Movies

 

Welcome to a slightly dull South Manchester. The weather has been nice recently but it looks like it may actually rain later today. I guess as summer is effectively over and we welcome autumn, we have to expect a little rain now and then. 

Today’s Sunday Stealing  talks about movies – or films as we tend to call them in the UK (personally I use both terms). 

Shall we dive in?

1. Best movie you saw during the last year.

That’s an easy one: Spiderman: No Way Home. I love super hero films (I’m still basically a kid at heart) and Spiderman has always been right up there as one of my favourites, from the days when I used to watch the Spiderman cartoons in the 1970’s. I knew most if not all of his nemeses and in this movie, not only did they bring the best ones back, I though bringing back Toby Maguire and Andrew Garfield to join Tom Holland was a brilliant idea. And we had Dr Strange thrown into the mix too. 

If you haven’t seen it, I thoroughly recommend it.

2. The most underrated movie.

I cheated on this a little because I have to say that if I genuinely like a movie, I don’t care what other people think. I don’t really know what constitutes an underrated movie – so I looked up a list of what films Google thinks fall into this category. Of all the lists that I saw, one film popped out immediately – The Dead Zone – based on the novel by Stephen King. I remember seeing the film at the cinema when it was released in 1983 and, if you are not familiar with the story, Christopher Walken plays a man who has a road accident and wakes up from a coma five years later with the ability to see a person’s future just by touching them. Of course, Stephen King is one of my favourite authors so it was fairly obvious that this story would be right up my street.

3. Favourite love story in a movie.

I don’t really like romantic movies. It’s not because I am not a romantic person; I just think that it is usually just contrived and artificial. That said, I guess love can be a motivator in some movies so I reluctantly accept that it plays a part. Regular readers will know that I particularly don’t like romantic comedies – apart from one, which is Notting Hill – not because of the love story, but because of the characters that surround the two main ones. I will therefore reluctantly nominate that one.

4. The most surprising plot twist or ending

I’ve seen a lot of movies with plot twists and I love them. I would have said The Sixth Sense apart from I spotted the plot twist about halfway through the film. The one I didn’t see coming was The Usual Suspects – so I will say that one.

5. A movie that makes you really happy.

I’m not a big fan of so-called “feel good” movies. Again I find them a little artificial. I am a little weird so give me a great action flick and I will be happy. Let’s just pluck one out of there (there are so many to pick from) – Terminator 2: Judgement Day – a bloody great film.

6. A movie that makes you sad.

I have been know to cry at movies. I try to be all masculine and macho about it and hide my emotion, but my entire body lets me down – from my heartstrings to my brain and ultimately my eyes as tears flood down my cheeks. 

“I’ve just got hay fever”, or “there’s something in my eye” are two excuses I have prepared in case I am spotted in this fragile state. Please don’t tell anyone.

The film that brings out the worst response like this has to be The Elephant Man. It’s just so sad.

7. Favourite made for TV movie

I am going to include mini-series when it come to “made for TV movies” and again I am going to select one based on a Stephen King novel. The film in question is Salem’s Lot, which I saw in the late 1970’s and starred David Soul (Hutch from Starsky and Hutch) and James Mason. 

It scared me half to death and I loved it. I still get shivers down my spine thinking about it.

8. A movie you’ve seen countless times.

There are hundreds of films I watch over and over again. Mrs PM rarely does this and questions why I do it. The answer is, honestly, that I just love them – even though I know what will happen. So let’s pick one. I’m going to go for Inception because I think it is just brilliant.

9. A movie with the best soundtrack

I think for this I am going to select The Warriors, one of  my favourite cult movies of all time. The music fits in perfectly with the movie. The theme from the Warriors is just amazing. Here it is:

“Who are the Warriors? I want ALL … the Warriors. Send the word!”

10. Favourite classic movie

How do you define a classic movie? I’m going to cheat and pick two. The first, and oldest, is Way Out West featuring the legendary Laurel and Hardy:

The other classic movie I love is Some Like it Hot with Tony Curtis and Jack Lemmon and, of course, Marilyn Monroe. 

11. A movie that you hate.

There are lots of movies that I hate and the ones I hate most are those that I went to see based on the hype but left me stone cold.

One such movie is Dead Poets Society which I thought was rubbish, even though I love Robin Williams. Another is Independence Day, which despite the big budget and some great special effects, is hilariously terrible.

12. A movie that changed your opinion about something.

I don’t think any movies have changed my opinion about anything. However, there are a few that have intrigued me because they are through-provoking. Being a geek with a very vibrant but weird imagination, I look at sci-fi with a totally open mind and I think the main concept behind The Matrix was incredible, i.e. that although we are living what we think is a normal life, the truth could be a nightmare scenario. I just love that idea.

