Pinterest Part Two

 

Welcome to sunny South Manchester, where we have bright blue skies, peppered with white clouds and a lovely temperature for a nice three mile walk down by the river in the morning. 

News this week – I’ve bought a piano and have already started to teach myself how to play the thing. I knew it would be hard and I am currently trying to get my brain communicate with the fingers on my left hand and right hand. I knew this would be tricky and I was right. I will persevere though and hopefully have a lot of fun on the way. I can vaguely read music, having played a trombone in my youth, so the music theory side of things should give me a minor head start.

Also I discovered yesterday the tragic news that Taylor Hawkins, drummer of the Foo Fighters, has died at the young age of 50 while on tour in South America. The Foo Fighters are one of my favourite bands and I may just write a tribute post to for Taylor later this week. 

Rest in Peace.

In the meantime, I’ll distract myself with some questions, as usual, from Sunday Stealing. 

1. Are you living a meaningful life.

I think so. I wrote a series of six posts about “the Meaning of Life” way back in October through to November 2015 where I covered the weirdness of life. Have a read if you are feeling bored. 

If you look at a template for what is a “meaningful life” I have ticked a lot of the boxes and probably done a little more in some cases and less in others. I’m quite happy where I am at the moment and as I approach the next phase, which is winding down to retirement, I am looking at starting a few other things, for example taking up the piano, in preparation for that as well as looking for potential new hobbies, or taking existing ones up to a higher level. 

I hope when I shuffle off this mortal coil I will have been able to say that it was meaningful as my soul leaves and embarks upon the next journey, through the stars to try to find out if L. Ron Hubbard was telling the truth about aliens. Only kidding – I plan to live forever!

2. What’s the one thing you cannot live without?

Mrs PM. She’s been my rock and my best friend for almost 24 years now. She somehow puts up with me and my weirdness and makes me feel vaguely human.

If you are talking about objects then I guess that would be my smartphone. 

3. When is it acceptable, if ever, to break the law

I would only think that it might be acceptable to break the law in order to save somebody or prevent them from dying. It’s a difficult one though. The truth is, I have probably broken the law inadvertently, mainly because there are some crazy laws around that we don’t actually know about. I know that, for example, in England, believe it or not, it is illegal to be drunk in a pub. And I have broken that one definitely.

4. What do you want your final words to be

“Onwards and upwards”.

5. What do you think are the five most beautiful things in the world?

I’m not going to talk about people here because people aren’t “things”. Here are some off the top of my head (there are many more I can think of).

A sunrise or sunset over the sea on a beautiful sandy beach.

Iguazu Falls (both in Brazil and Argentina).

Paris in summer.

The Amalfi coast in Italy.

The Blue Lagoon in Iceland.

6. What makes you feel empowered?

I don’t really like the word “empowered” because it has kind of been abused. At work I was told that we, as team members, were “empowered” to make our own choices. Now call me an old cynic if you like, but I immediately took this to mean that it put you in the firing line should something go wrong. I often see people, particularly in the cult of celebrity, claiming to feel “empowered” – and to be honest, I struggle to understand what they mean by that.

The way I see it is that I am a human being – my OWN human being – and I can choose to do and say what I like if I have the urge to do so. In that way I am “empowered” just to be myself and be the master of my own destiny. 

I do not see myself as a celebrity would see himself/herself and abuse the word to increase their status in the world of fame by empowering themselves to go on a “journey” to a “better place”. 

We are all living our own lives and so should it remain.

7. Which is more important–what you say, or how you say it?

Both are equally important in my view.

8. Do you live to work, or work to live?

I definitely work to live. If I had enough money stashed away, work would be the first casualty.

9. How do you think the world will change in 10 years? 50? 100?

If I am being optimistic, I would like to see the world come together as a global community, embracing each other’s cultures and having the ability to just be good to one another. I hope to see amazing technological wonders and a general improvement on where we are at the moment.

If I am being realistic, then I suspect we will have lots of ups and downs over the next 100 years. I still think that technology will improve but politically, we seem to be in a bad place that will get worse before it gets better.

If I am being pessimistic then I think that global warming will rear its ugly head, growing over us like a huge malevolent cloud that we will no longer be able to ignore. Given recent events, I suspect that we may see another pandemic (after all the last one before Covid was 100 years ago), and the sabre rattling of Russia and the lunacy of places like North Korea mean that war will not go away but be walking alongside us like an evil companion.

