Showing posts with label John McCain. Show all posts
Showing posts with label John McCain. Show all posts

Saturday, 11 October 2008

Sarah Palin - Go Home


I don’t really like to talk about politics but for once I am going to make an exception.

Politicians wind me up. They always have done and they always will do. I cringe whenever I watch them on TV.

The politician irritating me most at the present time is Sarah Palin, closely followed by her grandfather, John McCain.

When she first appeared on the scene, like a flash from a genie’s lamp, I thought “mmm – she’s nice!” I’ll bet John McCain did as well.

Since then, however, she has grinded me down. As she has revealed herself more and more, she has irritated me more and more. She is becoming like an anagram of her name – “A Plain Rash”.

I don’t follow American politics as a rule and I don’t profess to understand what the hell is going on, but as the verbal sparring finds its way onto our TV screens in the UK it is difficult to ignore it.

Here are some of the things that annoy me about her.

(1) John McCain selected this woman as a running mate having only met her once. Why? Is it because she is a woman? Was the decision taken out of his hands? I have no objection to a woman as a politician but there is something so fishy about the whole thing that American cats must be bewildered.

(2) She is a hunter – or so she says. I loathe hunting.

(3) She has the most irritating voice in American politics. Dogs run around like demented sheep when she’s on the TV.

(4) If John McCain is elected president then this woman will be next in line if anything happens to him.

(5) She thinks that she is a typical American “Mom” but she is not like any American mothers I have met.

(6) She says “nucular” instead of “nuclear”.

(7) John McCain recently criticized Barack Obama for lacking experience. And he thinks that Sarah Palin has more?

(8) Genealogists have recently unearthed evidence to suggest that Sarah Palin is a very distant cousin of our very own Princess Diana. Is this a publicity stunt or what?

(9) Sarah Palin has very little experience of foreign affairs, which is where we would come in if fate conspired to make her President. She apparently only received her first passport in 2006. Being close to Russia does not make her an expert in foreign affairs.

(10) She claimed that Barack Obama fraternizes with a known terrorist. From what I understand, this link is very tenuous, mainly because Obama was a child when the terrorist attacks occurred and that Obama lived in the same neighbourhood as the man. Sounds a bit desperate to me.

I will be glad when all this is over and hopefully Sarah Palin will go back to Alaska and stay off our TV screens here in the UK.

I apologize for this minor diversion. Politicians bring out the worst in me. I’ll have to add to my collection of chill pills in preparation for the UK elections in 2010. Don’t get me started on Gordon Brown and David Cameron.

Monday, 15 September 2008

We're All Living In America



I have a question: Is there some kind of election going on in the United States at the moment? I’m just curious because British news has now relegated the trials and tribulations of our Prime Minister, Gordon Brown, to a supporting slot. Instead, headline news in the United Kingdom seems to consist of four people from America making speech after speech after speech after speech.

Who are these people? Why should I, as a resident of England, need to listen to their petty political bickering?

Well I shall answer these questions in this post for the benefit of my fellow countrymen.

The protagonists are:

Barack Obama, Joe Biden, John McCain and Sarah Palin.

So who are they?

Barack Obama is the first ever African American to be nominated for president. He is the Democrat party presidential candidate and has a smile that could blind an entire Republican convention. At the tender age of 47 he is considered by many to be the new JFK – that doesn’t mean he is taking over an airport in New York. He seems to have a thing for pigs that wear lipstick.

John McCain is the Republican party candidate. He is a little older than Barack Obama and he is of course white. That’s wrong – he is much older than Obama. And you’ll never guess what – he is a war hero. That’s right, he was a prisoner of war in North Vietnam for five and a half years, something he doesn’t like to talk about at all and in no way would he use this for political gain. He should be enjoying his retirement.

Joe Biden is Barack Obama’s running mate and he is not Hilary Clinton. Who is he then? He comes from Scranton, the town famous (at least in the UK) for “The Office: An American Workplace” – for my fellow Brits, that is the American equivalent of our very own “The Office” – it is very funny.