13. A character you can relate to the most.

I am going to pick a marvel superhero, not because I am a superhero – rather because I know how this guy feels. Bruce Banner, aka the Hulk is a scientific guy who prefers to stay out of the spotlight but will always be there to help if required. Of course, I wouldn’t like to become a towering colossal giant green anger monster – that’s not me at all – but everything else in terms of how he deals with his condition, I do kind of relate to.

14. A movie that is a guilty pleasure

I don’t like the term guilty pleasure because you shouldn’t feel guilty about anything that brings you pleasure. As I said above, if I like a movie I don’t actually care what people think or whether they agree with me. 

I guess what I am looking foe here is a movie that is universally known as “not good” that I thoroughly enjoyed. I am going to go for Jean-Claude Van Damme’s Timecop. Again, I love the concept if it means having to deal with the muscles from Brussels in the starring role, that is a small price to pay.

15. Favourite movie based on a book/comic

There are lots of them. I am going to cheat again and pick two because the movies go together: Avengers: Infinity War and Avengers: Endgame – both brilliant movies.

16. A movie that disappointed you the most

Star Wars Episode i: The Phantom Menace – the less said about that the better.

17. A movie from your favourite actor/actress

I don’t really have a favourite actor or actress. I appreciate that there are some brilliant actors out of there but I just watch movies for the movie itself, not who is in it. 

I will pick two based on actors who are good.

The first is Goodfellas, starring Robert de Niro who is a great actor.

The second is The Silence of the Lambs because it stars Jodie Foster who is a great actress.

18. Favourite movie from your favourite director.

Again I don’t have a favourite director so I will pick a movie by a director who is good.

I’m going to go for Inglorious Basterds by Quentin Tarantino.

19 .Favourite action movie

I love action movies and it is hard to pick a favourite from that huge list. I’ll select one that I saw recently: Mission Impossible: Fallout. 

20. A movie you wish more people would have seen.

Cult films tend to be a niche that you only hear about by word of mouth and I assume that such films don’t tend to get the number of viewers that you would expect. I’m going to select my favourite film that is broadly labelled as a cult film. That film is 300. I love it.

This is Sparta!

21. Favourite documentary

I am fascinated by cults, in particular, Scientology. I have seen various documentaries about this particular cult but the only one that is a movie is Going Clear: Scientology and the Prison of Belief. 

22. Favourite animation

I have to go back a few decades for this. When I was a kid, my mum took me to see The Jungle Book and I have loved it ever since. 

23. Most hilarious movie you’ve ever seen

Without a doubt, this is The Life of Brian, a controversial film that is actually still banned in a few place. At the time, it was released, lots of cinemas simply refused to show it, hailing it as blasphemous. The reality is that it simply makes fun and, as a Catholic, I don’t find it blasphemous at all. There are some brilliant jokes in it and I had to go and see it a second time because I missed so many jokes the first time because I was laughing so much.

24. A movie that you wish you had seen in the cinema

I tend to go to the cinema to see most movies that I want to see. There are a few that I have missed due to one reason or another and ended up having to see them on the TV some years later. To be honest, I can cope with that unless it is a full blown action movie or one that is filled with special effects that look much better on the big screen. 

Of all the ones I have missed, I think Starship Troopers is the one I most regret not seeing at the cinema. 

25. Your favourite movie of all time.

That is a truly difficult question that I can’t answer. I could perhaps list my top 100 movies but even that would be tricky. I am therefore going to cheat and simply not answer this one.

America Saves The Day - Again

Before I go on, let me just reiterate the fact that I love America and Americans.

Now that’s out of the way, I have a complaint.

Last year, I went to the cinema with Mrs PM to watch San Andreas, a spectacular disaster movie full of earthquakes, tsunamis and The Rock (aka Dwayne Johnson). I loved the film and scoffed my popcorn with a huge smile on my face…until the end.

My enjoyment was stained by the final scene when we saw our hero hugging his family while standing in Golden Gate Park looking over the ruins of the Golden Gate Bridge and San Francisco.

The dialogue went something like this:

Carla Gugino: What happens now?

The Rock: We rebuild.

The camera pans to the ruined bridge and we see the Stars and Stripes unfurl over the disaster area as if that makes everything alright.

I have a request for Hollywood.

Please cut the jingoism out of your movies.

There – I’ve said it.

If I have annoyed any American readers then I apologise but that’s the way I feel.

