Progressive Thoughts - Day 28

Today’s song is another from the brilliant Porcupine Tree called Sentimental.

This is a rather sad song about young kids not wanting to grow old and somehow stay as young as they are but with the added feeling of having wasted their life so far.

I remember when I was a kid that I really wanted to stay young and play forever, but the overriding issue that I realised would remain was the lack of money. As far as I was concerned, with money came freedom and if I had that money I could do what I wanted.

Sadly, a thirteen year old can’t always get the money they want. My parents looked after us but we weren’t rich by any stretch of the imagination. Unfortunately I went to, what was considered, the best school in Walsall, and consequently a lot of kids with rich parents also attended. The big difference was that a lot of them were pampered by their parents who gave them enough money to buy all the latest gear, whereas I missed out. I could see the unfairness of life and I think that this shaped me politically and certainly changed my outlook.

What I saw was that my own parents immensely proud of what I had achieved but some of the other kids I knew were pushed by already successful parents and really struggled to cope.

I was happy with where I was going but I didn’t like the environment I found myself in, particularly when I was at the mercy of rich kids who showed off their treasures and mocked me for not having the same wealth.

My only option was to get a job to get extra cash and it was the best thing I ever did. It was a simple job, in a newsagent but I was able to buy stuff and fight back against the more privileged kids. I worked at the newsagent from thirteen to eighteen, assisting the manager with delivering newspapers, setting up all the paper rounds, collecting money, stock taking, shelf-stacking and, towards the end, selling stuff from behind the counter.

It was all menial work but I thoroughly enjoyed the job, so much so that the manager of the shop tried to persuade me to ditch the idea of university and consider a career as a manager in the chain of shops.

Sadly that wasn’t for me and I had to disappoint him.

However, what all of this taught me was that working for money was a good thing and while it interfered with my social life a little, it meant that I did have some freedom and the ability to laugh in the faces of the pompous arseholes at school who flashed their daddy’s cash around without having earned it.

The job prepared me for a real career and when I actually started work after university, I embraced it with gusto.

Regular readers will know that I am now sick of the rat race but the truth is that I am not a kid anymore and, having worked in IT for over thirty years, I want a change. Whether I achieve my new goals in the years to come is questionable but at least I am happy being the age I am and looking towards the future as an old man with some pleasure – as long as I am physically able to cope of course.

But that thirteen year old kid is still in my head and occasionally surfaces.

I love that and don't ever want that to change.

Progressive Thoughts - Day 27

Today’s song is Incommunicado by Marillion.

The song is about fame, specifically somebody who wants to be famous but isn’t too happy about all that being famous entails.

I know for a fact that I would be a terrible celebrity and I have absolutely no desire to be famous in any way. I would definitely not want people to stop me on the street and ask for my autograph, nor would I like to be disturbed while having a meal in a restaurant or while travelling on holiday.

I would definitely not want paparazzi to stalk me relentlessly in order to capture me on photo in an embarrassing pose or situation, resulting in my face (and possibly worse) being splashed over the internet or in the tabloid news.

Worse, I wouldn’t want people from my past selling terrible stories about me to the press for money and their own fame.

It would be a nightmare.

And, to be honest, I can’t believe that people crave fame so much, Do they know what they are letting themselves in for?

I laugh when certain celebrities constantly seek the spotlight, prostituting themselves for recognition and then, when they have had enough, lash out at the very people they are trying to impress when caught at a low point.

I’ve seen so many celebrity meltdowns when a paparazzo has caught them off guard or when a shy fan catches them in a bad mood. It’s a paradox I can’t explain.

I realise that everybody deep down has an introverted part of themselves that needs solace in their own company but surely if you are the kind of person who throws yourself out there for adoration and fame, you must realise that this part of you will rarely get a chance to surface.

I also don’t understand why somebody should be famous for absolutely nothing, that is the kind of person who has nothing in their portfolio other than making an arse of themselves on a reality television show like Big Brother. These people are mostly just arses who are willing to humiliate themselves to gain fans but have absolutely no discernible talent.

And what of the fans who love these sad attention seekers?

Why would anybody be a fan of Kim Kardashian????

It is beyond belief.

