Swap Another Bot

Welcome to a rainy South Manchester where autumn weather has finally kicked in, erasing all traces of summer until 2024. I am working from my kitchen today, waiting for the delivery of my new desk and a cupboard for the backroom, which is now almost complete. We have had a couple of weeks of upheaval but we now have a new floor, new sofas and a freshly painted and wallpapered room. 

It looks good and I look forward to moving all my stuff back in over the course of the next week.

Let’s answer some sill questions from Sunday Stealing, shall we? 

1. Write about the best decision you ever made. How did you make it? Was it reasoning or gut instinct?

Probably the best decision I have made is to agree to continue my education and move away from my hometown of Walsall to Liverpool in order to attend university there. At the time, I was really a product of a working class background and people like me didn’t usually go into further education. My mum kind of expected me to leave school and get a job immediately but my dad encouraged me to improve and better myself. It’s a shame he never saw what became of me, though he was still alive when I gained a place at Liverpool University. 

I was the first person in my family to do this, but was followed closely by my youngest sister who also moved away to university five years later. The elder of my two sisters didn’t but eventually a few decades later, left her job to then go to university and completely change her career. 

For me, it was reasoning rather than gut instinct. It was clear that I was good enough to do it and I succeeded and ended up with a great job, a good life and more opportunities that I could throw a stick at. 

I’ve never looked back.

2. What ONE thing would you change about your life? How would your life be different?

I would retire because I am now ready to put my career behind me. The truth of the matter is that this will happen soon anyway (I am an old git) so it’s not really a surprise – it’s just a question of when.

Don’t get me wrong; I have enjoyed my job – I am just fed up of it now. And I think it’s almost time to wave it goodbye.

How would my life be different? I don’t know to be honest. I hope I will have time to pursue the interests that I have and find some new ones. I have a few ideas for new pursuits and I think the good thing about being retired is that I will be able to try things out and see how I feel about them. If I don’t like them I can ditch them with no real consequences. 

I’m looking forward to it. 

3. What is the hardest thing you have ever done? Why was it hard for you? What did you learn?

Moving to Manchester almost 40 years ago was tough. I had finished university and armed with a degree I had to decide what to do and where to go. I think my mum expected me to move back to Walsall but three years away from home changed me so I wasn’t going to go back there. It was hard because I think my mum was disappointed for me to be so far away. 

I got a job in Manchester and decided that it would be a good stepping stone to possibly move down to London. I didn’t really know what I was going to do but as I settled into my new city, I began to love the place and, in the end, despite a couple of temptations, I decided to stay.

I’ve been here ever since and I have absolutely no plans to move away – apart from travelling from time to time of course.

4. What is your greatest hope for your future? What steps can you take to make it happen?

I would love to be fluent in a different language. I am currently fluent in English, American, Canadian and Australian and a few other English dialects dotted around the globe. But it’s not enough. 

I get frustrated going to foreign countries where I can’t understand the language. 

I speak a little French, a fair amount of Spanish, a little German and, after my trip to Sicily, I have started teaching myself Italian. I don’t think I’ll ever be fluent in any of those languages but at least I will be able to express myself, understand what is going on and perhaps have a simple conversation. 

When I retire, I am planning to enrol in a Spanish class in Manchester city centre (there are a couple of places that immerse you in Spanish), so that will be good. I am currently using Duolingo for Spanish and Italian and plan to brush up on my French and German in due course.

5. If you can time travel, what will you tell your teenage self?

I would tell him to remove all doubts about further education and go to university. I would also advise him to take language lessons on the side – and embrace travelling sooner.

6. Write about the most glorious moment in your life so far.

There have been a few.

• Getting a degree in Computational and Statistical Science

• Seeing the birth of my two sons

• Working in Hong Kong for three months (having already been there numerous times before).

• My first four week trip to the US.

• Visiting Australia, China, Thailand, Vietnam and Japan.

• Meeting Mrs PM

Lots of others.

7. Write about a moment you feel brave.

I was stupidly brave the day that I climbed the Sydney Harbour Bridge. I remember asking the lady who I paid for this terrifying experience about how easy it would be for a person who was scared of heights.

“Leave your fear on the ground, mate” she replied in that typical Aussie manner, rolling her eyes.

And I did it – but my arse went as soon as I saw the first ladder. 

What followed was about three hours of pure terror and I cursed myself as I endured it for that first stupid moment when I felt brave enough to do it. 

I don’t regret it at all – it was a wonderful experience and I can add it to my list of achievements.

But I will never, ever, ever, EVER do anything that stupid again.

8.  What made you happy today?

The arrival of my new desk, new office chair and cupboard will make me very happy today (they haven’t arrived yet).

9. What do you dislike most about growing up?

Getting old is irritating for many reasons. My once young body is creaking more as every year passes and while I look young for my age, I know that my brain is 61 years old and that, really, I should be a sensible adult. 

My problem is that I have never been a sensible adult; there is a child in my head that is fighting to be released. I try to release that child as often as I can because that is when I feel happiest – the sweet innocence and stupidity of a child that just wants to play and have fun. 

You have to release your inner child as often as you can – and sometimes people (serious people) frown and look down on you when it happens. 

Once, a grumpy old woman asked me, “How old are you? Forty or fourteen?”. She was frowning at my silly antics with the kids.

“I wish I was fourteen,” I replied. “I’m not – but at least I’m happy!”

I don’t think she liked that answer.

10. Write about ten activities you love the most and why you love them.

(a) Exploring a foreign city (and getting lost). I love travelling to weird and wonderful places and getting to know them.

(b) Listening to music as often as I can. It helps me forget my woes and raises my spririts.

(c) Attempting to write anything, including this post. I may not be a very good writer but I find it cathartic and I love taking trips in the wonderful places in imagination.

(d) My daily walks. I walk at least four miles a day and it gives me time to think about things as well as just observing what is going on.

(e) Reading a good book. Again this is a form of escapism for me and helps me to forget any troubles by getting lost in the story.

(f) Going to live gigs. As you saw above, I love music but seeing some of my favourite artists in the flesh is always a great experience.

