Mix and Match

Welcome to a sunny and cloudy South Manchester where the sky is covered in white and light grey cloud. I have seen the sun today and I think I might see it later.

The football season starts today (YIPPEE!) and I will be wathcing my team, Walsall, later hoping that they win their first game.

In the meantime, shall we answer some silly questions from Sunday Stealing? 

1. I am looking forward to ...

I am looking forward to Friday next week when we travel to Nice for four nights, primarily to celebrate Mrs PMs birthday. I have been brushing up on my French and, while it’s not as good as my Spanish, I should be okay. If I’m not, I will rely on Mrs PM who can speak French really well, having lived in Toulouse for a year while at university. 

Last time we went to Nice, it was Bastille Day back in 2016 when something dreadful happened, which you can read about here.

Nice is beautiful so such events haven’t put us off the place and I am looking forward to revisiting the city immensely.

2. Least favourite words

There are certain word that get on my nerves when used badly, especially in business-speak. Here are some examples:

Journey – this word is inoffensive but has been shanghaied into something else. I blame Simon Cowell and his bloody terrible show “Britain’s Got Talent” where the failed contestants embark upon a “difficult journey” or have had a “terrible journey to get to this point in their lives”. Now, it has been used and abused in the world of business. For example “We hope you all join us on our journey to a new way of working”. 

Like – this word has been grabbed and hung out to dry by the youth of today. It’s now used totally out of context as a pause word. For example “Last week, like, I was, like, going out with Sharron and, like, she bumped into Dave, her ex-boyfriend and he was, like, giving her the evil eye, like and I said, like, you know, like, just forget him, like …” and on and on it goes.

There are some nasty words that I just don’t like; words like:

Maggot, Mucous, Phlegm, Bile, Ingest, Bloat …

I could go on.

3. If I ruled the world

I have to rein myself in here, dear reader, because there is so much wrong with the world. I do have a plan, should I become World President to rid the world of everyone who aims to destroy it, be unpleasant, or basically people who I simply don’t like. 

My plan is to build a fleet of spaceships and send all of these people out there to explore our galaxy looking for a new planet to colonise. Actually, preferably a different galaxy and, let’s face it, it’s a one way trip.

Here are some candidates for a space flight:

Piers Morgan, Nigel Farage, Boris Johnson, Suella Braverman, Priti Patel, Donald Trump, Simon Cowell, Jamie Oliver, James Corden, Kanye West, all of the Kardashians, David Miscavige, Tucker Carlson, David Cameron, Valdimir Putin, Kim Jong-un, Jim Davidson, Katie Hopkins, Jacob Rees-Mogg, Elon Musk …

And that is just the tip of a very, very large iceberg.

4. Favourite websites and blogs

I love all of the blogs I read. I have a few favourite websites that I go back to a lot, such as the BBC web site and a few websites that cover football and music. 

5. Things I do for myself

Everything that I can do. For example, I don’t examine my own teeth – I let the dentist do that for me because I am unqualified and would do a very poor job. Similarly when I go to Nice next week, I will allow the pilot of the aircraft to fly me there because I cannot fly one myself. 

6. Weekly rituals

Work is a weekly ritual (for a few weeks more). I have a list of daily duties such as writing, learning Spanish, trying to play a piano and walking. There are a few things that are weekly duties such as household chores, writing this blog (though I will increase the frequency from late September). Nothing particular leaps to mind apart from that, but there are definitely things that I do weekly.

7. DIYs I want to try

I can do some DIY but I am not very good. For example, I’m not bad at building furniture from IKEA, doing some electrical work such as light fittings. I can paint and put up shelves etc. The thing is I hate DIY really because while I can do it, it does frustrate me and I’m at the point in my life where I am definitely not going to try to expand my DIY horizons into such realms as building, plumbing etc. 

8. On my shopping list

I have just bought a few new T-shirts, shorts etc for my trip to Nice and also the one to Skiathos in September. There are a few gadgets I might look at but nothing is pressing. 

9. Places to see in your town

Manchester is a great place to visit. The city has loads of museums, restaurants, pubs and bars as well as other places of interest, such as sports stadia like Old Trafford football ground (home to Manchester United), the Etihad Stadium (home to Manchester City) and Old Trafford cricket ground. We have loads of music venues of varying sizes including a brand new one called Co-op Live which is the largest indoor arena in Europe. Alongside this, we have the AO Arena which is also huge, plus smaller venues like the Manchester Apollo Theater, Manchester Academy plus its three smaller venues. There are a few theatres too where you can see plays, musicals, opera, ballet etc. We have a couple of comedy clubs too. There are lots of different areas to explore, each unique in their own way plus some of the surrounding towns are interesting too. 

It's a great place.

10. Road trip must-haves

I don’t really like road trips, I have to say. I find them a little dull. If I were to do a massive road trip across Europe, Australia or the US, I would want a lot (and I mean A LOT) of decent music to listen to and interesting people with me to keep me from being bored out of my mind. 

