Goodbye 2016

I normally look back with at least some fondness on years as they go by but this year is an exception.

I won’t be sad to add 2016 to the annals of history. It’s not been all bad but certain things have happened that could affect our lives in the next few years.

As usual I will complete my annual goodbye meme and maybe all will become clear (though I am sure you can guess what I am talking about).

This could be a long one – so here goes – dive in with me:

1.What did you do in 2016 that you’d never done before?

I went to a Burns night celebration in January and found myself being flung around a dance floor by all manner of strange women as part of a ceilidh with a stomach full of haggis. It was great fun.

2. Did you keep your New Year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

I was going to pursue more 30 day challenges but decided against it because I was a little too busy during the first few months of the year. I may have another go in 2017.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

Not this year.

4. Did anyone close to you die?

Yes, my uncle Paul died after suffering for a year with lung cancer. Also, my lovely little hellcat died suddenly.

5. What countries did you visit?

For holidays, this year, we stayed in Europe, visiting Barcelona and Malaga in Spain and Nice in France.

A famous cathedral in Barcelona that is still not finished.

A beautiful sunset in Malaga

Bastillle Day fireworks in Nice before tragedy struck

For work, I visited China again, this time to the beautiful city of Shanghai (though to be honest I didn’t see much of it).

6. What would you like to have in 2017 that you lacked in 2016?

I think I’d like to have a little more happiness and a little less rage. Due to the negative events in 2016, I spent a lot of time feeling angry and, unlike my usual self, slightly depressed with what’s been going on. There has been too much negativity so my main aim is to dismiss that and actively search for positivity in 2017.

7. What dates from 2016 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

July 14^th will remain etched in my mind because of the events that occurred in Nice while I was on holiday. You can read about it here.

It was meant to be a public celebration of Bastille Day and instead, because of one psychopath it all turned to shit. If events had taken a different turn it could have been far worse.

June 23^rd also stands out as the day that the United Kingdom took leave of its senses and voted to leave the EU. I have ranted mercilessly about this since that fateful day.

On a lighter note, I had another reunion with my old university friends on November 19^th in London. It was great to see my old mates again.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Nothing leaps to mind, although I have kind of continued plugging away at my novel, which incidentally remains close to being finished but needs a massive amount of work for me to be happy with it. 

Also, I’ve plugged away at Spanish and managed to impress Mrs PM’s mother in Barcelona by actually having simple conversations with people. I am seriously thinking about going on a proper course this year.

9. What was your biggest failure?

My tolerance levels have been depleted and as a result my negativity, usually dormant, has been rampant. Even a week’s holiday in Malaga didn’t really help because around that time, my cat died.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

Thankfully no. That would have been the last straw.

11. What was the best thing you bought?

I revisited my childhood and invested in a PS4. As well as playing games, it serves as a backup for watching TV.

 12. Whose behaviour merited celebration?

As usual, I award Plastic Mancunian Knighthoods to those heroes who dedicate their lives to helping others without wanting the plaudits that many more famous people crave.

I salute you all - you know who you are.

13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?

Oh my God! Where do I begin?

Donald Trump’s blatant lies and misogyny have been a particular low point but I am far angrier about the blatant lies that were told on both sides of the EU referendum debate. In particular, Michael Gove and Nigel Farage have totally pissed me off just hearing their outrageous lies.

What I want to see in 2017 is the total absence of Nigel Farage from my television and in the media. I don’t want to hear his opinions on anything anymore. I am trying my best not to swear as I type and in the interests of positivity I won’t.

I just hope he goes away and now he has conned the British public surely he can.

Pity I can’t say the same for Donald Trump.

What a couple of *******

 14. Where did most of your money go?

My house and holidays.

 15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

Nothing overly excited me this year apart from going on holiday.

16. What song will always remind you of 2016?

It’s ironic that the song that reminds me of 2016 is called Happiness III by the brilliant Steven Wilson.

Still, I love the song and it is a massive earworm, with a really catchy chorus. I think you will like it too.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you: (a) happier or sadder? (b) thinner or fatter? (c) richer or poorer?

Sadly I’m sadder, fatter but possibly slightly richer.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?

I wish I’d written more to be honest. God knows there has been enough material this year. I will rectify that in 2017 as I am planning a 31 day blogathon in January and I aim to finish the first draft of my appalling novel.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?