The United States of America is not the only country in the world. There are 196 more, including my own and to be honest I don't find myself emotionally charged by the American flag flowing in the sky after yet another disaster has been averted.

It's just not necessary.

I can understand that a lot of American citizens are very patriotic but I do wonder how many of them cringe like I do when a movie is ruined by quotes like:

“God Bless America” 

and when Superman stands for “Truth, Justice and the American Way”.

A lot of movies portray the President of the United States in the new role of World President. The worst example for me is a movie that I have ripped to shreds before on this blog. The very title irritates me:

Independence Day

Ignoring the fact that America defeats the aliens on 4th July, we have to put up with America leading the way and the British seemingly doing bugger all until the big American plan pops up:

The special effects were marvelous but the entire story was a joke.

Also I love super hero films and the latest instalments featuring the Hulk, Iron Man and Thor are fantastic. But I have a slight problem with Captain America because he personifies this jingoism. Don’t get me wrong; I like the character but I would have preferred him to be called Captain Shield or something like that.

If any American readers are still reading, can I ask a question?

Does jingoism actually make a film more enjoyable?

Would audiences flock away if the American flag wasn’t unfurled in a blaze of patriotism with a square jawed hero uttering an iconic phrase about freedom, America and justice?

And I have another complaint: why does the bad guy always seem to be English?

Is there something about the English accent that makes us sound like psychopathic lunatics?

Growing up, I was always confused by the comparison between British films and American ones. I concede that in the past we have added our own elements of patriotism, particularly in the decades following the war, with our stiff upper lips, drinking a cup of tea as bombs explode in the vicinity.

Such scenes are usually missing from our films or are completely ridiculed by the likes of Monty Python:

And when we have a national disaster, for example in the brilliant 28 Days Later, there is not even a hint of jingoism with Britain saving the day and defeating the zombie-making virus.

I suppose James Bond has always been quintessentially British and I suppose there are elements of patriotism in his behaviour – and yes – he always saves the day. However, I prefer to think of him as a sex mad psychopath. 

I don’t honestly feel patriotic and have no desperate urge to wave my Union Jack when he vanquishes yet another villain with maximum prejudice.

You may disagree. If you do, let me know.

Thankfully, I think things are changing. Some of the amazing TV shows coming out of America are removing this image of Americans saving the day and involve flawed Presidents, evil politicians and the hero not always saving the day or at least if he does, he does so at a price.

That’s what we like over here in the UK.

More importantly that’s what I want.

Let’s have more of the same please.

Actually, as a footnote, I hear that there is a sequel to Independence Day this year. There is a part of me that is hoping that this time they do it right and don't make it all about America - apparently the rest of the world suffered too. I am a big science fiction geek and I know that it will be popular over here, despite this whinging post.

All we need to defeat the aliens is Jack Bauer and James Bond working together in the name of Planet Earth.

That should sort those alien invaders out.

You know it makes sense,

Watch Them And Weep

My two lads and I were forced by Mrs PM to watch a terrible movie at the cinema. It was payback for us dragging her to see a full on action film the previous month.

The film was Marley and Me, a movie about the relationship between a man and his dog. While funny in places, the basic purpose of the film was to take a hold of your heartstrings and wrench them as hard as possible, opening the tear ducts and allowing them to dispose of their contents in a flood down your face.

I sometimes hate those kind of films because although they are primarily targetted at women, they have an effect on men too.

Not all tear-jerkers are bad films. I can see the merits of some of them. For example, The Elephant Man, made me blub like a baby but it was an excellent film.

I challenge anyone not to shed a tear over this scene from the film:

My problem is that I do not like to watch sad films as a rule. I prefer to feel uplifted and happy when the closing credits start. After Marley and Me, I felt wretched, cheated and pissed off.

Needless to say, Mrs PM loved the film. As we left the cinema, my two lads were moaning that there were much better films on the other screens. Mrs PM simply wiped tears from her eyes and told us why we were all wrong. The film had everything she wanted; romance, comedy and sadness.

While I like comedy, the bias in Marley and Me was clearly towards those who wanted to blub into their popcorn.

Like many men, I am confused by this need for the fairer sex to crave misery in movies. I simply don’t understand why feeling sadness and grief during and after a film is a good thing. The kind of films I watch have lots of death and destruction but the emotions are stifled in favour of the good guys being triumphant over the bad guys.

My kind of film

The long drawn out death of a Labrador, while its owner talks to it as if it were a human being is just not something I want to have to endure as the climax to a movie that is at best a poor romantic comedy.

However, an article in last week's Sunday Times has gone some way to explaining why such movie scenes are more appealing to women than they are to men.