11. Guilty pleasures

I don’t believe in the term guilty pleasure. 

But while I was walking this morning, a couple of songs appeared in my playlist that people would be surprised to know that I like because they are not what they would expect me to like, given my preference for progressive rock, heavy metal and hard rock. Here they are:

I don’t care what people say; I love those songs and many more besides them.

12. Things I'd rather be doing right now

Walking around a foreign city. And this time next week I will be doing just that.

13. Books I'd like to read this year

I have a load of books on my Kindle that I aim to finish this year. Some are sci-fi, others are slightly supernatural and I think there’s a thriller in there somewhere. I will have more time to do just that when I retire. 

14. Lessons learned

Never argue with a policeman unless he or she is a family member.

Never catch a ferry from the UK to Holland if you have a hangover. 

Never try to conquer your fear of heights by climbing up the tallest building in the world. 

Never eat a raw chilli pepper.

Never sit next to a person on a flight who is scared of flying.

15. Vacations to take

As I said, I am going to Nice next week. After that I am going to Skiathos in Greece for a week in September. And then I am meeting my old university buddies in Budapest, Hungary in October. We are also hopefully going to Malaysia in January, calling in to Hong Kong on the way back. Oh and we're going to Malta next May with Mrs PM's mum and uncle to celbrate her 80th birthday.

16. Olympic events I like to watch or follow

I don’t usually watch the wall to wall coverage of the Olympics but I sometimes dip in and out of it. I usually watch the athletics but I also like the cycling events too. It depends and I have seen some of this year’s games in Paris when I’ve had an hour to kill. 

Still in the Summertime

 

Welcome to a warm South Manchester where, in the last week, summer has graced us with its presence. It’s been warm and sunny and lovely and hopefully it will carry on through this weekend. 

I’ve just been to see Deadpool and Wolverine, which I found funny and highly entertaining. I would recommend it.

Shall we dive into some questions from Sunday Stealing? 

1. How would your pet describe you

My two pets would describe me as a hot water bottle, a serf, a slave, a bodyguard and an unreliable oaf. 

I know my place.

2. Tell us a story..

Okay – here’s a story I told on this very blog waaaayyyy back in 2009. It happened to a friend of mine from university even further back in time – in 1984. Brace yourself.

The story illustrates a common mistake that anybody could make (or so my mate said – I’m not sure that I believe him). Picture the scene. At university a group of us were in a night club trying to look cool at the edge of the dance floor and make eye contact with the females in the place. I was failing miserably and horribly (as usual).

Of course, several beers had been consumed and we were all slightly tipsy. My friend, let’s call him Wally, was struck by an irresistible urge to answer the call of Mother Nature. Unfortunately for him, this would not be a quick call. In retrospect I was aware that this might have been the case because the look on his face had become more and more desperate as he had tried to hang on. I mean did he honestly think that it would “go away”?

Ultimately Mother Nature was very insistent and told him in no uncertain terms that he had a choice. Either he find a toilet NOW or she would not be responsible for the consequences; he chose wisely and quite literally sprinted to the toilet.

“Gents” toilets in nightclubs the world over are worse than the third level of hell and this particular toilet was no exception. This is possibly the reason why Wally had hung on for so long. Knowing that he required a cubicle rather than a urinal, Wally raced into the “Gents” and burst straight into the nearest cubicle. Unfortunately, it was occupied – by a woman!

She screamed.

Wally screamed

In extreme panic, and as if it would make a difference, he mumbled an apology and fled. Such was his embarrassment and distress that he was out of there in a flash and into the other toilet, safely ensconced in a cubicle before the worst happened. As he sat down, his embarrassment at having entered that “Ladies” by mistake was momentarily subdued by his relief. It took a while before his alcohol soaked brain registered the fact that he had made a colossal error and seen a girl perched on the throne.

As he sat there waiting for nature to take its course, he considered what had happened and decided that perhaps he had got away with it. After all, in his mind, he had left the poor woman so quickly that she had almost certainly not seen him properly. Perhaps it was his confused alcohol-addled brain that convinced him he was fine.

But it wasn’t fine at all.

The toilet door burst open and in ran a hysterical female hotly pursued by her friend.

“Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God!” she said.

“What’s the matter?” said her friend said.

“I’ve just done something terrible. I’ve just wandered into the “Gents” by mistake. There I was, sitting on the loo when this bloke burst in and caught me with my pants down. I screamed!”

“How did you manage to go to the wrong loo?” said her concerned friend.

“I was in a hurry …”

The conversation continued.

Wally’s world collapsed around him. He had not made the initial mistake; the girl had. The original toilet was indeed the “Gents” and he was now perched on a throne in a cubicle in the “Ladies” toilets.

To make matters worse, just about every other woman in the night club chose that precise moment to go to the toilet. Girl after girl poured in; some tried the cubicle door (which thankfully was locked); others chatted about guys in the club; still more reapplied their make-up. Wally was deafened by the chatter but his brain filtered out all of that; all he heard were the words of the girl he had upset as they boomed into his head.

