Swap Bot Part Five

Welcome to a grey South Manchester where the weather is “changeable”, a word that weather forecasters like to use to soften the blow when telling us that it will rain a lot. The word “changeable” sounds okay – but the reality is that if you don’t go out with a brolly or raincoat there is a good chance you will get soaked, even if there is bright sunshine. 

Anyway, enough about the useless British weather; let’s answer some silly questions from Sunday Stealing. 

1. Does love come from the brain, the heart or elsewhere?

Who knows? 

I don’t think it comes from the brain because typically when you are in love you tend to ignore everything your brain tells you to do. For example, I climbed the Sydney Harbour Bridge because Mrs PM wanted to do it and, although she was willing to go alone, she wanted to share the experience with me. My brain was screaming at me:

 “DON’T DO IT YOU MORON! YOU ARE TERRIFIED OF HEIGHTS!”

I ignored my brain. When it was all over, I dragged her to the nearest pub to calm down my jittering body with a pint of – well … ANYTHING, she told me that she would never have asked me if she knew how scared I would be. 

The heart? Nope. Sorry the heart is just an efficient pump that keeps you alive by circulating blood to you body and has been shanghaied by romantics to sell novels by Barbara Cartland and publicise movies like the dreadful “Love, Actually” and “Sleepless in Seattle”. 

I reckon that it comes from the person you are – for want of a better word, your “soul”. I’m not a religious person or a spiritual person at all but when I think about my physical organs (brain, heart etc.) they don’t really define the person I am. And that person I am is the entity that stores love. 

There you go, dear reader. Love comes from the soul.

Sorry for the metaphysical answer. I got carried away with the question really.

2. Have you ever given a shot?

In the UK we don’t really use the term “shot”; it is an American thing. But since I speak American fluently I know what you mean. 

No, I have never given a shot and I would be very nervous about doing so. 

3. Can you lick your elbow? (Come on, did you try?)

I know for a fact that you can’t lick your elbow unless you are a cat or a dog. So I didn’t try.

4. If I was going to be talking to you for 10 minutes, what would be something really interesting you know a little bit about but would like to know more?

Oh – lots of things! For example …

If you were any kind of scientist, I would be delighted for you to improve my knowledge on whatever your area of expertise is. 

If you could play the piano, I would want lots of tips on any techniques I can use to make my useless fingers do exactly what my brain is telling them too.

I love meeting people who know more than me about subjects that I am interested in.

5. What do you think of the Sopranos?

I have never seen it but it is on the list of things I will get around to watching. I am still catching up on a few things. For example Mrs PM and I are watching “The Wire” – just started the second series.

6. Have you ever had a crush on your teacher?  How about your boss?

I had a crush on a teacher in my last year of junior school. I was about ten years old. She must have been in her twenties at the time, meaning that if she is still around she will be in her seventies now. 

I won’t name her, but she was gorgeous. I became a total teacher’s pet and in the year she taught me, I was smitten like a little puppy dog. When I left that school to go to the grammar school, I even went back a couple of times to see her under the pretence of doing gymnastics as an extra-curricular activity. 

As for my bosses, they have mostly been men but I have never had a crush on a female boss at all. 

7. Have you ever seen a movie in 3D?

Yes – and it is a waste of money. The first one I saw was at university; it was Friday 13th Part III. At the time, 3D was relatively new I think and thankfully the trend seemed to fade due to lack of interest. But recently it came back and we saw the first Avatar movie in 3D. It was okay but I would have preferred 2D to be honest. 

8. How difficult do you think it is for immigrants to come into your country?

It is getting worse. Brexit was largely about immigration and certain tabloid newspapers stoke fear into the people with sensationalist headlines that attempt to pin the blame on all the UK’s woes on immigrants. Headlines like these:

We claim to be a welcoming country but the reality is that we’re not that welcoming at all in my opinion. I will leave this discussion there in case I launch into a massive rant.

9. Do you have what it takes to go live in another country, maybe for years, where you don't speak the language as your first language?

I would love to do that. I speak a little French, German and Spanish and would welcome the opportunity to live in a place that spoke one of those languages and dive into the culture, including speaking those languages to fluency. Mrs PM did it at university and she speaks French very well (she used to speak it fluently over twenty five years ago – although she claims she is no longer fluent). 

10. Have you ever died in your dreams?

No. I’ve had weird dreams where I have been in danger but I’ve never died. I remember seeing a film called Dreamscape starring Dennis Quaid and that movie claimed that if you died in your dream, you died in real life.

11. What book should our political leaders read and why?

I would suggest 1984 by Geroge Orwell to show the dangers of heading towards a totalitarian state. Also, a book about the benefits of telling the truth would be good.

12. What is your favourite glass object?

I’m not sure I have a favourite glass object to be honest with you. I quite like a glass that I acquired from a beer festival that is the perfect shape and volume to hold a 440ml can of beer. 

