The Crafty Fifty Meme, Part One

Here's yet another meme from Sunday Stealing - it is two parter and for once I managed to catch the first part - so I don't have to bore you with all fifty questions.

Here we go:

1. Introduce yourself.

Hi – I’m Dave and my alias on this internet-type thing is “The Plastic Mancunian”. I am 47 years old in body and about 14 in mind. I am a strange man.

2. What happened to question 2?

The pixies came into the author's room in the middle of the night and napalmed it. They're violent those pixies.

3. What happened to question 3?

It was there a minute ago. My cat must have eaten it.

4. What happened to question 4?

It ran away to London to seek its fortune and become Lord Mayor - let's face it - it could do a much better job than Boris Johnson.

5. Did you ever get into a bar and drink before you were 21?

I certainly did. It is legal to go into a bar and consume alcohol at the age of 18 in the UK. That said, I actually made it into a pub at the sweet age of 16 and drank a couple of pints. How I managed that I have no idea because I looked about 10 years old. In fact, the last time I was asked my age in a pub was when I was 30 – I kid you not!

6. What countries have you been to?

England, Republic of Ireland, Scotland, Wales, Holland, Belgium, France, Germany, Italy, Spain, Portugal, Switzerland, Czech Republic, Croatia, Malta, Greece, United States, Canada, Trinidad and Tobago, The Bahamas, Barbados, South Africa, China, Russia, Thailand, Australia – and if we’re being pedantic, Vatican City and Hong Kong.

7. Do you watch MTV anymore?

No – I watch Kerrangg, Scuzz and sometimes Q. MTV simply plays crap music.

8. What do you think about Oprah?

I think she is quite a powerful woman and I wish I had her money. I’m glad she’s not English.

9. What happened to question 9?

It lost the will to live and threw itself off my roof. It is now in that great meme in the sky.

10. You need a new pair of jeans: what store do you go to first?

I would probably go to Next or Burtons – but then Mrs PM would drag me to a weird shop that sold weird jeans and make me buy them (citing them as being the height of fashion).

11. Did you ever watch The O.C.?

Absolutely not. I heard it was absolute bilge and several people who have actually watched it have confirmed it.

12. What kind of car do you drive?

I drive a clapped out old Ford Escort.

13. Honestly, is that car insured?

Barely.

14. Do you like sushi?

I love sushi.

15. Have you ever been to Tiffany & Co. or Saks 5th Ave?

Nope. Why would I?

16. Did your parents spoil you growing up?

Not at all. My mother was very strict (she’s mellowed a little) and we had many clashes as we grew up because I am an anarchist. In the end I simply stopped listening to her. My old man’s plan was for me to make my own way with a little guidance from him – I thank him for that.

17. Do you like roller coasters?

I used to like them as a child but then something happened in America that gave me the fear – I would tell you the name of the thing but I have expelled it from my brain. All I can tell you is that it resides in Los Angeles and I am scared of it to this day.

18. What magazine(s) do you buy regularly or subscribe to?

I usually buy “Classic Rock”.

19. Do you remember the old WB show “Popular”?

Nope!

20. When you go out do you prefer to go to a dance club or to a bar?

I prefer a bar but am frequently dragged to dance clubs by my dance music loving missus. She knows I hate dance music yet insists on going to these places “for a boogie”. I have to tie her up to get her into a bar that plays rock music.

21. What do you think about gay marriage?

I totally agree with it. I have two gay friends who live a couple of doors away who are very happily married. If it makes people happy, why oppose it?

22. Who do you think will be the next president?

Oprah Winfrey.

23. Are you registered to vote?

Of course I am – this isn’t America you know.

24. Do you own an iPad?

Yes – to cover my eye when its sore. Oh – iPad? I thought you said “Eye Patch”. No – iPad's are a complete waste of technology – an iPhone for people with big hands and bad eyesight. Mrs PM likes them though so she may end up with one. I will stick to my laptop thanks.

25. Is your bathroom filled with beauty stuff?

I live with a woman – what do you think?

See you for part two.