Retirement - A Year On

41 years ago today, on Monday 17th September 1984, I started work as a Graduate Computer Programmer at a large company that was based in South Manchester. It was the beginning of almost 40 years in Software Engineering, which basically means that I spent my entire working life in combat with computer software running on a variety of machines that slowly evolved and now continue to evolve to this day.

I actually loved writing software but eventually all the politics and crap that surrounds such a career got to me in the end. I guess all office based careers end up mutating into something else and that was definitely true of my job. 

In a sense I was lucky because for about thirty five of those forty years I worked in the airport industry, which meant that I got to travel to exotic places such as Russia, China, USA and South Africa as well as Europe. 

What I discovered as part of these travels is that people the world over are largely the same. When I say “people” I mean ordinary people such as myself, not politicians, celebrities and others wielding power.

For example, in Russia, I worked with a guy who was wonderful company and very helpful to me. In China I was looked after so well by the people I was working with and my attempts to speak Mandarin were met with enthusiasm but laughter as I skilfully mispronounced all manner of words, turning simple sentences into utter gibberish.

On Thursday 12th September 2025 I waved goodbye to all that and retired.

Now, on the day that career started, I thought that I would reflect on what has happened since I handed over my work laptop and said goodbye to my work colleagues. 

Do I think of work now? 

The answer is not really. I am still in touch with quite a few people I used to work with and I definitely miss some of the trips abroad, even though they were hard work in terms of the job I had to do. Thankfully, now that I am free of the chains of my career I can revisit some of these places as a tourist and enjoy them without the pressure of the job. 

The question I am now asked most is:

“What are you doing with your time, Dave?”

When I was younger, I thought that retired people just spent their time doing nothing but now that I have joined that elite group of people, I know how wrong that naïve view is. Some of the retired people I know are actually busier now than when they worked. 

From a personal point of view, my plan for retirement was to make sure that I didn’t fall into the trap of doing absolutely nothing. I wanted a routine. I wanted to keep fit. I wanted to challenge my mind. I wanted to make time for fun. 

I actually went about the task of bringing this plan to fruition in quite a methodical manner. I guess this is no surprise for somebody who designed algorithms for computer systems to follow. Here’s what I did:

First, I made a list of things that I wanted to do (hobbies if you like), and a list of things that were necessary (such as chores etc) as well as finding something to do to simply relax. That list is huge by the way and I have only really looked at a fraction of it. 

In a sense, I was lucky to retire when I did, though fellow retirees will almost certainly disagree with me. Retirees I know said that the best time to retire is at the start of summer yet, paradoxically I ignored that advice and quit my job at the start of autumn. The weather in autumn in the UK is okay but steadily gets worse as time passes inexorably towards winter. Consequently, I found myself staying at home as the weather devolved into unpleasantness. 

You may think this is a bad idea, but it wasn’t bad for me. It allowed my routine to take hold and now, a year later, I have a daily routine that absolutely works for me. 

That is a key thing (and I can’t emphasise it enough) – get yourself a routine that suits you. It doesn’t matter what it is as long as it is something that you can look forward to every day and something that is fulfilling. However, there is a caveat, which I have learned this summer. By all means stick to the routine but don’t be too hard on yourself if something more interesting comes along like a trip out, a holiday or just hanging around with friends. My life was rigid enough when I worked and, as paradoxical as it seems, I don’t want to take that into retirement even though I have a routine for less active days. 

I have a massive list of things that I would like to try and I have spent time listing those in a document for future use, but for now, I have selected a couple to fit into my routine. 

These include, teaching myself (badly) to play the piano, playing with a synthesiser, writing (including a novel, a memoir and blog posts) and learning languages (Spanish, French and German). 

The timetable includes time for daily chores, a bit of relaxation and time to be a total child with my PS5. 

