Tune In Turn On

Welcome to a cloudy South Manchester on a Saturday lunchtime. I’ve just returned from a cruise to Greece where we visited four Greek islands, Athens and a couple of ancient Roman cities in Turkey. It was a good trip and renewed my faith in cruises. 

Sadly it now marks the end of summer and Autumn has now definitely kicked in, as is usual around this time of year. It was my birthday on Tuesday last week and I am looking forward to seeing Christmas adverts appearing on TV and every other social media outlet. 

There is other evidence of Autumn too – like this wonderful tree I passed the other day on my morning walk. 

Anyway, let’s mark the beginning of my Autumn with some sill questions from Sunday Stealing. 

1. Name a TV show you've seen every episode of.

I watch every episode of every TV series that I like. I will name one that I have recently watched called Stargate Atlantis because it is fresh in my mind. I loved the show and I think it was better than Stargate SG-1, the original series from which it was a spin off. I was surprised to see that one of its stars is a young Jason Momoa and I have to say that my favourite character was the curmudgeonly, flawed, scientific genius Rodney McKay. 

2. On which device do you do most of your viewing (television, tablet, computer, phone)?

I only really watch shows on my TV. There are exceptions of course, and it usually involves football. For example, I was in Malta this year and I watched a very important play-off match involving my team, Walsall, on my tablet. Similarly I watched a whole game on my smartphone while away on a weekend to Delamere Forest because I couldn’t get it on TV. These are genuine exceptions due to necessity and unavailability of the games on local TV. 

3. Name an actor/actress who would make you less likely to watch a show.

I’ve mentioned this before. I refuse to watch anything with James Cordon in it because he totally annoys me with his clumsy arrogance. He thinks he is hilarious but I find him totally irritating and annoying and not funny at all. Here is an illustration of him being an arsehole to a man I admire greatly – Sir Patrick Stewart.

See what I mean?

4. When you were a kid, what show did you love?

I am a huge geek and I love science fiction. I was a huge fan of Dr Who (I still am) and Space 1999 as well as Star Trek the original series. I will pick Space 1999 as it isn’t around anymore. In case you have never seen it, just imagine a parallel universe where in the year 1999 there was a base on the Moon manned. On September 13th of that year, a massive and catastrophic nuclear explosion on the Moon blasted it out of orbit and into the darkest depths of space. 

I absolutely loved it. 

5. What show do you recommend everyone watch?

Definitely Dexter. I wrote a blog post when the original series ended after eight seasons and I was genuinely saddened. You can read it here:

Goodbye Dexter Morgan 

I loved it. For the uninitiated, Dexter Morgan is a blood splatter analyst who works for the Miami Police department but just happens to be a psychopathic serial killer. His father, who was also a policeman, taught him a way to channel his murderous ways into bumping off other serial killers. I loved a line he said in a trailer for the first series:

“You had better hope that the police get you before I do!”

However, now, I am delighted to say that Dexter is back. I have seen the follow up series Dexter: New Blood and even the prequel Dexter: Original Sin. And now as I type I am about half way through the latest series Dexter: Resurrection. 

Long may you live Dexter – my favourite anti-hero.

6. What show do your friends like, but you don't?

I have female friends who adore Downton Abbey and all the movies and I simply do not get it at all. It is just not a series that I could watch. I saw one of the early episodes and just found it dull and tedious. Now I’m not saying that it really is dull and boring; it’s just not my cup of tea. 

7. When you watch TV, do you also busy yourself with something else (jigsaw puzzle, folding laundry, etc.)?

I tend not to watch TV unless I really want to, which usually means excluding any interruptions. However, if there is a football match on TV featuring teams that I do not support, sometimes I will have the occasional surf of the internet while the game is going on. 

8. Do you eat a meal or snack while watching TV?

Yes – often. We are not the typical family who sit at the dinner table to eat, unless it is a special occasion, which means that we will have breakfast, lunch and dinner while watching TV. Etiquette experts will no doubt frown on this practice, suggesting that meal times are family times. But who cares what they think? 

I know I don’t. 

9. What's your preferred genre (comedy, drama, reality, etc.)?

I am a huge fan of comedy and I love anything that is exciting, intriguing and weird. For example, I will watch a lot of science fiction programmes, intriguing thrillers like Dexter, action series. I also like documentaries especially science based stuff like Brian Cox’s Solar System, and anything involving UFS’s and conspiracies. 