13. Do you like to window shop?

I don’t like shopping full stop and I find window shopping pointless. I prefer to surf the internet for things I need to buy and, to me, that doesn’t count as window shopping.

14. Are you more likely to buy one really nice expensive outfit or a couple of cheap outfits?

I would rather buy a couple of cheaper outfits. The only time I buy expensive outfits is for weddings and things like that. I do have a penguin suit which I bought in a sale for a New Year’s Eve party and I have worn that a few times but such extravagance is the exception.

15. If you could, would you wear everything once, throw it out and buy something new?

No – that would be a complete waste of money and not very good for anybody or anything.

Either ... Or ...

Welcome to a miserable South Manchester. We are covered in grey cloud and are being soaked by sporadic showers, which is particularly annoying given that the Ashes cricket series is taking place in Manchester at the moment with just over a day left. I went to watch it yesterday to watch a very good day for England in their quest to level the series against Australia. Sadly, if the rain persists the game will end up being a draw. 

Shall we answer some silly questions from Sunday Stealing? 

1. Live on a boat or in a treehouse?

I don’t think I would fancy living in a tree house. 

I have been on a houseboat in Amsterdam and I have to say that it was a pleasant place to be. One of the guys I was working with owned it and he lived there with his wife. It had everything he needed to live in comfort. It is a place I could have lived. 

Therefore my answer is boat. 

2. No computer use for a year or no sweets for a year?

I don’t eat sweets anyway so this one is a no-brainer.  I would live with no sweets for a year.

At the moment I work in IT so it would be tempting to say no computer use – but the problem is I use them outside work too. 

3. Have $2,000 right now or be given $100 every month for the rest of your life?

Surely getting $100 dollars a month for the rest of your life is better than a one-off sum of $2000. You only have to live for just under two years to make it worthwhile.

4. Be an astronaut or an athlete?

I would definitely be an athlete – even at my age. The thought of becoming an astronaut fills me with dread. I know that I wouldn’t shatter any athletic records any more but when I was younger I was pretty good at 100m, 200m 800m, 1500m, 5000m, long jump and triple jump. I can’t say that I would be now but I would try. That is far more appealing than be blasted into space on what is effectively a massive bomb.

5. Have 50 good friends or only one best friend?

Mrs PM is my best friend and if having 50 good friends meant losing her as my best friend then I would go for one best friend.

6. Have bright blue teeth or bright blue hair?

Bright blue hair. I think I would look quite good!

7. Have the power of flight or the power of invisibility?

Given that I am scared of heights, this too is a no-brainer. 

I would have such fun if I could turn myself invisible, as long as my clothes also turned invisible. Suddenly appearing naked in a crowd because the power of invisibility has worn off would be rather unfortunate, don’t you think?  

8. Have a fun friend who is snarky or a boring friend who is kind?

I already have both. I think I would probably go for the boring, kind friend if I’m honest. 

9. Be incredibly rich but without love or be poor but have a happy marriage?

I would definitely rather be poor and have a happy marriage. You can still be happy and poor. I have never been poor but there have been times, especially as a kid, when money was tight and it is very possible to be happy under those circumstances. 

10. Have a freezing cold shower every day or a pleasant hot shower once a week?

It depends where I was. If I was in the south of Spain in the summer, I would have a freezing cold shower every day anyway. If I were in Manchester in the winter, having a freezing cold shower would be a most un pleasant experience. I think I would probably go for the pleasant hot shower once a week.

11. Be an only child or have many siblings?

I would rather have siblings. 

12. Quit video games forever or live in a desert for a month?

I play video games occasionally and to be honest I could live without them quite easily. I’ve been in the Middle East a few times and the desert is quite unpleasant, especially when the temperatures rise to a stupidly high value. Living in such a desert for a month under such conditions would be horrific. I would ditch the video games.

13. Go on a one week trip to a foreign country of your choice or a month long trip in your own country?

I would go on a one week trip to a foreign country, preferably one that I haven’t been to before. 

14. Celebrate your birthday every day or go on your favourite holiday once a year?

I have never celebrated my birthday really and, at my time of life, I would rather forget them. It would have to be my favourite holiday once a year.

15. If fish could talk, what would you ask them?

Where did you learn to talk?

Thieves Like Us

Welcome to a very changeable South Manchester. The weather is sunny and warm one hour and then thundery the next. At the moment the sun has dried the ground from this morning’s rain but the forecast is that there will be a thunderstorm this afternoon (another one) and the ground will be saturated again. 

Compare this with Europe where countries like Italy are in the middle of a heat wave with temperatures soaring above 40 degrees Celsius (104 degrees Fahrenheit). I would rather be in Manchester at the moment I have to say. 

We are going to Italy at the end of September for a week, - well Sicily to be precise. I’m looking forward to that.

Shall we answer some silly questions from Sunday Stealing? 