Evidently, tear-jerkers allow women to bond with their friends. The theory is that watching a movie filled with abject misery is a way for a woman to share a more positive emotional experience with her female friends, resulting in a positive bonding experience.

I suppose it goes a long way to explaining things to a man like me who has no idea why a long drawn out weepy would make you feel positive in any way whatsoever.

I guess, in a similar way, a typical bloke movie like, for example, The Fast and The Furious franchise cause men to bond. While the plots and action scenes may require a massive suspension of disbelief, the amazing stunts will produce as much testosterone in men as the tears produced in women by a half-decent weepy.

Perhaps this also explains why men do not want to show their emotions in public when watching a weepy. When I watched The Elephant Man for the first time, I was on my own in the house and I cried continually. Had I seen it in a cinema, or even with Mrs PM, I would almost certainly have suppressed my tears.

Does this mean that I am an emotional Neanderthal?

Not at all.

Maybe it’s just a personal thing but I think most men do not like to show their emotions and anything that tries to force the issue is not a good thing. That’s not to say I won’t ever watch another weepy again; I will just watch it on my own or, grudgingly, with Mrs PM and a handkerchief to cover any tears under the pretence of having a sniffle.

That said, Mrs PM has seen me blub at a film. I remember one Christmas Eve, when we had been out for lunch and a couple of beers. I was slightly merry from the alcohol and we opted to relax in the Christmas spirit with the classic movie It’s a Wonderful Life. I think, because I had had a couple of beers, my defences were down and the two of us sat on the sofa and cried our eyes out.

It's not a bad film and not the kind I would normally watch,  but at least it was uplifting and totally got me in the mood for Christmas despite the blubbing. Had I been with a bunch of mates, we would probably have watched an explosive action movie with gallons of beer and testosterone, cheering every explosion and punching the air as the hero punched the villain.

Dear female reader, if you think I am an emotionless buffoon, you are wrong. I have deep emotions but the idea of having them brought out by a weepy movie in front of mates is an abhorrent concept to me. I consider that to be a trait for most if not all men – so I am not alone.

To be honest,  a good piece of music stirs my deep emotions probably more than a tired, contrived tear-jerker aimed to stir female emotions.

But that’s a tale for another post.

So what about you, dear reader?

Guys, am I wrong when I describe what men think of tear-jerkers?

Ladies, do you think I’m an emotionless idiot?

Hopefully, this will go some way to help me on my quest to understand the fairer sex.

Nevertheless, I still have a long way to go.

Am I Cultured?

The Sunday Times is a huge British newspaper that is published every Sunday (obviously) and takes approximately a month to read. You need to have worked out at the gym for months to be able to carry the bloody thing home.

And when you get home you open it up and it consists of section upon section of news, business, sport, money, fashion and many other subjects.

One of those magazines is a newspaper in its own right called “Culture”.

I always try to read this magazine – mainly because it has details of what is on TV over the coming week. However, there is a lot more to it than just TV listings.

The “Culture” magazine has articles on the latest books, music, movies, art, ballet, opera – you name it, “Culture” probably covers it.

Nevertheless, the subjects are genuinely more high-brow – or “cultured” if you like.

Take the movie reviews, for example. You may have read my last post about movies, in which I sang the praises of superhero films, comedy films and action thrillers. Such movies barely get a mention in the Sunday Times; the reviewers opt to cover more cultured movies – for example Lincoln, a film I absolutely slated in my previous post.

And this leads me to ask the question – am I cultured? Or am I just a boorish philistine with shallow views who scoffs at profound and deep meaning in books, music and entertainment in general.

You might agree, if you are a regular reader. I have insulted opera, Shakespeare and modern art in this blog and I can imagine that a “cultured” individual, who loves opera and cries whenever he sees a rousing Shakespearean speech while appreciating a vomit stain on the walls of the Tate Gallery, might roll his eyes, shake his head and dismiss my, in his eyes, shallow views on such erudite art forms.

As far as films are concerned, I know what I like and to be honest I don’t really care whether people think I am a philistine for preferring movies that don’t bore me to sleep.

The same goes for books and music. Many years ago I was intrigued by the fact that Salman Rushdie had had to go into hiding because of a book he wrote. Somebody offered me the chance to read one of his novels, some years after that. It wasn’t The Satanic Verses, the book that got him into so much trouble. I can’t recall which one it was – I think I have blocked it from my memory.

Why? Because it was awful.

Now I am sure that people regard the books of Mr Rushdie as cultured but I hated my one and only foray into his imagination. The same can be said about other books that are meant to be magnificent works of art and “must reads”. I have tried a few and been completely bored with them.

