Sunday Mode

Welcome to a cloudy spring day in South Manchester with the ever present threat of a little rain later. 

On Friday night Mrs PM and I went to see The Stranglers, a punk band from the late 1970’s, who changed their style as time progressed. They are now touring to celebrate their 50th anniversary and I have to say it was a great gig. They are one of the bands that both Mrs PM and I like, which is incredible given the chasm that exists between our tastes. If you have never heard of them, here is an old song and a new song that shows how they have changed.

First, an old punk song called 5 Minutes from 1978:

This is one from 2021 called White Stallion:

Shall we answer some silly questions from Sunday Stealing?

1. What ONE thing would you change about your life? How would your life be different?

The one thing that I would change will be changing in due course, when I retire. It will be a significant event and I am not absolutely sure how my life will change. I do know that I will no longer have to work and that will be the best thing. While I really like my colleagues, I am completely fed up of working within IT as well as all the baggage that surrounds it (office politics etc.). 

I am hoping that I will expand my horizons (not sure how yet) and any remaining stress and pressure will be significantly reduced. There is some trepidation there, sure, but I think I will be a happier man.

2.  What is the hardest thing you have ever done? Why was it hard for you? What did you learn?

Trying to beat my phobias. I read that the only way to conquer your fears is to confront them head on. With all due respect to whoever said that, I disagree. Some people may succeed but I have failed miserably. It was hard and I wanted to just run away. Even low exposure is horrible. 

I tried to conquer my fear of heights by climbing the Sydney Harbour Bridge, the Berj Khalifa in Dubai, the Eiffel Tower, the Oriental Pearl Tower in Shanghai and the CN Tower in Toronto. My fear of heights has developed over the years (my theory is that it is due to my eyesight – I may be completely wrong) and I figures that if I managed to enjoy going to the top of the Eiffel Tower when I was 20 and the top of the Empire State Building in New York when I was about 28, I could overpower this ever worsening phobia that started to really develop in my 30s. I was wrong. 

I have learned that I will never go anywhere near a high building again. Mrs PM wants us to go to Kuala Lumpur when we got to Malaysia next year. 

“Let’s go up the Petronas Towers” she said. 

I have told her that I am not going anywhere near them. I will sit in a café while she climbs them.

My other fear is public speaking. I don’t intend to ever do that again either.

3. Write about the most glorious moment in your life so far.

When I compare myself to other people, I don’t think I have had that many moments that can be described as glorious. Perhaps achieving things counts, like getting an honours degree, or having children or having successes at work (which I may elaborate on some time in the future). 

I’m quite happy in my mediocre glory-free life.

4. Write about a moment you felt brave.

When I reached the bottom of the Sydney Harbour Bridge (as I said in question 2). That to date is the scariest thing I have ever done in my life.

5. What made you happy today?

It’s a dull Sunday but being woken up by a hungry cat who uses his head to nudge you from your slumber is always a happy little event.

6. What did you dislike most about growing up?

I wasn’t a happy child, I don’t think. I was shy, small and a little timid until I hit puberty when I turned into an obnoxious little brat. I am sure there were moments that I was a good kid but when I think of some of the things I used to say and do, I cringe.

7. Write about five activities you love the most and why you love them.

I love travelling because, at the time of writing, it is the only real thing that enables me to get out of my comfort zone. I am not an adventurous person by nature but when I travel I am far more willing to do things that enlighten the soul than I am stuck here in the UK. Every trip is an adventure and I can’t wait for the next trip.

I actually also love writing. While I’m not very good, I find that expressing my thoughts in words is also good for the soul. In some ways it can be very therapeutic.

Going to see live music is excellent. As I said, we were at a gig on Friday night and I always love to see people that can create music. I envy their talent and whenever I struggle with the piano, I realise just how good these guys are. 

Going out with friends is something I love because it helps me escape from the real world. It’s fun and therapeutic.

Listening to music. As I am writing this I am listening to Fool in the Rain by Led Zeppelin and I am moving my shoulders in time with the music. Again, music is very therapeutic.

8. Do you have an embarrassing moment that still makes you cringe?

Oh yes – absolutely YES!

Too many to mention. In fact I just wrote about one of them in my daily freewriting journal-type thing. I don’t want to repeat it here because it is too embarrassing. 

9. What has been your best trip so far?

That’s a difficult one. I am going to say my trip to Japan simply because I had always wanted to go there – and we made a cheeky stopover in Hong Kong too. Japan is a weird and wonderful place and I am so enamoured by it that I want to go back. I just have to discuss it with Mrs PM. 

10. What traits (physical or personal) do people notice when they meet you for the first time?

You would have to ask other people. From my perspective, I hope I come across as a friendly enough guy, if people can break down the initial shyness barrier. That said, these days I am far more likely to greet people with a warm smiling face than I used to be when I was really shy. It is much easier to talk to people these days as that particular fear is dissipating. For example, when in Germany, Spain or France, I now try to actually approach people and talk to them in their own language, which I would never have dreamed of as a younger man. 

If you are ever unfortunate enough to meet me you can judge for yourself but I will do my very best to be friendly and make you smile. 

11.  Is social media a blessing or a curse?

It is both. 

I love the fact that you can communicate with people all over the world. For example I am currently plucking up the courage to try to engage Spanish speaking people to try to improve my Spanish skills. Also, something like Facebook has enabled me to connect with old school friends and people who have moved away.

The curse side of it is that it enables lunatics, psychos and nasty people to spread their bile to the world. Worse, it has fuelled the concept of fake news so these day s you struggle to know what is the truth and what is bullshit. It can be divisive and make celebrities out of total arses. Donald Trump leaps to mind.

12. What is your greatest hope for your future? What steps can you take to make it happen?

Let’s go back to retirement. I hope that when I retire I have enough to keep me busy and leading a happy life. I think I will be fine as I have enough interests to keep me going, such as playing the piano, learning Spanish, writing, etc. 

I just wonder whether these things will be enough or whether I need to do more. For example, I plan to attend Spanish classes (as I am largely teaching myself at the moment).  Also since Mrs PM is younger than I am and has no plans to retire for a few years yet, I realise that I will be doing things in a solitary way for a while. 

I think I’ll be okay though. You will read about my exploits I am sure.

13.  What did you struggle most with today?

Nothing really. I decided on a longer walk today (about five miles) but, as is typical, the heavens opened about three miles in. Thankfully I had a brolly with me. I hate walking in the rain though. That was a bit of a struggle I suppose. 

14.  Name the biggest priority in your life right now

Working out what I am going to do in retirement. 

15. What are 5 things you wish others knew about you.

Well, I wear my heart on my sleeve and speak my mind so some people judge me on that without knowing what I am really like. What you need to know about me (which I have alluded to above) is:

• I can be quite shy. This is a subconscious thing and if I appear reticent, I genuinely don’t mean to be. I can’t help it. This is a battle I fight whenever I meet new people but if I am aware of it I can make that difference. It must work because people genuinely are surprised when I tell them. “You’re definitely NOT shy, Dave” they say. I am happy when they say that.

• There are a lot of people who I know who have never seen this blog and don’t know that I have one. While I enjoy writing it, I am still not that comfortable with people who know me reading it. I don’t advertise it to people I know.

• I’m honest. I believe we have lost some honesty in the world but I still cherish it.

• I love being with people but sometimes I need to service the introvert within.

• I can be quite funny – usually by accident.