(g) Playing the piano. I am still learning this and it is far more difficult than I thought it would be. But I feel a sense of achievement and one day I hope to make music of my own – it’s a long way off but I am slowly, slowly, slowly improving.

(h) Meeting friends in a pub or a restaurant. There is nothing better than a good social occasion, chatting, eating, being silly and enjoying people’s company.

(i) Learning a new language. See my answer to (4). 

(j) Watching TV with Mrs PM and the cats. It is good just relaxing and escaping into a TV series or movie.

11. Do you have an embarrassing moment that still makes you cringe? Write about it in as much detail as you feel comfortable!

Oh dear – there are lots. Okay – this one leaps to mind immediately because it was particularly embarrassing for me. 

I was working in Amsterdam and in the evening, we went to an Ethiopian restaurant because neither of us had tried Ethiopian food before. We were chatting away as the waitresses bought food when I realised that I needed a beer. 

I saw a waitress walking towards me and I raised my hand to call her.

“Excuse me!” I said. 

My colleague said “No – Dave!”

“What’s up with you?” I asked. “I want a drink.”

“Don’t, Dave!” he said.

I ignored him and called out to the waitress again. She seemed to be ignoring me so I shouted louder, loud enough for her to hear me.

My colleague performed a classic facepalm and shook his head. 

I had no idea what was wrong with him, and to be honest, I was a little annoyed because it seemed like he didn’t want me to have a beer. I didn’t understand. 

The waitress came over and said. “What’s the matter?”

“Can I order a beer?” I said, still frowning at my facepalming colleague!

“Oh,” she said. “Do you want me to get a waiter for you?”

“What?” I said, puzzled. 

And then it dawned on me. This was not a waitress. This was a customer who was going to the toilet but who just happened to have a white blouse and black trousers on, similar to the waitresses but really obviously not the same. 

“Oh my God! I’m so sorry,” I said. “I thought you were a waitress.”

Somehow that compounded the issue. She frowned at me and had a slight look of surprise and then turned away and walked back, past her seat to grab a waitress. She pointed to me and the real waitress came over.

I was so embarrassed. The customer walked past me to go to the toilet as my colleague said,

“You absolute muppet!”

I blushed so much that my face was the same colour as the red tablecloth. I had to swallow my pride. When the customer sat down again, I walked up to her table.

”Again I am so, so sorry,” I squawked. “I mistook you for a waitress. I … I … I ….”

“It’s alright,” she smiled as her fellow diners sniggered at my expense.

I relived the moment for about a month as my colleague told the story again and again to my workmates.

12. What has been your best trip so far?

That’s so difficult to answer. 

Japan, the US, Australia, China, Vietnam, Russia, Canada, Brazil and loads of other ones are right up there. It’s too difficult to answer really.

 13. Write a list of 5 things (physical or personality-wise) you love about yourself, and why they make you unique.

That’s difficult because I am a strategically shaved baboon. But here goes …

(a) I’ve been told that my bum is very attractive by Mrs PM and a couple of other women.

(b) I can make people laugh (sometimes without meaning to). That’s always a good thing.

(c) I’m quite a clever guy .

(d) Apparently my eyes are quite nice (even though they are useless for actually seeing things without glasses).

(e) I hate upsetting anybody – even the people I am less keen on. I try to be nice to absolutely everyone – with the possible exception of Boris Johnson and Piers Morgan should I ever be unfortunate enough to meet either of them.

14. Discuss 5 things you wish others knew about you.

(a) Deep down I am shy. If you ever meet me and I seem aloof or I talk too fast, that’s the reason. Give me time to get used to you and I am absolutely fine.

(b) I have a fairly thick skin but sometimes I can be sensitive about things.

(c) I hate arguing. I mean I REALLY hate arguing. Please don’t argue with me.

(d) Sometimes, I just like to be alone. I am really an ambivert but the introvert within can be quite demanding sometimes.

(e) I am kind and helpful – but don’t take the piss.

15. Is social media a blessing or a curse?

At first I loved it but these days I don’t really engage with it that much. I am on Facebook and I have recently connected with two guys from school who I haven’t seen for well over forty years, which is amazing. However, it can be dreadful and it has ruined people’s lives. I can see a time when people start to abandon it in droves. 

The one thing that I simply don’t understand is the concept of an “influencer”. I find it strange and weird and it puzzles me that people will follow a person whose live simply consists of telling you about where they go, what they do and what clothes they wear. It’s just weird (and that is something coming from a weirdo like myself).

Autumn is Here!

Greetings from an unseasonably warm day here in South Manchester. It is my birthday today and I am going to just relax doing nothing apart from writing this blog post and watch some football later. 

My birthday is of course in Autumn and today from Sunday Stealing there are questions about Autumn or, as Americans call it, “Fall”.

I have to say that I don’t mind what Autumn is called by Americans, apart from in one case – and that case is Duolingo. I appreciate that Duolingo is an American company and I love it. It has helped improve my Spanish considerably and I have also dipped into Italian, after my trip to Sicily last week. However, the one criticism I have is that they have Americanised the English on there, which has led to mistakes on my part. 

One of the main culprits is “fall” because I have ended up mistranslating from Spanish to English and vice versa because of the word. And “football” too has tripped me up because in America “football” becomes “soccer”. 

It’s a minor complaint but I won’t rant about it; I am fluent in American and when I use Duolingo, I have to switch to becoming an American to minimise mistakes. 

It works.

Anyway, let’s answer the questions (for which I shall substitute “fall” for “autumn” for the benefit of any British readers who might stumble across the post). 

1. Are there any autumn-specific hobbies or crafts you enjoy pursuing?

Not really. For me, autumn is similar to summer in that it is pleasant outside usually (apart from the end of the season). I still walk every day if I can but the mornings are darker and I have to wear a slightly beefier coat. Otherwise I treat autumn just like the summer.

2. Do you have any favourite autumn-inspired recipes you like to cook or bake?

Not really. We tend to eat more casseroles and soups as the weather gets colder but that’s about it. 

3. Are you a fan of Hallowe’en? If so, what's been your favourite costume?

Absolutely not. 