In my view, a true celebrity is somebody who should be celebrated for having done something worthwhile – even better if they did so without even trying. Musicians who make people happy through their music, actors who whose talents move people in movies and plays, authors who write brilliant books, comedians who make everybody laugh; there are many more examples of people whose work should be celebrated – that’s the origin of the word “celebrity”, for crying out loud.

What I really hate are those celebrities who assume that they are better than normal people like me. You know the kind I mean; the kind of person who walks up to restaurants and say:

 “Get me a table now! Do you know who I am?”

There are many examples of “divas” who seem to think that the rest of us are sub-human. Here are some examples of laughable diva behaviour:

Justin Timberlake has one of his staff disinfect every doorknob he comes into contact with every two hours.

Britney Spears threatened to sue a London venue $5000 if the phone rang in her dressing room.

Any chauffeur who drives Kanye West must wear cotton clothes. Man-made fibre is not allowed.

Adele sent hotel staff on a 140 mile round trip to fetch pizza from her favourite pizzeria at 11pm. When it arrived finally a few hours later, she was asleep so it remained uneaten.

Mariah Carey had to be lowered onto a sofa on a TV show so that she wouldn’t crease her dress.

Jennifer Lopez has to have everything white including flowers, tables and tablecloths, candles, settees and curtains.

There are hundreds more if you care to look.

Personally, I rate myself higher than each of these bozos.

Why?

Because I am a nice guy – and that’s probably why I would be the world’s worst celebrity.

Progressive Thoughts - Day 26

Today’s song is one of my favourites, if not THE favourite, song from Pink Floyd. The song is Money and comes from the top selling album Dark Side of the Moon.

People think that this song is about how brilliant money is but let me squash that misconception right here. The song is in fact about how bad money can be and if you listen carefully to the lyrics it is obvious.

I would love to have lots and lots of money but the only reason is that it would free me of the shackles of work and allow me to escape the rat race.

I don’t want much – just enough to live comfortably, travel and buy the things that will make me content. I would not want to be a multibillionaire with so much money that I could wallpaper my house in £50 notes – that way madness lies.

It amazes me exactly how much money the world’s richest people have. What on earth would you do with it all? And how can such people live with themselves when they see extreme poverty?

I’m not suggesting for a second that all rich people are greedy selfish arses; in fact I know of some whose philanthropy is legendary.

Take Bill Gates for example. He has made billions from Microsoft and but now focusses on philanthropy and in total has given away around 30% of his fortune to charitable causes. Mind you, he still has billions left – but I can’t fault him for his morality and generosity.

I honestly don’t know what I would do if I was worth as much as some of these hugely wealthy people. I think I would follow the example of people like Bill Gates and hand it out to people whose life would be improved.

This doesn’t stop me from trying to win the National Lottery, although sometimes the top prize is much more than I can imagine owning. At the time of writing, the jackpot for the National Lottery is a cool £12 million and for the Euromillions lottery it is a whopping £62 million.

While such sums would be a drop in the ocean for people like Bill Gates, such sums would be life changing for a nobody like me.

That said, I do have a plan if by a miracle my numbers come up. I would have to thrash out the details with Mrs PM who would no doubt impose her own constraints on my new found wealth but ultimately I would get my own way.

I won’t bore you with the detail but suffice it to say that it would involve resigning immediately from my job and then jetting off on a first class round the world trip armed with a huge box of notebooks and lots of pens to make notes for a colossal travelogue.

To be fair, I probably wouldn’t even need the full £12 million and I would give a lot of it away.

I have never believed people who say that an injection of such amount of cash will not change them. Some people in the past have won lots of cash and carried on with their day jobs, which I simply cannot understand. As I’ve said, for me it would mean freedom and a way to escape the negative aspects of my life.

That said, I’ve read enough about people who have suddenly become rich and changed their life so much that they wished they hadn’t won. That I can understand because suddenly you wouldn’t necessarily know who your friends are and there might be some resentment. I heard a case of a chap who bought a huge house and moved away from where he lived and then became miserable because he lost a lot of his friends and became isolated, maybe because he became a bit of a diva.