Does this mean I am a philistine? Does the fact that I would rather read a Stephen King novel make me an uncultured barbarian when it comes to literary (so-called) masterpieces?

As regular readers know, I despise and detest contemporary art and the insipid pseudo-intellectual arguments like “it is breaking new ground” or “it’s not been done before” to justify an absolutely horrific load of shit masquerading as art hanging on the walls of a modern art museum. So-called cultured people fawn over these pieces of excrement describing them in the most colourful words and phrases that in reality mean absolutely nothing.

The fact that I do not believe the words they are using to try to describe what the artist was trying to achieve makes me, in their eyes, an uncivilized savage compared to them.

And what about music?

Such people love the fact that I listen to rock music and sing its praises because it confirms my standing as an uncouth monster that lacks any intelligence or taste.

Except I don’t lack intelligence at all and I love to prove this to pseudo-intellectuals whenever I get the opportunity.

In my view, progressive rock is the new classical music. Such music is technically brilliant and comes from the minds of geniuses. The instrumentation is perfect and the songs are mini symphonies. Take another genre I am currently enthralled by: symphonic rock. Artists such as Nightwish prove that orchestral music and heavy metal can be made to complement each other.

Here is an example which proves that what is essentially a heavy metal band can produce a wide range of musical styles, in this case an instrumental orchestral piece. Even if you hate heavy metal please press play – because this will surprise you and hopefully amaze you:

So am I cultured?

If being cultured means being a pseudo-intellectual making up bullshit about a pile of bricks in the middle of a room – then no!

If being cultured means buying and reading a book by an author who is vastly overrated and only gets reviews in the Sunday Times – then no!

If being cultured means pretending that I like a film like Lincoln because it won Oscars – then no!

If being cultured means not buying the music I love because “heavy metal” is the music of thugs and savages – then no!

If being cultured means raving about Shakespearean actors performing Hamlet in Stratford-upon-Avon – then no!

If being cultured means sipping an expensive wine instead of my favourite pint of bitter – then no!

I hate modern art; I prefer Stephen King novels to boring Sunday Times bestsellers; I love my no-brainer action movies and not boring Oscar winning nonsense; I buy the music I love whether it be heavy metal, pop music, progressive rock or classical symphonies;

And Shakespeare is STILL rubbish!

I personally think that culture is an individual quality. If you are happy with your opera, Shakespeare, Rushdie or even framed vomit-stains on a wall in a museum full of junk masquerading as art – then that’s fine by me. Just as long as you don't pretend to love them just to appear cultured.

I regard myself as cultured – and you are too (unless you are a pseudo-intellectual in which case you are a pretentious arse).

Do you agree, dear reader? 

Do you think I cultured or am I a philistine?

Do you think you are cultured? 

If not, why not?

The Alphabet Movie Meme

I discovered a brand new movie meme while browsing the web. It may not be new but I haven’t seen it before – so I am going to have a go. It’s an Alphabet Meme so let’s dive in:

Anctipated Movie in 2014

If I can persuade Mrs PM to go to the cinema then it will be the sequel to one of my favourite films:

I will start working on her now.

Book Adaptation I Would Love to See

A couple immediately leap to mind. Bryan Lumley’s Necroscope would shatter all illusions about the pathetic vampires we see in movies today. A really good adaptation would terrify anybody who thinks that the dreadful Twilight Saga contains quintessential vampires.

Having just read Hyperion and The Fall of Hyperion by Dan Simmons, I think that too would make a fantastic film or series of films, particularly the fearsome Shrike:

Celebrity I’d Most Love To Meet

I think that would have to be Clint Eastwood, as long as he promised not to pretend to talk to Barack Obama. If I could resurrect a dead celebrity, I would choose two: Stan Laurel and Oliver Hardy, circa 1940, and chat to them about their hilarious movies.

Dream Director/Actor Pairing

I would probably put somebody like Quentin Tarantino with Robert de Niro. That would be interesting.

Essential Classic Movie

Now here’s a question. What exactly is a classic movie these days? Movies made in the 1970’s are 40 years old and when I was a kid, old black and white movies from the 1930’s also fell into that category. I am going to cheat and name a proper “classic” movie – and a “modern” classic.

First, The Public Enemy, from 1931, which is a marvellous film about a ruthless gangster, perfectly portrayed by the brilliant Jimmy Cagney.

Second, and moving into a more modern era, The Godfather Part 2, which sees two of the greatest actors, Al Pacino and Robert de Niro, sharing the limelight in this magnificent sequel to another great film, the original Godfather.

I see that I have picked two gangster films – that is just a coincidence.

