Saturday, 19 December 2020

Christmas Questions

 


Welcome to sunny South Manchester on a mild but sunny Saturday afternoon. Lockdown still continues with Manchester in the highest tier, although our rates have fallen dramatically and we are below the average in England, which is being buoyed by a rather larger increase in the south east of the country around the London area.

I have now finished work for the year and can enjoy a leisurely two week break, within the confines of the restrictions of course. Now it is time to relax and enjoy what I can of the Christmas and New Year period without the spectre of work to haunt me.

I am writing this on Saturday it isn’t really Sunday Stealing – but who cares? Let’s have some fun with a Christmas theme.

1. What’s your favourite thing about the holidays?

Given that Christmas falls in December, four days after the shortest day of the year (which is on Monday), the weather and the darkness do not really appeal. It is usually a cold, dark, damp and unpleasant time of the year. This year aside, it is usually a good time to meet friends and family and generally have a fun time with get-togethers and parties, over-indulging on food and drink and generally having a great time. This year will be different because of the restrictions but I will do my best. Of course the best thing of all is no work. I love that.

2. Do you send out Christmas cards and if so how many do you send?

I no longer send any Christmas cards. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not because I am a miserable Scrooge-like old git; it is because Christmas cards are a waste of paper, a waste of time and a waste of money. We still get them but I never return them. I prefer to talk to people or see them rather than just wasting a bit of card. 

3. Be honest: holiday newsletters. Love ‘em or hate ‘em?

I hate them. They are usually a way of telling the story of the last year and they are too impersonal for me. I would never bore anybody with such a thing.

4. Be honest: photo cards. Love ‘em or hate ‘em?

The same as newsletters. 

5. How soon do you start shopping?

I hate shopping but Christmas shopping is even worse. The shops and stores are usually crammed full of people and the queues are massive. I return home after such trips feeling stressed tired and in need of a stiff drink. These days, I just shop online. So much more relaxing. For Christmas, I like to get it all done by the end of November.

6. Real or fake tree?

I like the smell of real trees but they are an absolute pain in the backside to maintain. They shed their needles all over the place – even the ones that are “guaranteed not to shed their needles”. And when you finally take them outside they deposit the rest of them all over your house. 

So we have a fake tree. They are less messy and much more cost-effective.  

7. When do you put up your tree?

We usually put the tree about two weeks before the big day, but this year, given the circumstances, we put it up on 1st December.

8. When do you take down your tree?

We usually take it down the day after New Year’s Day. 

9. Describe your typical tree (size, decorations, type)

The tree is about 6ft 3inches and you can see it here.


This year the tree has a dual purpose. It is a Christmas decoration and a plaything for my two kittens.
10. What do you top your tree with?
A star.
11. Do you put Christmas lights outside your house?
No – maybe I am a little odd in that respect but I think it is a pointless exercise.
12. Is there a wreath hanging on your door?
Normally, yes there is, but we haven’t bothered this year – not sure why to be honest.
13. Do you hang up stockings?
Not any more. The kids have grown up an left home.
14. Your favourite Christmas Movie(s)
I like Die Hard – and yes, despite what people say, it is a Christmas movie.
I also like Scrooged, with Bill Murray. 
Finally, I love It’s a Wonderful Life – I shed a tear every time I see it.
15. Be honest: A Christmas movie you hate
Love, Actually? Is supposed to be a Christmas movie – it is bloody awful. I could write an entire blog post on how dreadful it is. 
16. Favourite Christmas Song(s)
Here we go (in no particular order):

 

 

 

 

and from my home town of Walsall:

17. Be honest: If I hear this/these Christmas songs again I will throw up

I am not even going to post them – just look them up if you don’t know them (which I seriously doubt).

Wham! – Last Christmas

Mariah Carey – All I Want for Christmas is You

Cliff Richard – Mistletoe and Wine

They are ALL awful!

18. Give or Receive?

Both. That is the point, surely?

19. Eggnog or Mulled Cider?

I have never fancied eggnog. It looks like vomit. 

I also like cider – but it makes my stomach churn if I have too much of it. I will say Mulled Cider (I a small glass).

20. Ham or Turkey?

Can I say both? Of course I can.

And Finally …

Since this is a weird Christmas and this will be my last post before the day, I will sign off by wishing you all the best Christmas possible and a Happy New Year. 

I will leave you with some alternative lyrics that I posted waaaaayyyyyyyyy back in 2009 (my second year of blogging). These are my own alternative lyrics to Jingle Bells. 

Merry Christmas.