10. Do you prefer mini-series (shows that tell their stories in a pre-determined number of episodes) or shows that come back season after season?

I like both. I’ve watched a couple of mini-series recently and really enjoyed them. I think that if you get a series that is based on a novel then a mini-series is the only thing that really does it justice. If you watch a movie based on a novel it can be good but I think sometimes it loses the profound essence of what the author was trying to say. 

I must admit that I presser TV shows that have multiple seasons to have an overriding story arc that lasts the entire series. You can say so much more and get deeper in the characters and story. 

I like that. 

 

Goodbye Dexter Morgan

Earlier this year I said goodbye to my current favourite fictional anti-hero:
Dexter Morgan, a blood spatter analyst who works for Miami Police and just happens to be a cold, unfeeling psychopathic serial killer who murders bad guys that have escaped justice and then hacks them to pieces, pops them in black plastic bags, takes them in his boat, aptly called “The Slice of Life” and dumps them out at sea.

Here is the trailer for season one:

Whenever I become engrossed in a major drama, I find myself worrying about whether it will survive or not. Thankfully, in the case of Dexter, the series has finished and reached some kind of conclusion.

After eight seasons, I can’t imagine Michael C. Hall wanting to play the part of Dexter for a moment longer, mainly because people will forever consider him to be that character. I can’t say that I blame him simply because of the nature of the character as well as forever being referred to as Dexter Morgan the serial killer.

There are actually people out there who truly believe that the characters actually exist and the poor actor has to suffer being chastised for daring to do the bad things he acted out on the screen. In the UK, some actors have received hate mail simply because they committed an atrocity against a much loved character in a soap opera.

It’s amazing to think that people are that gullible and stupid – but it’s true.

While some series manage to run to a logical and satisfying conclusion, there are others that don’t. This is particularly true in America, where major drama series are judged on audience ratings and axed if they do not attract the required number of dedicated viewers.

This truly annoys me.

Series like Lost managed somehow to hold on and reach a conclusion (whether it was satisfactory are not is a subject for another debate), yet other series are simply cut short in their prime leaving a cliff hanger series finale that leaves fans totally frustrated.

One of my favourite science fiction series from the 1990’s suffered with the threat of being axed but recovered. It was hugely popular in the UK but in the US, the ratings weren’t quite as high as expected and the threat of the axe loomed over the series for four out of the five seasons, leading to a truly action-packed fourth season as the producers tried to cram everything in, but leaving season five slightly disjointed.

If you haven’t seen Babylon 5 – here’s a taster – a space battle with the evil Shadows in their malevolent spider-like spaceships:

Even the first season of Star Trek was curtailed too quickly after a mere three seasons. It was only later due to fan pressure that the show was resurrected as movies, which ultimately spawned four more separate series and even more movies.

In the UK it seems that producers are less likely to wield the axe on a show. Some shows last for years and only suffer if they are truly awful.

An example of a show that has true longevity is, of course, Dr Who, which remarkably is celebrating its 50th anniversary this year. Dr Who is the story of a time travelling alien who seeks adventure and has as his playground the whole of time and the whole of space. All of this means that he can travel to anywhere in the universe and anywhen.

Being an alien, he lives for centuries and has the ability to survive mortal wounds by regenerating into a different person – i.e. a different actor can play the character.

From 1963 to the early 1980’s the series went from strength to strength, despite shaky special effects and crazy storylines.

However in 1989 it was finally axed as the producers thought it had run its course. Many people were upset about this and there were several campaigns to bring it back. The show was resurrected briefly in the 1990’s in a one off special before finally returning to our screens with a bigger budget and much improved storylines and special effects in 2005.

And it has gone from strength to strength since then as one of the flagship programmes  of the BBC.

I can’t imagine that happening in America.

If you haven’t seen Dr Who, here’s a taster for you, with a particularly creepy alien:

And here is another clip of the Doctor standing up to his mortal enemy – the Daleks:

Thankfully, Dr Who doesn’t show any signs of going away and there are plenty of other excellent drama series out there.

But alas I must say goodbye to Dexter Morgan. If you haven’t see it, I urge you to do so if you get the chance.

 You will thank me for it.

Over to you, dear reader.

What are your favourite TV programmes?

Have you ever suffered because the networks have prematurely terminated one of your favourite series?

Are you a Dexter fan?

Rooting For The Bad Guy

American television dramas have changed over the years. In the past, certainly in my youth, the philosophy was that the good guy had to win otherwise the TV audience would feel that evil had prevailed.