I hope the optimist in me is correct.

10. What is something you’re certain you’ll never experience?

I will never ever ever EVER jump out of an airplane with a big rag on strings attached to my back (commonly known as a “parachute”).

11. What one responsibility do you wish you didn’t have?

Household chores.

12. What is something you’re embarrassed that you’re so good at?

I am good at maths and excellent at telling computers what to do. Consequently, I look like a geeky nerd and I sound like one sometimes. A female friend once told me that she was initially scared to talk to me because (in her words) “I looked too clever”. Thankfully she overcame that particular obstacle and soon realised that I am a weird human being who can sometimes be extremely stupid.

13. What’s the one thing you most want to achieve before you die?

I would love to have a book published (if I could write) but also, as I said above, be able to play a piano reasonably well. I will attack those and more as I meander through what remains of my life. 

14. What’s something that offends you?

Politicians lying and using their status to change the world for the worse. This is personified magnificently by a man called Vladimir Putin at the moment.

15. What makes you most angry about the country?

The fact that we left the European Union under a tissue of lies and those who voted to do so were influenced by the most horrific human beings in the United Kingdom, people like Nigel Farage, Jacob Rees-Mogg and Boris Johnson amongst others. 

I must not rant (I’ve done well so far this year).

Swap Bot Part Two

Welcome to a very sunny and reasonably warm Sunday afternoon in South Manchester. Spring is definitely in the air and we will soon be able to hopefully spend a little more time outdoors. On Friday we went to a wedding in deepest brightest Lancashire, at a hall in the middle of the countryside on a beautiful day that enabled to sit outside briefly in the sunshine with a glass of champagne as the bride and groom were photographed in an ideal location. 

It was lovely.

Anyway, it’s Sunday now so I am going to answer some silly questions courtesy of Sunday Stealing. 

Let’s dive in, shall we?

1. Do you like sushi?

I love sushi and I also love sashimi. I had tried it before we travelled to Japan, but once there I had lots of it. In Kyoto, we went to a restaurant that specialised in sushi and sashimi and the idea was that we would have a mixture, rather like tapas. Our selection was good and we ended up in a weird conversation with two drunk businessmen who happened to be sitting next to us. It was weird because they were drunk but more importantly because they could only speak about ten words of English, that’s eight words more than we knew in Japanese. In the end, he bought us his favourite sushi as a gift, and we returned the favour by buying him and his friend a beer in return. He tried to persuade us to go with him on a bar crawl around the old town in Kyoto. I knew this because he showed us the area on his phone, pointed to his beer and said two of the words he knew: “You come”! We had to politely refuse – but the sushi he bought was divine.

2. What colour is your car?

My car is a strange kind of silver colour. It isn’t silver exactly because I have parked next to a car that I consider to be silver and it definitely doesn’t match. It’s probably got a bizarre name like “goblin silver” or “paean silver” or something else that is pretentious and wholly inaccurate.

3. What is your favourite thing about the place where you live?

I live about five miles south of Manchester city centre with great transport links into the city itself and enough close by to keep me entertained. If I fancy a little greenery and nature, there is a great area within walking distance or I can drive south into Cheshire in about half an hour. There are great links to other cities from Manchester itself and we live reasonably close to Manchester Airport for when we eventually go travelling again. 

4. Are there brands of certain items that you will ONLY buy that brand? i.e. paper towels, ketchup etc.

I guess so. It depends on what it is I suppose. With more expensive items like laptops, tablets and phones I am very selective in what I buy. When it comes to household stuff, I don’t really care. Same goes for food but there are certain things I always buy because I like the taste.

5. Are you allergic to any food? Animals? Plants? Medicines?

I don’t think I am allergic to anything other than the pollen that gives me hay fever in June. Ah – I've just realised that I am actually allergic to pine trees. I used to have a couple in an older house and one hot summer’s day I decided to trim the. I had a T shirt on and went right in there with the sheers. When I came out my arms were both red and itchy with a weird looking rash. It dissipated after a few hours but the next time I did it the same thing happened.

6. Have you ever been stung or bitten by an animal?

I’ve been bitten and scratched by just about every cat I’ve ever owned. That is mostly my fault for provoking them. I have been bitten twice by dogs when I was a child – unprovoked, I might add. 

7. Do you have a favourite bird? Do you feed the bird at your house or the park?

I don’t really have a favourite bird. That doesn’t mean that I dislike them – I just haven’t bothered investigating them. We do have a bird feeding contration on a tree in the garden but I am aware that squirrels are probably more likely to eat the food and that cats are likely to get involved if we aren’t careful.