Sarah Palin is from Alaska. She is 44 years of age and is John McCain’s running mate. Apparently she thinks that she is a pit bull with lipstick. She likes hunting and is a creationist. She’s not bad looking actually and I’m sure that John McCain hasn’t selected her just for that reason. He did, after all, meet her once.

Why should I as a resident of England listen to their political bickering?

I do not know why the BBC and ITV media choose to make these people headline news. Not content with listening to Barack Obama and Hilary Clinton tearing strips out of each other for most of 2008, we now have to suffer Barack Obama and John McCain with the other two chipping in.

I just want to hear the outcome. Why not just let us know in November? I know that Americans are fiercely patriotic and this comes to the fore when American politicians rally support. In the UK we are more subtle about it. In America we hear quotes like:

Barack Obama: “My friends we live in the greatest nation in the history of the world. I hope you’ll join with me as we try to change it”

John McCain: “I'm going to fight to make sure every American has every reason to thank God, as I thank Him: that I'm an American, a proud citizen of the greatest country on earth.”

Personally I prefer the fun quotes when these guys are caught off guard:

Barack Obama: “I’ve now been in 57 states – I think one left to go”

John McCain: “Thanks for the question, you little jerk” (when asked by a student if he was too old to be president).

John McCain: "[Sarah Palin] knows more about energy than probably anyone else in the United States of America. ... And, uh, she also happens to represent, be governor of a state that's right next to Russia.”

Barack Obama: "Let me introduce to you the next President -- the next Vice President of the United States of America, Joe Biden."

In the UK, we mock our politicians mercilessly. I would like to hope that Americans do as well. From what I’ve seen of the speeches, there is enough material to keep satirists busy for the years to come.

From my own standpoint, I would vote for Barack Obama if I were American simply because I fear more of the same from John McCain. George W Bush is not popular in the UK. But despite being elected twice (what were you thinking guys?) I will miss him as president – but only because of his flawless ability to make gaffe after gaffe after gaffe when speaking. It is very scary that this man has been so powerful for the last eight years.

Here are some of my favourites:

"We spent a lot of time talking about Africa, as we should. Africa is a nation that suffers from incredible disease."

“You teach a child to read, and he or her will be able to pass a literacy test.''

"I know what I believe. I will continue to articulate what I believe and what I believe — I believe what I believe is right."

"I wish you'd have given me this written question ahead of time so I could plan for it…I'm sure something will pop into my head here in the midst of this press conference, with all the pressure of trying to come up with answer, but it hadn't yet….I don't want to sound like I have made no mistakes. I'm confident I have. I just haven't — you just put me under the spot here, and maybe I'm not as quick on my feet as I should be in coming up with one."

"There's an old saying in Tennessee — I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee — that says, fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can't get fooled again."

And my all time favourite:

"Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we."

I will finish off by saying that I love America. I have visited the country many times.

New York is a fabulous city and my heart went out to the US on September 11th 2001. Mrs PM and I spent a delightful New Year there in 1999 and my only regret was not going to the top of the incredible World Trade Center. My fear of heights got the better of me on that occasion, sadly. I’ve been to New Orleans, Washington DC, Los Angeles, San Francisco, Atlanta, Miami, Orlando, Williamsburg and of course, the centre of the gambling universe, Las Vegas itself. I have loved every place, including less obvious cities like Tulsa and Cleveland.

I will visit America again – Hawaii is on my list and I would love to go to places like Boston and Seattle.

I have been made welcome in every single place and had deep and meaningful conversations with many Americans, when on business and on holiday, sorry, vacation.

That said, I do dislike the hype that surrounds the American elections. It is more like a stage performance than an election. I will be glad when it is over and when we can begin to see British stories when the news starts again. As a proud British citizen I regard my own country as the greatest in the world - mainly because we have the ability to laugh at ourselves, we have silly town names like Sheepscar, Catbrain, Netherwallop and Wetwang and we do not take ourselves seriously.

Good luck to all US candidates and let’s hope Barack Obama makes history. I will see you on my next visit across the pond.

I’m off to watch the news now to learn more about the cosmetics used by pigs and pit bulls.