1. What are the 3 most important things everyone should know about you?

(a) I may appear to be an outgoing and friendly chap who can talk to anybody but inside there is a battle going on between the personification of my desire to be an extrovert and the real me, who is a shy fellow. The extrovert wins most of the time but if you find that you have managed to penetrate my outer shell, the Dave that you met socially and thought was a great guy is not that Dave all the time; he can quiet, shy and slightly vulnerable at times.

(b)  I am not impulsive at all. I have been known to be in the past but those rare occasions have been the exception rather than the norm. I take a lot of time to weigh up the pros and cons of doing anything important but once I have made up my mind, it is cast in stone. 

(c) I like to think I am a nice guy. Somebody once said to me “If you need to tell people you are a nice guy, then deep down you aren’t!” I found that way of thinking rather odd because I believe that I am a nice person. I am helpful and I will never willingly hurt or harm anything. I feel terrible if I inadvertently upset somebody. I even open windows to let flies out of the house rather than killing them. That said, if I were to find a wasp in my house, then it would be killed as soon as I could. That’s the exception. I am a nice guy – but not if you are a wasp.

2. What is the strangest thing you believed as a child?

My dad once said to me – “I’m going to make you a snowman”. I was about five years old and I thought that he was going to take me outside and cover me in snow and leave me in the garden. I read "make" as "turn you into". 

If he had said “I’m going to build you a snowman” I wouldn’t have had such a bizarre thought. 

3. Thinking of school classes, which were your favourite and least favourite?

I loved maths and chemistry. Maths was my favourite subject and I was very good at it. I was such a geeky nerd that I actually used to do extra maths homework – FOR FUN! Can you believe that? Chemistry was fun because I loved mixing chemicals and doing experiments. I was very good at chemistry but I had a tendency to break things on occasion. 

My least favourite subjects were geography and history. I found them difficult and rather tedious and couldn’t wait to give them up. Strangely, now, I am more fascinated by history. 

4. What is your favourite fast food?

I don’t eat fast food very often but it has to be fish and chips, or a “chippy tea” as it is known in Manchester. When you are in the mood for fish and chips, there is nothing more satisfying. 

5. What song comes closest to how you feel about your life right now?

6. Have you ever taken martial arts classes?

No. I did consider it at university. I watched some guys who were trying to get us to join the Karate Society and I was so impressed by their moves that I almost signed up. 

A friend of mine took up kickboxing but gave it up after a few months. I asked him why and he said “I am sick of getting beaten up all the time!”.

Another guy I used to work with is a black belt third dan karate instructor and I asked him if he had ever injured anyone. “I accidentally broke somebody’s leg once,” he said. 

I am glad I didn’t take up martial arts.

7. Does your life tend to get better or worse or does it just stay the same?

It’s getting better. There have been a couple of blips over the past ten years but the trend is definitely upwards. I am very content at the moment.

8. What arts and crafts have you tried and decided you were bad at?

All of them.

I tried painting but a child of five can paint a better picture than I can. 

I tried creating art using a computer and this is the terrible result. I call it “Naughty Cat!”

I tried woodwork and the “thing” I made fell apart after I put it down. 

I tried pottery once and ended up with more clay on my body than there was on the pottery lathe.

Basically I am the worst artist who has ever lived.

9. What is the truest thing that you know?

My name is Dave and I am a bloke.

10. Are you more of a giver or a taker?

I am both but possibly more of a giver than a taker. 

11. Do you make your decisions with an open heart/mind?

I try to but, as I hinted above, I agonise over decisions and take a long time to make them. Mrs PM is the complete opposite – she is impulsive. 

As a couple we work well because she sometimes pressures me to decide things more quickly, and I sometimes rein her in when she is too quick to make an important decision. 

It works quite well – she has made me more impulsive and I have made her less impulsive – if that makes sense. 

12. What is the most physically painful thing that has ever happened to you?

I have never really seriously injured myself. I do remember once falling downstairs as a child and though I was in agony, I didn’t damage anything other than my pride.

As a man, however, I do have a rather vulnerable spot that I won’t go into much detail about (for the sake of common decency). One day I was playing football and I tried to tackle a person who was about to take a shot. I managed to touch the ball out of the path of his foot but it found another target – that vulnerable spot. 

I dropped like a stone and was in absolute agony, rolling around like a total lunatic.

Any man who is reading this will know exactly what I mean. 

13. What is the most emotionally painful thing that has ever happened to you?

The loss of anybody close to me. This has happened a couple of times in recent years. 

14. What is your favourite line from a movie?

I have several favourite lines. Here are some of them:

15. Can you eat with chopsticks?

Absolutely. 

I learned in Hong Kong in the 1990’s when a guy from New Zealand showed me. I have used them all over China and the Far East and I am pretty handy with them.

