Retirement - A Year On

41 years ago today, on Monday 17th September 1984, I started work as a Graduate Computer Programmer at a large company that was based in South Manchester. It was the beginning of almost 40 years in Software Engineering, which basically means that I spent my entire working life in combat with computer software running on a variety of machines that slowly evolved and now continue to evolve to this day.

I actually loved writing software but eventually all the politics and crap that surrounds such a career got to me in the end. I guess all office based careers end up mutating into something else and that was definitely true of my job. 

In a sense I was lucky because for about thirty five of those forty years I worked in the airport industry, which meant that I got to travel to exotic places such as Russia, China, USA and South Africa as well as Europe. 

What I discovered as part of these travels is that people the world over are largely the same. When I say “people” I mean ordinary people such as myself, not politicians, celebrities and others wielding power.

For example, in Russia, I worked with a guy who was wonderful company and very helpful to me. In China I was looked after so well by the people I was working with and my attempts to speak Mandarin were met with enthusiasm but laughter as I skilfully mispronounced all manner of words, turning simple sentences into utter gibberish.

On Thursday 12th September 2025 I waved goodbye to all that and retired.

Now, on the day that career started, I thought that I would reflect on what has happened since I handed over my work laptop and said goodbye to my work colleagues. 

Do I think of work now? 

The answer is not really. I am still in touch with quite a few people I used to work with and I definitely miss some of the trips abroad, even though they were hard work in terms of the job I had to do. Thankfully, now that I am free of the chains of my career I can revisit some of these places as a tourist and enjoy them without the pressure of the job. 

The question I am now asked most is:

“What are you doing with your time, Dave?”

When I was younger, I thought that retired people just spent their time doing nothing but now that I have joined that elite group of people, I know how wrong that naïve view is. Some of the retired people I know are actually busier now than when they worked. 

From a personal point of view, my plan for retirement was to make sure that I didn’t fall into the trap of doing absolutely nothing. I wanted a routine. I wanted to keep fit. I wanted to challenge my mind. I wanted to make time for fun. 

I actually went about the task of bringing this plan to fruition in quite a methodical manner. I guess this is no surprise for somebody who designed algorithms for computer systems to follow. Here’s what I did:

First, I made a list of things that I wanted to do (hobbies if you like), and a list of things that were necessary (such as chores etc) as well as finding something to do to simply relax. That list is huge by the way and I have only really looked at a fraction of it. 

In a sense, I was lucky to retire when I did, though fellow retirees will almost certainly disagree with me. Retirees I know said that the best time to retire is at the start of summer yet, paradoxically I ignored that advice and quit my job at the start of autumn. The weather in autumn in the UK is okay but steadily gets worse as time passes inexorably towards winter. Consequently, I found myself staying at home as the weather devolved into unpleasantness. 

You may think this is a bad idea, but it wasn’t bad for me. It allowed my routine to take hold and now, a year later, I have a daily routine that absolutely works for me. 

That is a key thing (and I can’t emphasise it enough) – get yourself a routine that suits you. It doesn’t matter what it is as long as it is something that you can look forward to every day and something that is fulfilling. However, there is a caveat, which I have learned this summer. By all means stick to the routine but don’t be too hard on yourself if something more interesting comes along like a trip out, a holiday or just hanging around with friends. My life was rigid enough when I worked and, as paradoxical as it seems, I don’t want to take that into retirement even though I have a routine for less active days. 

I have a massive list of things that I would like to try and I have spent time listing those in a document for future use, but for now, I have selected a couple to fit into my routine. 

These include, teaching myself (badly) to play the piano, playing with a synthesiser, writing (including a novel, a memoir and blog posts) and learning languages (Spanish, French and German). 

The timetable includes time for daily chores, a bit of relaxation and time to be a total child with my PS5. 

As well as this, I try to walk roughly five miles a day. I do this first thing in the morning because this serves a couple of purposes. First, it wakes me up and second I find it quite mindful and relaxing. Walking also gets me out of the house and is great exercise for an old git like myself. I do this even in terrible weather (Like this morning when I was asking myself whether there was a new Noah constructing a brand new Ark). 

So, have I stuck to myroutine? 

In short, the answer is yes.

It was easier during the winter months and even into spring. 

When summer arrived it was more tricky because there was more to do. I started seriously watching cricket, for example and I have been to a lot of games. Also, the weather improved which meant that I was able to get out and about more or simply sit in the garden and read, enjoying the nice weather. For once we have had a great summer in 2025, involving four heatwaves (yes four – can you believe that in the UK?) with temperatures reaching the high twenties to the mid-thirties Celsius. I don’t think I have spent as much time in the garden as I have this summer. 