I wouldn’t want that to happen as all and I would try my best to protect my current life (apart from work). For that reason I would remain anonymous and simply tell family, friends and colleagues that I had “come into some money” without specifying how much.

You will never see me popping a champagne cork whilst holding a huge cheque for £12 million, dear reader.

Sadly, that’s almost because I will never, ever win.

Still, I can dream, can’t I?

Progressive Thoughts - Day 25

Today’s song is a full blown epic from the genius that is Devin Townsend. The song is called Earth Day and is one of my favourite songs.

I love this song not only because it is brilliant musically, it is also a kind of piss take of all songs that try to influence people with a hidden message and the lyrics are actually quite amusing in my opinion.

So just shut your face and take a seat

Because after all, you're just talking meat

And music?

Well, it's just entertainment folks.

A friend of mine is a big fan of Irish superstars U2 and last time he saw Bono and the boys, quite a few years ago now, he was a little annoyed.

“Were they any good?” I asked. 

“Musically, yes,” he replied. “But I paid a fortune and I don’t want to pay that kind of money to be berated by Bono for not agreeing with his views.”

Apparently Bono was ranting at the audience again.

He’s famous for it and a lot of his fans are put off by his antics. I know I am and I would never go to a U2 concert for that reason. That said, a lot of people do watch them live and buy their albums so he must think he is loved. I own a couple of their albums and if you cut through the bullshit, some of them are actually okay (well the early ones anyway).

As I’ve said before in this blogathon, I kind of like intelligent lyrics when there is a message.

Sometimes I choose to ignore it but in general I don’t mind too much. I’d rather listen to a song with a message than a song about a bloke picking up a woman in a night club and spending the night together rutting like rabbits.

I find it annoying when artists impose their views on their fans. I don’t count ranting at them; I mean forcing them to adopt their views for a brief period of time.

“How can somebody do that? “ I hear you cry.

Morrissey did just that.

When fans of The Smiths turned up in Manchester to see their idol, they were greeted by a sign that said:

Furthermore, as part of his set, he played a song called Meat is Murder whilst on the video screen at the back, the audience were treated to scenes of gruesome horror from various slaughterhouses.

Do you think that’s a good thing, dear reader?

I don’t. 

I think I would have walked out of the gig and demanded my money back.

You may think that’s hypocritical and perhaps you are right but there is a difference between listening to a political rant from Bono (which to be honest I wouldn’t really enjoy either) and the total ban of meat for an audience most of whom are, like the rest of us, omnivores.

I’m not against vegetarianism or veganism – each to their own I say. I have friends who do not eat meat for whatever reason and I know and I totally understand their reasons. What I don't want is for them to spend all of their time trying to preach to me about why I should give up meat. And they don't.

If I have paid a fortune to an artist to see him perform (his ticket prices are really expensive) and am banned from partaking in a favourite foodstuff while watching (apparently) 15 minutes of horror then that artist has crossed a line.

Just to reiterate what Devin says in his song: 

And music?

Well, it's just entertainment folks.

Let’s just remember that, Bono and Morrissey, shall we?

Progressive Thoughts - Day 24

Today’s song is my favourite by Muse and it’s called Knights of Cydonia.

The song is an anthem for people who want to stand up for themselves, fight oppression and take control of their own destiny.

I particularly like the lyric:

I’ll show you a god who falls asleep on the job

How can we win when fools can be kings?

I believe this rings true particularly in recent times and, as I’ve said before, the anarchist inside me is chomping at the bit to lash out at the injustices of the world. Sensibly, I now choose to ignore him, apart from the occasional rant, mainly because I have become pragmatic about these things.

I know that there are few people in the world who totally agree with me about everything, so, when I think about it, why should anybody else listen to me when I stand up like an angry old blond ape and start pontificating about how everybody should have my ideals?

The truth is that they shouldn’t. All they will do, at best, is take my views on board and make their own judgements. That’s (kind of) what I do am starting to do myself to be honest, much to the anarchist’s disgust.

Ultimately we live in a democracy and while everything might not be perfect, at least there are ways to protest peacefully without fear of reprisals.

All of this certainly hasn’t stopped me ranting in the past, something which others have found entertaining, probably because I can be quite energetic, animated and use certain phrases (peppered with the odd expletive) to express my disgust.