 

Post Holiday Blues

 

Welcome to a sunny but potentially thundery South Manchester. I’ve been away for a week and yesterday, the day I arrived home, in the afternoon we had a thunderstorm of biblical proportions. Mrs PM noticed that we were short on a couple of provisions so she decided to pop to a local shop to get something. I was busy watching the news at the time and we had a lot of windows open because it was rather muggy – warm and almost uncomfortably humid. I noticed a rumble of thunder and looked outside just as there was a huge lightning strike. This was quickly followed by a huge clap of thunder and suddenly the heavens opened. The rain came down so fast and so quickly that I was quite shocked. We have a satellite dish for Sky TV and such was the force of the rain that I had to switch to the aerial because the signal was completely lost. Mrs PM, in the meantime had had the foresight to take her brolly, which worked as she walked home – for the top of her body at least. From her tummy downwards, she was drenched when she got home. 

Now, I am sure that you have been in the situation, dear reader, where you have found something really, really funny but it is just totally inappropriate to laugh? That’s the situation I was in and I somehow (don’t ask me how) managed to comfort her and listen to her without even smirking. Inside, there was a helpless beast rolling around on the floor laughing so much that he almost had an unfortunate accident – but that person didn’t leak out in front of Mrs PM. 

Even the cats were laughing – of that I am certain.

We have been to beautiful Croatia, the wonderful city of Dubrovnik, where we had a fantastic week of exploring, relaxing and over-indulging. 

It’s back to work tomorrow, hence, hence the title of this post “Post Holiday Blues”. 

Don't worry - I will cope. 

Here are some answers to silly questions from this week’s Sunday Stealing. 

1. Do you trust people at restaurants who handle your food that they aren't doing anything gross to it while you can't see them?

What choice do I have? 

If I were to demand to see them prepare the food, cook the food and present it to me I think I would offend them so much that the next time they saw me, they would probably do something horrible to it on purpose. I have been to a couple of restaurants with open kitchens before and watched these guys perform miracles in some cases just to feed me. 

I therefore have trust in them and 95% of the time the food has been good to amazing. 

2. How do you wear your hair each day?

I shower in order to beat my dreadful hair into submission. I hate my hair and I keep it short so that it is easier to control. Basically it is short on the side and one top I let it do as it pleases as long as it behaves itself – lots of water is always necessary and sometimes even styling wax. 

On holiday and when it’s really hot, I wear a hat and this makes my hair look ridiculous when I finally take it off. On those days I tend to keep the hat on so that the “style” underneath is hidden.

3. Have you ever worn:

A gas mask?

No – I have never worn a gas mask. Thank goodness.

A blindfold?

Yes – but only when playing stupid games like blin man’s bluff as a kid. 

4. Would you be willing to go hang gliding?

Absolutely not. I am scared of heights and it would be one of my worst nightmares. On my recent holiday to Dubrovnik, I refused to walk along the walls because it was too high. I have to admit that I did go on the cable car to the hill overlooking the city. It was high but I was only in the cable car for five minutes each trip. Once you are there it is high but really it is a hill so the fear of heights is subdued. It allowed me to take this picture so it was worth it:

5. What is the difference between a man's button down shirt and a woman's button down shirt?

I have no idea having never worn a woman’s button down shirt. A distant memory tells me that the buttons are on different sides but maybe a lady can confirm that for me. 

6. Have you ever taken a lock of someone else's hair?

No. I’m not sure why I would ever want to do that.

7. Have you ever given anyone a lock of your hair?

I had a lock of my hair stolen by a neighbour when I was barely able to walk. I had short tight curly blond hair as a kid and the lady in question claimed later that my hair was like that of an angel. She was rather eccentric. 

Judge for yourself (if you can from this picture). 

8. If you had a locket what would you put inside?

Probably a photo of Mrs PM and my two lads (if it would fit).

9. Have you ever written something on a bathroom wall?

When I was a young man we found a bar in Amsterdam where there was a blackboard and lots of chalk in the bathroom so it was positively encouraged to write silly and/or rude things. Since I was in a foreign country I chose to write “Walsall FC” (my favourite football team in England). It lasted that night but I imagine the whole thing was washed off ready to start again the next day.

10. When was the last time you fell down in public?

I had been to a beer festival in Stockport and as I was approaching the station I saw my bus about to pull out. I ran as fast as I could and promptly tripped up and ended up going head over heals and sprawling on the floor. I think the bus driver saw me and took pity on me, allowing me to get on the bus. My arm was bleeding and I had smashed a souvenir pint glass that I was carrying in a bag. 

Oh – and I manage to shatter my pride too. 

At least I got home though.

And by the way, I wasn’t drunk. 

And I was in my early 50’s too. 

11. Are you more aggressive or mellow?

I am definitely more mellow. I can be aggressive when something really angers me but such episodes are rare. I hate confrontation of any kind and I am more likely to walk away than to be aggressive. I like to think that if you have a calm outlook on life then you are generally more able to cope with the things life throws at you. 

That doesn’t stop me ranting though , but when I do it is usually tongue in cheek and also very amusing rather than threatening. People try to wind me up on purpose just to get me going and cheer them up. 