Dashing to the shops every single bloody day

Join another queue, pushing people out the way

I need to buy so many presents and a lot of trash

I need to win the lottery cos I’ve just run out of cash


Oh Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells

Jingle all the way

Oh what fun it is to throw your hard earned cash away

Oh Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells

Jingle all the way

Oh what fun it is to throw your hard earned cash away


Eating lots of food and drinking lots of beer

I am getting fat again, much fatter than last year

The weather’s looking nice; I think it might have snowed

And if I eat another thing I think I might explode


Oh Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells

Jingle all the way

Oh what fun it is to double the amount you weigh

Oh Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells

Jingle all the way

Oh what fun it is to double the amount you weigh


Listening to the Queen and watching crap TV

Playing silly games with my entire family

Everybody’s tired and one or two begin to snore

But later we will have to eat and drink again some more


Oh Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells

Jingle all the way

Oh what fun it is to fall asleep on Christmas Day

Oh Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells

Jingle all the way

Oh what fun it is to fall asleep on Christmas Day


So a Merry Christmas to the readers of this post

I like to raise my glass and to propose a toast

To everyone in Blogland; every woman, every man

Here’s to a fun-filled holiday from The Plastic Mancunian


Oh Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells

Jingle all the way

Oh what fun it is to stuff your face on Christmas Day

Oh Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells

Jingle all the way

Oh what fun it is to stuff your face on Christmas Day

24 comments:

Pandora Behr said...

And a very happy Xmas to you to PM. Funny, you love the Wizzard song - I think it just makes me homesick for England, and cold Christmases. I've still to get caught by #whamageddon - look it up. Mind you, I've stayed away from the shops this year. Have a good one.

Pand

Elephant's Child said...

LOVE your alternative words to Jingle Bells. And how I wish that they replaced the original ones which were being spewed out in the shopping centres the last time I reluctantly went to one.
Happy Christmas to you and your family (which of course includes the furry four legged members).

Bev Sykes said...

I like your Jingle Bells. As a jingle writer myself, I appreciate the work that went into it.

As for #3 and #4 ... sorry!

Kwizgiver said...

I would love to read why you hate Love Actually. It's not a favorite, but I do watch it every year.

Enjoy your holiday! I have a day and a half before break begins from school.

Susan said...

I hope you enjoy your time off. Merry Christmas!

Ordinarily Just Me said...

Absolutely loved your jingle. Thank You, it made me smile. Happy holidays to you and yours.
OJM

Plastic Mancunian said...

Hi Pand,

That's hilarious - #whamageddon - I positively try to avoid it so I think I would do well.

:o)

Cheers

PM

Plastic Mancunian said...

Hi EC,

Sombody asked me if they could borrow then - a small band doing a local gig in Yorkshire somewhere. Of course I said "Yes!".

:o)

Cheers

PM

Plastic Mancunian said...

Hi Bev,

No need to apologise. I would never send either - but if I received them I would read them. I just don't like the idea really - I like the personal touch.

:o)

Cheers

PM

Plastic Mancunian said...

Hi Kwizgiver,

It is just so awful. I was dragged to the cinema to see it and about half way through I was tempted just to walk out.

A terrible film. I might just write that post - but it would mean having to watch it again for research and I am not sure I can commit to that.

:o)

Cheers

PM

Plastic Mancunian said...

HI Susan,

I will - time to relax.

:o)

Cheers

PM

Plastic Mancunian said...

Hi OJM,

I've changed a couple of other Christmas songs too. I think my favourite is the 12 days of Xmas.

:o)

Cheers

PM

Lori said...

Your Christmas tree is beautiful!
How funny about Last Christmas. I posted about that movie which of course includes that song and many more of the Wham songs. I loved the movie, but it really is silly. It just made me laugh and it stuck with me. Loved your answers! Have a very Merry Christmas!

https://lorisbusylife.blogspot.com/

LA Paylor said...

I always look forward to visiting here. Have a nice work break!

CountryDew said...

Love your revised lyrics. I hope you enjoy your work break, and I wish for you and yours (new little four-legged furry friends included) a Happy Christmas and may you and the rest of the world have a much better New Year!

zippiknits.....sometimes said...

Grinch! lol

Ok, this is the best thing I've read so far. Of Course it's also the FIRST thing I've read, but who's counting?

I loved your alternate Jingle Bells lyrics. What a gas!

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! This is my last post until after the Hols, too.

Plastic Mancunian said...

Hi Lori,

Thanks for the kind comments about the tree. It was all Mrs PM's work but I have the job of repairman when the cats try to dismantle it.

:o)

Cheers

PM

Plastic Mancunian said...

Hi LeeAnna,

Thanks very much. I am loving not being at work.

:o)

Cheers

PM

Plastic Mancunian said...

Hi CD,

I am very confident that 2021 will be much better than 2020. It can't be any worse, can it?

My four-legged furry friends wish you Merry Christmas too - even though they are dismantling the tree as I type.

:o)

Cheers

PM

Plastic Mancunian said...

Hi Zippiknits,

HA HA! Nice opening line :o)

I might make alternative lyrics a tradition.

:o)

Cheers

PM

Me, Myself, and I said...

I just watched Die Hard last night! It's a GREAT Christmas movie :) Happy Christmas PM :)

2 gators said...

Love your Jingle :) hope you have a very Merry Christmas as well

Plastic Mancunian said...

Hi Me, Myself and I,

I truly is a great movie. I like the 2nd and 3rd too.

:o)

Cheers

PM

Plastic Mancunian said...

Hi 2 gators,

Thanks - and back at you.

:o)

Cheers

PM