I am glad that I don’t live in America when Hallowe’en comes along. We seem to be adopting it here more and more and usually there are a few kids knocking at the door asking for treats. We either stay in and ignore the door, or go out. 

I sound like the Hallowe'en version of Scrooge, don't I?

That said, I love the origins of Hallowe’en and the fact that you are meant to ward of evil spirits. Usually on Hallowe’en, the TV shows scary movies and programmes and I try to watch a couple of them. I love a bit of horror.

4.  Do you have any childhood memories related to the autumn season?

My dad was a keen gardener. He used to grow lots of vegetables, so many in fact that he used to end up giving a lot of it away. We used to live next to the entrance of a park, and next to the long garden we had was a dead end road where people used to park to use the park itself. There were lots of trees around and so the road was full of leaves from the trees as autumn progressed. My dad used to hand us huge bags and get us to collect the leaves so that he could use them to turn into compost for his garden. I had no idea whether this worked but he seemed to think so.

Of course, autumn also meant a return to school and a new year with new challenges. It was a mixture of excitement at being a year higher but also more challenging in terms of the subject matter becoming more difficult.

5.  What kind of outdoor activities do you enjoy during the autumn months?

Autumn marks the start of the football season (that’s the “soccer” season if you are American). It is also the start of the rugby season too. As a child, I would play football in the local park and be forced to play rugby at school.

As an adult, things haven’t changed so much by the time autumn comes. I tend to go out for walks in both summer and autumn but spend slightly less time outdoors than I do in summer. The activities are the same until it starts to get too cold.

6. Do you look forward to 'sweata weatha'? What is your favourite go-to outfit for autumn?

By “sweata weatha” I assume you mean wearing sweaters and pullovers. I do start to wear them in autumn, more so towards the end of the season. But really, I don’t really “look forward” to it; I just wear them when I am cold.

7. Are you a fan of pumpkin or apple flavoured treats or beverages?

I don’t really eat pumpkin to be honest. But I am a fan of apples and apple flavoured treats and beverages – with the exception of cider, which has a tendency to upset my stomach. I usually eat two apples a day (Granny Smith’s) and I drink apple juice too.

8. Which autumn scents do you find most appealing?

I like autumn and the local park here where I live has a nice musty autumn smell as the leaves fall from the trees. Apart from that, I don’t really notice the scent apart from the loss of newly cut grass and summer flowers, which is a shame.

9. Do you like to visit apple orchards or pumpkin patches or corn mazes?

It’s not something I have ever done, if I’m honest.

10. Have you ever participated in or attended an autumn festival or harvest fair?

I have been to a few shows in local National Trust historic estates like Tatton Park and Dunham Massey but it’s not something I do that often.

11. What's your favourite thing about autumn?

I like the fact that the trees change colour and when I walk or drive down a tree-lined avenue, it looks very pretty. The weather is usually still quite pleasant at the start of the season too so walking is very comfortable.

12. Are you more of a cider or hot chocolate person when it comes to autumn beverages?

Hot chocolate because as I said above, cider can upset my stomach.

13. What's your ideal way to spend a crisp autumn evening?

Go for a walk. Walking is best when there is a slight chill in the air because I walk quite quickly and work up a little bit of a sweat. 

14. Do you like to dress up for Halloween? What's your favourite costume or what costume do you plan for this year? Do you like to make your own costume?

No plans to dress up for Hallowe’en for the reasons I gave above. Actually, if the truth be known, I could walk around as normal and scare a lot of people.

15. Are you a football fan? What's your favourite team?

Yes I am a football fan (again that’s “soccer” for Americans). My favourite team is my hometown team – Walsall. They are terrible and are currently floundering in the fourth tier of the English football league. This season seems to have started like the previous ones. Yesterday we lost 4-0. You would have thought that they could have made an effort for my birthday. Sadly it wasn’t to be.

I will switch briefly to American mode now.

No – I am not a football fan. I find American Football a little hard to follow though I do know what a quarterback is. To me, it just seems like a crazy game where a load of men dressed in helmets and padding try to beat each other up. There are similarities between rugby and American football but only in the shape of the ball. For example, in rugby, the ball can only be passed backwards but in American Football it seems that this quarterback fellow can launch the ball forward for his colleagues to catch. 

I have watched part of one Super Bowl game but to be honest, I didn’t have a clue what was going on so I switched it off to go to bed (it was on really late in the UK).

That said, when it comes to American sports, I prefer baseball. At least I understand the game more.  

Swap That Bot!

Welcome to South Manchester on a slightly cloudy but sunny day, with the threat of a couple of showers later. I’m just squeezing in a post today before my holiday to Sicily. We are flying tomorrow morning (Sunday) to say hello to Mount Etna, one of the tallest active volcanoes in Europe. I’ll try to keep it calm during my visit.

I have to pack later today before watching England play Chile in the Rugby World Cup. Let’s get right to it, shall we?

The silly questions are courtesy of Sunday Stealing. 

 1. What you did you do today?

While we are away in Sicily, we are having some work done on the house. We have a builder coming in, a guy we have used many times in our 21 year occupation of our house. He can do anything; he’s a builder, plasterer, carpenter, plumber, decorator and all round genius at what he does. He will be sorting out a few things for us and then painting and hanging up wallpaper. In preparation for his numerous visits next week, we have had to take up our old carpet and clear the room of all furniture, most of which is being replaced anyway. My desk is gone and I have temporarily relocated to the kitchen, where I am now typing this while listening to Deep Purple. 

I have spent the morning, pulling up and rolling carpet and underlay, something I also did yesterday as well as dismantling and removing old furniture.

I am quite tired but raring to go on holiday. 

After writing and publishing this post, I shall start packing, have a practice on the piano and then watch the rugby before relaxing for the rest of the evening.

 2.  What are the must-sees in your area?

I live in Manchester and there is a lot to see and do. Next year sees the 40th anniversary of my move to the city and I love the place. 

We have lots of museums including the Science and Industry museum, the Imperial War museum, the National Football museum and lots of art galleries if that’s your kind of thing. 