I am definitely trying to cut down on ranting too. 

12. What have you done with yourself to keep your life worth living?

I am a naturally inquisitive person and I believe that if you can learn something new every day then that makes life worth living. 

I also like to keep a routine to improve myself, even if it is a tiny little step a day. 

And I genuinely like people (though I am shy) and I get pleasure from watching other people having fun – though ideally I would like to be having fun with them. 

13. What is the most incredible thing you can do?

I don’t know. 

I can make some computers behave themselves and I am quite good at it, despite hating my job. 

I can sing like a cat that has had its tail slammed in a door. 

I can make Mrs PM laugh by singing the chorus to this:

J'en perds la raison dans la mer du Japon

I can speak American English, Canadian English and Australian English fluently. 

I am sure there is something else that makes me incredible – give me twenty years to work out what it is.

14. Do you bury your pets, flush them, or throw them away?

I take them to the local vet who promises to treat them with dignity and kindness for a fee.

15. What's your favourite thing that is yellow?

I can’t think of anything. I don’t wear yellow clothes because I look like an alien banana. To be honest, yellow is not one of my favourite colours at all if I’m honest. 

Ah – the walls in the room I am in are yellow (to brighten the place up as the back of the house doesn’t get much light). I will say that.

16. Do you have any tattoos or piercings?

Nope. I would look ridiculous with either. 

I once used a biro to create a tattoo on my hand when I went to work dressed up as Ozzy Osbourne for charity back in 2010. You might be able to make out the O Z Z Y on my fingers. That’s the closest I will ever get (mainly because it washed off). 

Swap Bot Part Four

Welcome to a cloudy but warm South Manchester. The sun is hiding today behind white clouds that are covering Manchester like a blanket. We may see a little later and there is the threat of rain but it is still very warm.

Last week, the Clown (aka Boris Johnson) was found guilty of misleading parliament about his antics during the Covid-19 pandemic and threw a proper hissy fit in the style of Donald Trump. He saw the report before it was publicised and promptly resigned as an MP using all manner of Trumpian rhetoric – referring to a “kangaroo court”. 

So he is no longer an MP and I dearly hope that the lying sack of potatoes never comes back into the public eye. I doubt it because his ego is as big as the planet. 

But I am glad that he has been exposed as a lying, cheating incompetent buffoon has been out of his depth for decades. 

Good riddance you useless excuse for a man.

Here is a guy called James O'Brien telling everybody what he thinks of him in a far more eloquent way that I can - and his anger is there for all to see. It's worth watching if you have ten minutes spare.

Glad to have got that off my chest. 

Shall we answer some silly questions from Sunday Stealing? 

1) What is your favourite way to spend a lazy day?

If it’s a sunny day then I will probably go for a pleasant walk somewhere and have lunch is a café or pub and then stroll home and potter about, watch some TV, sit in the garden with a book – that kind of thing.

It it’s a miserable day then I will probably just do the same but not go for the pleasant walk. 

2) What do you look forward to every week?

I look forward to Thursday at around 3:30pm when I finish work for the week. 

3) Name three pet peeves you currently have.

I’ve tried my best to avoid politics and not rant about all things political that piss me off and I am improving. I am aware that I was letting the grumpy old man inside get the better of me, allowing him to get more airtime than he should have. So I have been trying to lock him away. But occasionally certain things bring him out – like Boris Johnson. 

However, I will mention politics as a pet peeve because it has the ability to bring out the worst in me. I will take a deep breath and say that Boris Johnson in particular is a pet peeve – including his allies like Jacob Rees-Mogg – because he has now been exposed as a liar and an incompetent buffoon who should never have been Prime Minister of the UK. His antics brought about Brexit and have made the UK the laughing stock of the world as well as doing their best to damage the economy. I shall stop there because I could write an entire tome on the subject.

Pet Peeve number 2? A recent one is Shiny Happy People. Not the REM song but those that they probably wrote the song about. Those people who are all over our TV set who constantly seem to be enjoying themselves despite everything that is going on. They laugh at their own jokes (which aren’t funny) and gush over famous people as if they are from another planet. As you can guess, I don’t watch such programs.

Pet Peeve Number 3? Work. When I retire I am considering starting a new blog or at least writing a series of blog posts about the exact reasons that work pisses me off and has done for quite a few years now. All I can say is that now is not the time and a lot of people I work with are amazing and talented people who I think are incredible and who feel the same way. But there are reasons why I just want to jack it all in – and I may reveal all in the future. 

4) If you were to win an all-expense paid vacation for two weeks to anywhere in the world, where would you choose to go? What are some of the things you would like to experience while you were there?

That’s a tough question. I really want to travel around the world but you can’t fit that in in two weeks. I think I would head to the Far East and travel to places like Japan, South Korea, Taiwan and of course Hong Kong. In Japan I want to go to Osaka and Hiroshma and I would like to experience Seoul and Taipei too. My last few days would be in Hong Kong and if you are going to pay for all expenses then I will stay in The Peninsular Hotel thank you very much.