I wish I hadn’t been so angry with politicians and politics in general. The bastards aren’t worth it.

20. How will you spend New Year's Eve?

Exactly the same as last year and this time I shall kick 2016 in the nuts and welcome 2017 with open arms and a big sloppy kiss.

21. Did you fall in love in 2016?

I am already in love – so yes.

22. What was your favourite TV program?

I think this year it has to be Sons of Anarchy, a box set that I watched throughout the year. 

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?

I didn’t think it was possible to dislike Nigel Farage any more than I did at the start of 2016. But I do. He can add that to his list of dubious achievements this year.

This conceited, arrogant hypocritical liar is the personification for Brexit as far as I am concerned and, if I were unfortunate enough to ever cross his path, I would seriously consider abandoning my non-violent nature by punching him in his smug face.

He has overtaken Piers Morgan in my list of people I truly dislike – that is some achievement.

Kissed by the world's ugliest frog!!!

24. What was the best book you read?

I thoroughly enjoyed a two book series by Dan Simmons called Illium and Olympos that combined futuristic science fiction with the siege of Troy. A brilliant concept and an amazing read.

25. What was your greatest musical discovery?

I will reveal all in a later post.

26. What did you want and get?

Nothing really. Madness prevailed in 2016 so I didn’t even fair that well mentally either.

27. What did you want and not get?

I wanted the UK to remain in the EU and we stupidly voted for Brexit.

28. What was your favourite film of this year?

I loved Captain America: Civil War. So, yes, another super hero movie.

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

Mrs PM took me to the Cotswolds for a lovely weekend break and much needed escape from reality for a couple of days.

30. What one thing made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2016?

Totally non-existent.

32. What kept you sane?

Mrs PM as usual.

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

Actually, I’ve developed quite a liking for Morena Baccarin. Fancy is too strong a word though.

34. What political issue stirred you the most?

Brexit by some distance... closely followed by the farcical US election.

35. Who did you miss?

I miss my uncle Paul.

36. Who was the best new person you met?

I’ve met a few new people this year and most of them were and are very nice people.

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2016.

Never ever, ever, ever believe a single word that comes out of the fetid mouth of any politician.

38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.

The lunatic is in the hall

The lunatics are in my hall

The paper holds their folded faces to the floor

And every day the paper boy brings more

In Out In Out Shake It All About

As promised, here is my second political post.

I apologise in advance.

Our current Prime Minister, David Cameron, is a broken man.

Normally I would enjoy this, laughing at his political troubles. Sadly, I feel sorry for him (even though all of this is his own doing).

I actually feel a little dirty because I support him for once.

Cameron has spent a few weeks travelling around the other countries of the European Union seeking support for an agreement that will convince members of his own party – oh and the rest of the UK (the likes of me) – that we will be stronger by remaining in the European Union, rather than leaving it under the monicker of a tabloid-style banner called Brexit (short for British Exit – I wonder who thought that one up?).

David Cameron has returned having actually agreed with the other European leaders that our island will be special when it comes to the European Union and that we should stay in and be a strong influence in the European Union.

Sadly, his own (right wing) Conservative party is now split right down the middle with the Eurosceptics out in force basically telling the people that their beloved leader is trying to con the British public.

On one side of this Conservative civil war we have some of the most odious Tories bellowing in their own inimitable fashion:

“We should leave the European Union immediately! If we stay then the Fires of Hell will explode and brimstone will rain down on the UK as if Satan himself had blasted us all with his unholy flame thrower!”

On the other side of this Conservative civil war we have some of the most odious Tories bellowing in their own inimitable fashion:

“We MUST stay in the European Union forever, If we leave then the Fires of Hell will explode and brimstone will rain down on the UK as if Satan himself had blasted us all with his unholy flame thrower!”

So who should we believe?

This is like a typical British election with each side trying to scare the population into supporting them. I hate all of the most vociferous Tories – on BOTH sides.

In the “OUT” campaign we have Michael Gove, Iain Duncan Smith and Boris Johnson – all three of whom I would quite happily punch in the face.

YIKES!!!!! Don't you just want to punch them??

In the “IN” campaign we have David Cameron, George Osborne and Jeremy Hunt – all three of whom I would love to punch in the face.