“I feel awful,” the unfortunate woman continued. “I can’t go back out there: I might bump into him. I’m going home.”

“You can’t go home,” her friend said. “He won’t even remember you – that’s if he’s still in here.”

And so it went on …

… and on …

… and on …

… and on …

Wally by this time had long finished his business and sat there waiting for the girls to depart, hoping that the Earth would split open and swallow him up. Sadly, the girls remained, discussing her trauma for what seemed like an eternity. To make matters worse, he had been on the throne for so long that his legs were becoming numb. He had been sitting there for ages, his elbows resting on his knee and his face cradled in his hands, shaking his head in despair.

Desperate times called for desperate measures; Wally had to act.

“I’m so embarrassed,” continued the girl. “I can’t think of anything worse.”

Wally bit the bullet. He opened the door and walked out of the cubicle at that precise moment.

“I know exactly how you feel,” he said to the girl as he casually walked out.

3. What do you pack in your beach / hiking bag

In my beach bag, I usually take a towel, a hat, my Kindle, my wallet, my phone, sun tan cream and my earbuds. 

4. How do you like to spend great weather weekends

We usually try to get outside. I love a good walk or even just to sit in the garden with a book. We also pop to the pub for a beer or two in the beer garden. Such weather isn't that common in the UK so we make the most of it when we can. 

5. Describe a time when the circumstances fell in your favour

The time when we bought our house was quite lucky really. In the UK, house prices were rising quite quickly so we bit the bullet and put an offer in on the house we now own. Sadly, we had problems with people pulling out of buying our previous place and this meant that we had delays. In the meantime the price of the house was going up and up. The then owners, thankfully, decided to have patience with us and also they didn’t raise the price so we got it at the price we offered. We were very lucky.

6. Which summer sounds do you enjoy

General outdoors sounds. At 6:30 in the morning when I stroll around, there are few cars and people and I can listen to the sound of the birds singing, especially if I go for a walk down by the river, which is lovely at this time of year. 

7. It’s not really summer until ..

I wear my shorts.

8. What music are you listening to these days

I’ve been listening to a few really good songs that I have discovered and rediscovered in the past few months. Like these:

9. How much has changed since last summer

Not an awful lot to be honest. I am a lot closer to retirement, which happens at the end of this summer. The weather in July was slightly better this year. 

10. What are your favourite things to wear in summer

It depends on the weather. If it’s warm like it is today, I like to wear a T-shirt and shorts. 

11. What do you miss about winter

Nothing. I hate winter. Actually, that’s not true. I like Christmas and New Year and it’s good sitting in a cosy lounge with Mrs PM and the cats. But I hate the short days, the cold and the terrible weather. 

12. How would you spend summer vacation as an adult

Travelling. If I had a bottomless pit of money and no responsibility I would be away. 

13. Describe your ideal get together/party

I’m not that fond of parties to be honest. I prefer smaller gatherings with fewer people. I will always go to a massive party if invited but if I am the one organising such an event it will be a much smaller and cosier event with close friends. 

14. What makes you feel like part of your community

Good neighbours and a decent place locally where you can hang out and get what you need. I live in a leafy suburb in South Manchester with great transport to get us to the city if we want to. The truth is that we tend to stay locally because there are good restaurants, shops, parks and pubs. It’s nice where I live. 

15. How was your July 2024?

The weather was a bit dodgy until the last week, resulting in a cricket match I was going to being abandoned but the last week of the month was very pleasant and it looks like, for now at least, it is continuing into August. I did manage to get to Old Trafford a couple of times before the month was over. Sadly there were no holidays in July but there will be one in a couple of weeks and another in September and October. July is usually a good month as long as the weather makes it good. 

InThe Summertime Again

Welcome to South Manchester on a sunny summer’s day. The weather seems to be improving now – let’s hope it stays that way.

Shall we answer some silly Sunday Stealing questions? 

1. What are your plans for August

I have quite a busy August. First I will be doing a “Real Ale trail” with a couple of mates. This involves catching a fast train directly to Huddersfield, a town that is just over the Pennines in Yorkshire, before catching a slower return train that stops at a couple of the stations back to Manchester where we will stop off in a local pub and have a pint before catching the next one. Some of the places are scenic little villages surrounded by hills and lovely countryside. It will be fun.

We’re also going to Nice in France for four days around Mrs PM’s birthday to just take in the beauty of the French Riviera and relax by the sea. We are staying in the old town and will almost certainly venture out of the city, perhaps to Cannes or Monte Carlo on the small state of Monaco. 

I will be going to a cricket match too, a test match between England and Sri Lanka, as well as seeing the band New Order. 

Finally I am going to a tribute band festival in Prestwich, North Manchester, where I will see tributes to bands like Rush, Ghost, Metallica, AC/DC and Metallica.

2. Your mid-year resolutions or goals

They are pretty much the same as they were back in January and still on track. My goals are linked to my resolutions and the big one this year was retirement, which is happening in about a month and a half. I need to start considering what I will aim to achieve in 2025 soon; I might just wait until I actually retire before doing that. 