5) What was one of your favourite toys as a kid? Did you save any special things from your childhood that you still have today?

I don’t have any toys that I used to have as a kid. I gave most of them away to my cousin who has since disposed of them all. I had a lot of toys but I loved anything that allowed me to create my own little story. I had quite a few action figures, toy soldiers, figures and vehicles from shows like Thunderbirds and Captain Scarlet and I would create elaborate action stories using all manner of props. I simply got lost in the worlds I created. And I loved doing that. Part of me would like to do the same today – that imaginative child is still there. 

6) What is your favourite holiday? What is your least favourite holiday?

It is difficult to pick a favourite holiday but these are candidates:

Interrailing around Europe in 1985. 

Travelling around the United States for a month in 1989, taking in places like Washington DC, New York, New Orleans, San Francisco and Los Angeles.

Travelling around China in 1999 – the full trains, planes and automobiles experience in an incredible country, taking in Guanzhou, Chongqing, Xi’an, Beijing and Shanghai.

Working in Hong Kong for 3 months in 1999 (not really a holiday but I loved the place).

Travelling around Thailand in 2002 (ish). 

Travelling to Australia in 2005 taking in Cairns, Port Douglas, Brisbane and driving from there to Sydney over a week stopping off at various places like Byron Bay.

Traveling to Japan in 2013 taking in Tokyo, Hakone and Kyoto.

Travelling to Vietnam in 2017, taking in Hanoi, Da Nang and Ho Chi Minh City.

I could go on and I have probably missed a few of them out. 

My least favourite holiday was a trip to Thailand (Koh Samui) when it rained almost every day – massive thunderstorms that flooded the streets. We spent a lot of time in the room and when we ventured out we had to avoid getting absolutely drenched. 

7) Have you ever met anyone famous? What concerts have you attended?

I have met one or two people who are in bands that are not that famous and I have seen quite a few famous people walking around places in the general public but not had the courage to talk to them. One day I will find that courage to talk to somebody famous – just to get a photo if nothing else. 

I have been to thousands of concerts. And seen most of my favourite bands. Here are some of the biggest artists I have seen:

A-ha, AC/DC, Aerosmith, Alice Cooper, Big Country, Black Sabbath, Bruce Springsteen, Bryan Adams, Cher, Deep Purple, Def Leppard, Devin Townsend (big to me anyway), Dio, Disturbed, Dream Theater, Europe, Extreme, Faith No More, Foo Fighters, Gary Moore, Gary Numan, Ian Gillan, Guns ’N’ Roses, Iron Maiden, Joan Jett and the Blackhearts, Joe Satriani, Judas Priest, Manic Street Preachers, Marilyn Manson, Meat Loaf, Megadeth, Metallica, Motörhead, Nightwish, Nine Inch Nails, The Offspring, Orchestral Manoevres in the Dark, Ozzy Osbourne, Queen, Queens of the Stone Age, Queensrÿche, Rammstein, Riverside (big to me anyway), Rush, Slash, Status Quo, Steven Wilson (big to me anyway), Whitesnake, Within Temptation

There are many more most of which you won’t have heard of.

I will add Porcupine Tree to that list in a couple of weeks and, believe it or not ABBA. Mrs PM and I are going to London on her birthday to see the new ABBA show in London with “Abbatars” of the real band:

8) Are there any expressions that people use that really annoy you? If so, what are they?

Where do I start? 

MUST 

NOT 

RANT

Okay. Here are a few examples of words and phrases that have been abused.

Journey: “We hope you join the company on our journey to excellence”.

Like: “I was, like, about to, like, tell him, like, that he was, like, out of order, like, but he wouldn’t, like, listen”.

System: “This soap is a complete cleaning system”.

Literally: “And it was, literally, a disaster”.

Distraction (used mainly by politicians): “This Boris Johnson business is just a distraction from the job that we were elected to do”.

I could go on  …

But I won’t. 

9) Do you like your name? Are you named after anyone? Is there a story how you got your name? Would you change it if you could? If so, what name would you give yourself?

I love my name. My name is not “Plastic”; it is Dave. 

I was almost called George after my father but thankfully my mother stepped in and objected. Gerge is my middle name, which is fine. 

I don’t think I would change it though but I might be tempted to invent a new Internet Persona called Max Power for a different blog. Don’t laugh – there is a footballer in England with that name.

10) It is said that it's the little things that make life worth living. Name five of those little things in your life.

The biggest things in my life are friends and family. They are a huge part of my life so given the nature of the question they don’t count.. As for little things …

My two cats, Ziggy and Star(dust). These little creatures keep me happy and both are quite happy to cuddle up next to me while I am sitting down. It feels nice. 

