Upstream Life

Welcome to lockdown day 132 in Manchester, UK. On Thursday at midnight, the government imposed more restrictions on various places in England, including, sadly, Greater Manchester. The reasons for the increased restrictions is that the infection rate is creeping up again. In Greater Manchester there are areas where the rate is unacceptable. Where I live is okay but, being a city, it is easy to get from the places in the north of the city with a higher rate to my area, so the government has imposed the restrictions on the whole city.

This now means that we can’t go to another household, either to their garden or inside the house. Yet we can go to the pub as a household but not to meet another household in that pub. So if I go to a pub and see somebody in that pub who I know, do I have to leave? Or do I pretend that I don’t know him?

I’m a bit surprised that they didn’t close pubs and restaurants. 

Also, I have had a second lockdown haircut, thanks to Mrs PM (even though the barbers are open I ‘m not quite ready to go there for a haircut just yet). I also trimmed my beard because one of my bosses referred to me as “Grizzly Adams” on a company briefing session. I reacted by saying “You’re only jealous because I have more hair on my beard than you do on your head”, which caused a lot of amusement and probably burned a little bridge. 

I don’t care; if you can’t take it, don’t give it, I say. I don’t care if you are a member of the “senior Leadership Team” or not. 

Honestly, it won’t matter because I have known the guy in question for about 30 years. I did enjoy the comeback though.

What else is there to do on a lockdown Sunday but answer some questions from Sunday Stealing? 

Let’s dive in.

1. Name 5 people you admire and why

I am full of admiration for a lot of people I know. You won’t know them at all so I will talk about 5 people you might be aware of instead.

(a) Barack Obama – I usually try to ignore American politics and I don’t care who the President is. He is the leader of another country so why should I be interested? There are two exceptions. The first is the Orange Goblin currently living in the White House and I have absolutely no respect for the lying malignant narcissist. The other is Barack Obama who I have a lot of respect for because not only did he win two elections as a black man against the odds, he also wanted to do the right thing for his country and I felt like America was changing for the better during his 8 year tenure. Sadly, it has all gone pear-shaped now.

(b) Sir David Attenborough – He has been around my entire life, leading documentaries about the world around us and always trying to pass across the message about how we should look after our planet because it is a wondrous place. Recently he has highlighted the plight of the oceans and the harmful effects of climate change. A true legend.

(c) Sir Bobby Charlton – When I was growing up as a kid, Bobby Charlton was the footballer we all wanted to be. He played for Manchester United (okay – that’s a problem but I will forgive him) and he was in the England team that won the World Cup in 1966. A few years ago, i caught a flight to Zurich for work, and when I boarded the plane, the great man was sitting in the second row. I almost had an accident and was torn whether to just ask him for his autograph or just give him the privacy I knew he would want. I chose to just nod and smile at him – he smiled back. 

(d) Dave Grohl – known as the nice man of rock, Dave Grohl always surprises me when interviewed as being a nice down to earth guy. In Cesena, Italy, 1000 musicians played a massive version of Learning to Fly and he rewarded them by taking his band to the town and playing a 27 song set to them – and he was recovering from a broken leg having fallen off the stage some months earlier.

(e) John Cleese – I love John Cleese and he has been making me laugh all of my life, from the early days with Monty Python as well as Basil Fawlty and A Fish Called Wanda. He is still funny even now when interviewed. No other reason – he just makes me life.

There are more that I admire but these are the ones that immediately leapt to mind.

2. When was the last time you did something adventurous?

Every time I travel it is an adventure. I guess the last time I did something adventurous when travelling was a trip to Vietnam where I fired a gun for the very first time. I was terrified of doing so but I managed it. Sadly I didn’t hit the target. The whole trip was one huge adventure.

3. You felt you got older when _______

I would say when I had finished university and moved to Manchester and started work. I opened my first pay packet and saw the amount of tax I had paid to Margaret Thatcher’s dreadful government. I realized then that I was no longer a young idiot having fun in university and now had to join the rat race that has haunted me for the past 3 years. It was time to grow up.

4. What one thing that could happen today would make you extremely happy?

I would suggest that perhaps might be the total elimination of the coronavirus that is causing the pandemic we are all enduring. As far as I am concerned 2020 is written off now and I just hope we can get back to normal in 2021.

5. An experience you don’t want to go through again.

A pandemic that restricts my life.

6. One decision you made that changed your life completely.

The day that Mrs PM told me how she felt about me in Hong Kong. I decided to run with it and I have never looked back.

7. How do you participate in saving the earth?

I don’t really do as much as I should. For example, under normal circumstances I will willingly travel to distant places on an aircraft that is spewing out noxious fumes. My car still runs on petrol when really it should be electric or at least a hybrid. The infrastructure for electric cars is improving in the UK and I will one day buy one, that’s if I don’t just give up on my car and embrace public transport first. Actually, I do use public transport when I can and I also recycle. I could do more.

8. A gift you would like to get on your next birthday?

Enough cash to retire would be nice.

9. Things you miss about your childhood?

I miss the freedom that I had as a kid. I was very active and basically had a great time playing in the adjacent park. I wish I had had a pedometer then because I am sure that I would broken all records walking and running around – that’s all I seemed to do. I also loved the innocence and naivety that I had back then; as you get older, you realise that life is not as simple as you think and that is why I am a grumpy old cynic now.

10. The greatest invention?

The computer, which is the basis for every bit of technology we enjoy at the moment, such as smartphones. And they have kept me in a job for 36 years.

11. Your favourite super hero

The Incredible Hulk, closely followed by Spiderman, Batman and Superman. I think Wonder Woman is wonderful too but that is because I have a crush on the actresses who have played her.

12. Your views about veganism

I have no problem with veganism. I used to work with a vegan and I had an interesting discussion with him about his beliefs. That was in the early 1990s before the popularity of veganism rose. Most vegans I have met are fine people but I believe there are a few militant vegans out there. I’m glad I haven’t met one of those yet.

13. If you could be anything else in the world, what would you be?

A writer – if I were good enough. I would probably be a travel writer which would give me a great excuse to see even more of the world (as if I need an excuse).

14. How did you parents meet?

I’ve only heard my mum’s side. She told me that she was having a picnic with lady friends in the Arboretum in Walsall (a large Victorian park close to the town centre). My dad walked past with some of his pals and they gate-crashed the picnic to try to chat up the women. It worked in the case of my dad. My mum was about 17 and my dad was 19. The rest is history.

15. Your morning routine.

On a normal workday …

I get up at 6am and immediately have a shower. I get dressed, feed the cat if Mrs PM is still in bed, and then drive to the office.

On a lockdown workday …

I get up at 6am and immediately go for a 30 minute walk, usually with Mrs PM. I come back, have a shower, get dressed and start work in the place were I am typing this now.

On a normal weekend …

I get up any time between 7am and 9am (depending on what time I went to bed), have a shower, have breakfast and decide on a plan for the day.

On a lockdown weekend …

I get up any time between 7am and 9am (depending on what time I went to bed), go for a longer walk with Mrs PM (usually an hour or so), return, have a shower and breakfast and decide on a plan for the day.