3. Are you good at taking care of plants

I would say I’m average. I have inadvertently killed a couple over the years but others have thrived. 

4. What makes you feel nourished

Food. How else can I answer that?

5. Which animals do you see most in your area

There are quite a few dogs and cats but there are also loads of different types of birds and I also see the occasional urban fox and lots of grey squirrels. 

6. Books on your summer reading list

I have a couple of Dean Koontz novels waiting to be read as well as a couple of sci-fi thrillers. I will get through a couple when I go to Nice that’s for sure. 

7. Projects you want to tackle this summer

Nothing in particular leaps to mind. I had a massive reorganisation earlier in the year and I think that’s enough. I like to relax in the summertime. 

8. Do you have weddings, graduations, summer celebrations

Nothing coming up this year, although I did go to a friend’s wedding last month. My eldest son is getting married in just over a year’s time.

9. Which summer snacks are you excited to enjoy again

I eat pretty much the same all year round, but in the summer perhaps I will have some ice cream as a treat. 

10. How much time do you like to take for vacations

As much as life allows me. Sadly there are constraints that limit my time, like work (although that constraint will be lifted when I retire). Money is also an issue of course but I will be happy to spend as much as I can on such things. Mrs PM will be another constraint (and I mean that in a nice way) because she is younger than me and has no plans to retire for at least another five or six years. Cats are also a constraint because I can’t just leave them for ages. Such constraints are a good thing though really because if I didn’t have them I would bever be in the UK – and I love it here. England is my home and I always look forward to coming back. Moreover it makes holidays that much more special when you actually take them. 

11. Where are your favourite picnic locations

I don’t really do picnics but if I were to have one I would choose, a beach or a lakeside or riverside in the country.

12. Something that would be out of character for you

Being nasty. I don’t bear grudges and I don’t like people who are nasty generally. I have lost my temper once or twice but I try not to do so. Even if somebody is nasty to me, I find it hard to retaliate because such things can escalate and people end up saying and doing things they regret. I am more likely to walk away and avoid such people. 

13. Which summer movies are you excited to see

I am planning to see Deadpool and Wolverine next week. I enjoy the Deadpool movies because they are funny and violent and this one promises to be the best of all of them. 

14. Your favourite free / cost effective ways to have fun

Manchester is a great place to have free fun. I can easily get to the city centre if I want to see a museum or two and I am close enough to the countryside to be able to go for a lovely walk, if I choose. 

15. Who do you trust most to house & pet sit

We have a Russian cat-sitter who doubles as a house sitter. We’ve known her for about three years and she loves the cats. When we are away, she comes in twice a day and feeds the cats but also stays with them for a while to keep them company, as well as making sure that the house is safe. She has lived in the UK for many years but she still has a Russian accent and to hear her talking to the cats is very funny, especially when she sometimes slips back into Russian. She films them on her phone and sends the videos via WhatsApp so that we can see them while we are away, which puts Mrs PM’s mind to rest. It works really well for us. She is a cat lover of course and she has a beautiful cat of her own. 

 

Dave Was Here

Welcome to a very sunny and warm South Manchester. Last week I was due to go to a T20 cricket match but the rainy weather ruined it completely resulting in the game being abandoned before a single ball was bowled. I am going to try again today and I hope that I will have more success because the weather is so lovely. Having said that, there is a global IT outage today which has resulted in various worldwide services being affected. It has caused some issues here in the UK but nothing, hopefully that will ruin the cricket. The tram network is moving, my bank appears unaffected and I have cash so keep your fingers crossed. 

Let’s answer some silly questions from Sunday Stealing. 

1.  What would you put in a time capsule?

I have several large time capsules upstairs in my attic. Actually, it is several storage boxes that really should be labelled

“Dave was here (1978)” through to “Dave was here (2023)”

consisting of what a lot of people would call junk. To me, however, it is personal junk and I love it. 

Strictly speaking though, a time capsule is meant to hold present day objects that you bury for somebody in many years’ time to find and get a picture of what life was like way back in 2024, so I couldn’t really put old stuff in there should I create one now. For 2024, I would put in:

Today’s newspaper (sealed), a printout of the journal post I wrote today, a PS4 game I have literally just finished, my work notebook (which I won’t need for much longer), a recent bit of tech (like my old smartphone), a recent boarding pass, a cricket ticket, a photo of myself, Mrs PM and the cats, my old glasses from last year and a polo shirt with my company’s logo emblazoned on it. 

That should do I reckon. 

2.  What’s something you’re really good at?

I’m very good at moaning and ranting but I’ve been trying to mellow over the last year or so. The recent change in UK government will go a long way to helping me achieve this because the Tory party are now, hopefully, a spent force. 

I’m also very good at making certain computers do the right thing. 

3.  What part of society would you like to change?

I am constantly appalled at the unfairness of society. We live in a world where the less-well off are considered inferior to the so-called well off and the mindset of certain people seems to be “who cares?”. If I had any power at all I would like to equalise this a little. 