To be honest, summer has ruined my routine quite a lot but that is a good thing if you consider that going out and doing stuff is as good as settling into your routine. Summer has taught me that no matter how rigid you wanted the routine to be, it is okay to put it aside for a while and enjoy the benefits of good weather, like a cricket match or simply reading in the garden, as well as other activities and socialising with mates.

Holidays have also required me to shelve my routine a lot. I have been on holiday nine times, three of them in the UK and the rest abroad. There are a few other things going on too, notably bi-monthly get-togethers with a bunch of old retired workmates to travel around the local area via train to seek out new pubs and new breweries – to boldly drink beer where no Mancunian has drunk beer before.  

As well as that, I have become a domestic goddess. Mrs PM is still working and so while she slaves away over a hot laptop, I look after domestic chores such as washing, shopping and being a slave to our two furry overlords. 

That works well and I am (relatively) happy to take over. 

What about the future? 

I am going on another holiday at the end of next week, a cruise around the Aegean Sea with two friends, and after that I will take stock of where I am and consider changing things around a little bit as winter approaches. 

I don’t think that I will change much, if I’m honest, because I am content at the moment. I have a list of new things to try and perhaps I will find time but at the moment I am happy to continue for a while. I will of course review again as the New Year approaches, as this is the time that people traditionally review their day to day lives. 

Life is peachy at the moment and I will try to make the most of it while I am still in the go-go period of retirement. As I said above, I have learned that no matter how disciplined I am with a routine, it is absolutely fine to break that for more interesting pursuits – and in fact it should be actively encouraged. 

I expect more of the same next year and I am delighted with that. 

Now There's A Strange Hobby

There are people in the world who think I am weird; they are easy to spot – they are breathing.

Perhaps their perception of me is a little unfair. I may be weird but there are far stranger people than me roaming the Earth.

How do I know?

I was watching QI on Friday and was introduced to the concept of  worm charming, a hobby that I can only describe as very peculiar (and I am being very kind when I write this). One of the contestants had a look on his face that said it all:

“You sad, sad people – for God’s sake GET A LIFE!”

It got me thinking – what other bizarre hobbies are out there?

I will confess to a couple of strange pastimes I have embraced in my life – but not now. First, I want you to read about some odd leisure activities that Mr Google told me about.

Let’s start with the one I encountered on QI:

Worm Charming

I don’t like worms. I’ve never liked them. I never will. Yet there are people out there who spend their free time trying to entice them out of the ground. I can understand somebody doing this if he is fishing and has run out of bait but doing it for fun? That is ridiculous. Mind you, I think fishing is another ridiculous hobby – but that’s another story.

Nevertheless, I share a country where armies of people do this for fun. People gather in fields, armed with various implements which they use to hit the ground (apparently to simulate rain) in an attempt to tempt the worms to surface.

And then they count them. And the people who have collected the most worms are the winners. I've heard about competition but that is ridiculous.

Ferret Racing

Another creature I am not keen on is the ferret. I have known people who look and act like ferrets (one in particular whom we nicknamed “The Ferret” – how original were we?). Ferrets are vicious little brutes with sharp teeth that should be left out there in the wild and not domesticated.

There are a group of people who keep them as pets and a subgroup who like to wander over to fields filled with plastic pipes and race their pets against each other. I can’t think of anything more tedious myself. I would prefer to starve a ferret for a couple of days and then stick it down the trousers of those who race them; Sadly, there are people who do that already. Apparently the record is over five hours. Words fail me.

Looking for Mythical Creatures

Some people are not content with unusual hobbies with odd creatures. There are a number of people worldwide who simply are not satisfied with something as mundane as luring a worm out of its nice cosy little home of soil. These people think big and think outside the box. Why be content with a ferret when you can have the Loch Ness Monster? Yes, there are people in the world whose hobby is to sit patiently on the shores of a Scottish Loch waiting for a monster; or tramping through the forests of America searching for Big Foot; or risking life and limb in the Himalayas in search of a Yeti. I wouldn’t mind, but the photos I’ve seen of dear old Nessie are totally unconvincing. I could draw a more convincing picture myself. Here’s a message from me to people who believe that the Loch Ness Monster, Big Foot and the Yeti exist:

They DO NOT exist. If they did then we would have found them by now. Find another hobby.

UFO Spotting

There are people who are worse than Nessie hunters; people who aren’t satisfied with searching for mythical creatures on planet Earth; people who take blue sky thinking to the extreme. UFO spotters are utterly convinced that we are being scrutinised, kidnapped and experimented on by aliens from another world. Utter poppycock. I love science fiction but it is incredible to me that aliens are zooming around our skies looking for rednecks to experiment on.

