Donald Trump – and I hope to God that there will never be another one.

Here are some thoughts from British comedians:







I hope that's cheered you up a bit.