There have been several targets over the years and when I look back over some of them, I have in some ways been proven to be correct. Most have been political figures but sometimes the world of popular culture is a decent and easy target.

To be perfectly honest with you, I hate ranting about politics and I try my best not to do so – particularly on this blog. Last year, in 2016, I wound myself up so much that I actually started to hate the world around me and I found that totally unacceptable.

My views on life were uncharacteristically negative and the spiral of despair threatened to go out of control.

I made a vow to stop being negative in 2017 and start thinking positively. Thus far, it seems to be working.

I almost snapped at work last week when a colleague told me about a story he had read on the internet. It involved a young female who had been cut off by her parents for being a spoiled brat. She claims it is because her boyfriend was black but her parents deny this.

What did she do? She raised $10000 through crowdfunding. People actually gave her money.

The anarchist within rubbed his hands in glee because this was worthy of a rant and, for about ten seconds, I forgot my resolution, took a deep breath and handed over the reins to the anarchist.

And then I stopped.

“What am I doing?” I asked myself. “Does this really make a difference to me? Why should I care?”

I turned to my friend and said “You almost got me!”

“SHIT!” he exclaimed. “I was looking forward to the first rant of the year!”

Another colleague said “I’m not sure I like this new Dave!” and I think she actually meant it.

To be honest, I don’t care.

I want to be happy and unless I actually move completely out of my comfort zone and start actively DOING stuff about it, as Muse suggest, I will get nowhere. In fact, even if I do that I will still probably get nowhere.

All I can do is moan and there are too many good things in life to let these monolithic developments get me down.

I used to own a mug that said “Don’t Let The Bastards Get You Down” which I bought in protest to my company’s policy of not allowing swearing in the work place.

But that joke mug has a message that is actually something deeper.

The best way out is to joke about it and hopefully you will see the mad anarchistic rants of 2016 become cynical and satirical put downs instead.

And that will piss of the anarchist no end.

Progressive Thoughts - Day 23

Today’s song is a beautiful and unusually short song from Dream Theater, a band who are infamous for writing epic long songs.  A lot of their songs are lengthy, some reaching the dizzy heights of more than twenty minutes. This song, called Wait For Sleep, is usual because it is only two and a half minutes long.

Dream Theater fall into the progressive metal category, yet a number of their songs are what you would call mellow and beautiful, featuring deep and profound lyrics accompanied by exquisite piano, mild guitars and a powerful voice.

Their songs are intelligent and I love that.

This is one of the reasons I love progressive rock generally. The genre is fundamentally rock but is largely experimental and includes other genres from jazz to classical music, from heavy metal to dance music and is full of amazing technically challenging experimentation with time signature shifts and interesting subject matter.

There are a lot of people who mock progressive rock and label it as weird.

And that’s one of the reasons I like it. I think I am drawn to weirdness and I guess that’s why some people may think that I, too, am weird.

I don’t mind that. In fact I am fascinated by it. As I said in yesterday’s post, I find myself drawn to strange conspiracy theories and people who believe in bizarre things. I love the supernatural, the idea that there are aliens out there.

Most of all I love people who simply refuse to change their principles despite the colossal amount of evidence that shoots their belief system down in flames. Such people argue that the evidence is fabricated by the government and that the rest of us are the brainwashed majority and gullible fools.

I can spend hours listening to people like this. The only problem I have is that I don’t want to offend them and sometimes I struggle to keep a straight face.

My first real encounter with such a person was, unsurprisingly, at university. I studied computer science, which involved statistics and mathematics, and, as you can imagine, my course was full of geeks. I was surrounded by intelligent people who loved science fiction and the same weird shit that I liked. I was at home. There was one guy on my course who was, like the rest of us, an intelligent geek who loved a bit of science fiction – except he took this further – he was a strange conspiracy theorist.

He was utterly convinced that UFOs were real and that the governments of the world were covering this up from the rest of us. He studied maths and had a total grasp of logic yet when he talked about his passion, that logic disappeared completely to be replaced by irrationality and paranoia.

I loved it.

Now I could provide mathematical proof to you all that the number one equals the number two. You may scoff at this but I can provide convincing proof. Of course, my proof is utterly flawed and if you apply constraints then my proof is shown up for what it is – total misdirection that was exposed by logic.