And in America, this went against the grain.

In Britain, we didn’t care about this at all. British drama was grittier, more realistic and sometimes the good guy came a cropper at the hands of the evil villain.

I love it when the bad guy triumphs. If you consider the situation in real life, no hero is so perfect that he can outwit and outsmart the villain. It doesn’t make sense if you think about it. 

I can understand the need to leave a movie theatre with a warm, fuzzy feeling because John Rambo has managed to single-handedly wiped out an entire army of malevolent bandits under the control of a ruthless psychopath. 

By and large I agree with that sentiment. Sometimes, however,  I want the hero to get his arse well and truly kicked and by the end of the film, I want to see him slink away in utter defeat, perhaps to come back stronger in the next instalment or maybe just to take it on the chin and realise that he is not utterly perfect.

And then there is the anti-hero; a guy who is inherently evil yet always seems to get away with murder.

My current favourite American TV series is Dexter, which tells the story of a psychopathic serial killer who works as a blood spatter forensic lab geek in the police force but uses that position to find potential victims.

The police want to bring bad guys to justice. Dexter wants to put them on a slab, stab them, cut their cold dead bodies into little pieces, pack the bits up in plastic bags and take them out to see and dump them where they will never be found.

And because he is a forensic specialist, he can hide all of the evidence and get away with it.

I watch every episode of the show and all the way through I am rooting for this sadistic bad guy. I want him to get away with murder. 

Purists may argue that he is, deep down, a good guy because the only people he kills are evil serial killers themselves. In a sense, Dexter is a good guy because he is handing out his own form of justice. Nevertheless, Dexter is a flawed character with a deep burning desire to kill.

That makes him a bad guy.

Even in the more conventional films and series, the bad guys are almost becoming lovable rogues. Let’s take another of my favourite bad guys, Dr Who’s nemesis – The Master.

The Master is a fellow time lord and a truly dark version of The Master. In the classic Dr Who series, he was pure evil and totally insane, using hypnosis to persuade people to help his evil plans. His catch phrase, as he stared into the eyes of his hapless victims was “I am The Master. You WILL obey me.”

In the reboot of Dr Who, The Master is still insane but is still eccentric and evil but has a deep charm, with much more humour – a charismatic bad guy who I actually, deep down, kind of hoped would win. His evil exploits in the new version of Dr Who have far exceeded anything the older Master could achieve – turning Earth into a giant warship while holding the Doctor prisoner for a year as well as, in a later episode, turning every single human into a copy of himself – the Master race, as he called it.

Yes the Doctor prevailed eventually but in each case there was a price to pay.

These days, TV series and movies are much more realistic generally. The heroes are flawed and the villains are charismatic and sometimes win.

Even James Bond suffered in his latest outing, Skyfall. I won’t reveal the story because I don’t like spoilers myself, but those of you who have seen it know exactly what I mean.

Regular readers know that one of my ambitions is to write a blockbusting novel. Maybe one day I will, but you can rest assured that because I love bad guys so much, I will endeavour to create the ultimate villain, an utterly contemptible man, but with a hidden charm that will, I hope, make quite a few readers start rooting for the bad guy.

I have some ideas and when I eventually start (maybe in November if I can force myself to have a go at the NaNoWriMo writing challenge) I hope to create a villain worthy of Dexter, The Master, Hannibal Lecter and/or Darth Vader when he was at his most evil.

Evil megalomaniacs should sometimes be allowed the freedom to make their plans come to fruition. 

The bad guy should sometimes win.

And I will continue to root for the bad guy – well sometimes anyway.

After all, we can’t let Jason Bourne, James Bond and Dr Who suffer too much, can we?

Over to you, dear reader - do you have a favourite bad guy?

Dexter the Cat

Picture the scene.


I am sitting on the sofa watching England thrash Scotland in the Rugby Union 6 Nations. I am happy because England are dominating the game. A smile forms on my face. Next to me is a small table with a cup of tea steaming gently. Next to the table is Liquorice the hellcat, watching me intently.

My eyes drift to the cat and my smile broadens.

“Hello Liquorice,” I say and gently pat the arm of the sofa to encourage her to come closer. Cats aren’t known for their obedience but on this occasion, the hellcat stands up, jumps nimbly over the cup of tea onto my lap and then leaps onto the arm of the sofa, assuming the position for a little bit of fuss.