8. What would you recommend binging on Netflix or similar?

Mrs PM got hold of Disney+ for six months free with her phone company so I have been catching up on the Marvel series – all of which I love. I’ve also watched The Mandalorian which was quite good (I usually prefer Star Trek to Star Wars). 

I am currently watching the last season of The Expanse on Amazon, which is amazing. 

Also, we are currently watching Vikings and I have to say that if you haven’t seen it then just dive in. It is brilliant. 

9. What is your proudest achievement?

For proudest, read “stupid” – climbing the Sydney Harbour Bridge.

10. Do you have or are you from a big family?

Not really. 

11. What do you do for exercise?

I used to play football and swim as a younger man but these days walking is my main form of exercise. I try to walk at least 7000 steps per day and the good news is that so far this year that average is currently at around 8000. 

12. What would be your favourite breakfast? (You didn’t have to cook it yourself.)

I love a full English breakfast but I don’t eat them that often. The last one I had was on Saturday morning in the hotel we were staying in after the wedding.

13. Is there an item that you really want but cannot afford?

A round the world ticket. To be honest I can afford it but the additional costs such as spending money, hotels etc. would make it really expensive. One day …

14.  What was the farthest distance you made for your holidays?

The farthest I have been is Australia. The furthest from Manchester is probably the city of Sydney where I did that stupid thing I mentioned in question 9.

15. Are you afraid of speaking in public?

Yes. And the sad thing is that I have had to do it several times as part of my job in the form of training courses. I have done them in America, China, South Africa, Switzerland and even Russia. You might think that means that I have overcome this irrational fear but I haven’t. The best thing to do is to practice and make sure you know what you are saying and then, try to focus on one or two people in the audience rather than all of them. And the first fifteen minutes is the worst. Once you get past that hurdle it gets better. 

Friendly Questions

Welcome to a slightly overcast South Manchester. The cloud is a light grey and it is fairly bright and it is quite clear that we are starting to warm up in the UK as we approach the beginning of spring. I like this time of year as it signals the end of winter. The sorry looking trees are beginning to sprout their new leaves, flowers are starting to open and the birds seem a lot happier. If you are lucky enough to be walking around dawn, the birds’ songs are more joyful and louder as the sun rises around this time of year. 

It's very pleasant. 

Shall we answer some silly questions from Sunday Stealing? 

1. What emotion do you experience the most?

That’s a strange and difficult question. It depends. When I am at work, I experience a mixture of frustration and annoyance which mutates into happiness as the end of the day approaches. I am usually quite content on workday evenings before repeating the cycle again. At weekends I am mostly happy. 

I think generally I am quite a happy chap.

2. What embarrasses you most in front of other people?

I am lucky really in that I feel quite comfortable being embarrassed. I have spent most of my time on this blog pointing out my flaws, telling all of you wonderful readers (both of you) about embarrassing things that have happened to me. Such is my self-deprecation on this blog that you probably think I wander around Manchester like a deranged, mad-haired and half-blind fool being laughed at my fellow real Mancunians (as opposed to Plastic ones like myself). I have told you all about my mad hair, my poor eyesight and my baboon-like features. I have told you about times when I have embarrassed myself in public, like mistaking a fellow diner for a waitress in a restaurant, saying and doing stupid things at the most inopportune moments and generally having people chuckle at my numerous faux pas. 

The truthful answer to the question is “not much” to be honest. I have lived with embarrassment most of my life and I regard it as an annoying but amusing old friend. 

3. What do you love most about yourself?

I think I can be quite a funny guy when I want to be and under that odd persona that I have described in my answer to the above question, I am a nice guy – deep down.

4. Who has influenced you the most?

Lots of people have influenced me both within and outside school and work. They are too numerous to mention and picking out just one person would be unfair to the rest of them.

5. What would you like to change about yourself?

My hair, my appearance and my age. 

6. If you could do one thing for the rest of your life, what would it be?

I would like to travel for the rest of my life. If I ever acquired a life-changing sum of money, that is what I would do. 

7. If you had the option of adopting a baby fox of baby koala, which would it be?

There are quite a few urban foxes in our area and I often see them trotting around the streets when I go for my 6am walk around the neighbourhood. They are cute but usually a little skinny and clearly wild. Since they are related to dogs, I think having a baby fox, it might be possible to keep it and train it as you would a normal dog. I have seen a fox cub and they are quite cute. Koalas are also cute and I have actually held one (back in 2005):

To be honest though, I think they would be better off in their own habitat.