In a conversation with my wacky friend, I brought this up and he knew what I was talking about because we had both learned about this mathematical misdirection. My argument was that all of his evidence of conspiracy theory was misdirection and that when you applied logic to the proof of conspiracy then the truth was exposed and the conspiracy shattered.

And he disagreed vehemently calling me a misguided gullible fool.

I asked for his evidence that UFOs and aliens exist and, of course he could provide nothing. His argument was bizarre because he claimed he had seen UFOs in the sky himself and the fact that there was no other proof was in fact proof that the government was hiding it.

In the end I gave up arguing with him and satisfied myself from that point on with just listening to his madcap theories. I knew that he took it seriously because he had a telescope and actually spent some evenings every week scanning the night sky for unidentified lights and odd movement.

He was a magnificent crackpot and I loved him for it.

By the way, if you want me to prove that 1=2 then let me know (if I can remember that is)!

Progressive Thoughts - Day 22

Today’s song is another by British prog rockers  Arena. The song is called The Butterfly Man and is the song that introduced me to the band.

When I first heard this song, a cold shiver ran down my spine and I was struck by its spooky nature. 

My mind ran amok because the subject matter fits perfectly within the darker recesses of my imagination, the menacing section where I conjure up weird monsters that would scare me shitless should I ever be unfortunate enough to encounter them.

Such a creature is The Butterfly Man, presumably so-called because he (or it) is a collector.

Unfortunately, rather than gathering insects, the target of his collection are human souls, imprisoning them in a place from where there is no escape. 

Nobody is safe.

The implication is that the creature is not human and waits in the dark catching people when they least expect it.

I love this kind of stuff and it pushes all the buttons that put me on edge. Ironically that kind of excites me because although I am scared, I love the concept of a monster kidnapping people and effectively locking them away forever.

It’s a terrifying prospect and it would make a great book and/or movie.

I have a bit of a love hate relationship with creepy films to be honest. I love to watch them and be terrified by them but later, when I go to bed, they have ingrained themselves in my subconscious mind and consequently I sometimes struggle to sleep as my weird imagination elaborates on an already terrifying premise. 

Even if I do eventually sleep, my dreams are invaded by the monsters I have witnessed, only this time they are magnified to the point where I wake up in a cold sweat.

Basically they induce nightmares and I hate that.

“You’re looking tired,” people will say.

“Yes – I watched  scary film last night and didn’t sleep very well.”

“You utter wimp!”

One of my favourite wacky conspiracy theorists, David Icke, believes in a variation to The Butterfly Man. If you listen to the lyrics of the song, the Butterfly Man lies in wait in the dark on the edge of your consciousness, waiting to strike like a snake.

According to Icke, there are interdimensional beings that can exist just outside of our perception. If you have ever been alone and suddenly had an intense feeling that someone or something is there with you then the chances are that you have encountered one of these beings. Icke says that sometimes these creatures accidentally reveal themselves to us.

So if you are alone and have a crawling sensation something being present and, maybe, catch a glimpse of something as you turn around, just before it vanishes, then you have met one of David Icke’s interdimensional, alien, illuminati lizards.

Or it could be a ghost.

Or it could be The Butterfly Man.

Or, most likely, it could just be your vivid imagination having just read this post. If I cause this to happen, dear reader, then I apologise.

The truth is that David Icke is just a crackpot or, quite possibly an amazingly clever con man who has somehow identified something within his fans that he can exploit to pander to their own wacky conspiracy theory ideas.

As I’ve said, I am a weird fan of David Icke but not because I believe his crackpot theories. As far as I am concerned, he is a walking novel, a talking creepy horror story, a man who is entertaining most of us with an elaborate and totally incredible plot, set in the real world, embracing existing conspiracy theories in a way that entertains me.

He is not telling the truth; he is spinning a yarn – and a very entertaining one. In many ways, I believe he is just a prolific story teller and long may he continue to do so.

I love crazy, weird stuff like this.

Actually, I am alone as I type this and I have a feeling I am being watched.

Ah – I am being watched.

My big fat cat wants his dinner!