I knew a UFO spotter at university and he was so confident that aliens were roaming the heavens waiting for the right moment to come down and conquer us all, that he spent time at night with telescopes and binoculars hunting them in the skies. I told him that life was not like Star Trek. Talking of which …

Extreme Trekkers

I have to confess that I am a Star Trek fan. However, I have drawn a line. I watch it on TV and that’s the end of it. To some people it is a religion; some people think it is REAL. One guy I used to work with turned up to work with a manual for the Starship Enterprise, describing in detail how the various of the components of a fictional space craft work. I can’t believe he bought it. I can’t believe anybody actually went to the trouble to WRITE it. At least he drew the line at walking around dressed as a Klingon, speaking Klingon and calling himself Thwaktok.

Extreme Ironing

I hate ironing. It is one of the most tedious chores that I have to do. I have tried to bribe Mrs PM to do my ironing but she hates it even more than I do. Some people love it. Some people love it so much that they want to do it in weird places under extreme conditions. In my mind, extreme ironing involves brain surgery – i.e. remove the “common sense” nodule of the brain alongside the “recognising boredom” lobe. Extreme ironing enthusiasts are missing something. Why iron on the top of a mountain, at the bottom of a lake or while hang gliding? If you don’t believe me, here is proof.

Eddie Stobart Lorry Spotters

I was horrified to discover that there actually is a hobby that is sadder than trainspotting. I’ve always questioned why people stand on railway platforms in the middle of winter recording serial numbers of locomotives. These days, the politically correct term for these sad people is “railway enthusiast”. They will always be trainspotters to me. Nevertheless, even lower down the scale than these dreary people are those who drive up and down the motorways of England looking for Eddie Stobart lorries. Eddie Stobart has a fleet of lorries each of which has a name like “Abbey Louise” and “Pamela Jane” and the idea is that you stand by the motorway or drive up and down the length of country recording them as you see them. How sad is that? Eddie Stobart is based in Carlisle – this is one reason I never want to go there.

Vomit Photography

Personally, I consider around 90% of what passes as “modern art” to be pictures of vomit hanging on our walls under the pretence of being some moving philosophical masterpiece that makes pseudo-intellectuals orgasmic with delight. There are weird people out there whose mission it is to walk around with a camera, taking photographs of people vomiting or the after effects of having vomited. I worry about the world sometimes.

Treating Monkeys As Babies

I watched a programme on TV some time ago about people in America who own monkeys and treat them just like babies. It was one of those televisual events where I wanted to switch off the TV but was engulfed in a shroud of disbelief and morbid fascination. I was actually too shocked to rant and too stunned to pick up the remote control. One woman not only dressed her monkey up in a pram, she also put lipstick on the ugly little beast and cuddled it like a child. I sat there for an hour with my mouth open in utter astonishment.

What about me?

I have a couple of hobbies at the moment; blogging, photography and learning Spanish, as well as other interests such as rock music, rock gigs and reading.

I have to confess that I have had a couple of hobbies that may be regarded as quite sad:

(1) Collecting Football Programmes – I have approximately 500 football programmes from games involving Walsall FC between 1973 and 1985. I still have them up in the loft but I no longer actively collect them. Mrs PM wants me to recycle them all but I reckon they might actually be worth something in years to come (well that’s my excuse anyway).

(2) Collecting beer mats – A couple of mates and I challenged each other at university to see who could collect the most beer mat. I went through approximately three tons of Blu Tack pinning them to the walls and ceiling of my room in the halls of residence before thinking – “Hang on! What in the name of all that is insane am I doing?” I recycled them. One friend took it to extreme though and when we were in France together he marched up to a waiter in Paris and said “Moi! J’aime les beer mats.” The waiter gave him a look that I will treasure for the rest of my life – if only I had had a camera with me.

(3) Playing the Air Guitar – I have to confess that in the past when alone in the house I have been known to close the blinds, put on some heavy metal, crank up the volume and become Joe Satriani, Kirk Hammett, John Petrucci, Alex Lifeson or Ritchie Blackmore – or an amalgamation of all of them and more. Thankfully I haven’t done this for years – apart from a stint on Guitar Hero (with a small plastic guitar).

I’ve bared my soul to you again, dear reader, in that last section.

Now over to you – do you have a weird or wonderful hobby?

Let me know – I won’t laugh – after all I’ve just confessed to shredding a non-existent guitar.

How sad is that?