Personal Development

Welcome to sunny South Manchester on day 167 of the lockdown (or not depending on your viewpoint). We are still under additional restrictions in the city and it feels a bit like Groundhog Week, with everything repeating every single seven day period. 

At least the football season is starting.

Shall we answer some silly questions? I think so (courtesy of Sunday Stealing as usual). 

1. A person I like and why I like them

Is this a person I know or a famous person? I shall assume it is a person I know. 

I went to university with a great group of people and am still in touch with quite a few. One in particular, I shall call him Wally to protect the guilty, is a great lad. He was best man at my wedding and the reason is that he has a really dry sense of humour and is also one of the cleverest people I know. He and I have been friends for 38 years and, although he lives in London, we still stay in touch and meet up for a university reunion every year – except this year sadly. He is a funny guy and we share the same outlook on life. In fact, my very first trip abroad was with him to Amsterdam and the Oktoberfest in Munich where we got into some scrapes, including almost being indoctrinated by Scientologists. 

2. A famous person I’ve been compared to.

In terms of looks, I have been compared to The Proclaimers, a Scottish pop band from Scotland, Jerry Springer and Joe 90. It’s the blond hair and glasses you see. My hair is no longer blonde really – it has darkened over the years and there are flecks of grey on the sides – but that doesn’t stop people. 

On one occasion I was out with some guys from Mrs PM’s workplace and one of them, like me, has blond hair and glasses and a drunk guy wobbled up to us and shouted “It’s the Proclaimers! Give us a song lads!”

Here are The Proclaimers in case you are wondering with a picture of me beside them for comparison (it was taken a few years ago). 

I don’t have a Scottish accent so I don’t think I would fit into the band. Here they are performing.

3. Best thing that happened to me this week

Absolutely nothing of note has happened to me this week. It is Sunday and only the start of the week.

4. Weird things I do when I’m alone.

I sing very badly to songs in my music collection and if it is a very good rock song I may even stand up and play the air guitar.

I have conversations with Poppy, our one remaining cat. She thinks I am a nutcase.

I write garbage in the name of freewriting.

5. How I’d spend $10,000

That’s easy – I would travel to a place I haven’t been to before – that is assuming we are not still in the clutches of a virus.

6. My last night out in detail

It was Mrs PM’s birthday celebrations a couple of weeks ago. Mrs PM had planned three celebrations but because of the restrictions we were limited to just the two of us rather than friends and family. She had booked a table in a pub in Manchester city centre called The Refuge for pre-meal drinks but she had to reduce the numbers to just the two of us. It’s a very nice restaurant and bar in one of Manchester’s most iconic buildings.

After the Refuge we walked a short distance to a Japanese Teppanyaki restaurant called Sapporo and, as is typical in Manchester, it chose that moment to absolutely pour down with rain. I had not brought an umbrella and got absolutely drenched, causing some amusement for our fellow socially distanced diners.

It was a very pleasant evening.

7. Something that makes me sad when I think about it.

The current state of politics in the United Kingdom. We have a clown for a Prime Minister, we have left the European Union and are in the process of utterly ruining what was a perfectly wonderful country. And the latest thing that the Clown has done is to appoint the homophobic misogynist former Prime Minister of Australia, Tony Abbott, as a trade adviser. He was massively unpopular down under and now we have to suffer him too. I despair I really do. 

8. Something I’m currently worrying about

Apart from the pandemic? Well after the pandemic has done its best to destroy the economy, Brexit rears it’s ugly head again when the transition period ends at the end of the year. The stupid stubbornness of our Clown Prime Minister means that this deadline will not shift even though there is a pandemic and all the signs point to us crashing out without a deal, which will further destroy the economy and render us a bloody laughing stock.

How has it come to this?

9. Something I do without realizing.

Ranting. I am making a supreme effort to try to see the funny side of things instead of ranting about them but it is hard, dear reader, when there is nothing to laugh at. See my answers to (7) and (8).

10. A drunken story

On a university reunion in Barcelona last year, on the first night we had rather a lot of beers and when I got back to the hotel, I noticed a glass wall with a bar the other side and sitting next to the glass wall on the other side was a table full of women who were posing for a photograph. I walked up to the wall and tried to photobomb it. They found that amusing until I got Wally (see question 1) to take a photo of me next to the wall with the women photobombing my photograph. I tried gesticulating and they just thought I was a crazed lunatic. 

When I woke up next morning I looked at my phone and wondered why there was a photograph of me looking like an insane Joe 90 puppet next to a glass wall with the curtain drawn on the other side. 

Yes – that’s right. They had drawn a curtain so that they didn’t have to see the drunken fool on the other side. Wally reminded me of my antics and they rest of my mates simply laughed at my expense for the rest of the day.

I am 57 years old – not 18! You wouldn’t think that would you?

11. Something I regret

Having a photograph taken of me in a hotel in Barcelona next to a glass wall.

12. 5 things within touching distance.

A laptop, a mug full of steaming hot tea, a pile of CDs, a window, a hat.

13. Something I’ve lied about

I don’t tell lies because Mrs PM can spot them a mile off. She refers to my “lying voice” and “my lying face”. 

14. Lyrics that apply to my current mood

Because of this pandemic …

I believe I can see the future

'Cause I repeat the same routine

I think I used to have a purpose

But then again, that might have been a dream

This is from the song “Every Day is Exactly the Same” by Nine Inch Nails. Here it is in its full glory.

15. My longest relationship

That would be with Mrs PM of course.