We have two Premier League football clubs each with a huge stadium. Manchester United are arguably one of the most famous football clubs in Europe, if not the world but now we have Manchester City battling for that title. The rivalry is intense – I don’t support either but I have been to both stadiums numerous times.  

Manchester is historically a leader when it comes to music and we have lots of music venues around the city, from tiny venues to theatres and a huge arena. Also the sports stadia are used for concerts. All this means that the city is a magnet for some of the world’s most famous bands. I have seen loads of them over the years. My next huge one is the Foo Fighters next year although I have a couple of others lined up before that. 

We also are the home of Lancashire Cricket Club and we have international cricket matches every year. 

Basically, whatever you like or love, you can see it in Manchester, be it theatres, sport, music, history, museums or good food and drink.

I don’t work for Manchester Tourism – honestly.

 3. What is your favourite quote?

Here’s one of them from Winston Churchill. A woman accused him of being “disgustingly drunk”. His reply was:

“My dear, you are ugly, and what's more, you are disgustingly ugly. But tomorrow I shall be sober and you will still be disgustingly ugly."

4. What was the last thing you cooked or ate? 

I cooked an omelette this morning for breakfast and then I ate it.

 5. What is something you learned from your grandparents?

I used to sit with my mum’s dad who used to live next door and spend hours poring through his vast collection of books. He used to patiently explain things to me and answer all of my most stupid questions. 

One Christmas he bought me a book called “Answers to the most difficult questions”, which satisfied my young inquisitive mind. It was geared towards young children and had questions like “Why is the sky blue?” and “What is the biggest number?”. 

I loved it. I wonder what happened to it?

 6. What makes you happy?

Going on holiday to a place that I have never been before. I’ve been to Italy but never Sicily. You can imagine how happy I feel at the moment with the prospect of going there tomorrow.

 7. What is your best travel memory?

I’ve got too many to list here. Visiting the Kremlin in Moscow, living in Hong Kong for three months, spending three days in Rio de Janeiro, New Year’s Eve in New York City, the hills of San Francisco, climbing the Sydney Harbour Bridge (though it almost scared me to death), walking along the Great Wall of China, visiting Japan, going into the Cu Chi Tunnels in Vietnam, Wandering around Chiang Mai in Thailand, having a coffee in a café in Paris, visiting the colosseum in Rome and many more. 

Those are just off the top of my head.

 8. What’s the weather like today?

I usually introduce my posts with the weather. Since I started writing it has become more cloudy and it looks like it may rain. It doesn’t matter – we’re not going anywhere today. We’re too busy.

 9. Share an interesting fact that you’ve learned

The current king, King Charles III (or Charlie-boy as I prefer to call him) is the oldest monarch to ascend to the throne in the UK. His mother Queen Elizabeth II, was the longest reigning monarch in the UK at 70 years.

 10. What is your favourite book, movie or band!

Favourite book? I don’t have one. I have lots of books that I love.

Favourite Movie? Too many to mention but I love the last two part Avengers movies - Avengers: Infinity War and Avengers: Endgame.

Favourite band? It is probably Riverside at the moment (as Rush are no more).

 11.  Write your favourite poem or haiku?

I don’t have one, but I used to be able to recite the Jabberwocky by Lewis Carroll so I will say that one.

 12. What is a local festival or tradition from your area?

Chinese New Year is always a lot of fun in Manchester. We have a fairly big Chinatown in the city and when New Year arrives, the city is taken over with parades, dragons and lots of people eating Chinese street food.

 13. What was the best thing you learned in school?

I learned a lot of interesting stuff in Physics and Chemistry but one of my favourites was about the Doppler effect. We even learned the equation to work out the frequency of the sound waves.

If you are unfamiliar with the Doppler effect, here it is:

Pinterest Part Five

Welcome to a cloudy but rain free South Manchester. The heat of last week has almost gone but there is still a little left to make it a reasonably pleasant day. Sadly, the garden furniture will have to be put away later today in preparation for more autumnal weather as we descend inexorably towards my least favourite season, winter. 

I’m not too bothered really; I get a final taste of summer next week in Sicily.

Shall we answer some silly questions from Sunday Stealing? 

1. What is your favourite book?

I don’t really have a favourite book, if I’m honest. There are several novels that I have really enjoyed (and that I have mentioned previously on this blog) but there isn’t one that sticks out as my number one.

Maybe when I have written my own novel, I will elevate that to be my favourite book.

2. Are you afraid of the dark?

I used to be afraid of the dark as a kid, but only when I had watched a horror film or read a horror story. It was a transient thing and the longest I had the fear was when I saw The Exorcist – which made me sleep with a small light on for two or three days. I was 19 years old at the time too – what an idiot I was.

More recently I watched two films that reminded me of that feeling. The first was Paranormal Activity which really spooked me – but I was fine when I went to bed. The second was a Spanish horror movie called REC, which I watched alone in the house on a Saturday night at 9pm in winter (Mrs PM was away visiting her mum) with all the lights out - to try to get into the atmosphere of the film. That did make me a little spooked as you might expect so I switched the light on when it had finished. Thankfully I was fine. 

3. Are you mean?

Ah – is this “mean” as in unpleasant or “mean” as in tight-fisted? I’ll answer both.

Mean (unpleasant) – I like to think that I am the opposite of mean. I hate it when I upset people, even people that I am not particularly fond of. I am not a “people pleaser” per se, as I will stand my ground even if it pisses people off. And I love to make people smile or laugh. It makes me feel good when that happens.

Mean (tight-fisted) – Definitely not. I have found that some people who are quite wealthy are quite miserly, their mantra being “there’s a reason why I am wealthy – I don’t spend my money!”. The way I see it, certainly at my age, you can’t take it with you when you shuffle off this mortal coil, so why not enjoy it? That doesn’t mean that I will just blow it all like a lunatic without thinking of Mrs or the kids. Nevertheless I am not going to let it sit in a bank when I can spend it on travelling and other fun things. And I will always be one of the first at the bar when I go to the pub, rather than sitting back (like some people I have known).

4. Is cheating ever OK?

Not really. I think if you cheat in an exam, you are fooling and hurting yourself because ultimately it will come back and bite you on the arse.

