Today I did something that I do quite a few times a day.
I went to the toilet.
Yes – this is another post about toilets – I am not obsessed, honestly.
If you are in anyway offended by toilet talk – please stop reading.
For the rest of you …
I was chatting to my work colleague and he was explaining something to me and it looked like it was going to take a while. And my body was urging me to go to the loo.
So I interrupted him and said:
“I’m just off to answer a call of nature.”
And while I was answering that call, I started thinking about some of the bizarre euphemisms people use when they explain that they are off to the loo.
Yes - I am THAT weird!
I know that you are curious, dear reader, so I have done some research on your behalf. I used your name – I hope you don’t mind.
Here are some common euphemisms that tickled my interest and some that people have said to me.
I need …
… to spend a penny.
... to answer a call of nature.
... to visit George. (This was used by W’s father and I honestly thought for a while that he was going out to visit a friend. Yes I am THAT stupid sometimes.).
... a Jimmy Riddle.
... a pit stop.
... a comfort break.
... to see a man about a dog.
… to point Percie at the porcelain.
… to water the trees.
… to water the tulips.
… to shake hands with an old friend.
... to see a man about a horse.
… to free Willy.
… a tinkle.
… to take a leak.
… to powder my nose.
... to water the porcelain.
... to siphon the python.
... a squirt.
… a slash.
… a whizzle.
I think my favourite was said by eldest lad when he was about six.
“Where are you going?” I asked.
“I’m going for a short one, he replied.
It took me a few seconds to work out what he meant – a short one as opposed to a long one.
I wonder who taught him that one?
It wasn’t me.
Do you know any strange or funny euphemisms, dear reader?
I'll bet you do.
