Friendly Questions

Welcome to a slightly overcast South Manchester. The cloud is a light grey and it is fairly bright and it is quite clear that we are starting to warm up in the UK as we approach the beginning of spring. I like this time of year as it signals the end of winter. The sorry looking trees are beginning to sprout their new leaves, flowers are starting to open and the birds seem a lot happier. If you are lucky enough to be walking around dawn, the birds’ songs are more joyful and louder as the sun rises around this time of year. 

It's very pleasant. 

Shall we answer some silly questions from Sunday Stealing? 

1. What emotion do you experience the most?

That’s a strange and difficult question. It depends. When I am at work, I experience a mixture of frustration and annoyance which mutates into happiness as the end of the day approaches. I am usually quite content on workday evenings before repeating the cycle again. At weekends I am mostly happy. 

I think generally I am quite a happy chap.

2. What embarrasses you most in front of other people?

I am lucky really in that I feel quite comfortable being embarrassed. I have spent most of my time on this blog pointing out my flaws, telling all of you wonderful readers (both of you) about embarrassing things that have happened to me. Such is my self-deprecation on this blog that you probably think I wander around Manchester like a deranged, mad-haired and half-blind fool being laughed at my fellow real Mancunians (as opposed to Plastic ones like myself). I have told you all about my mad hair, my poor eyesight and my baboon-like features. I have told you about times when I have embarrassed myself in public, like mistaking a fellow diner for a waitress in a restaurant, saying and doing stupid things at the most inopportune moments and generally having people chuckle at my numerous faux pas. 

The truthful answer to the question is “not much” to be honest. I have lived with embarrassment most of my life and I regard it as an annoying but amusing old friend. 

3. What do you love most about yourself?

I think I can be quite a funny guy when I want to be and under that odd persona that I have described in my answer to the above question, I am a nice guy – deep down.

4. Who has influenced you the most?

Lots of people have influenced me both within and outside school and work. They are too numerous to mention and picking out just one person would be unfair to the rest of them.

5. What would you like to change about yourself?

My hair, my appearance and my age. 

6. If you could do one thing for the rest of your life, what would it be?

I would like to travel for the rest of my life. If I ever acquired a life-changing sum of money, that is what I would do. 

7. If you had the option of adopting a baby fox of baby koala, which would it be?

There are quite a few urban foxes in our area and I often see them trotting around the streets when I go for my 6am walk around the neighbourhood. They are cute but usually a little skinny and clearly wild. Since they are related to dogs, I think having a baby fox, it might be possible to keep it and train it as you would a normal dog. I have seen a fox cub and they are quite cute. Koalas are also cute and I have actually held one (back in 2005):

To be honest though, I think they would be better off in their own habitat.

8. If you had to be on a reality show, which would it be?

I hate reality TV shows with a passion – except one. The only one I really like is the UK version of the Apprentice, which is full of arrogant, egomaniacal “entrepreneurs” who consider themselves to be the most amazing people on the planet. The truth is that more often than not, they are basically full of crap and not very good at all. 

Therefore I would go onto the Apprentice to basically try and expose them for what they truly are and also (and I would love to do this), just call Lord Alan Sugar by his first name, as he insists on being referred to as “Lord Sugar” by the candidates. That said, I do like Alan Sugar – he can be quite funny. 

If you have never seen the UK version of the Apprentice, just watch the ten minute video of Apprentice disasters below. It is hilarious.

9. If you could live anywhere in the world for a year, where would it be?

Hong Kong. I love the place. I worked there on an off for a few years and then spent a few months there to finish off. If we ever head across to the Far East we always try to pay a visit to the city. It is like seeing an old friend.

10. How many bones have you broken?

I am quite lucky in that I have never broken a bone. Watch me break something now.

11. What do you fear about getting older?

I like my frame of mind as I get older. I am enjoying life a lot more these days. I’m not too happy about things starting to sag, droop and fading to grey though as they inevitably will as the years pass.

12. How do you relieve stress?

I allow the introvert within me to take control. I usually immerse myself in my own little world, focusing on anything that will distract me from the source of stress. For example, I will just do something that feels good, like listening to music, go for a walk, watch a bit of TV, read a book or something similar. It usually works.

13. Are your feet the same size?

Yes – I have boring feet. 

14. 100 kittens or 3 baby sloths?

I love cats so I would almost certainly take on the 100 kittens – just as long as I had a bigger house with a big enclosed garden that didn’t allow any other creatures into it. 

15. What do you want more than anything else in life?

Retirement. I have taken the first steps by reducing my working hours to four days instead of five from April. I’m still not sure exactly when it will happen, a couple of years probably, but it will be great when it happens.