4.  What have you eaten in the past 24 hours?

Starting from yesterday lunchtime, I have had a salad, a chicken pasta, some flame raisins and almonds, a banana, an apple, a peach, a satsuma, a cheese and ham sandwich, several cups of tea, a mixture of apple and orange juice, a couple of glasses of water and two bottles of Peroni. 

5.  What is an unusual fact about you?

I am terrified of heights but I have visited and climbed some of the tallest structures in the world including the Eiffel Tower in Paris, the Burj Khalifa in Dubai, the Empire State Building in New York, the Transamerica Pyramid in San Francisco, the Oriental Pearl Tower in Shanghai and the CN Tower in Toronto. 

When I say “climbed” I don’t mean that literally; I have just been inside them and been to the top (or as near as possible). 

We are planning to visit Malaysia next year and Mrs PM wants us to climb the Petronas twin towers in Kuala Lumpur but I have already told her that I am not going anywhere near them. 

I’ve also mentioned that I actually did climb the Sydney Harbour Bridge. Never ever again!

6.  Do you collect anything?

I certainly used to but I don’t really collect anything anymore. I used to collect football programmes and beer mats. I am now using Spotify but before that I used to collect CDs. I certainly still have the football programmes and CDs but I threw away the beer mats many years ago. 

I guess electronically, I collect Kindle Books and I have a fair collection of hardback books and non-fiction books that Mrs PM has done her best to wipe out over the years. I have put my foot down though and (before she stamped on it) I managed to persuade her that having a book case with lots of books is actually aesthetically good for the lounge. 

7.  Have you played sports?

My only sport these days is walking.

In the past (and in my youth) I have played football, rugby union, badminton, squash, tennis, basketball, hockey, softball, rounders and cricket. I have jogged, run in cross country races and, as far as athletics is concerned, I was quite good at 100m, 200m, 800m, 1500m, 5000m and 10000m as well as long jump and triple jump.

I’ve tried javelin throwing, shot putt and discus but I was hopeless at them as I was at high jump. 

My best was reserved for middle distance running, where I made the school team. 

I can also swim and have played water polo (but badly). 

8.  What is your favourite blog?

The Plastic Mancunian, of course. 

Only kidding. I haven’t got any real favourites because all the blogs I read are amazing, including all those I read on Sunday Stealing – mainly because it gives me an insight into other places and different lives. A special mention has to go out to my Australian blog buddies, such as Pandora at “Princess Pandora – Queen of Denial” , “Elephant’s Child” and River at “Drifting Through Life” because we have been reading each other’s blogs for a few years now. 

9.  Ketchup vs. mustard?

Ketchup wins hands down because I hate mustard, especially English mustard which is absolutely disgusting.

10.  Do you believe in ghosts or aliens?

I would love for both to exist and I dearly hope they do. 

I wouldn’t say I believe in either because I am one of those people who needs absolute proof. 

I live in a house that is over 120 years old and if ghosts do exist then there must be spectres hovering around the rooms watching me as I go about my business. They probably think I’m really weird but I don’t care. To be honest, if they did make their presence known in a scary way I would be terrified. I would hope that are more like the ghosts in the BBC (and now US) sitcom Ghosts.

As for aliens, I would like them to be like this guy:

rather than this guy.

11. The last movie you saw in a theatre.

I haven’t been to the cinema for a few months. The last movie I saw was this one:

I will probably pop out to see Deadpool and Wolverine when it comes out in a week or two. 

12.  The silliest thing you have done this week.

Sadly, I don’t think I’ve done anything silly apart from cracking the odd joke in a work meeting. I do that occasionally. 

13.  Have you ever done anything illegal?

Some people may say that publishing rubbish and inane posts on a blog is illegal (or at least should be). If so, then guilty as charged. 

14.  What would you wish for right now?

I would love enough money to be able to travel around the world for a year. 

15.  What shoes do you wear the most ?

I guess that would be my trainers (or sneakers in American English), though I do have a great sturdy pair of walking shoes for my daily walk. 

In The Summertime

In the summertime, when the weather is high

You can stretch right up and touch the sky

Welcome to South Manchester in what is supposed to be summertime – but isn’t really. It’s quite cloudy with a bit of sun but we haven’t really had what I would call a typical summer day in the UK apart from a week or two in June. 

We have been told that climate change will bring wetter summers to the UK and based on the washout that was July and August 2023 I think they are right. 

I live in hope though. I will get a taste of summer in mid-August despite the weather in the UK because we will be off to Nice on the south coast of France for Mrs PM’s birthday. And a week after I retire, we will be going to Greece for a week – so it will be hot there.

The theme of this week’s Sunday Stealing is summer so let’s dive in and imagine the weather is fitting of such a post.

