Some Travel Photos - The United Arab Emirates

 

The last time I set foot in the UAE was this year when Mrs PM and I stopped off there both on the way to Malaysia and on the way back from Hong Kong; we had to change aircraft in Abu Dhabi because we were flying with Etihad. In fact, we were lucky on the way back because it was a couple of weeks before the Orange Goblin currently residing in the White House decided to unleash an illegal war on Iran, causing Iran to retaliate by attacking the UAE. The less said about that the better because I could rant mercilessly for hours. 

Anyway, we have actually been to the UAE a couple of times to visit because we have friends who live in Abu Dhabi. I have also stopped off there briefly on the way to Oman with work. 

I have spent almost all of my time in the UAE in Abu Dhabi apart from one day when our friends drove us to Dubai for a day trip. 

Here are some photographs:

A posh hotel in Abu Dhabi

We didn't stay here but we had a lovely brunch

The UAE is largely a teetotal country but it is possible to buy and consume alcohol, especially if you are a tourist. Usually this is restricted to hotels where tourists and expats congregate for a meal and drinks. One of the things that gatherings of tourists can do is meet for Sunday Brunch at one of the hotels and our friends took us to a couple of these. Basically you have a couple of hours where you can eat from a huge buffet with international food and drink as much alcohol as you can as part of the deal. It is not good advice to do this, however, because being drunk is not a good thing and it has been known for taxi drivers to take intoxicated people to the police. It is totally illegal for Muslims to be intoxicated there. 

Our friends have taken us to a couple of these events and they are in extremely opulent hotels like the one pictured above. Here are a couple of pictures of us at Sunday Brunch in another hotel. 

Mrs PM enjoying Brunch

Waiting for a good run at the buffet

Abu Dhabi Skyscrapers

Abu Dhabi has skyscrapers and some fabulous looking buildings. If you have ever watched the Fast and Furious franchise, then you will have seen a couple of these in Furious 7, in one of the more truly ridiculous scenes where somehow Vin Diesel’s character performs an incredible stunt involving three of the above buildings. The Fast and Furious movies really are a ridiculous in scope and craziness of both the stories and the physics-defying stunts performed, but I love them anyway. In case you haven’t seen it, switch off your brain and watch this ridiculous scene. 

And they left Abu Dhabi without anybody arresting them!

Sheik Zayed Grand Mosque

The Sheik Zayed Grand Mosque is a star attraction in Abu Dhabi and is the biggest mosque in the country. It attracts millions of tourists every year and is absolutely beautiful. It welcomes everybody but there are dress codes to respect. I had to wear long trousers and Mrs PM decided to hire an abaya for the visit, which you can do when you get your ticket. I hope the pictures below do it justice. 

A Posh Hotel in Dubai

We also had a lovely evening meal in a posh hotel in Dubai.

Burj Khalifa

I can't believe how tall this building is. I hope I wasn't shaking!!

I still have nightmares about the Burj Khalifa. It is one of the last giant edifices that I ever climbed in order to try to rid myself of my fear of heights. I never used to be scared of heights – it slowly developed since the early 1990’s and now I avoid them completely. However, in a state of gross stupidity, I went to an observation deck on the 124th and 125th floor where looking up was like looking at another skyscraper and I had absolutely no courage at all to look down. There are 163 floors so we weren't anywhere near the top. I was even scared to take the photograph above because not only do I hate climbing tall buildings, I hate seeing them from below. 

Once I was inside the building, I was okay because I can cope with seeing such views a few metres from the windows. The following photo proves that. I was pretending to buy some gold from a vending machine (there is a lot of wealth in the UAE). 

Safe inside! I think I'll buy some gold!

Mrs PM was brave enough to take a photo from the observation deck.

I wasn't brave enough to take this. Thanks Mrs PM.

Tom Cruise is a far braver fellow than me and he managed to do some incredible stunt work outside the building:

He’s absolutely bonkers!! But in the world of AI, I am equally as brave as Tom Cruise and I’ve overcome my fear of heights just for the following picture with my old pal.

500 Posts? Really?

Welcome to my 500th post. 

Yes, that’s right; I have written exactly 500 posts of bunkum in the past six years. I’m surprised that I have managed to keep this up to be perfectly honest. 

Regular readers will know that I have done a fair amount of travelling, some of it with work and the rest with holidays. In total I have visited thirty six countries (if you count England, Wales, Scotland, Hong Kong, Macau and Vatican City as countries – for poetic license I will do just that!).

I have acquired quite a few photos that are taking up a fair amount of space on my hard drive and for this special post and for a bit of fun, I have decided to share a few of them with you under the guise of lessons learned:

Not all creatures in Australia are out to kill me. Australia is full of venomous spiders, venomous snakes, vicious salties and monstrous jellyfish (and even the platypus has venomous spurs on its ankles) but the cuddly koala is harmless:

Poor Koala! (Australia 2005)

Even the plants in Australia can be dangerous.

Nasty tree (Australia 2005)

When I take over the world, I will use the robot army I discovered in Japan.

Piers Morgan - watch out! (Tokyo 2013)

Random strangers in Iceland are very friendly and like to cuddle Plastic Mancunians whenever there is a photo opportunity.

"Can I just hop into your photo?" (Reykjavic 2010)

Never ever ever EVER wear a Hawaiian shirt – not even for a laugh at a beach party in Barbados. It’s not cool and it certainly isn’t clever.

OH MY GOD!!! (Barbados 2007)

Glaciers are very cold. It is sensible to wear a warm coat and gloves. I failed.

"I really think you should wear a hat and gloves, young man!" (Canadian Rockies 2010)

Random strangers in Hong Kong are very friendly and like to cuddle Plastic Mancunians whenever there is a photo opportunity.