5. Can you keep white shoes white?

I don’t wear white shoes these days because you can't keep them white. Back in the 1980’s and 1990’s it was quite fashionable to have white trainers (sneakers if you are American) and it was a bugger to keep them clean. I had to buy a white polish of sorts and paint them every so often to try to remove black scuff marks. And it didn’t work. I once had a trendy pair of white shoes in the 1980’s and they were even worse to keep clean, which meant that I only wore them on special occasions. I’m happy with other colours these days.

6. Are you currently bored?

On the contrary. I am very busy at the moment and I don’t have time to be bored. I am very busy at work. We are having the back room, hall and stairs decorated and in preparation I am going through my stuff and trying to be ruthless with it. I am not a hoarder but I do have hoarding tendencies and it is quite difficult. We have had the loft boarded up and made accessible as a storage space so I have been up and down there in recent works, storing my stuff in storage boxes. I have almost finished and it has been fun and cathartic. Mrs PM is happy because there is less clutter in the house and she hasn’t crossed the line telling me what I have to get rid of. In fact, it turns out that she has hoarding tendencies too. “I’m not throwing that away,” she says. “It’s sentimental!” – “Exactly,” I reply. 

I am therefore keeping most of my junk – which isn’t really junk – just sentimental stuff. 

Sorry for the tangent but there is a lot of other stuff to do too – so I am definitely not bored at all. 

7. Would you change your name?

Definitely not. I love the name, Dave. My middle name is George and I used to hate it. Bizarrely I have come to like it in the past few years. My dad’s name was George so it is a kind of reminder of him.

8. Do you like the subway?

I love the subway. 

You get to see a lot of interesting people and it can be fun to just watch them going about their daily business. If I lived in London I would travel everywhere on the Tube.

In London, people tend not to talk to other people. I don’t really know why. This means that when you are travelling alone on the Tube you just see people staring into space or just reading their phones or books.

 In Manchester we have a light railway system called Metrolink and strangers sometimes do speak to each other. 

If you can read the Metrolink map, you will some great Mancunian place names that still make me chuckle, like Crumpsall and Besses o’ th’ Barn. 

9. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?

It was probably Mrs PM and it was probably about the house. 

10. Dumbest lie you’ve ever told?

I tell jokey lies all the time to try to make people laugh. I don’t recall any absolute whoppers or even any stupid ones. Ah – perhaps in my early days as a Roman Catholic. Let me explain.

When you are a Catholic you are supposed to go to church regularly and confess your sins to the priest. I remember when I was forced to do this by peer pressure (mostly from my mum), I would sit and wait for the priest to call me in. 

And then I would lies through my teeth to the man.

“Bless me father for I have sinned. It’s been two weeks since my last confession.” – LIE – it had been at least a month.

“I have broken my sister’s doll.” – LIE – I couldn’t think of anything naughty that I had done.

“I have told lies.” – TRUTH – I’ve been lying since I have been in this confessional box. I always used to make that the last confession because I figured that if I confessed to telling lies then the priest could absolve me of the lies I told when I entered the confessional box.

He would them tell me that as a penance I would have to say the Hail Mary ten times and the Our Father ten times. I would say each one once and then go home – and I would never confess the fact that I had not said my penance last time I was there. 

What a naughty boy I was. And so was comedian Dave Allen.

I dread to think how long I would be in the confessional box were I to go now.

11. Do you sleep with your door open or closed?

We close the door to stop the cats from waking us up at three o’clock in the morning.

12. Favourite month?

Probably June because it means summer is here and we usually go abroad during that month.

13. Dark, milk, or white chocolate?

Definitely dark chocolate. White chocolate is an unnatural abomination that should not exist.

14. Tea or coffee?

Definitely tea. I do like coffee though and I drink it once or twice a week on average. Usually when I go abroad I choose coffee because tea in any place apart from the UK and Australia is like dishwater.

15. Night or day?

Both. I would love to be able to stay awake 24 hours a day but sadly I can’t. 

Magical (?)

Welcome to an unseasonably warm South Manchester. After a disappointing rain-filled July and a similar August, the first week of September has proved to be very warm and sunny. Today I went for my daily walk and I was very hot when I got back. I was quite sweaty (but I guess none of you needed to or indeed wanted to know that).

As I look out of the window, I can see my two cats basking in the sunshine, something they haven’t been able to do for weeks. Enjoy it while you can, I say to them, because soon Autumn will kick in and we will decline gradually towards winter.

Mrs PM and I get a respite soon though because two weeks tomorrow we will be jetting off to Sicily for a week. We will be staying fairly close to Mount Etna, a volcano that is still active and has had a few minor eruptions this year (apparently it happens all the time). I shall be sending soothing thoughts to the volcano for the next fourteen days to calm it down. 

I’ve stayed near an Italian volcano before; a few years ago we went to Sorrento and we could see Vesuvius across the Bay of Naples. We also visited Pompeii where you can see first-hand how catastrophic a volcanic eruption can be. 

I’m scared of heights but I’m not scared of an active volcano. That’s how weird I am.

Anyway, enough of this bunkum. Let’s answer some silly questions from Sunday Stealing. 

1. What’s the best beach or lake day you can remember?

I’ve had a few good ones. We went to visit some friends in Richmond near London and had a wonderful picnic on the banks of the River Thames on a very sunny and pleasant Saturday afternoon. That was good.

As an eighteen year old, myself and three mates went for a weekend in Wales, staying in a remote cottage owned by the parents of one of the lads. It was about a mile from Lake Bala and we spent the whole day on the shore, venturing out onto the lake in a rowing boat that was just big enough to accommodate us all. 

I have been to so many beaches that I can’t select any one of them to stand out more than the others.

2. Describe your ideal picnic lunch

I am happy with a few nibbles, a couple of sandwiches and a either a chilled white wine or a lovely red. If there’s beer, it’s a bonus.

3. What flowers are in your bouquet?

I have no preference when it comes to flowers at all – so take you pick.

4. Silly ways to pass the time during a snowstorm

Well being out in the snowstorm is probably the silliest thing to do in a snowstorm. 