8. If you had to be on a reality show, which would it be?

I hate reality TV shows with a passion – except one. The only one I really like is the UK version of the Apprentice, which is full of arrogant, egomaniacal “entrepreneurs” who consider themselves to be the most amazing people on the planet. The truth is that more often than not, they are basically full of crap and not very good at all. 

Therefore I would go onto the Apprentice to basically try and expose them for what they truly are and also (and I would love to do this), just call Lord Alan Sugar by his first name, as he insists on being referred to as “Lord Sugar” by the candidates. That said, I do like Alan Sugar – he can be quite funny. 

If you have never seen the UK version of the Apprentice, just watch the ten minute video of Apprentice disasters below. It is hilarious.

9. If you could live anywhere in the world for a year, where would it be?

Hong Kong. I love the place. I worked there on an off for a few years and then spent a few months there to finish off. If we ever head across to the Far East we always try to pay a visit to the city. It is like seeing an old friend.

10. How many bones have you broken?

I am quite lucky in that I have never broken a bone. Watch me break something now.

11. What do you fear about getting older?

I like my frame of mind as I get older. I am enjoying life a lot more these days. I’m not too happy about things starting to sag, droop and fading to grey though as they inevitably will as the years pass.

12. How do you relieve stress?

I allow the introvert within me to take control. I usually immerse myself in my own little world, focusing on anything that will distract me from the source of stress. For example, I will just do something that feels good, like listening to music, go for a walk, watch a bit of TV, read a book or something similar. It usually works.

13. Are your feet the same size?

Yes – I have boring feet. 

14. 100 kittens or 3 baby sloths?

I love cats so I would almost certainly take on the 100 kittens – just as long as I had a bigger house with a big enclosed garden that didn’t allow any other creatures into it. 

15. What do you want more than anything else in life?

Retirement. I have taken the first steps by reducing my working hours to four days instead of five from April. I’m still not sure exactly when it will happen, a couple of years probably, but it will be great when it happens. 

From Kwizgiver

 

Welcome to a sunny but chilly South Manchester.

It’s time for some silly questions from Sunday Stealing. 

1. How long have you lived in your current residence?

We have lived in our current house for 20 years in May. It is a three bedroomed terraced house, originally built in 1902 and we don’t plan to move again, although that decision isn’t cast in stone.

2. What changes have you made to it since you got there?

We’ve made a lot of changes. We bought the house from an older couple whose heads were still in the 1970’s. The lounge had wall cladding and a kind of weird stone fireplace. We ripped that all out, took off all the wallpaper, replastered the entire room and have now redecorated it a couple of times. The previous occupants seemed to prefer living in the room at the back of the house, from which I am typing this post. We opened up the whole room, replastered it and redecorated it. We have also completely replaced the kitchen and bathroom and turned an outhouse attached to the house into a weatherproof storage room. All of the bedrooms and the hall and stairs have also been replastered and redecorated a couple of times. We have new secure external doors and double glazing throughout.

But we haven’t finished yet. We plan to redecorate the bathroom, kitchen and back room (when I say “we” I mean Mrs PM) in the next couple of years.

3. What surprised you about living in your place or in your neighborhood?

I kind of came full circle and that is quite surprising. When I first moved to South Manchester in 1984, I lived fairly close to where I live right now. Eventually, I moved to a little town about eight miles away called Altrincham, where I lived for the next 15 years or so. And then fate brought me back to the same place and I have lived here ever since.

4. If someone were considering moving in next door, what would you warn them about?

The only thing I would warn them is that they are moving in next door to a weird person, i.e. me.

5. If you have to move in the next 45 days, what are you definitely not taking with you?

The kitchen.

6. What are you currently reading?

I am reading two books currently.

The first is Atomic Habits by James Clear. I read somewhere a couple of years ago that it takes about 60 days to form a habit. I can tell you that this is absolutely true and I have spent the last four or five years exploiting this mindset to great effect. For example, I write every day in a weird little journal, I practice a little Spanish, I go for a walk and have done a couple of other things. This book came across my radar last year so I thought I would read it to see if I can learn something new. The truth is that I have. I hadn’t considered using this technique to break bad habits for example. It’s a good book and I do adopt some of the ideas already. I would recommend it.