Music. I have access to a huge database of music thanks to Spotify and I can listen to music whenever and wherever I want to. It calms my mood and makes me feel positive. 

A pint of beer or a cup of tea. I love both. Tea keeps me sane during the day and in the evening (at weekends mostly) a pint singles the end of the working week. 

Comedy. I guess this means anything that can make me laugh. Laughter is the best medicine and I try to do it as often as I can. 

Sunrises and sunsets – I love a good sunrise and sunset and I have loads of photos of them, some of which are actually in Manchester believe it or not. 

Scorcher

Welcome to South Manchester on a scorching Saturday afternoon. The temperature is a very pleasant 28 degrees Celsius and the sun is shining in a cloudless blue sky. I shall be popping outside later to read in the garden and relax before popping around to the neighbours for dinner and then watching the European Champions League final which features Manchester City and Inter Milan. 

Should be a good day.

I’ll start off with some silly questions from Sunday Stealing.

1. Have you tried anything new this year?

I’ve made a serious attempt at starting a novel, although this is quite tricky as I don’t write as much as I should (because of work and other distractions). I have the plot in my head and I am constantly fine tuning it. I think it works. It won’t see the light of day for a while yet though because I am my own worst critic. I probably need to retire before attacking it with gusto. 

2. What would you do if you didn’t have Wifi for a week?

I would probably write the novel because I wouldn’t be able to do my day job. I have a virtual server on my work laptop so in theory I could actually do some work; it would mean that I wouldn’t be doing my job properly. 

As far as social media and the internet are concerned, I could easily live without that for a week. In fact, perhaps I should do just that sometimes. The amount of time people waste on social media is a lot – and that is sad – but I am as guilty as everybody else (before anybody calls me a hypocrite – which, of course, I am). 

3. Do you like summer, why or why not?

I adore the summer. It is my favourite season. We get rain but it is warm and sunny usually (like today). We don’t get snow, ice and darkness. We are approaching the longest day of the year and I love going to bed as the sun is setting – I wish it was like this all year round. Sadly, I do wake up early though (sometimes as early as 4am) because the sun rises at that time. 

4. What’s one restaurant that you like in your city? What food do they sell?

I like a lot of restaurants in Manchester. One of my favourites is the Yang Sing (and it’s sister restaurant The Little Yang Sing). They sell Chinese food and it is wonderful.

5. Do you prefer digital book or real paper book?

I prefer a digital book these days because it is much easier to take a Kindle on holiday loaded with numerous novels, rather than wasting luggage space with paperback books. I know that people prefer the look, feel and smell of a real book, but sadly their days are numbered. Being able to instantly download a novel is brilliant and that is the future. 

6. What’s one thing that you are interested to buy, but it’s a bit expensive, so you haven’t bought yet?

A smart watch. I have a cheap one but the good ones cost hundreds of pounds and at the moment I simply cannot justify its use. It would be a waste of money. The problem is I love gadgets and the urge to have a new one is clouding my judgement when it comes to smartwatches. Maybe I will get one – but not yet. 

7. What tea brands do you like?

I buy Yorkshire Tea which is what foreigners would call English Breakfast tea but quite strong. Sometimes I have Typhoo or PG Tips too. 

I have had “English Breakfast tea” in many countries but they just don’t do it correctly. The only place I have had it that is as good as the UK is Australia. 

I am not a fan of “fancy” teas like Earl Grey. Once you have tasted the delights of a good strong cuppa, all other teas simply cannot live up to the taste.

8. What’s one food that you can binge eat a lot?

Cheese. I love cheese so much that I try to limit my consumption of it. 

9. Write one random thing that happened to you this month.

I don’t know whether it is random or not but I have decided on the exact date that I will retire. I will spill the beans closer to the time as I don’t want the date in the public domain yet.

10. How many long-term penpals do you have right now? (people who pen pal with you for more than 3 years)

I don’t have any pen-pals. I had a couple when I was a kid but it’s not something I continued into adulthood.

11. If you were to own a small food trailer, what food would you want to sell?

It would have to be something I could cook easily. It would probably be an English breakfast, burgers or pasta – or possibly all three. 

12. What’s one handmade gift that you received and really liked ?

My youngest sister makes lanterns and she has sent a couple to me over the years. She is far more artistic than I am.

13. What’s your ideal Saturday like?

If I am home …

Wake up without  the alarm and go for a five mile walk. Come home, shower and have a full English breakfast. Potter around for the rest of the morning doing my daily duties and then keep an eye on the football scores. Go out in the evening with friends or just with Mrs PM and then return home to watch Match of the Day before going back to bed. 

A simple day but very pleasant.

If I am away – then basically be a tourist for the day. 

14. What things do you like to buy on Etsy?

I have never bought anything on Etsy and. Looking at the web site, I probably would never buy anything on Etsy.

