Love Me Some Surveys

Welcome to sunny Manchester on day 462 of restrictions. Shall we dive straight into some silly questions from Sunday Stealing?

Let’s do this.

1. Ignoring nutrition, could you live off veggies for the rest of your life?

Absolutely not. Don’t get me wrong; I love vegetables and eat them all the time but I am also part carnivore and I love meat. I simply could not imagine life without steak, chicken, bacon, sausage, pork, lamb or the other lovely meats that I have not mentioned. 

I applaud those people who have decided to become vegetarian or vegan (even if a small percentage of them are trying to be “right on” and “cool” and use their vegetarianism as some kind of badge of honour – and these people do exit, dear reader, because I have met them) but it simply isn’t for me, I’m afraid.

2. Elaborate on a way you have volunteered?

I volunteered to go to America once with work. Does that count?

I will almost certainly do some volunteering when I retire.

3. Can you walk in heels, or do you feel awkward in them?

Of course I haven’t. I’m a man. And I have asked many women why they cripple themselves by wearing heels that allow them to walk only two hundred yards in complete agony, or that render their feet a complete mess when they can prise them off their body. Like this woman:

4. Any TV shows you sit down weekly to watch?

Not these days. I tend to record shows on Sky to watch later and watch other shows on Amazon/Netflix as and when I feel like it. I guess I watch the news a couple of times a day (while trying my best not to rant).

5. Will you tell someone if there’s something in their teeth?

Absolutely – and I would expect people to do the same for me.

6. Do you ever actually make your bed?

Of course I do. The only times I don’t are when Mrs PM beats me to it. Actually, even when I stay in a hotel, I tidy it up a little before leaving the room.

7. Do you make an effort to eat healthy?

Usually, yes, apart from weekends. From Monday to Friday I eat a lot of fruit, salad and fish, alongside my evening meals. At the weekend, though, I will usually try something that is supposedly “bad” for me. 

It is a question of having a balanced diet. 

I rarely eat cake and dessert though – I save those for a rare treat.

8. What kind of booze did you last take shots of?

I don’t drink spirits so I don’t usually have shots of anything. My tipple of choice is beer, although I sometimes enjoy a glass or two of wine. 

I think the last “shot” I had was tequila at a leaving party in a pub for woman who worked on my team. She insisted that I have one with her, so I grimaced, took it and then reverted back to beer.

9. What’s something you want to purchase next time you’re at the mall?

I haven’t been to a shopping “mall” (or shopping centre as we call it in the UK) for over two years now. That was to buy clothes and I guess that if I were to go again when restrictions are lifted, clothes would be at the forefront of my mind.

10. What were you doing at 10:00 this morning?

I was walking by the River Mersey, approximately half way through my four mile morning walk. The sun was out, dogs were jumping into the river (much to the disgust of their owners), joggers were jogging, cyclists were cycling, walkers were walking, magpies were cackling, clouds were drifting, trees were rustling and I was listening to (I think) some Megadeth on my iPod. 

11. What do you miss the most about your past?

My youth. I would love to have my young slim, energetic body back. My current older body isn’t too bad for its age, but there are signs that it has been used – like the odd wrinkle, the odd ache and nowhere near as much energy as I had when I was twenty years old. I still look young for my age and nobody would describe me as fat but sadly, now, it is harder to lose weight and recover from the excesses of life.

12. Last time you were really happy?

I am really happy at this moment in time. It is a sunny and warm Saturday afternoon, there is football on TV in approximately half an hour, I am going to an Indian restaurant with Mrs PM and her dad later this evening and tomorrow I am meeting a couple of mates to watch a 20-20 cricket match. What is there to be sad about?

13. Did you get a full 8 hours of sleep last night?

Not quite. I went to bed at half past midnight but was woken up at 6 o’clock this morning by two hungry cats. I managed to doze off again for an hour or so but I gave up and got up. I usually only need seven to eight hours a night anyway so I will probably catch up tonight.

14. Have you spoken to your mother or father today?

No – unless they are ghosts and were listening while I was talking to the cats.

15. Are you good at filling awkward silences?

It depends who I am with. If I know somebody really well, silences are not awkward generally. However, if it is a person I have met for the first time, I will try to talk when such silences occur. I am quite good at filling such moments with inane questions and idiotic horse droppings.