Saturday, 21 July 2012

More Stupid Questions

I was trawling the internet the other day with my good friend Mr Google, when I stumbled across a list of stupid questions whose sole aim is to make people in cyberspace chuckle.

And being the kind of person who enjoys a good chuckle and enjoys making other people laugh even more, I thought I would share some of them with you, dear reader.

I have to admit that this isn’t the first time I’ve shared such questions; here are a few I shared way back in 2008: Stupid Questions.

Here are some more for your enjoyment:

Why is “abbreviated” such a long word?

Why has the word “monosyllabic” got five syllables?

What did they go back to before they invented drawing boards?

If you throttle a smurf, what colour does it turn?

Why are things typed up but written down?

Would you need a silencer if you were going to shoot a mime?

If you try to fail and succeed, which have you done?

Can fat people go skinny dipping?

If I turn the volume up, do I use more electricity?

When day breaks, who fixes it?

If infants enjoy infancy, why shouldn’t adults enjoy adultery?

If Sunday is meant to be a day of rest, why do we have to get up early to go to church?

Why are there Interstate Highways in Hawaii?

If you castrate a pig, is it disgruntled?

Where does a hermit go to get away from it all?

Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

What’s more, how come psychics do not win the lottery?

How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn’t grow in it?

Is drilling for oil boring?

Is there a synonym for “synonym”?

If you have 24 odds and ends on a table, and 23 fall off, what do you have left; an odd or an end?

Can you imagine a world with no hypothetical situations?

Why don’t sheep shrink when it rains?

Why is a carrot more orange than an orange?

Why doesn’t Tarzan have a beard?

Can you daydream at night?

Why is there no pine or apple in pineapple?

If work is so wonderful, why do they have to pay you to do it?

If a lighting technician is sacked, is he delighted?

If a train driver is sacked, is he derailed?

If you dig a hole at the South Pole are you digging up or down?

Why don’t we ever hear about gruntled employees?

If a policeman arrests a mime, does he say “You have the right to remain silent?”

Why does the doorbell always ring just as you have stepped into or out of the shower?

And how about you, dear reader - have you got any examples of stupid questions?


Anonymous said...

My father used to amuse(?) us with questions like - "If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth?" (Do I need a comma after Booth?)

Plastic Mancunian said...

Hi Grace,

Or indeed the plural of goose is geese but moose is not meese...




River said...

Re the cartoon "am I stupid?"
Yes. Yes I am. I must be, my father told me so. He meant it too, the silly old bugger.
Moving on.....
I love the odds and ends question! The others all made me chuckle too.

Plastic Mancunian said...

Hi River,

I don't think you're stupid.

I think everybody has moments of stupidity - I know I do. But I just admit it and get on with it.




DelGal said...

Dearest PM -

I've got an answer about fat people and skinny dipping! Just saw a beach sign in a souvenir shop - it said Fat people don't skinny dip, they chunky dunk!

But seriously, why doesn't glue stick to the inside of a bottle?

If a cow laughs, does milk come out of her nose?

And my favorite...

If a man is talking in the forest, and no woman is there to hear him, is he still wrong?

Plastic Mancunian said...

Hi Lady from Delaware,

"Chunk dunk" - like it :0)

As for your last question - men are never wrong; when a woman tells me I am wrong, I just ignore her, knowing that I am always right.

So there