The second is a third and final part of a science fiction space opera by Peter F Hamilton called The Saints of Salvation. I love a good space opera.

7. What did you recently finish reading?

I recently finished the second part of the space opera above, called Salvation Lost. 

8. What do you think you’ll read next?

I have a couple of books that I plan to read. I think my next novel will be one that I was given for Christmas called Elsewhere by Dean Koontz. I usually buy Kindle books but this one is a proper paperback. It’s been a long time since I read anything by Dean Koontz to be honest. I’m looking forward to it.

9. When did you take the road less travelled?

Recently when I decided to reduce my working hours to four days a week, which starts in April. It is a fairly brave decision to make but I am glad I have done it.

10. Did you ever participate in a talent show?

Only accidentally. Many many years ago I was in an audience for a tacky show in a hotel in Yugoslavia (now Croatia). We didn’t plan to stay – we were just killing time until we went out for dinner. The compere decided that we should have a “Mr Universe” competition and I was unwillingly dragged into it. I am the polar opposite of a “Mr Universe” and, to be fair, so were the other six victims. We them had to do some strange rituals, like running into the audience to “rescue” a damsel in distress. I was eliminated in round three after I had taken off my shirt and “posed”.

In my head I had to consider myself looking like this.

In reality I looked more like this.

11. When did you most recently strike out?

Not sure what “strike out” actually means but if it means what I think it means then see my answer to question 9.

12. Where do you go to find yourself?

The mirror. I’m always there.

13. What do you have mixed feelings about?

Politics. I am totally disillusioned with it at the moment and lately I’ve decided to try to distance myself from the subject in its entirety. Nevertheless, I sometimes can’t help being sucked back into it, especially when I watch the news.

14. What did you most recently add to your collection of something?

I recently bought the latest album by Dream Theater called “A View From the Top of the World” to add to my still expanding CD collection. Progressive metal at its best.

15. When did something most recently stir you to tears?

I’m not a man who cries often to be honest. I have been known to shed the odd tear when watching movies though I can’t really recall when that last happened.

Luna Nina

 

Greetings from a sunny South Manchester on the last weekend in February. I like this time of year because the weather starts to improve and the coldest and darkest months of the year are behind us. The days are getting longer and the weather is improving.

Let’s be positive and dive in with some silliness from Sunday Stealing  shall we?

I say,......and you think...

(1) Casino

Caution

When it comes to gambling, I am very cautious, whether I am going to a horse race meeting or a casino. I thoroughly enjoy both but I am very sensible when it comes to parting with my money. For example, if I go to a horse race meeting, I decide to put the same small amount on each of the races even if I win a lot of money on one of them. That way, I know I will spend a certain amount but may actually end up spending less or actually winning some money. I approach casinos in the same way but I prefer to watch others blow their money on roulette, black jack etc.

As a mathematically minded person, I know that in all gambling the odds are stacked against you, so if you win and continue, you will end up losing ultimately.

That said, I had a great time in Las Vegas when I was there and watched a lot of people throw away a lot of money. Mrs PM approaches life the same way and she actually left Las Vegas with a profit – I didn’t but I still had fun and only lost a small amount that I had budgeted for.

(2) Bone

Dog

As a child we had a scruffy old mutt called Paddy. He was a lovely, friendly little pooch and whenever my mum when to the butcher, she would get a bone for him. He used to love them and would spend ages chewing it.

(3) Painting

Bob Ross

Okay – that is two words but I don’t care. I was recently watching TV and “The Joy of Painting” appeared and I just kind of got sucked into it. Bob spoke really softly and basically spent half an hour painting a natural seaside scene with mountains, waves crashing over rocks and a sunset vista. His voice and his skill really relaxed me and I watched the entire show. In fact, it is still on sometimes and I watch it if I can. I am not a great lover of art but his presentation and talent was very enjoyable.

(4) Shocked

Ukraine

I don’t want to dwell on this but what Vladimir Putin is doing at the moment is absolutely terrible and unforgiveable. I am shocked that in this day and age we have a dictator waging war in Eastern Europe. It is really frightening and I wonder where it is all going to end.

(5) Quieter

Life

As I get older, I want a quieter life. Don’t get me wrong, I still like to go out and about, but these days I favour quieter pursuits. For example, rather than going to a noisy pub, I prefer to sit in a quieter one where I can chat. Of course, there are exceptions, such as going to rock concerts, which are noisy. But even then, these days I wear ear defenders. In fact, I am off to see an American rock band called Halestorm tomorrow night – that won’t be quiet.

