I Wanna Know What Love Is?

It’s time for some stupid research. I’ve always wanted to know what love is and I sure that you, dear reader, are curious about love too. We think we know what love is but do we really?

I’ve decided to look into my music collection for inspiration because most bands, musicians and singers spend a lot of time writing about love – so who better to advise me?

First of all, this post needs a soundtrack – here is "Love" by the French pop group Air who seem to think that repeating the word Love over and over and over again is enough to inspire you to – well – love I guess.

Press play and continue reading – it may just help.



It seems that not all bands and artists know what love is. Foreigner famously said “I wanna know what love is” and asked you, the listener to show them. I don’t think I would want to show a bunch of middle aged male musicians what love is to be fair.

It’s a rather strange request in my view.

 Also, Howard Jones asks “What is love anyway? Does anybody love anybody anyway?"

It seems that when you are in love, you don’t necessarily know it. Whitesnake, for example, ask “Is This Love?”

I think people do love each other and with the help of my musical collection I will prove it.

So what exactly is love?

Well my research has got me slightly worried. Apparently “Love is the Law” (The Seahorses), which implies that it may be a criminal offence not to be in love or not to know what love actually is. Perhaps that’s why everybody claims to be in love without actually knowing what it is in case the love police come to arrest them. The love police, if they exist, may arrest you anyway because “Love is the Drug” (Roxy Music). Robert Palmer must have overdosed on love because he became “Addicted to Love”.

Is there some form of rehab if you suffer from such an addiction? I presume that when you have completed your therapy, you have to shatter your ties with love. Rainbow managed this because they preach that  “Love’s No Friend”.

Whether it’s a drug or not, love can be difficult to find because “Love is Rare” (Morcheeba). This is confirmed by The Eurythmics who go further and tell us that “Love is a Stranger”. If that’s the case then why do so many people claim to fall in love?

I’m confused by this. The Darkness have tried to shed some light on this by telling us that “Love is only a Feeling”; I think it’s more than that, if I’m honest and it can be quite dangerous.

Pat Benatar has warned us that “Love is a Battlefield” with The Little Angels even weaponising love with the claim that “Love is a Gun”. Presumably they used a “Love Gun” (Kiss) when in battle. Anyway, I think that if such a battle were to take place then the odds of winning are slim to non-existent. How do I know this? Because “Love Conquers All” (Deep Purple).

And there will be casualties from this battlefield too; there are no rules in this particular type of combat. Def Leppard report that “Love Bites”. This is confirmed by Nazareth who claim that “Love Hurts”.

Basically, I think we are fighting a losing battle so we may as well dive into love and embrace it, otherwise it could prove fatal because, according to Vixen, “Love is a Killer” and Brian May validates this with the cautionary note that “Too Much Love Can Kill You”. Freddy Mercury goes further and simply states that “Love Kills”.

There is hope that if you are killed or maimed  by love, you can also be revived quite easily, which is encouraging, because “Love is like Oxygen” (The Sweet).

I’m still none the wiser really because now I have established that love has many violent forms such as “Napalm Love” (Air): I was rather disturbed when I discovered this – perhaps it is a weapon used on Pat Benatar’s battlefield. There seems to be a sinister undercurrent of aggression and insanity as confirmed by the Jim Steinman who reports the existence of “Stark Raving Love”.

Perhaps we all need to fight back. I think we can do this because Def Leppard offer us hope with the existence of “Fractured Love” and The Hives report that they have seen “Love in Plaster”.

There is hope for us all; we can control love and turn it into exactly what we want. We can be a bad influence and create “Tainted Love” (Soft Cell) and “Sinful Love” (Blue Öyster Cult). If you are a bit of a sadomasochist, perhaps you can be tempted by “Dirty Love” (Thunder).

Once you have love under control you can nurture it and make it grow into “Big Love” (Robert Plant, Fleetwood Mac).

Faith No More have gone one step further and gone swimming with their “Underwater Love”.

Once you have love under control you can determine who you want to be in love with. I have some suggestions. Alice Cooper recommends “This Maniac’s in Love With You” which may be a little too hazardous for some readers (me included). If you like to live life in the fast lane with speed as your friend perhaps you could choose a “Turbo Lover” (Judas Priest).  Other options include AC/DC’s “Love Hungry Man” which, to be honest wouldn’t be my cup of tea.

The good news that you can turn to religion for inspiration. Thunder certainly appear to have done this as they told me about “The Gods of Love” - apparently you can pray to them too.

Once you have found love you need to look after it and be wary of the pitfalls. For example Aerosmith warn that “Falling in Love is Hard on the Knees”. Perhaps they are doing it wrong.

And there are things that will try to take your love away from you. Depeche Mode were victims of “The Love Thieves” who were ably assisted by Kate Bush and her “Hounds of Love” and Whitesnake’s “Love Hunter”.

If you can escape these threats you can have a lot of fun. How about riding the “Love Rollercoaster” with the Red Hot Chilli Peppers or joining The B52’s in their “Love Shack”?

Sounds like fun to me.

I hope I have helped you understand the ups and downs of love and I would like to thank my iPod for inspiration.

Please (don’t) take my advice seriously – better still do a little research yourself and let me know what you discover.

If you are struggling after all that you can go to see Level 42 who, I believe, are still offering  “Lessons in Love” at a reasonable price.

They can teach you the inspirational quote from ABC’s “The Look of Love”:

“If you judge a book by the cover
Then you judge the look by the lover.
I hope you soon recover.
Me I go from one extreme to another.”

Mrs PM knows that I love her because I always tell her that “I Love You More Than Rock And Roll”.

And that is something she cherishes.