"My life's ambition - to meet a Proclaimer!" (Hong Kong 2013)

Don’t ever ever EVER grow a beard ever again. 

Can you actually see it? (Beijing 1999)

It is impossible to get a close up of Niagara Falls without getting your camera wet.

Can you actually see the Falls? (2001)

And finally, here are a few random pictures of some great places I have visited:

Grand Mosque - Abu Dhabi (2012)

Boston (2009)

Alaska (2010)

The Great Wall of China (1999)

Hong Kong (2008)

Kyoto, Japan (2013)

Lisbon (2011)

Niagara Falls (2001)

Pompeii (2006)

Rome (2012)

Sydney (2005)

Post 501 should be on its way soon - where normal drivelsome nonsense will be renewed.

Thank you so much for reading so far. I really appreciate it.

I Think I'm Paranoid

Research can be a dangerous thing.

Being a hypochondriac, I should know better; I choose not to use the internet to research symptoms of illnesses because if I do, I convince myself that I am terminally ill, even though I only have a mild headache (read about my past exploits here).

I should apply the same rules to travel research.

If you read my last post you will already know that I had a jaunt to Abu Dhabi recently, with a day trip to Dubai to scale the world’s tallest building (read about it here) but the lead up to the trip was a nightmare – because of research I had done on the internet.

Mrs PM suggested the trip because her friend who lives there was about to turn 40.

My first reaction was positive; not only had I never travelled to the United Arab Emirates, I had never travelled to the Middle East at all. For an explorer like myself it seemed like an opportunity not to be missed.

So I said “Yes” with no hesitation.

And then I made a mistake. I did some research.

And Captain Paranoia was sitting on my shoulder as I surfed the world wide web, laughing his tiny little socks off.

As he read the words on the computer screen, he must have thought all of his birthdays had come at once. My initial euphoria evaporated as the words sank in. It was like an enormous bubble had burst. My enthusiasm vanished.

Captain Paranoia was merciless.

Here’s what I read:

Possession of illegal drugs can result in a minimum four year jail sentence. Some over the counter drugs are illegal in the UAE.

Captain Paranoia suggested that if the customs officers found paracetamol in my luggage I would be jailed.

Videos, books and CD’s may be censored in the UAE.

Captain Paranoia suggested that my mp3 player was full of songs so offensive that I would be arrested on sight.

While you can drink in the UAE, you may find that a taxi driver will take you directly to the police station if you are drunk, where you will be thrown in jail.

Captain Paranoia suggested that I might be arrested even if I have a small glass of beer.

It is illegal to live together in the UAE if you are unmarried. It is illegal to have sex outside marriage and even for an unmarried couple to be in a car together. People have been arrested and thrown in jail for this.

Captain Paranoia pointed out that Mrs PM and I are not married and that a hit squad of Emerati police would break down our door while we were asleep, drag us off to jail and then I would have my genitalia hacked off with a rusty sword.

You can be arrested for kissing in public or even holding hands.

Mrs PM is affectionate and often puts her arm around me or pecks me on the cheek in public. Captain Paranoia suggested that I would last approximately three minutes in public before the police dragged me off to jail for acts of gross indecency.

For days, Captain Paranoia persecuted me. I had nightmares about being interrogated in an Emerati police cell for being offensive, drunk or merely being in a relationship outside wedlock. I sheepishly approached Mrs PM and told her that I had changed my mind about going.

“You must be joking,” she said. “I’ve been to places like this before and if you behave yourself and are discrete there is nothing to worry about.”

In the end, she contacted Abbi, her friend in Abu Dhabi, and listed all of my concerns. I wasn’t party to the exchange of emails and missives that occurred but Mrs PM told me in no uncertain terms that while there were stricter rules in place in the UAE, as long as you conducted yourself well, respected the local culture and didn’t do anything stupid like get smashed and urinate against the wall of a mosque, you would be absolutely fine.

And, of course, she was absolutely right.

Just before our trip, we had a meal with a friend who had divorced but then subsequently had suffered the loss of her ex-husband. She kindly offered her old wedding ring to Mrs PM so that we could pretend to be married – just to put my mind at rest.

I felt quite bad about this, but our friend just laughed and said that it was really no bother.

So we travelled to Abu Dhabi.

Captain Paranoia was with me all the time. On the flight he said “If you drink on the flight, you will be arrested at the airport.”

Of course, we weren’t arrested at all. In fact, we sailed through immigration and customs with barely a passing glimpse from the authorities.

Furthermore, when we arrived at the airport, Abbi was waiting for us and gave me a massive hug and a kiss on the cheek.

If anybody was offended, they didn’t show it.

When we arrived at Abbi’s house, Abbi and her husband Adam actually thought we had got married when Mrs PM showed the ring off – and it led to a very embarrassing discussion about getting married and me making an honest woman of Mrs PM.

Of course, Abu Dhabi and Dubai were fabulous. I loved it. I will tell you more detail about that soon.

We had no issues whatsoever.

The key was to respect the local customs and that’s exactly what we did. The Emerati we met were friendly and, although the local culture is more conservative than what we are used to in Europe, it didn’t seem anywhere near as oppressive as Captain Paranoia and the selected items I had read on the internet had led me to believe.

That said, Mrs PM and I didn’t hug and kiss each other in public, we had a few beers but were not drunk enough to offend, we respected the local Islamic culture and dressed accordingly – and we thoroughly enjoyed ourselves.

And yes, I will go back again.

The moral of this tale is to be aware of the local laws and customs of a country you visit and don’t be offensive.

You would have thought that I would have learned that by now anyway, having travelled to lots of countries in the world, including places like China and Russia.

I definitely must not take everything I read on the internet literally.

And even more importantly, I must stop listening to Captain Paranoia.