Favourite Film Franchise

I am a sad geek so there is only one choice; Star Trek. I love most of the films but my particular favourites are:

Star Trek 2: The Wrath of Kahn

Star Trek: First Contact

Star Trek (The JJ Abrams Remake)

Star Trek: Into Darkness

Genre I Watch Most

You can probably tell from my answers already that I am a massive fan of science fiction. However, I would go further and add super hero films as a kind of “subset” because they are, strictly speaking, science fiction films – don’t you agree?

Hidden Gem

Long before Jurassic Park hit our screens with its fantastic marauding dinosaurs and superb special effects, there was another movie about a theme park gone wrong. That movie was, of course, Westworld, the story of a couple of guys who go on holiday to a theme park where they can immerse themselves into a wild west experience with robots playing the part of the of cowboys and gunslingers. Of course, it’s perfectly safe – that is until the robots break their programming and start killing the guests. Yul Brynner is superb as the gunslinging robot pursuing our hapless hero through the theme park with one intention only – to kill him. 

Important Moment in my Film Life

I would probably say that it was the day my dad succumbed after weeks of me pleading with him to watch a horror movie. He let me stay up to watch the 1958 Hammer horror film, Dracula, starring Christopher Lee. It scared me half to death but kindled within me a deep fascination with horror and vampires in particular.

Just Right for a Rainy Day

Marvel’s Avengers Assemble (or if you are in America, just Avengers). Just switch you brain off, forget the weather outside and immerse yourself in two hours of total mayhem. It’s got everything – incredible (and flawed) super heroes, endless action sequences and an incredible villain – as well as some fantastic moments of humour.

Who can forget the moment when The Hulk takes on Loki? I laughed so much at that scene.

I truly love this film and can’t wait for the next one.

Kiddie Movie I Still Shamelessly Enjoy

Toy Story 2. My lads wanted to see the sequel and I hadn’t seen the first one. I promised to take them on a Sunday afternoon and took the opportunity to rent Toy Story on the Saturday – just so that I knew what was going on of course. I loved Toy Story but the sequel was so much better.

It’s funny and heart-warming – and I have watched it probably about six times now (as a guilty pleasure).

Location I’d Most Like To Visit

Predictably – the bridge of the Enterprise. Just give me a part as an extra on the next Star Trek – that’s all I ask.

Movie That I Know By Heart

Monty Python sketches are legendary, so much so that I can recite a lot of them. It’s sad I know. So it stands to reason that I can also recite a huge part of The Life of Brian – my favourite comedy film of all time.

“He’s not the Messiah! He’s a very naughty boy!”

“And what about you? Do you find it risible when I say the name … Biggus … Dickus?”

Netflix Movie I Actually Watched

I don’t have Netflix.

One Movie I Watched More Than Once

Again it was The Life of Brian. The entire movie had me crying with laughter so much that I had to pay to see it again just to see some of the other jokes I missed the first time.

Preferred Place to Watch a New Movie

There is no better place to watch a huge action movie than the big screen itself. My answer is definitely the cinema.

Quote That Inspires Me

There are lots – but I particularly like this from The Matrix:

“There’s a difference between knowing the path and walking the path.”

Remakes – Friend or Foe

I don’t mind remakes if the film is an improvement on the original. There are cases where they truly do work, for example the two recent Star Trek movies are pretty good. Some remakes are pointless, like rebooting Spiderman just a few years after the original trilogy was produced.

A remake needs to add something new and exciting and sadly a lot of them do not.

Snack I Enjoy Most

Don’t get me started on cinemas and snacks. There is so much wrong. In the UK, the queues for popcorn and fizzy drink are usually so huge that you simply don’t bother. Also, cinemas don’t allow you to take in your own snacks, which means that you have to buy overpriced huge buckets of fizzy drinks and colossal bags of sweets and popcorn. I once missed the start of a movie because of queuing just to keep my kids happy.

When I become World President, there will be changes! I promise!

Twist That Blows My Mind

It has to be The Usual Suspects. If you haven’t seen the movie, then I won’t spoil it for you – but it still sends a shiver down my spine when I think about it.

Unapologetic Fan Person For 

I actually like almost all of the movies I have seen Tom Cruise in, to be honest. I know that as a top Hollywood movie star, he has the first choice of the best movie scripts but before he really became a huge star he appeared in some great movies, such as Born On The Fourth Of July and Rain Man. Mind you, I’m not really a fan of Top Gun, bizarrely.


Also, he is the same age as I am – although I am much better looking.

Judge for yourself:

Plastic Mancunian

Tom Cruise

OK - maybe he is better looking than me.