(6) Feed

Cats

Our two cats Ziggy and Star(dust) go through cycles during the day and we always know when it is time to feed them. After food, they run around like lunatics and spend a lot of time expending there energy inside and outside the house, sometimes turning our quiet little abode into a racing track as they gallop from the garden thought the house, up the stairs, around the rooms and back again. It’s fun to watch. After the lunatic period, they settle down for a long nap and then become really friendly, sitting on our laps, lying on my keyboard as I work (Star managed to send a half finished email to my boss last week – he though I had gone mad). This friendly period is basically saying “TIME TO FEED US!”. So we do and the cycle repeats.

(7) Song

Riverside

My current favourite band is Polish progressive rock band Riverside and there just happens to be a song by them on my computer as I type. It’s called Feel Like Falling and here it is:

(8) Glass

Beer

There is nothing like a cool glass of beer on A Friday night after a long week at work.

(9) Boat

Boaty McBoatface

This is why I love the UK. When the nation was asked to name a boat a few years ago, the organisers were presumably looking for a sensible name like “The Queen”. Instead, they got the name “Boaty McBoatface”. Somebody suggested it and the rest of the country loving a good joke and a silly name voted for “Boaty McBoatface” in their droves and it won by a huge margin. Of course, the organisers ignored it and went for a reasonable (and boring) name. But it just shows what a fun-loving nation we are and how silly we can be.

(10) Junk

Hoarding

Mrs PM says that I am a hoarder and that I hold on to a lot of what she considers “junk”. The truth is that I am not a hoarder at all; she just hates holding onto things that, in her eyes, are “over”. This includes music, books as well as certain keepsakes. Over the 20 or so years we have been together we have reached an understanding and my possessions and things I want to keep are still here. She always asks me before she decides to get rid of “junk” and in return I try to have a clearout occasionally.

(11) Sheet

Bed

Not sure what else you can think of other than paper.

(12) Knit

Octopus

What a strange word to associate with “knit”, I hear you cry. Why? Because during the lockdown, Mrs PM took up knitting and the second thing she created was an octopus. Here it is:

Not bad, eh?

(13) Gift

Vouchers

I still have three gift vouchers that I need to spend from Christmas.

(14) Small

Fortune

I would like to win a small fortune so that I could retire. I have already taken steps and from April, I am reducing my days from five to four, having Fridays off. It would be nice just to stop now.

(15) Title

Song

There are some amazing song titles out there and I have a fair few in my own collection of music. Here are some of the weirder ones:

Alice Cooper – I’ll Bite Your Face Off

David Bowie – ‘tis a Pity She Was a Whore

Deep Purple – Weirdistan

Faith No More – Woodpecker from Mars

Gillan – I’ll Rip Out Your Spine

Ginger Wildheart – Can’t Drink You Pretty

Joe Satriani – Luminous Flesh Giants

Judas Priest – Eat Me Alive

Mute Gods – Tardigrades Will Inherit the Earth

Porcupine Tree – Last Chance to Evacuate Earth Before it is Recycled

Riverside – Lost (Why Should I Be Frightened by a Hat?)

New York Times

 

Welcome to an overcast South Manchester where the weather is typical of what you would expect to see on television when winter in the UK is depicted. There is rain in the air, light and dark grey clouds obscuring the blue sky and sunshine and the temperature is a mild 7 degrees Celsius, good for a walk but ultimately slightly depressing, as winter is here in the UK. 

January is over and we are approaching the middle of February which means that spring is around the corner, a time of year that makes me feel much better.

Sorry for the stereotypical British opener (apparently all British people like to talk about is the weather); let’s answer some silly questions.

1. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?

I think I would choose Billy Connolly simply because I know that he would be “wind-swept and interesting” and would make me laugh throughout the whole meal.

2. Would you like to be famous? In what way?

I wouldn’t like to be famous at all. I am a little introverted and being thrust into the limelight for whatever reason would be a little overwhelming for me. I don’t mind short episodes of extroversion (I guess you might call me an ambivert) and they can be quite enjoyable. However, deep down I think the introvert within is the strongest part of me and living in the public eye is just too much. 

I often feel for famous people who can’t even pop into a coffee shop without being recognised. 

I guess if I were famous it would be like the artist Banksy whose identity is not really known (although some people probably do know who he is). 