The position is an amusing one. The arm of the sofa is quite wide allowing Liquorice to grip the sides with her front paws and crouch, raising her bum into the air so that I can stroke the length of her body.

She looks so cute that I momentarily forget that she is a dark hearted monster. She looks at me expectantly and I reach over and stroke her head, moving my hand gently down her body to the bottom of her tail. She raises her hind quarters more and actually starts purring.

My smile broadens even more. England are pressing the Scots and my eyes drift away from the cat as I continue to stroke her. I can hear her purring. England get a penalty.

I am relaxed – totally and utterly. Stroking a cat is, I hear, therapeutic, particularly when the cat in question is purring.

I’m happy and the cat is happy.

And then it happens.

Suddenly, without warning and without any provocation, Liquorice shows her true colours and attacks me with maximum prejudice, sinking her front claws into my hand and biting me at the same time.

As I jerk my hand away with a yelp of pain, my skin is opened up and several small spots of blood combine to form a tiny red stream.

My happiness is gone. I glare at the cat as she glares back at me.

“WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO THAT FOR?” I scream at her.

She stands her ground and grips the sofa arm more tightly with a look of venom.

I should know better. Liquorice can be very, very cute but you have to keep your eye on her. My raised voice has no effect whatsoever.

She stares defiantly. I try to read her body language and imagine what she would say if she could speak.

“You don’t scare me; you are nothing to me. This is MY territory. Just be thankful I allow you the privilege to pamper and massage me.”

Knowing that I have lost, I nurse my wounded hand – and my wounded pride.

I stop stroking her and concentrate on the Rugby. England score the penalty. I cheer. Liquorice is unmoved and remains on the sofa arm. I reach for the cup of tea.

A paw lashes out and claws reach my hand before my hand reaches the cup. Another spot of blood and another sharp pain.

“YOU LITTLE BUGGER!” I scream.

Liquorice stares back at me and, unbelievably, lashes out again, despite my pain and anger.

I am her prey. She is the hunter. She has no fear.

I recently read that cats are serial killers and are responsible for murdering several billion small animals per year. Somebody in the US has estimated that cats are responsible for between 8 billion and 24 billion small creatures a year. In essence, these lovable little creatures who sleep, purr and cuddle you are in reality monstrous serial killers who strike terror in the world of mice and birds and insects.

In the case of Liquorice, humans are a target too.

Take a look at this picture of Liquorice. How can such a tiny cute little moggy be such a psychopath?

By day, cats control their human pets using every technique they can to coerce us into keeping them warm and feeding them. Yet despite the amount of food that our cats eat, they still go outside and ruthlessly murder small animals with no pity and no remorse.

Imagine if domestic cats were much bigger? There is a reason why people don’t mess with leopards, tigers and lions.

In our house, the cats are banned from my bedroom, although occasionally Mrs PM sneaks Jasper and Poppy in before we get to sleep.

Why are they banned?

Because in the past, both Jasper and Poppy have seen my feet as woodland creatures and attacked them.

I dread to think what would happen if Liquorice were to spend the night in our bedroom. She has no qualms about stalking me around the house during day time. At night, when cats are at their most vigilant, what parts of my body would be easy prey for her?

I shudder at the thought.

When I think about serial killers, I am drawn to one of my favourite TV series to come out of the US. Dexter tells the tale of Dexter Morgan, a blood spatter expert who works for the Miami police, but in reality is a cold hearted monstrous killer who uses his position in the police to identify bad guys who then become victims that satisfy his dark urge to kill people.

Basically, his catchphrase is “you had better hope that the police get to you before I do”.

I love the idea of a homicidal maniac with a sense of morality and limits his killing spree to other murderous monsters who really deserve to die. Sadly, there is no getting away from the fact that he is a killer himself, however lovable he appears to be on the screen.

And that is why, I have decided that in the future, if we ever get a new cat I will call him or her Dexter (I am not fussy about what sex it will be).

Had Liquorice not already had a name, I would have called her something that reflected her murderous tendencies.

Sadly I couldn’t because Mrs PM put her foot down.

I think she might go for Dexter though because we both love the show and it is a cute name for what outwardly appears to be a cute animal.

That won’t be for a while because our three cats all have quite a few more years left in them.

I hope to show you more of our cats in a future post, with a small video or three to try to capture their personalities, and perhaps show their murderous tendencies.

With Liquorice, this shouldn’t be too difficult – and I apologise in advance for the swearing that will ensue when she inevitably tries to rip my hand off.