I know – I have been in several. I used to love snow as a kid but now I hate it. I remember one school day in Walsall when we had an absolutely horrendous snowstorm. It was so bad that the roads very quickly became unusable and the school was forced to close. I had to walk home – a distance of about two miles – in a blizzard that was so bad I could barely see where I was going. Worse, the snow made my glasses unusable so I had to take them off and find my way with Mr Magoo style vision. Thankfully there were no cars because the roads were impassable and I was with a couple of mates who helped guide me to my front door. I have never been so happy to sit in front of a warm fire. 

5. The most beautiful house you’ve ever visited.

There are quite a few stately homes in the United Kingdom as you can imagine and some of them are huge and amazing. It would have to be one of those I guess.

6. Best place you ever dined.

When Mrs PM and I spent three months working in Hong Kong, she persuaded me to go for an early meal at the Felix Restaurant in the Peninsular Hotel. This hotel is the most expensive in Hong Kong and has some suites that have their own butler and cost an eye-watering amount of money to spend just one night. The hotel has a fleet of Rolls Royces and only the so-called elite and super rich stay there. I was a little reluctant because company expenses wouldn’t stretch to that amount. The good news was that the early evening menu and it was a bit cheaper – but it was still expensive to me. 

The views of the city were amazing:

The food was excellent I have to say but I am sorry, that I have to lower the tone a little. Yes, I am going to talk about the toilets. They were impressive and from the urinal I could see Kowloon and it looked like I was relieving myself from the roof. Here’s what I mean:

7. How many layers to your ice cream sandwich

I’m happy with just one – maybe two if I am feeling greedy.

8. Pretty things which are faux patent leather

I imagine that you are talking about fake leather clothes and shoes. 

I have to say that I wouldn’t wear anything leather myself apart from a jacket or shoes. I have to say that I do like leather boots, jackets and skirts on ladies, especially the kind that they wear to rock gigs. I don’t care whether it is real leather or fake, if I’m honest.

9. What is the best way to eat chocolate.

Via your mouth. 

That’s obvious, isn’t it?

10. Describe your unicorn’s special magic

I wouldn’t own a horse so why would I own one that had a horn? 

Unicorns do not exist and there is no such thing as magic. Harry Potter is a fictional character. 

I did see a ludicrous question once on a philosophy exam at university. It was this:

“There is a planet that is identical to Earth but populated only by unicorns. Discuss.”

I would LOVE to answer that question.

11. All the fruits in your fruit salad

A selection from these:

Apple, grapefruit, orange, pineapple, kiwi fruit, peach, plum, grapes, melon, mango. 

I know that some of those don’t go, which is why I suggested a selection.

12. Describe the soil, grass, trees, flowers and rocks in your magical forest.

Magic doesn’t exist. The logical progression to this fact is that magical forests do not exist either. 

13. The lyrics which move you the most are:

When we die, do we haunt the sky?

Do we lurk in the murk of the seas?

What then? Are we born again?

Just to sit asking questions like these?

I know, for I told me so

And I'm sure each of you quite agrees

The more it stays the same, the less it changes

And that's the Majesty of Rock

The Mystery of Roll

The darning of the sock

The scoring of the goal

The farmer takes a wife

The barber takes a pole

We're in this together... and ever

14. What are the best sauces in the world?

I like HP Sauce on a full English Breakfast but I wouldn’t have it with anything else.

To be honest, I like most sauces so it’s a tough one to select.

15. Write a haiku about nature 

I have never written a haiku in my life so this is a first. 

Be kind to me.

Earth is beautiful

Nature makes that possible

Please don’t ruin it

Storywatch

Welcome to a sunny South Manchester where we find ourselves at the end of a summer where it rained a lot in July and August, yet now as September begins, we have high temperatures all week and not a hint of rain.

It’s been a busy couple of weeks and two weeks ago we were in London to see Abba Voyage, where avatars of the band performed their greatest hits. I have to say it was pretty spectacular and, being an Abba fan all those years ago, it took me back in time to the 1970s and 1980s. 

Here’s a taster of what it was like:

There were loads of people dressed up in glitter and 1970’s gear and it was very entertaining. The gig  was expensive though but I think it was worth it. We took the opportunity to see some friends too and have a big walk around the city, from Kensington to Hyde Park via Portobello Road market and Notting Hill.

It seems that every time I go to London, I do something different – and I have been loads of times. It’s an amazing city – but you need lots of time to explore it. I’ve had years and I still don’t know it that well.

Anyway, enough of that. Shall we answer some silly questions from Sunday Stealing? 

1. Did you ever have a commercial you really liked?

I don’t watch adverts these days but in the past there have been some great ones. First, I am a huge fan of Mr T and so I found this one particularly good:

This is also a good old classic that I like:

And finally, this one – a skit of a more famous advert:

2. How did you learn to ride a bicycle?

With some difficulty. I fell off a couple of times but I got the hang of it eventually. To be honest I have never been a fan of bikes because I always feel quite vulnerable when sharing the road with other bigger vehicles. It’s not good when a double decker bus overtakes you slowly on a main road. 

I have now actually sold my bike because it was just gathering dust. I probably won’t cycle ever again. 

3.How did you celebrate your 21st birthday?

I was at university and I didn’t really want to do anything big so I just invited a couple of friends over to the digs I was staying in at the time. Sadly, one of the other guys I lived with took it upon himself to invite a load of people that I didn’t know and so after about an hour I started getting bored in my own party. We lived close to Liverpool city centre so I decided to abandon my own party with five of my closest mates and go to local student dive that we often frequented, where we could have more fun and dance to music. In the end, we left that place and returned home in the early hours to find the party had dissolved – so we resurrected it again with just the six of us. I can’t recall much else about the party other than there is a picture of me drinking vodka out of a kettle spout. 

It was a good night – I think.

4. What fascinated you as a child?

I was fascinated by dinosaurs, space travel and aliens. To be fair, nothing much has changed in that regard.

5. What was one of your favourite playground games?

We used to play a game called British Bulldog and I think eventually it was banned at our school because it was deemed too dangerous. 