Very Excited For Award Season?

Not at all. Some of the movies that win awards are worthy of them but there have been lots of examples of Oscar winners that in my humble opinion simply do not deserve it. Take Lincoln for example. I watched the movie on a flight to Oman last year and it bored me to tears. Daniel Day Lewis may have done a half decent impersonation of what people think Abraham Lincoln looked like and spoke like – but nothing bloody happened. It had too much boring political dialogue and is only truly of interest to an elite group of people who know and love that particular period of American history. So no – I don’t get excited by the award season at all.

Wish I Had Never Watched

I' m sorry to mention it again but having just moaned about it, I cannot let it go. I wish I had never watched Lincoln. I had such high expectations based on the awards it won – but it was boring and tedious. I am sorry to go on about it but it was.

XXX Movie You Watched At A Young Age

The Exorcist – and it scared me to death. I had sleepless nights for weeks and weeks and I have never watched it since, such was the impact it had. At the time I was 16 years old and still half believed the preaching of the Catholic church. The Exorcist exposed a deep-seated terror within that I had no idea existed, and then attacked it with maximum prejudice. Vampires are one thing, but Satan is another prospect altogether, particularly scenes involving demonic possession of a poor innocent child.

I still shudder when I think about it.

Your Latest Movie Related Obsession

The Marvel Super Hero movies without a doubt. I love every one of them: Iron Man, The Hulk, Superman, Spiderman, Batman, Captain America, Thor, X-Men, the Fantastic Four and the Avengers. And the great news is that there are many more of them due.

Keep them coming I say.

ZZZ – Catcher

Dare I say The Twilight Saga again? I got a bit of stick for my negative views on the Twilight movies (read them here). They are so mind-numbingly boring that they are a great cure for insomnia and I apologise to readers who actually like them (on second thoughts, thinking about it, I don't apologise at all!).

And Finally …

As usual, please feel free to steal this – and let me know your A to Z – I will genuinely be interested.

A Movie Meme

I am a big lover of films (or if you are American, “movies”) and I simply couldn’t resist a meme that I have just stumbled across – stolen originally by the mob at Sunday Stealing; now stolen again by me.


Here we go:

1. What is your all-time favourite movie costume?

That’s a tough question for me because there have been so many great costumes. However, being a shallow science fiction loving geek, I will choose what many of you may think is a bland and tedious choice. The Matrix trilogy. For any full blooded males, however, can I just remind you of Trinity’s outfit? That swings it for me.

2. What classic film would you nominate for a remake?

I would really love to see a remake of War of the Worlds but more closely related to the novel itself and set in the last few years of the 19th century in Britain. Don’t get me wrong; I love the two versions that have made it to the silver screen but I was disappointed that the remake that Tom Cruise starred in a year or two ago was set in modern day America. I guess it had to satisfy the demands of the American public but I think a gritty version set in old England would definitely be a winner.

3. Name your favourite femme fatale.

Does Uma Thurman’s performance in Pulp Fiction count as a femme fatale? Who cares – I nominate her anyway.

4. Name the best movie title.

There are loads of great film titles from the sublime to the ridiculous. 

Here are great some titles I like for good films:

The Good, The Bad And The Ugly

American Psycho

Inglourious Basterds

Shaun Of The Dead

Cowboys and Aliens

And here are one or two good titles for utterly dreadful films:

Sex Lives Of The Potato Men

Attack Of The Killer Tomatoes

I Bought a Vampire Motorcycle

Killer Klowns From Outer Space

The Ghost In The Invisible Bikini

5. Describe the worst performance by a child actor that you’ve ever seen.

I have a problem with films with precocious brats as the stars. I love kids generally but spoilt brats with a “sense of humour” make me reach for my soapbox. Being a sad geek I will have to choose Star Wars Episode 1: The Phantom Menace. 

That film was so wrong in places and one of them is the portrayal of Annakin Skywalker (aka Darth Vader) as a child. And if you mention Jar Jar Binks I might just have to reach for my soapbox again.

6. Who gets your vote for most tragic movie monster?

I would say Godzilla in the 1990’s remake. I was with Godzilla all the way and wanted him (her?) to incinerate most of the characters in the film. What happened to the poor beast was a tragedy. America wins again – GRRR!!!

7. What is the one Western that you would recommend to anybody?

I’m torn between For A Few Dollars More and The Good, The Bad And The Ugly. They are both brilliant films starring one of my favourite actors of all time – the wonderful Clint Eastwood. 

I recommend them both.