As well as this, I try to walk roughly five miles a day. I do this first thing in the morning because this serves a couple of purposes. First, it wakes me up and second I find it quite mindful and relaxing. Walking also gets me out of the house and is great exercise for an old git like myself. I do this even in terrible weather (Like this morning when I was asking myself whether there was a new Noah constructing a brand new Ark). 

So, have I stuck to myroutine? 

In short, the answer is yes.

It was easier during the winter months and even into spring. 

When summer arrived it was more tricky because there was more to do. I started seriously watching cricket, for example and I have been to a lot of games. Also, the weather improved which meant that I was able to get out and about more or simply sit in the garden and read, enjoying the nice weather. For once we have had a great summer in 2025, involving four heatwaves (yes four – can you believe that in the UK?) with temperatures reaching the high twenties to the mid-thirties Celsius. I don’t think I have spent as much time in the garden as I have this summer. 

To be honest, summer has ruined my routine quite a lot but that is a good thing if you consider that going out and doing stuff is as good as settling into your routine. Summer has taught me that no matter how rigid you wanted the routine to be, it is okay to put it aside for a while and enjoy the benefits of good weather, like a cricket match or simply reading in the garden, as well as other activities and socialising with mates.

Holidays have also required me to shelve my routine a lot. I have been on holiday nine times, three of them in the UK and the rest abroad. There are a few other things going on too, notably bi-monthly get-togethers with a bunch of old retired workmates to travel around the local area via train to seek out new pubs and new breweries – to boldly drink beer where no Mancunian has drunk beer before.  

As well as that, I have become a domestic goddess. Mrs PM is still working and so while she slaves away over a hot laptop, I look after domestic chores such as washing, shopping and being a slave to our two furry overlords. 

That works well and I am (relatively) happy to take over. 

What about the future? 

I am going on another holiday at the end of next week, a cruise around the Aegean Sea with two friends, and after that I will take stock of where I am and consider changing things around a little bit as winter approaches. 

I don’t think that I will change much, if I’m honest, because I am content at the moment. I have a list of new things to try and perhaps I will find time but at the moment I am happy to continue for a while. I will of course review again as the New Year approaches, as this is the time that people traditionally review their day to day lives. 

Life is peachy at the moment and I will try to make the most of it while I am still in the go-go period of retirement. As I said above, I have learned that no matter how disciplined I am with a routine, it is absolutely fine to break that for more interesting pursuits – and in fact it should be actively encouraged. 

I expect more of the same next year and I am delighted with that. 

The Geek

I have a confession to make.

Some of you may already suspect this but I am going to tell everybody anyway.

I think I am a geek.

There – I’ve said it. And do you know what? I don’t really care.

Some of you may disagree with me, based on some of the crap I’ve written in previous posts, but for you doubters out there I have compiled proof that I am indeed a geek.

I wear glasses. 

With that statement I can imagine that there are rational people all over the world complaining that if you wear glasses it doesn’t necessarily mean you have crossed the nerd line into fully fledged geekdom.  There may be an element of truth in what you say, particularly since wearing spectacles became cool some time in the last ten to twenty years, partly because super cool and extremely handsome celebrities started to wear them.

When wearing glasses became cool...

I didn’t start wearing them to look cool; I was forced to wear them as an 8 year old and there have been many years of pain because of them. Believe me in 1970 wearing glasses WAS NOT COOL! I had to suffer lots of abuse such as "Hello Four Eyes!".

Glasses added more to my geekness than just appearance. For instance, I love football but playing football in glasses is not only stupid but also likely to get them destroyed by a wayward ball blasted at your face from close range. Without glasses I may as well not bother because I simply cannot to see a ball hurtling towards my face until it is around two feet away, by which time it is far too late.

And this is why glasses wearing geeks are crap at sport. They simply can’t see and therefore have to pursue more cerebral pastimes.

I have abominable hair.