Basically, one kid is selected to stand in the middle of the playground while all the other kids lined up at one side. The kids then have to run to the other side of the playground and the kid in the middle has to stop somebody from getting across using whatever means necessary. That kid’s victim then joins the kid in the middle and the game is repeated until eventually there are more kids in the middle than there are at the side. The winner is the last person to successfully make it other side without being caught. 

The reason it was banned was because we used to play on a concrete playground and kids got injured when they were rugby tackled to the ground. There were always a few cuts and bruises when the game took place.

There was a variant in the swimming pool called Sharks. The principle was the same except the kid in the middle of the pool had to try to dunk kids as they swam to the other side of the pool. I preferred the pool version, although it wasn’t pleasant if you weren’t a strong swimmer.

6. What things matter most to you in life?

I’m quite content at the moment and all of the things that make me happy are the things that matter most, such as friends, family and fun. Current hobbies also matter like, reading, writing, listening to music, trying to teach myself various things like the piano and Spanish. Oh, and life wouldn’t be complete without Ziggy and Star(dust), my two bosses.

7. If you had to go back in time and start a brand new career, what would it be?

I would probably have tried to have a career in writing. I think at the time I could easily have chosen subjects that allowed that happen so rather than pursuing the maths or science based career that I am on now, I would have followed a path that led to a university course on writing or journalism or something like that. I would still be interested in science though so writing about science may have been a way of satisfying the scientist within.

8. What do people get wrong about you?

People think that I am younger than I actually am, which is a good thing. 

Also, some people think that I am a rampant extrovert because I can allow that version of myself to surface from time to time. Deep down, though, I am more introverted and shy and I like my own company. 

9. Do you believe that people can change? Why or why not?

Yes. This relates to the last question really. As I said, I am quite shy but over the years I have forced myself to combat that particular characteristic. For example, I can pluck up the courage to talk to random people when the need arises, something that I really used to struggle with in my youth. 

I think the turning point came at university when I was just surrounded by people that I didn’t know. When I arrived, I sat alone in my room on that Sunday when I could hear lots of people meeting and greeting each other in the distance. Somehow I found the courage to just go out and start talking to random people even though every fibre of my being screamed at me to go back to my room. 

I won that battle and decided to wage a war on shyness. I still haven’t won the war, but the enemy is fast retreating now. I may win by the time I’m eighty years old.

10. What is some of the best advice your mother ever gave you?

My mum basically taught me how to cook and fend for myself before I left home for university. I used to help her doing household chores, including cooking, and although I hated it, she told me that I would one day need to have these skills. She was, of course, right and I hit the ground running when I left home, thanks to her.

11. If you could see into the future, what would you want to find out?

I would want to know what new technology exists. I am a huge technophile and I love the gizmos and gadgets that have come into existence over the course of my life. When I compare the technology that existed in the late 1960’s and early 1970’s with that of today, progress has been incredible and I would love to see what exists in another 50, 100, 150 or 200 years. That is what I would use a time machine for. 

Come on Dr Who – pay me a visit.

12. How has your life turned out differently than you imagined it would?

Not really. I always thought I was clever enough to have a decent career and that I would be probably be quite comfortable as I got older. And that is kind of what has happened. 

13. What is the longest project you have ever worked on?

I worked on a project at work from its inception to completion and beyond (supporting it). The project  lasted about six or seven years and took me to Hong Kong. When I retire, I will tell you all about it. 

14. What have been some of your favourite restaurants through the years?

There was a great restaurant in Hong Kong called Café Deco that was situated on Victoria Peak in Hong Kong with a stunning view of the skyline from above. Sadly it is now closed which is a real shame, as we always tried to eat there on visits.

There is a great local Nepalese restaurant within a ten minute walk that we both love. 

In Manchester city centre there is a great Chinese restaurant called the Yang Sing, which has an equally good sister restaurant called the Little Yang Sing.

There are a couple of local Italian places that are pretty good too.

15. What is one of the best shows you've ever been to?

The Abba Voyage show I mentioned at that start of this post is right up there. It was weird because we were watching Abba as they were.

I go to a lot of shows and gigs and some of the highlights include:

Rammstein – the mad German Industrial Metal band that have brilliant pyrotechnics and special effects. Like these one:

I also love bands like Nine Inch Nails when they are live:

I saw a great gig earlier this year – Porcupine Tree at Castlefield Bowl in Manchester. It’s a weird place because it’s open air and cradled in the Castlefield area of the city but with trains constantly passing at the side. The last song of the gig was ironically called Trains. Here’s what happened.

You can probably see me somewhere if you look closely (I haven’t found myself yet it has to be said). 

And Rush – of course – my favourite band:

There are simply too many amazing shows and artists out there to mention in such a short post – but I hope you have some idea.

 

Pens and Pals

Welcome to a strange South Manchester where we are gripped and enthralled by a strange phenomenon. I can see it now – a bizarre bright orange thing in the sky radiating warmth upon us. This is good because I am going to watch cricket today and the forecast is not rain – not one drop.

I may even scare the other cricket spectators by wearing shorts. 

In the meantime, let’s answer some silly questions from Sunday Stealing (even though it is in fact Friday). 

1. Things I would do first if I won a billion dollar lottery

The first thing I would do is organise a round the world trip, first class with the best hotels. I would make notes about my experiences with the aim of writing a massive travelogue. 

Then I would return to Manchester and buy a house or two in Spain, Italy and France.

I would of course make sure friends and family were comfortable and give some money away to charities and worthy causes.

And then I would plan another round the world trip …

2. Something I probably spend too much money on

Holidays I would say. 

During my normal mundane existence, I don’t spend that much money. Of course, I pay bills, buy food, buy clothes etc. but huge purchases are rare. 

Having said that and as I have mentioned before, we are having some work done on the house in the next two months, this involves fixing flooring, new carpets, painting, new desk, new sofas and other bits and bobs and that will cost some money.

But with the prospect of a trip to Malaysia next year as well as a holiday to Italy this year and perhap more, it is definitely holidays.

3. How I feel about the dentist

It is a necessary evil. I am not the biggest fan of the dentist but I go every six months for a visit to the dental hygienist and the dentist himself to make sure that my teeth are not going to all fall out. It is never a pleasant experience but it doesn’t scare me like it scares some people.