8. Who is your ideal movie-viewing partner?

I would like to say Mrs PM as we partially share the same taste in films. However, she does like some absolute garbage (like Marley and Me – she dragged me and my two lads to the pictures to see that dreadful load of sentimental bilge and all three of us had to share the vomit bucket). 

I would also say my two lads but they like some pretty weird stuff as well. 

So my ideal movie watching party is a clone of me because I am the only person who likes the same films as me.

9. Has a film ever made you want to change your life? If so, what was the film?

The Wedding Planner made me choose never ever to watch a film starring Jennifer Lopez and/or Matthew McConaughy ever again.

10. Think of one performer that you truly love. Now think of

one scene/movie/performance of theirs that is too uncomfortable for you to

watch.

Clint Eastwood again – from Paint Your Wagon – singing “I Talk To The Trees”.

AAAAARRRRRGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

11. On the flip side, think of one really good scene/performance/movie

from a performer that you truly loathe.

I like action movies but the worst “action” star is probably Steven Seagal. He simply cannot act and his films are generally awful. That said, I actually really like Under Siege – despite the fact that he is the star. 

12. What is your favourite romantic comedy?

I generally think that romantic comedies are awful. The formula is the same, the plot is the same and the acting is lame in most if not all of them. 

There is one such film that I like though, even though I am not a huge fan of the main stars. 

That film is Notting Hill. 

Why do I like it? Because it is quintessentially British and I genuinely like the characters.

13. What is your favourite drama?

There are so many to choose from – but I have to say that the one that keeps popping to the surface is The Shawshank Redemption. Ask me again next week and I will choose a different one, I’m sure.

14. Worst film you've seen?

There are so many to choose from but I have to go for Highlander 2: The Quickening for the simple reason that I loved the original film, Highlander and this turd of a movie completely ruined the magic of that first film. I struggle to watch the original now because this cesspit of a sequel, a film that belongs at the bottom of Satan’s toilet, reminds me that all is not what it is meant to be.

15. How do you feel about the majority of romantic films being labelled "chick flicks"?

Let’s be honest; they are really for women because most men I know can’t stand them and, like me, only agree to be dragged to the cinema to see them as a consequence of dragging their ladies to the cinema on a previous occasion to see a “highly explosive action thriller”. 

The term “chick flick” may be a sexist way for them to be described but my feeling is that they should be consigned to a box labelled “For Ladies” or something similar.

I know that I have to suffer penance in future for dragging Mrs PM to see Avengers Assemble (or The Avengers if you are in America) earlier this year – oh and The Dark Knight Rises last week (despite the fact that she liked both of them).

16. Favourite on-screen couple?

I presume you are talking about male and female here. I’m going to choose John Cleese and Jamie Lee Curtis in A Fish Called Wanda. I love this film – a brilliantly quirky and hilarious film (the main reason I chose it).

17. Favourite off-screen couple?

I don’t have a favourite off screen couple because I don't care about celebrities. . Me and Mrs PM perhaps?

18. Best kiss in a movie?

The two dogs in Lady And The Tramp.

19. Favourite scene?

Again there are so many to choose from. However, here is one that leaps to mind immediately. The lobby scene from The Matrix – full of guns, bullets and great music.

Oh – and the freeway scene from The Matrix Reloaded: cars, guns, thrills and utter mayhem.

Oh - and the various action scenes from Inception, like Paris folding up on itself and … and …

I think I need a separate post for this subject.

20. Who are 2 film characters you wished had gotten together, but never did?

I think James Bond and Jason Bourne really should be put together, either united against a really nasty villain or, probably better still, against each other.

21. Two actors you think would have great chemistry, but have never done a film together?

It would have to be a few years ago, when both actors were younger, but I think Clint Eastwood and Harrison Ford should have made an action movie together. Sadly, poor old Clint is just too old now (actually so is Harrison Ford).

22. Favourite song in a film (doesn't have to be from a musical)?

Well, being a massive rock fan – it has to be this from the Vin Diesel  film XXX.Not the greatest film but the song introduced me to the band – and I haven’t looked back since.

Just watch those pyrotechnics!

23. Best score from a film?

I think a lot of film themes are modern day classical music, powerful and beautiful. A recent favourite is the theme from Inception. Just listen to this wonderful piece or orchestral magic – it is truly spine-tingling.




24. Best film quote?

Again there are millions to choose from. Here are a couple of my favourites:












25. A film you'd recommend that is a "Must See" for us to watch?

Apart from the ones I’ve mentioned above? Well - not one film – but three – the Lord Of The Rings trilogy.

That was an interesting meme. Please feel free to steal it because I love listening to people’s views on films, particularly if they have recommendations.

Over to you, dear reader - what is your favourite film?