Magical (?)

Welcome to an unseasonably warm South Manchester. After a disappointing rain-filled July and a similar August, the first week of September has proved to be very warm and sunny. Today I went for my daily walk and I was very hot when I got back. I was quite sweaty (but I guess none of you needed to or indeed wanted to know that).

As I look out of the window, I can see my two cats basking in the sunshine, something they haven’t been able to do for weeks. Enjoy it while you can, I say to them, because soon Autumn will kick in and we will decline gradually towards winter.

Mrs PM and I get a respite soon though because two weeks tomorrow we will be jetting off to Sicily for a week. We will be staying fairly close to Mount Etna, a volcano that is still active and has had a few minor eruptions this year (apparently it happens all the time). I shall be sending soothing thoughts to the volcano for the next fourteen days to calm it down. 

I’ve stayed near an Italian volcano before; a few years ago we went to Sorrento and we could see Vesuvius across the Bay of Naples. We also visited Pompeii where you can see first-hand how catastrophic a volcanic eruption can be. 

I’m scared of heights but I’m not scared of an active volcano. That’s how weird I am.

Anyway, enough of this bunkum. Let’s answer some silly questions from Sunday Stealing. 

1. What’s the best beach or lake day you can remember?

I’ve had a few good ones. We went to visit some friends in Richmond near London and had a wonderful picnic on the banks of the River Thames on a very sunny and pleasant Saturday afternoon. That was good.

As an eighteen year old, myself and three mates went for a weekend in Wales, staying in a remote cottage owned by the parents of one of the lads. It was about a mile from Lake Bala and we spent the whole day on the shore, venturing out onto the lake in a rowing boat that was just big enough to accommodate us all. 

I have been to so many beaches that I can’t select any one of them to stand out more than the others.

2. Describe your ideal picnic lunch

I am happy with a few nibbles, a couple of sandwiches and a either a chilled white wine or a lovely red. If there’s beer, it’s a bonus.

3. What flowers are in your bouquet?

I have no preference when it comes to flowers at all – so take you pick.

4. Silly ways to pass the time during a snowstorm

Well being out in the snowstorm is probably the silliest thing to do in a snowstorm. 

I know – I have been in several. I used to love snow as a kid but now I hate it. I remember one school day in Walsall when we had an absolutely horrendous snowstorm. It was so bad that the roads very quickly became unusable and the school was forced to close. I had to walk home – a distance of about two miles – in a blizzard that was so bad I could barely see where I was going. Worse, the snow made my glasses unusable so I had to take them off and find my way with Mr Magoo style vision. Thankfully there were no cars because the roads were impassable and I was with a couple of mates who helped guide me to my front door. I have never been so happy to sit in front of a warm fire. 

5. The most beautiful house you’ve ever visited.

There are quite a few stately homes in the United Kingdom as you can imagine and some of them are huge and amazing. It would have to be one of those I guess.

6. Best place you ever dined.

When Mrs PM and I spent three months working in Hong Kong, she persuaded me to go for an early meal at the Felix Restaurant in the Peninsular Hotel. This hotel is the most expensive in Hong Kong and has some suites that have their own butler and cost an eye-watering amount of money to spend just one night. The hotel has a fleet of Rolls Royces and only the so-called elite and super rich stay there. I was a little reluctant because company expenses wouldn’t stretch to that amount. The good news was that the early evening menu and it was a bit cheaper – but it was still expensive to me. 

The views of the city were amazing:

The food was excellent I have to say but I am sorry, that I have to lower the tone a little. Yes, I am going to talk about the toilets. They were impressive and from the urinal I could see Kowloon and it looked like I was relieving myself from the roof. Here’s what I mean:

7. How many layers to your ice cream sandwich

I’m happy with just one – maybe two if I am feeling greedy.

8. Pretty things which are faux patent leather

I imagine that you are talking about fake leather clothes and shoes. 

I have to say that I wouldn’t wear anything leather myself apart from a jacket or shoes. I have to say that I do like leather boots, jackets and skirts on ladies, especially the kind that they wear to rock gigs. I don’t care whether it is real leather or fake, if I’m honest.

9. What is the best way to eat chocolate.

Via your mouth. 

That’s obvious, isn’t it?

10. Describe your unicorn’s special magic

I wouldn’t own a horse so why would I own one that had a horn? 

Unicorns do not exist and there is no such thing as magic. Harry Potter is a fictional character. 

I did see a ludicrous question once on a philosophy exam at university. It was this:

“There is a planet that is identical to Earth but populated only by unicorns. Discuss.”

I would LOVE to answer that question.

11. All the fruits in your fruit salad

A selection from these:

Apple, grapefruit, orange, pineapple, kiwi fruit, peach, plum, grapes, melon, mango. 

I know that some of those don’t go, which is why I suggested a selection.

12. Describe the soil, grass, trees, flowers and rocks in your magical forest.

Magic doesn’t exist. The logical progression to this fact is that magical forests do not exist either. 

13. The lyrics which move you the most are:

When we die, do we haunt the sky?

Do we lurk in the murk of the seas?

What then? Are we born again?

Just to sit asking questions like these?

I know, for I told me so

And I'm sure each of you quite agrees

The more it stays the same, the less it changes

And that's the Majesty of Rock

The Mystery of Roll

The darning of the sock

The scoring of the goal

The farmer takes a wife

The barber takes a pole

We're in this together... and ever

14. What are the best sauces in the world?

I like HP Sauce on a full English Breakfast but I wouldn’t have it with anything else.

To be honest, I like most sauces so it’s a tough one to select.

15. Write a haiku about nature 

I have never written a haiku in my life so this is a first. 

Be kind to me.

Earth is beautiful

Nature makes that possible

Please don’t ruin it