Here is a post I have written on the subject.

Fear (Part Four – The Dentist) 

4. Foods I am most picky about

I am slightly picky about bananas. They have to be perfect without even one blemish and also they are better if there is a slight amount of green on them. Anything else and I will not eat them. I was horrified by a guy I used to work with who would leave them until they were brown before eating them. YEEEUUUCCCHHHH!!!!

I am a little picky about certain vegetables too. I have to be in the mood to eat courgettes (zucchini in American) and I will only eat sweet potato if it is fried like chips. I only eat parsnips at Christmas and even then I am not too keen on them.

Cheese I love but I am not keen on any that contain blue veins – like stilton. Yet, bizarrely, I love blue cheese sauce.

Go figure.

5. Internet friends / penpals I want to visit in person

Every single one of you. 

I have met two readers of my blog and they are as great in person as they are in blogland. 

So beware – if I am visiting your country or city, I will be on the lookout for all of you.

6. My healthiest habits

I walk every morning, usually a distance of about four miles. My current average number of steps for this year so far is 8843 (4.36 miles per day) which, if I maintain it, will mean I have walked almost 1600 miles this year. What a geek I am.

On schooldays, I eat very healthily. I have fruit for breakfast and a salad for lunch. 

If I have the choice of walking I will usually do so rather than going in the car. I will always try to use the stairs instead of a lift. 

I have been tempted to start running again (I haven’t done so for years) and my next door neighbour thinks perhaps I should. But at the age of 60 I think I prefer just to walk. I have run in the past and I know that it can put a strain on knee-joints and hips. I'm happy to walk.

7. Easiest, low effort foods and snacks for busy days

I have a problem. If there are crisps, cakes or anything unhealthy in the house then I will be drawn to them like the proverbial moth to the flame. Mrs PM is the same and that’s why we try not to buy such things apart from for special treats or occasions.

What we do buy, snack wise, is fried fruit and nuts (usually flame raisins and almonds) and we both love cheese so cheese and biscuits is something we have fairly often. 

For busy days, a sandwich (or “butty” as we call them in Manchester) is a good low effort snack that we probably have most of all.

8. Where I go in summer to unwind

Abroad. As regular readers will know, I love travelling and try to go abroad as often as time, work leave and money will allow. 

That said, I also like to travel in the UK too. Next week, for example, we are travelling to London primarily to see the recent Abba concert but also to meet an old friend who lives there and do some sight-seeing if we have time. 

Also, watching cricket is a good way to relax and that is exactly what I am doing today.

9. My comfort books, tv shows, and movies

Comfort books? Whatever novel I am currently reading. I have just finished a trilogy of horror stories, something I have read less and less over the years. It is a genre I have missed and I will have to explore the subject again. And yes, I realise, dear reader, that finding comfort in reading stories designed to scare people to death does sound weird. But if you haven’t already noticed, I am a weird person.

Comfort TV shows? It has to be a bit of comedy. I love a stand up show or a funny comedy show, particularly an old one. For example, we are currently watching reruns of Frasier, one of my favourite US sitcoms, but I will also watch things like Blackadder, Red Dwarf, Bottom or other decent British comedies that make me laugh.

Comfort Movies? Anything where I can turn my brain off and enjoy them. I love action movies like the Mission Impossible series, any super hero movie, a decent science fiction movie or, as I hinted above, a great comedy film.

10. A list of good things

Mrs PM, music, football, anything that makes me laugh, friends, family, beer, travel, a good book, a sunrise or a sunset over a calm sea, a weird looking sky, my cats, pubs, sleep, a nice cuppa, a lovely meal, a walk in the countryside, a walk through a strange new city, a walk on the beach, writing this blog, reading anything, a strong breeze on a sunny day, a good wine, a sunny summer day in England, people who think they are boring but are in fact the exact opposite, a rock concert, Manchester, writing generally, Walsall winning a game and so on.

There are far too many good things to list on a blog like this.

11. Favourite places to take photos

I love taking photos of sunsets and sunrises even in places like Manchester where (as I hinted above) sometimes the sun hides behind clouds. Here is a Manchester sunrise taken earlier this year at about 6:30 am.

And here is a sunset in Tenerife taken in February this year:

12. The routines and habits I stick to most

I have a set of what I call “daily duties” which I try to perform every single day:

Read something – anything. I tend to split my time between a novel and a book that is out of my comfort zone (usually non-fiction).

Write something - anything. I have a junk journal in which I write every day and is usually in the form of freewriting, which is basically just writing anything, whether it be brilliant (which it isn’t) or most likely just inane thoughts and bullshit. Either way it works for me. But I will never let anyone read it because it is absolutely rubbish.

Learn Spanish. I have been trying to teach myself Spanish for a few years now and I try to practice every single day. It has helped and I feel comfortable trying to communicate my needs in Spanish speaking countries.

Play piano. Playing piano is difficult – very difficult – but if somebody asked my to play a little tune – I can actually do it – as long as I have played the tune before and vaguely got it right. I am playing very simple tunes from a teach yourself book. I can play this believe it or not (this isn't me by the way):

13. Topics I’d love to learn more about

I would love to learn more about playing a keyboard instrument (as I said above). My aim is too eventually buy a synthesiser and explore the weird and wonderful realms of electronic music. I think it will be a good retirement hobby.

I am also a science geek and I am fascinated by anything to do with the universe, planets, the big bang etc. Another potential topic for study when I retire.

There are many more.

14. This time last year ...

I went for a meal with my eldest son and his girlfriend and was looking forward to a cricket match at the weekend. 

15. Favourite memories of someone I’ve lost

I lost my sister two years ago. She was two years younger than me and was taken so suddenly. 

She was clever and witty and brutally honest with me. If I were doing something daft or stupid she would be the one to tell me in no uncertain terms that I was an idiot. She lived in Walsall but we would talk for hours on the phone, trying to sort out the world’s problems. I am certain that if she and I had taken over the world together as joint rulers, planet Earth would be in a much better state. 

And she loved to tell stories about me in front of people; as a world leader I would have been at her mercy.

I miss her.