Maybe a writer who hides behind a pseudonym.

3. Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?

It depends on the phone call. If it is an official one, I prefer to know the points I intend to cover and rehearsing is a good way to avoid forgetting something important.

4. What would constitute a “perfect” day for you?

I guess it would be on a trip abroad with Mrs PM, starting with a nice breakfast followed by a leisurely walk, preferably along a sun-kissed promenade next to the sea on a day with a gentle but cooling breeze. After the walk and a little rest, I would enjoy a leisurely lunch and then do some exploration in the afternoon, before relaxing by a pool with a good book and/or some music and finally going for a drink or two and enjoying a lovely dinner before retiring for the night. 

That will finally happen in 2022, I promise you. 

5. When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?

I sing to myself all the time – in fact I have been doing so while writing this very blog post (a song by progressive metal band Opeth in case you are interested). My voice is terrible so I would never inflict it upon anybody – with the exception of Mrs PM who sometimes has to endure this (sung by me in a very silly way):

She can speak French and so it seems weird when I sing:

J'en perds la raison dans la mer du Japon

which means 

I’m losing my mind in the sea of Japan

She thinks I am mad but it makes her laugh.

6. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?

I think the answer to that question is “both”. My mind was sharp when I was 30 and I was probably the fittest I had ever been, playing 5-a-side football and swimming on a regular basis.

It would be incredible to have that for 60 years.

7. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?

I plan to live forever.

8. Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.

We are both total geeks, although our geekiness doesn’t match exactly. We both love science fiction shows and movies, both work in similar jobs and chat about technology sometimes.

We both like to travel and have been on holiday to some amazing places together. 

We have a similar sense of humour and enjoy the same forms of comedy.

There are many more but those are the first ones that appeared in my head.

9. For what in your life do you feel most grateful?

I’m generally quite content to be where I am in life right now, so I am grateful for everything that has lead up to this moment.

10. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?

I think the only thing would be to have had more money. My parents were from a working class background and worked hard to give us what we needed. But sometimes times were hard, particularly in 1970’s Britain, and we had to do without some things that other kids had. It is a minor thing really because ultimately I haven’t done badly.

11. Describe your life in one paragraph.

I am a working man who is approaching the end of his career and will soon be searching for new hobbies. At the moment I am thinking about where I am going to travel next, as the pandemic starts to wane and looking forward to where my life takes me next on this adventure.

12. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?

I would like to suddenly be able to play an electric guitar. That would be amazing.

13. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?

Absolutely nothing. I hate spoilers.

14. Is there something that you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?

Lack of finances. Don’t get me wrong, I am absolutely fine when it comes to money but I have this weird idea that one day I can travel around the world writing about my experiences. Such an endeavour would cost a lot of money. But when that lottery win comes in …

15. What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?

That’s not an easy question to answer. I have travelled to many countries both with work and pleasure and experienced many different cultures and had a lot of fun doing so. I have also brought two sons into this world and both are doing well. It’s not been too bad so far.

Heavy Metal Christmas

This will be my last post before Christmas so I thought I would resurrect a stupid idea from many years ago when I started to supply alternative lyrics to famous Christmas songs, ruining them completely. 

The one I have chosen to vandalise this year is the old “Rocking Around the Christmas Tree”. 

Why? Because I spotted it and immediately thought of proper rock music – or more accurately heavy metal.

I apologise to anybody who loves the song, or anyone who loves Brenda Lee. 

Moshin’ around the Christmas tree

With a heavy metal song 

Air guitar playing noisily 

Grandma tells me this is wrong

Moshin’ around the Christmas tree

Turn the volume really loud

Later we’ll have a huge mince pie

And we’ll share it with the crowd

You will get a heavy metal feeling when you hear

Guitar, bass with drums and keyboard

Drink some beer, you’ll never feel bored

Moshing around the Christmas tree

Have a happy Christmas Day

Let’s start head banging merrily 

In a new and noisy way

<GUITAR SOLO>

You will get a heavy metal feeling when you hear

Guitar, bass with drums and keyboard

Drink some beer, you’ll never feel bored

Moshing around the Christmas tree

Have a happy Christmas Day

Let’s start head banging merrily 

In a new and noisy way

To be honest, I’m not the first to imagine traditional Christmas songs and add a touch of heavy metal to spice things up. Here are Megadeth having some fun:

And Motörhead:

And of course the Darkness:

I hope you all have a wonderful Christmas.