Post Holiday Blues

 

Welcome to a sunny but potentially thundery South Manchester. I’ve been away for a week and yesterday, the day I arrived home, in the afternoon we had a thunderstorm of biblical proportions. Mrs PM noticed that we were short on a couple of provisions so she decided to pop to a local shop to get something. I was busy watching the news at the time and we had a lot of windows open because it was rather muggy – warm and almost uncomfortably humid. I noticed a rumble of thunder and looked outside just as there was a huge lightning strike. This was quickly followed by a huge clap of thunder and suddenly the heavens opened. The rain came down so fast and so quickly that I was quite shocked. We have a satellite dish for Sky TV and such was the force of the rain that I had to switch to the aerial because the signal was completely lost. Mrs PM, in the meantime had had the foresight to take her brolly, which worked as she walked home – for the top of her body at least. From her tummy downwards, she was drenched when she got home. 

Now, I am sure that you have been in the situation, dear reader, where you have found something really, really funny but it is just totally inappropriate to laugh? That’s the situation I was in and I somehow (don’t ask me how) managed to comfort her and listen to her without even smirking. Inside, there was a helpless beast rolling around on the floor laughing so much that he almost had an unfortunate accident – but that person didn’t leak out in front of Mrs PM. 

Even the cats were laughing – of that I am certain.

We have been to beautiful Croatia, the wonderful city of Dubrovnik, where we had a fantastic week of exploring, relaxing and over-indulging. 

It’s back to work tomorrow, hence, hence the title of this post “Post Holiday Blues”. 

Don't worry - I will cope. 

Here are some answers to silly questions from this week’s Sunday Stealing. 

1. Do you trust people at restaurants who handle your food that they aren't doing anything gross to it while you can't see them?

What choice do I have? 

If I were to demand to see them prepare the food, cook the food and present it to me I think I would offend them so much that the next time they saw me, they would probably do something horrible to it on purpose. I have been to a couple of restaurants with open kitchens before and watched these guys perform miracles in some cases just to feed me. 

I therefore have trust in them and 95% of the time the food has been good to amazing. 

2. How do you wear your hair each day?

I shower in order to beat my dreadful hair into submission. I hate my hair and I keep it short so that it is easier to control. Basically it is short on the side and one top I let it do as it pleases as long as it behaves itself – lots of water is always necessary and sometimes even styling wax. 

On holiday and when it’s really hot, I wear a hat and this makes my hair look ridiculous when I finally take it off. On those days I tend to keep the hat on so that the “style” underneath is hidden.

3. Have you ever worn:

A gas mask?

No – I have never worn a gas mask. Thank goodness.

A blindfold?

Yes – but only when playing stupid games like blin man’s bluff as a kid. 

4. Would you be willing to go hang gliding?

Absolutely not. I am scared of heights and it would be one of my worst nightmares. On my recent holiday to Dubrovnik, I refused to walk along the walls because it was too high. I have to admit that I did go on the cable car to the hill overlooking the city. It was high but I was only in the cable car for five minutes each trip. Once you are there it is high but really it is a hill so the fear of heights is subdued. It allowed me to take this picture so it was worth it:

5. What is the difference between a man's button down shirt and a woman's button down shirt?

I have no idea having never worn a woman’s button down shirt. A distant memory tells me that the buttons are on different sides but maybe a lady can confirm that for me. 

6. Have you ever taken a lock of someone else's hair?

No. I’m not sure why I would ever want to do that.

7. Have you ever given anyone a lock of your hair?

I had a lock of my hair stolen by a neighbour when I was barely able to walk. I had short tight curly blond hair as a kid and the lady in question claimed later that my hair was like that of an angel. She was rather eccentric. 

Judge for yourself (if you can from this picture). 

8. If you had a locket what would you put inside?

Probably a photo of Mrs PM and my two lads (if it would fit).

9. Have you ever written something on a bathroom wall?

When I was a young man we found a bar in Amsterdam where there was a blackboard and lots of chalk in the bathroom so it was positively encouraged to write silly and/or rude things. Since I was in a foreign country I chose to write “Walsall FC” (my favourite football team in England). It lasted that night but I imagine the whole thing was washed off ready to start again the next day.

10. When was the last time you fell down in public?

I had been to a beer festival in Stockport and as I was approaching the station I saw my bus about to pull out. I ran as fast as I could and promptly tripped up and ended up going head over heals and sprawling on the floor. I think the bus driver saw me and took pity on me, allowing me to get on the bus. My arm was bleeding and I had smashed a souvenir pint glass that I was carrying in a bag. 

Oh – and I manage to shatter my pride too. 

At least I got home though.

And by the way, I wasn’t drunk. 

And I was in my early 50’s too. 

11. Are you more aggressive or mellow?

I am definitely more mellow. I can be aggressive when something really angers me but such episodes are rare. I hate confrontation of any kind and I am more likely to walk away than to be aggressive. I like to think that if you have a calm outlook on life then you are generally more able to cope with the things life throws at you. 

That doesn’t stop me ranting though , but when I do it is usually tongue in cheek and also very amusing rather than threatening. People try to wind me up on purpose just to get me going and cheer them up. 

I am definitely trying to cut down on ranting too. 

12. What have you done with yourself to keep your life worth living?

I am a naturally inquisitive person and I believe that if you can learn something new every day then that makes life worth living. 

I also like to keep a routine to improve myself, even if it is a tiny little step a day. 

And I genuinely like people (though I am shy) and I get pleasure from watching other people having fun – though ideally I would like to be having fun with them. 

13. What is the most incredible thing you can do?

I don’t know. 

I can make some computers behave themselves and I am quite good at it, despite hating my job. 

I can sing like a cat that has had its tail slammed in a door. 

I can make Mrs PM laugh by singing the chorus to this:

J'en perds la raison dans la mer du Japon

I can speak American English, Canadian English and Australian English fluently. 

I am sure there is something else that makes me incredible – give me twenty years to work out what it is.

14. Do you bury your pets, flush them, or throw them away?

I take them to the local vet who promises to treat them with dignity and kindness for a fee.

15. What's your favourite thing that is yellow?

I can’t think of anything. I don’t wear yellow clothes because I look like an alien banana. To be honest, yellow is not one of my favourite colours at all if I’m honest. 

Ah – the walls in the room I am in are yellow (to brighten the place up as the back of the house doesn’t get much light). I will say that.

16. Do you have any tattoos or piercings?

Nope. I would look ridiculous with either. 

I once used a biro to create a tattoo on my hand when I went to work dressed up as Ozzy Osbourne for charity back in 2010. You might be able to make out the O Z Z Y on my fingers. That’s the closest I will ever get (mainly because it washed off).