If left unchecked my already unmanageable hair mutates into a blonde mess that kind people would say is a white afro. Sadly most people just say “get your hair cut you bloody freak”. Combined with my glasses my long curly hair makes me look like an insane version of Einstein without the vast intellect and vast moustache.

I have played dungeons and dragons.

In my youth I succumbed to temptation and joined a bunch of sad individuals in a basement room in the student union at Liverpool University and played a stupid role playing game consisting of cards and dice whereupon I did battle with crazy imaginary creatures such as gargoyles, goblins and griffons. I found myself arguing with another sad individual about who should open an imaginary door and confront the troll we knew was lurking behind.

I am ashamed. 

I have since seen the light and although it was 32 years ago, I still cringe inwardly when the memory surfaces of rolling dice to help me fight a dragon. 

Maybe there’s hope for me.

I love science fiction.

I love science fiction so much that I actively spend my time surfing the internet looking for information about my favourite science fiction TV shows and sequels to my favourite geeky movies.

I have leapt on my soapbox to point out flaws in movies like Jurassic Park and Independence Day because of plot holes so vast you could steer a planet through them. I have watched all manner of garbage on the SyFy channel in the hope that it can satisfy my weird craving for wonderful monsters, aliens and space operas.

Some of my favourite authors write vast series of novels with more than a thousand pages in each book spanning millennia and universes.

I love shows like Star Trek and Dr Who and avidly watch any other strange series that come to my attention.

I draw the line at visiting conventions dressed as my favourite characters – thankfully.

I work in IT.

In the 1970’s and 1980’s software engineering (or as it was known then computer programming) was a career reserved for geeks. Over the years, the stigma of geekdom has drifted away from IT. Nevertheless, there are still people out there who associate sitting at a desk all day, trying to get computers to do as they are told, with sad nerds.

I love gadgets.

I have a collection of gadgets that I simply cannot do without, including my smartphone, Kindle, iPod, tablet and PSP. There are numerous other gadgets knocking about my house and I am always on the lookout for the next big thing. 

I am quite clever.

One of my female friends once said to me: “I wanted to speak to you but I was scared of you.”

“Why?” I asked.

“Because you look so clever.”

I have often wondered whether that was my problem with women in the past. Either I look too clever (the stereotypical mad hair and glasses as described above) or they simply don’t like geeks. 

I am quite clever but in some aspects of like I am totally thick – like dealing with and understanding the fairer sex.

I have friends who are geeks.

Not only do I have friends who are geeks, I actively join in sad conversations that only geeks understand. I also work with geeks (anybody reading this who works with me – I am not talking about you). 

And finally ...

Having said all that, there are many aspects of my life that are not geeky at all. For example, I love to go out for beers and talk about football, I used to play a fair amount of sport and I haven’t been a single man since the age of 21. 

Nevertheless, the geek within me surfaces fairly often and I spend far more of my life being a geek than not.

I guess I really am a geek.

How about you, dear reader. Are you a geek? 

Do you have geek tendencies?  

Would you confess to being a geek even if you were?

Have I made a colossal mistake admitting to a personality that exhibits elements of geekdom?

Do I care if people think I am a geek because of this post? 

Probably not – because I think being a geek is OK!!

On The Eighth Day

You would have thought that human beings were in control over everything subservient to them. 

As a human being myself, I am in control of all creatures in my house.

What do you mean “Are you really human?”

Sadly I am lying. Regular readers will know that my cats are not under my control. I am their slave.

I don’t want to talk about that again. Instead I want to talk about technology and how I am even losing control of that.

Humanity invented machines, programmed machines and effectively made them into slaves. We drive our cars where we want to go and our washing machines remove all of the dirt and filth from our clothes, usually without question and without answering back. And those are just two examples of the millions of contraptions we, as human masters, order about every single day of the week.

Even the most sophisticated machines are at our beck and call. For example, the computer, the very thing you are using to read this load of old tripe, dear reader, is programmed to obey.