15. What kind Asian food do you like?

The only Asian food that I dislike is Thai food. That said, I have found some Thai food that I can tolerate but generally I avoid it. All of the other Asian food I have tried is amazing. If I had to make a choice it would be Chinese or Indian.

Pencil Pals

Welcome to a beautiful sunny day in South Manchester. I’ve got a busy day ahead of me. Today is the F A Cup final which sees Manchester City and Manchester United play each other at Wembley in London – the first time the two Manchester teams have met in a final. And there is a train strike so who knows how the fans will get down to London. 

I support neither team but I shall be watching it on TV in just under three hours’ time with my next door neighbour before we have a barbecue with them after the game. 

In the meantime shall we answer some silly questions from Sunday Stealing? 

1. What are your plans for June

It’s my eldest son’s thirtieth birthday in a couple of days, which makes me feel really old. We will be having a big family birthday meal later in the month. Also, we are going across the country to visit the small Yorkshire seaside resort of Whitby for a weekend. Towards the end of the month I am going to see one of my favourite bands in an open air gig in the centre of Manchester. The band is Porcupine Tree:

And right at the end of the month (well on July 1st) we are going away to Croatia for a week. 

Not that busy a month really but busy enough. 

2. Your mid-year resolutions or goals

They are the same as they were at the start of 2023. So far I am maintaining my habits; learning Spanish, writing every day, learning the piano etc. Nothing new will be added until the end of the year when I decide what I am going to do in 2024.

3. Are you good at taking care of plants

I hate gardening. When I was a kid, my dad was a very keen gardener and he roped my sisters and I into helping him tend to all the plants and vegetables in the garden. It turned me against looking after plants. I leave that to Mrs PM and she is quite happy to do it. However, I do help her when something heavy needs to be done. 

4. What makes you feel nourished

Food generally. 

5. Which animals do you see most in your area

Apart from cats and dogs, there is a variety of wildlife in the area. In the early morning I sometimes see urban foxes trotting around the streets. There are thousands of squirrels in the local parks and we sometimes see things like hedgehogs. There are thousands of birds around, magpies, crows, sparrows, robins etc. And of course this time of year loads of insects.

6. Books on your summer reading list

I’ve just bought “Harry Potter y la piedra filosofal” (Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone in Spanish) in an attempt to try to improve my Spanish that little bit more. I’ve read the English version of course so it will help knowing the story. 

I’ve just read a Stephen King book called “The Institute” and next on the list is a Dean Koontz novel called “The Big Dark Sky”. I also have a couple of space operas on the list but I haven’t bought them yet. 

7. Projects you want to tackle this summer

We are redecorating the back room downstairs (the room from which I am typing this). We have been gradually rearranging the house to accommodate this and make the room more modern. I was going to turn the back room upstairs into a man-cave but I have decided to use the back room downstairs for this purpose. We are also sorting out our weather-proof outhouse in order to make the most of  the space available and we are going to board up the loft to make it more usable (we hardly use it at the moment). 

So a lot of work on the house to do.

8. Do you have weddings, graduations, summer celebrations.

There are no weddings or graduations planned at all. For summer celebrations, I mentioned the stuff in June, we have a holiday to Dubrovnik, Croatia in July, as well as a couple of cricket matches. In August there is more cricket and we are going to London in August for Mrs PM’s birthday to see the Abba avatar concert and also spend a day as tourists. That’s about it – but we are travelling to Sicily in September too – I just hope that Mount Etna doesn’t erupt when we are there. 

9. Which summer snacks are you excited to enjoy again

We will have a couple of barbecues I reckon – I associate those with summer. Not sure what else there is, though I do like the odd ice cream and ice lolly. 

10. How much time do you like to take for vacations

I like to take as much as possible. If I could I would spend far more time travelling around and maybe I will when I retire. A couple of weeks away and a couple of weekends will suffice for now. This year I have been abroad three times already with another two definitely planned and hopefully a cheeky city break in the Autumn. 

11. How much has changed since last summer?

Not a lot really. I’m a year older. 

12. Something that would be out of character for you.

Doing anything crazily adventurous. I am quite a risk averse person. I have done some adventurous things like climbing Australian bridges and trying to conquer my fear of heights by going to the top of huge skyscrapers – but that is all over now. I have vowed never to do anything that stupid again. 

Please- if I ever consider it, just slap me and tell me not to be so idiotic!

13. What do you miss about winter?

Nothing. I hate winter. Actually, I quite like the build up to Christmas and New Year but the rest of it is bloody awful.

14. Your favourite free / cost effective ways to have fun

A good long walk is a great way to have a little fun and enjoy some scenery. 

15. Who do you trust most to house & pet sit

We have a cat/house sitter who is amazing. She is a Russian lady who has lived in the UK for over 20 years and adores cats. When we are away, she sends us videos of the cats and she plays with them, feeds them and keeps them company, as well as turning on lights, closing curtains etc. to make sure that people think there is somebody home. Occasionally she speaks to the cats in Russian which sounds hilarious.