1. What is the hottest temperature you've seen this summer so far? 

The highest temperature in Manchester this year was back in June and I think was about 25 degrees Centigrade. Such temperatures are pleasant without being uncomfortable. The highest temperatures we usually see are about 31 degrees Centigrade but the record was smashed two years ago when it reached 38 degrees Centigrade. Mrs PM and I both had Covid-19 which was good thing but I recall our cats being so hot they didn’t know what to do with themselves. The highest ever temperatures I have experienced were 45 degrees Centigrade in Las Vegas and 46 degrees Centigrade in Muscat, Oman. Those temperatures were unbearable and I feel for people who have to endure them.

2. What is your favourite summer beverage?

I usually drink a lot of water in the summer, sometimes flavoured with fruit juice but definitely accompanied by ice cubes.

When it comes to alcoholic drinks, I usually switch from ale to lager as it is more refreshing and usually a lot colder. 

3. Have you seen any fireflies/lightning bugs yet? Cicadas?

We don’t get lightning bugs or cicadas in the UK. However, I have seen both in the past and certainly heard cicadas. Lightning bugs surprised me and at first I didn’t know what they were. We were in Cleveland, Ohio, having an outdoor meal with the family we were staying with when I saw a group of them hovering around in the darkness. The kids were trying to catch them and that’s the first time I heard the term “lightning bug” – I had known them as fireflies but I had no idea why they were called that. 

4. What are the last 3 things you bought online?

The last three things I bought online were purchased about two hours ago. In October I am going to Budapest for a reunion with my old university pals. We’re going for four nights and the flights don’t really fit in with our planned dates, so I had to buy two separate flights with different companies for the outward and return flight. And of course, I booked a hotel room too. 

5. Where do locals go to cool off?

As I hinted above, we don’t really get very hot days in Manchester but when the temperature reaches about 20 degrees Centigrade and the sun comes out we all just go outside and sit in the sun, whether it be the park, countryside, seaside or simply in a pub garden – or in my case, a cricket match. When it gets too hot, people will just go home or back inside the pub. 

6. Where did you buy your last postcard and what was on the pc?

I haven’t bought a postcard for about 40 years. 

7. What's your favourite summertime scent?

I love the smell of the English countryside. When the weather is sunny and warm, there are few things better than going for a walk in and around a small village in the Lake District, Peak District or Cheshire and the country smells are lovely (if you aren’t too close to a farm of course). However, generally, just walking around, you can smell summer flowers and that is also lovely. 

8. What kind of a/c do you have - central, room, fans only, chillers, none and what temperature do you set it to?

We don’t have it because It doesn’t get hot enough to have air conditioning in the UK. 

9. Do you have a summer vacation planned and if so, where are you really going??

As I said above, we are planning to go to Nice in France for four days in August and  then to Greece in late September for a week. 

10. What are your favourite summer activities? 

We go out for walks in the countryside, I tend to watch a few cricket matches and, if we can, we go abroad for a while. But I am equally happy sitting in the garden with a cold drink. 

11.  What's your favourite summertime food?

I eat more salads in the summer but my eating habits don’t change too much. 

12. Did you ever go to summer school?

No. As a kid we used to live next to a park and back then parents used to just send kids out all day. Those days are long gone. 

13. What's your favourite summertime memory?

As a kid, we had a huge heatwave in the UK back in 1976 that lasted for weeks. It was really hot and sunny all the time and it didn’t rain, leading to a water shortage in the UK as a whole. Despite that, as young teenagers, we spent loads of time having fun outdoors, with water pistols etc, as well as eating loads of ice cream and ice lollies. 

As an adult, I tend to go abroad and the biggest holidays I had that have great memories are a four and a half week trip to the US, two interrail trips to Europe lasting about three weeks each, a visit to Japan and a “Planes, trains and automobiles” trip around China. 

Every holiday is brilliant though. 

14. Do you like fireworks?

I used to like them as a kid. Today I’m quite ambivalent about them. 

15. How do you feel about the longer days of summer?

I love the longer days of summer. It’s great when it is still light at 9:30pm and at 4am. I especially like going for my daily walks at 6:30 am with the sun shining and nobody else around apart from dog walkers and joggers. I feel like I’ve got the whole world to myself. 

Sadly we are in July so the days are getting shorter – but it’s still good for now. 

A Few More Favourites

 

Welcome to a sunny South Manchester. This time, politically, the sun is shining on the UK because after 14 years of incompetence and lies, the Conservatives have finally been turfed out and the Labour Party won. 

Our new PM is Sir Keir Starmer. Hopefully now, instead of Broken Britain we will have a government that cares about the people rather than self-interest and self-aggrandising bunch of grifters and arses. 

Several cabinet ministers lost their constituencies but the two that made me smile most are the haunted Victoria pencil, Jacob-Rees Mogg and Liz Truss, the shortest serving Prime Minister in history who lasted 45 days having crashed the economy in her first budget. 

A Haunted Victoria Pencil

I have to dig this video out again of Liz Truss being utterly useless.