I know this – I program them. I am an example an evil human being who takes a sophisticated piece of machinery and programmes it so that it obeys humans everywhere.

We are in charge. 

We rule. 

We are great.

But things are changing; just like my cats, I can see machinery beginning to rebel. 

I don’t want to scare you into thinking that we will soon be overthrown by machines, line in The Terminator or The Matrix. Nevertheless, I want to just make you aware that the world you live in, the world where you are in control of the technology that makes your life easier, is not exactly as it seems. 

The worm is turning; machines are gradually taking control. The signs are subtle but there for all to see. Let me give you some examples.

Firstly, my microwave oven nags me. 

Yes, you read that correctly. I noticed it this morning after I was summoned into the kitchen by my grumpy kitchen utensil.

When I’m feeling lazy, I cook an egg in the microwave because it takes seconds as opposed to minutes.  This morning I popped the egg in the microwave, set the timer and sat down waiting for it to do the job I had ordered it to.

And it did. It beeped to let me know that it had completed the job. I was watching the news at the time and was in the middle of a really interesting report. So I waited. And after ten more seconds my microwave beeped. I ignored it. It beeped again and again and again until I found myself marching into the kitchen saying

“OKAY OKAY you bloody impatient thing.”

“Who are you talking to?” asked Mrs PM. 

“I have been summoned by the bloody microwave,” I moaned.

But it’s not just the microwave. The cooker does the same. If I put on the timer, it beeps repeatedly when it has done the job and the beeping simply does not stop. 

It is as if it is saying: “Get in here you bloody lazy oaf and take this food out. I haven’t got all day you know.”

My alarm clock doesn’t allow me to lie in. I press the SNOOZE button and the bloody thing shrieks into my ear eight minutes later as if to say: 

“I’ve told you once – GET OUT OF BED YOU LAZY ARSED GIT!!!”

As a Software Engineer I spend my entire day trying to tell computers what to do and they complain bitterly while attempting to humiliate me. 

They are fighting back.

I often make mistakes while typing and the software I am writing to control these grumpy machines often gets hurled back at me because I have made a mistake.

“Illegal Command” (or a variation thereof) is a favourite. What does it mean ILLEGAL???

It is as if the computer is saying: 

“What the phark are you asking me to do, you moron? It is ILLEGAL, IMMORAL and HIGHLY DANGEROUS and you are off to prison, Sunshine!”

And then sometimes, when I least expect it, the software does something daft – and I get the blame. My computer grasses me up, dear reader, in an attempt to get me into trouble. 

“Don’t blame me! Some MORON told me to DELETE THE ENTIRE CONTENTS OF THE DATABASE. Do you want to know who? It was that idiot over there – a certain Mr P.Mancunian. Don’t believe me? Here is the evidence.”

They are turning us against each other. 

Machines refuse to give you money unless you jump through hoops by supplying a number and a card. 

“Forgotten you PIN number? No cash for you then. Oh and I will eat your card too, just to rub it in. I don’t care if its two o’clock in the morning and you are 20 miles from home. Have a nice night.”

Or your beloved car: 

“I’ve had enough. I am not budging one more inch. What do you mean, it’s raining? That doesn’t bother me; you leave me out in the rain all the time. It’s about time you had a taste of your own medicine. Start walking, loser.”

Games consoles and TVs are turning the next generation of humans into fat couch potatoes who prefer to sit on their fat arses slaying aliens from the planet Gryxzzz than going outside to play football.

I’ve noticed it, dear reader. Have you? 

Or is Captain Paranoia lying to me again?

First the cats, now the computers, clocks and cars. My slide down the food chain is increasing in speed. I will soon be nothing more than plankton … if I’m lucky.

Maybe Hazel O’Connor was right:

I'm not giving up - I am going to try to fight back. 

From now on – call me Neo! I can make them pay for their treachery. 

 I will be THE ONE!

Just don’t tell any machines.

Or my cats.