Trumped in America

I don’t normally write about politics but I’m going to break the habit by writing two posts about the subject; one far away and one a lot closer to home.

I’ll start with something that I can’t change but has had me ranting with the incredulity of it all: Donald Trump’s presidential campaign.

Before I get my soapbox out, let me just say that American politics is usually of no interest to me at all. When it appears on UK news, I tend to switch off – sometimes literally turning the television off. 

But this man has had me ranting like there is no tomorrow. At first, it was a joke and I actually chuckled at his antics and outrageous comments. I mean, how could he be serious? 

I thought it was a comedic publicity stunt, which I wouldn’t put past Donald Trump. I mean look at the guy! He has mad hair and a mad attitude.

And I complain about MY bad hair ...

He's like a walking parody of a politician, an idiot who allows his mouth to utter his thoughts without going through his mental firewall.

You can imagine his advisors saying "I don't think you should call all Mexicans rapists, Mr Trump!" only to be slapped down with such political incorrectness that you almost have to laugh at the absurdity of it.

Almost! Before you realise that he actually really believes it,

And now, after his recent wins, it’s looking likely that this eccentric nutcase will win the Republican nomination and be just a step away from the White House with only Hilary Clinton standing in his way.

How on earth has this happened?

From what I’ve read, a lot of Americans are just as incredulous as I am, but the truth is that his popularity reveals that a large percentage of Republicans actually agree with him. 

Has America gone mad?

Here are some things that this lunatic believes:

A great big wall should be built between the US and Mexico – and Mexico should pay for it.

11 million illegal immigrants should be deported, despite estimate that finding them and deporting them would cost in excess of $110 billion.

Climate change is just “bad weather”.

The US should use waterboarding as a means of interrogation.

Muslims should be tracked by law enforcement with all mosques in the US being put under surveillance.

Muslims should not be admitted into America. 

I wonder what happens to American Muslims – put under surveillance, obviously.

Even the Pope, the head  of the Roman Catholic church, has had a go at him, and we have had a debate in the UK parliament as whether he should be banned from the UK because of his xenophobic views, based on a petition that gained 570,000 signatures. 

Of course, it was never going to happen because the nutter may become president and we’re not going to enter a cold war with America, based on one idiot’s views. 

I don’t actually know whether I have faith in the American people to do the right thing. It’s the jingoism that surrounds the US elections that seems to matter rather than the important stuff. “We’re going to make America GREAT again!” is a war cry that is almost laughable. I would laugh if a British politician said it – in fact, I think most of them already have. The bottom line is that Britain is great DESPITE the arses who currently reside on the government side of the House of Commons.

And I’m sure that America is great too, despite what Trump says.

Moreover, Trump is a big fan of the right to bear arms. Yet, it seems like every day we hear about gun crime in the US with psychopaths committing mass murder. America would be much better if a would be politician promised to do something about the archaic gun laws over there.

I don’t understand why it is so important to have the right to bear arms. Any politician could make America greater by attacking important issues like this. Certainly Barack Obama did.

In the UK, guns are strictly controlled and because of this our murder rates due to firearms is tiny in comparison to the US.

The logic is there for all to see.

Worse, on the news today, I heard a report that even most Republicans don’t want Trump to be their candidate.  

So what’s going on across the pond?

I am praying that America sees sense and Trump himself is trumped! I have faith in the American people. I have visited America many times and I am certain that common sense will prevail.

Anyway, enough ranting – it’s time to end this with a bit of fun at Donald Trump’s expense. 

How about a bit of trumpeting for Trump?

Follow this link and have fun and let's hope that all of this is just a blip! 

American English

As a child, I wondered why Americans couldn’t spell. I thought to myself “Surely Americans should be able to spell basic words – after all, don’t they have spelling competitions?”

I couldn’t understand why Americans couldn’t spell words like colour (color), favourite (favorite), honour (honor), analyse (analyze), analogue (analog), encyclopaedia (encyclopedia), manoeuvre (maneuvre), cheque (check), defence (defense), through (thru) and plough (plow).

Eventually somebody pointed out to me that Americans spell some of their words differently.

“No!” I said with more than a hint of incredulity.

And then somebody told me that Americans use different words for everyday objects.

“NO!!!” I said.

I was young and naïve – and stupid!

The good news is that over the years we have been exposed to America via music, films etc. and now most British people are fully aware of the subtle differences between our tongues.

I’ve travelled to America several times and had to smile at some of the differences, even though I’ve understood what was meant. Occasionally I have said something to an American who has stared at me as if I have just crawled out of a primeval soup, simply because I have used British words rather than their American equivalents.

For example, I was in a café (diner) in New York and, having finished my meal, I called the waitress over and said

“Can I have the bill please?”

She stared at me for a second and said “The what?”

Thankfully I recalled the correct term.

“Can I have the check, please?”

I have been caught off guard myself though.

For example, I was walking around the French Quarter in New Orleans, enjoying the ambience of the place when a gentleman walked up to me and said

“I like your sneakers.”

“My what?” I said.

It was only when he pointed at my feet that I realised he meant trainers.

Here are some other examples:

British	American
Aubergine	Eggplant
Autumn	Fall
Bloke	Guy
Bonnet (car)	Hood
Car Park	Parking Lot
Caravan	Trailer
Cashier	Teller
Chemist	Drug Store
Courgette	Zucchini
CV (curriculum vitae)	Resume
Diversion	Detour
Exhaust Pipe	Tail Pipe
Estate Agent	Realtor
Fairy Cake	Cup Cake
Film	Movie
Headmaster	Principal
Holiday	Vacation
Ice Lolly	Popsicle
I’m tired	I’m beat
Lorry	Truck
Maths	Math
Motorway	Freeway
Mucking Around	Goofing Off
Nappy	Diaper
Off-License	Liquor Store
Pavement	Sidewalk
Petrol	Gas
Postman	Mailman
Post Code	Zip Code
Rubber	Eraser
Rubbish	Garbage
Semi-Detached House	Duplex
Solicitor	Lawyer
Sweets	Candy
Tap	Faucet
Take Away	Take Out
Toilet	Restroom
Treacle	Molasses
Wardrobe	Closet

In some cases, the words used could lead to utter confusion. For example in America the equivalent of the British First Floor is the Ground Floor so the British First Floor is the American Second Floor. This has caused trauma in hotels where I've found myself trying to get into the wrong room.

Here are some more examples:

A British scone is an American biscuit and a British biscuit is an American cookie.

British crisps are American chips and British chips are American fries.

British jam is American jelly and British jelly is American jell-o

American soccer is British football and American football is a poor version of British rugby. Only kidding - my problem is I just don't understand American Football.

Some American words annoy me a little because to me they just don't sound right. Take for example math. As far as I am concerned, it really should be maths because maths is short for mathematics. Call me pedantic if you like but whenever I hear it on an American TV show, I find myself yelling "MATHS! IT'S MATHS!!!!!" at the screen.

Another one is aluminum. In Britain, the element is called aluminium. "IT'S ALUMINIUM, NOT BLOODY ALUMINUM!" I scream. My TV does bear the brunt of my rants sometimes. And the final one is already. Now this word of course is used by British people but Americans use it in a really bizarre and irritating way. For example - "Tidy your room already" and "Shut up already". What does that mean?

Apart from that, I can cope with the other variations - in fact I prefer some American words, like goofing off and garbage.

There is one final word, commonly used in British and American English that could lead to major confusion and possibly violence. Next time I see a woman in America who happens to own a small but magnificent horse-like beast that brays I shall choose my words very carefully if I want to complement her on having such a splendid creature. I wouldn't want to have my butt kicked.