Anyway – enough of that. Let’s have some silly questions from Sunday Stealing: 

1. What's your favourite animal? 

As far as pets are concerned, I am a dog and a cat person. I don’t have a dog but I do have two cats and that is mainly down to Mrs PM. However both of my next door neighbours have dogs as does my eldest son so they help fill the dog-shaped hole in my life. 

2. What's your favourite book? 

I don’t really have one in particular but I can list a couple that I really like:

The Necroscope Saga by Brian Lumley – I really should reread this vampiric horror novels again.

The Dark – James Herbert – a really scary horror story by an English master. 

The Stand by Stephen King – a post-apocalyptic masterpiece from Mr King.

The Bourne Ultimatum – Robert Ludlum – the final Bourne book that Robert Ludlum wrote. 

The Matarese Circle – Robert Ludlum – a one-off novel that is amazing.

Recursion – Blake Crouch – a mind-bending sci-fi novel.

The Night’s Dawn Trilogy – Peter F. Hamilton – a space opera spread over three huge novels.

Matter – Iain M. Banks – a wonderful sci-fi novel.

3. What's your favourite colour? 

That would be teal. We now have two teal sofas in our back room (the one I am currently typing in). They are gorgeous.

4. What's your favourite dessert? 

I am not really a dessert person. I usually opt for cheese and biscuits as a post-dinner treat. If forced to choose I would probably go for chocolate brownies, lemon sorbet or chocolate ice cream.

5. What's your favourite drink? 

My favourite day to day drink is tea. My alcoholic drink of choice is a decent ale like Timothy Taylor’s Landlord. 

6. What's your favourite food? 

The list is too great. But I love Indian, Chinese, Mexican and Italian food – in fact most food apart from Thai.

7. What's your favourite hobby? 

I have three current favourite hobbies. I am currently learning Spanish and brushing up on French for a trip to Nice in August. I also write nonsense on a daily basis and am trying my best to learn the piano.

8. What's your favourite movie? 

There are too many movies to single out just one. I love the Marvel Cinematic Universe movies and sci-fi epics like Inception as well as quirky films like Inglorious Basterds, The Warriors and the Matrix. 

9. What's your favourite restaurant? 

There are a few restaurants I go to quite often. These include the Yang Sing and Little Yand Sing in Manchester as well as our local Nepalese restaurant. But I’m not that fussy.

10. What's your favourite sandwich? 

Ham, cheese and salad with mayonnaise. 

11. What's your favourite season? 

Definitely summer. We are in summer at the moment and so far it’s been a little disappointing. I’m hoping that things improve in July and August. 

12. What's your favourite series? 

I have too many to mention. I would say that a recent favourite is The Boys and there is a new series currently on Amazon Prime. It’s violent, funny and contains one of my favourite villains called Homelander who is like an evil Superman.

13. What's your favourite snack? 

Cheese on toast.

14. What's your favourite sport to watch? 

Definitely football (or soccer in American). We are currently in between seasons but I am currently enjoying the European Championships which reaches its quarter final stage this weekend and, remarkably, England are somehow still in the competition. 

15. What's your favourite thing to have for breakfast?

I usually have fruit for breakfast but I treat myself to an omelette at the weekend. 

Welcome Druids

 

Welcome to a sunny and warm South Manchester on the longest day of the year. The sun rose at 4:40 am this morning and will set at 21:41 this evening. Realistically it will won’t get dark until after 10pm tonight.

Maybe summer will finally be here now, given the that so far June has been a bit dodgy at best.

Last weekend I saw the Foo Fighters at Old Trafford Cricket Ground and there was a threat of rain all day. Thankfully, we avoided the rain, although it was pretty dull at times with thick grey cloud threatening to unleash it’s contents all over us.

In other news, I can confirm that I am finally going to retire this year. I handed my notice in back in April and will quit forever in the middle of September, marking exactly 40 years of working in IT (almost to the day). I can’t wait. I’ve had enough now and it is time to move on and start doing fun things.

It’s been a blast but enough is enough.

I will have more time to write gibberish on this blog so watch out for much more amateurish, inane drivel.

In the meantime, I will continue to answer silly questions from Sunday Stealing and here are today’s offerings.

1. Are you double jointed?

No thank goodness. I am squeamish about many things and double jointed people are one of those things. I hate it when double jointed people say, “Hey Dave – look what I can do!” before contorting their limbs into unfeasible shapes. The effect is always the same for me and is similar to drinking a pint of brine and then sticking my fingers down my throat.

If you are double jointed, please do me a favour. Demonstrate your amazing contortion skills to people who won’t be hit by a tsunami of nausea when you bend yourself out of shape.

Thank you.

2. Are you ticklish?

I am a little ticklish but I’m not going to tell you where (in case you feel the need to find out whether I am lying). Mrs PM on the other hand is ticklish absolutely everywhere and I sometimes delight into trying to find places where she isn’t ticklish. Sadly, I am usually rewarded with a thump somewhere (deservedly so) and I tend not to do it these days.

3. Cookies, cakes, or donuts?

I like all three but I don’t eat them that much.

In the UK, “cookies” are called biscuits and we have so many varieties around that it is difficult to select my favourites. One of the reasons we don’t buy them is because they wouldn’t last five minutes in our house. We do get them in the office occasionally and they don’t last long there either.

I like most cakes but my favourite is Black Forest Gateau. We had a huge one at Christmas maybe two or three years ago and the day after, I realised (with mock horror) that it had to be eaten in three days. Mrs PM couldn’t eat it because she has a bad reaction to some of the ingredients. I decided to be brave and rid our house of this thing before it expired. It was hard work and a dirty job – but someone had to do it.

Donuts are lovely too but I only eat them at work when somebody is kind enough to bring them in.

4. Did you go to prom?

We didn’t used to have proms in the UK but recently (within the last ten or so years)  these things have started happening here.

Why? I don’t know. It’s yet another element of American culture that we seem to be adopting – like Hallowe’en. It’s probably due to corporations trying to take our money by making us pay for stuff we don’t need.

We could do without it if you want my honest opinion.

Nevertheless, when I was at university we used to go to “balls” and big events involving meals, dancing and alcohol. I think I went to quite a few on occasion as a guest of a lady. They were fun.

5. Do you bite your nails?

No. Biting nails is one of the many things that make my teeth itch. Other things like scraping finger nails down a blackboard or intertwining two forks have the same effect.

6. Do you enjoy dancing?

I used to – and sometimes I still do if the opportunity arises. I’ve danced to all manner of songs in my time but probably the most embarrassing is this one.

I was at a wedding and Mrs PM was demanding that I dance with her. I stalled for a while but then reluctantly I said “I’ll dance to the next one!”

“You promise?” she said.

“Yes.”

“Whatever it is?”

“Yes”

The end of the song was arriving and she grabbed my hand and hauled me up to the dance floor in preparation. This was the song.

All of the men, without exception, left the dance floor and I was left dancing to the song with about thirty women, all of them were singing the lyrics out loud, with some of them singing directly at me, including Mrs PM. When it was all over, I left the dance floor and a lot of people were sniggering, and, yes, one of those people was Mrs PM.

It was difficult to live it down.

7. Do you forgive easily?

I try not to bear grudges. I think it’s unhealthy and helps to nurture resentment. Life is too short for that and the older I get the easier it is.

8. Do you prefer to bathe or shower?

I much prefer a shower. It is quick and refreshing and is an essential contributor to my morning ritual. Also, when we are on holiday and walking in the heat, there is nothing better than returning back to the hotel and cooling off with a cold shower (not too cold but cold enough not to be painful).  

9. Does your name have any special meaning?

My name is Dave (or David if you prefer – I don’t but some Dave’s like it). It comes from Hebrew and means “beloved”. When I was at Catholic junior school we spent a lot of time studying the Bible and the story of David and Goliath was one of my favourites – mainly because he had my name.

10. Have you ever gone camping?

Not really. I camped in a friend’s back garden once, and I didn’t really enjoy it if I’m honest.

11. Have you ever won something?

Yes. I won a disco compilation album when I was 13. I have won a lot of raffles over the years too with prizes ranging from a cake to a fishing kit. I’ve also won a few prizes at school.

More recently, I have won one-off work awards for (apparently) “going above and beyond the call of duty”. I must admit that I don’t like such awards because I think they are unfair.

My biggest claim to fame was that I won the Football Pools and the National Lottery in the same week. The Football Pools involves predicting the scores of several football games and the prize can be in the millions of pounds. Similarly in the National Lottery you can win obscene amounts of cash.

My prizes?

£10 on the National Lottery and £15 on the Football Pools.

That’s all. Obviously I’m in Lady Luck’s little black book of naughty boys!

12. What did you last eat?

I had a chicken salad for lunch.

13. What's your longest relationship so far?

That would be with Mrs PM. We have been together now for almost 26 years. That’s a long time for a woman to put up with me.

14. Have you ever been on a diet?

I’ve tried a couple of times to just remove a few excess pounds. I’m not fat at all but I am a little overweight. I don’t need to lose much to fit into the recommended BMI range. When I was younger I was a skinny little runt and although I did a lot of exercise, I was actually underweight. All that changed when I hit 45 and since then I have discovered that weight doesn’t drop off easily and you simply can’t eat as much food as you did when you were 18.

To be honest, for the past few years, I’ve been trying to eat sensibly and that seems to keep my weight under control. That’s why I tend not to eat cakes, biscuits, chocolate and other food that piles on the pounds. I sometimes fail though, especially on holiday and at Christmas.

15. Do you enjoy DIY or crafts?

Not at all. When it comes to crafts, I have zero creativity. I can barely tie my own shoelaces.

I have some DIY skills though. I can paint, build furniture (from places like IKEA), I can put up shelves and I dabble with electrical stuff like light fittings and things like that. Usually when it comes to DIY I look to see if I can do it and then if I can’t I get a man in. I would never touch things like plumbing or build anything out of brick for example.

I am not this guy.

Do I like DIY?

Absolutely not. I hate it.