I actually agree with these BOZOS!!! I still want to punch them!!

I am not a violent person and these six people have done this to me, your friendly neighbourhood Plastic Mancunian.

I have actually just vomited a little in my mouth because I pictured myself supporting George Osborne and Jeremy Hunt.

The vote takes place in June and if you live in the UK, expect to see a campaign of total lies, excessive scaremongery with a smidgeon of sliminess, a dollop of faux-insincerity all garnished with a blob of false patriotism. If I see Cameron claim that he loves Britain more than anybody else again I think I will call Donald Trump to arrange to have a wall built around him.

Worse, we also have UKIP, the UK Independence Party, fronted by Nigel Farage, a man who is so anti-European that he married a German and hired her as his personal secretary. It’s beyond belief. Talk about hypocrisy.

No more Germans - apart from my wife!!!

You will hear arguments such as:

“If we leave the European Union, it will be terrible for business and there will be thousands of job losses.”

This is from the “IN” campaign – and from the "OUT" Campaign” you will hear:

“If we stay in the European Union, it will be terrible for business and there will be thousands of job losses.”

We hear the exact same argument from BOTH sides about National Security. Leaving the European Union and staying in the European Union will BOTH be catastrophic.

What the hell is the everyday British person supposed to believe?

I heard one commentator call the whole thing a pantomime and he is absolutely correct.

So who does the everyday Brit  support? Do we listen to the scaremongery of David Cameron or Boris Johnson?  Do we listen to so-called colleagues who were united during the last election but are now at each other’s throats over this?

Well I’ve made up my mind, as I said above,and I think we should stay in the European Union. From what I hear from real people on the subject, the "OUT" brigade are basically citing immigration and freedom of movement as the reason to leave.

All of the opposition parties support staying in the European Union and the further right you get, and the more xenophobic these people become (and yes I am talking about you, Nigel Farage, and your little Englander party of xenophobes).

This is the nasty undercurrent that the "OUT" brigade have to deal with.

Of course, most will say “It’s not that we’re scared of Europeans – it’s just …”.

I’m not saying that all those supporting the "OUT" campaign feel like this but I’ve heard a lot of people voicing this opinion as the reason to leave.

Personally, I am the complete opposite of xenophobic. I love the diversity of humanity, the amazing cultures that exist worldwide.  I love Europe and I would love to spend a large portion of my retirement in the south of France, Spain or Italy.

Maybe I will; maybe I won’t. But I do know that if we leave the European Union such dreams will be harder to achieve.

I just hope that the campaign of fear over the next few months is replaced by a more realistic explanation of the pros and cons of the EU, without resorting to xenophobia.

I can dream, can’t I?

The Time Of Liars

How can you tell when  a politician is lying?

It’s easy; he’s talking.

The time I dread is upon us;  that’s if you live in the United Kingdom. Yes, it’s election time again, when we are subjected to a parade of lying politicians appearing on the television, on the radio, on the internet and, if like me you are unlucky enough to live in a marginal constituency, on your own doorstep.

It’s time for an election and for the next few weeks the British people have to endure a bunch of double-talking, dishonest and deceitful hypocrites promising the world and delivering nothing but their own agenda.

Over the coming weeks, the news will be full of these people using scare tactics or worse to get us to put a tick in a box next to the name of a lying representative of their party, all so that one of the leaders can become our next Prime Minister and spend the next five years shafting us all in one way or another.

So what array of liars do we have?

Allow me to introduce them to you.

David Cameron is the current Prime Minister and leader of the Conservative party, a party who love rich people. With his Chancellor, George Osbourne, you have two former public school boys who think that they are one with people, declaring “We’re all in this together,” while at the same time allowing the rich to get richer and the poor, via a savage austerity programme, to get poorer.

David Cameron

Osborne - Smugness Personified

Ed Miliband is the leader of the opposition and has become a laughing stock, simply because he looks like a melting waxwork and speaks as if he has a huge ball of cotton wool up his nostrils. While he claims to stand for fairness, it’s difficult to believe him and not just because his rhetoric is delivered from his funny face and lopsided mouth.

Which one is the leader of Labour Party?

The current Deputy Prime Minister and leader of the Liberal Democrats is Nick Clegg, a man whose party is currently in government as the tiny party in coalition with David Cameron’s Conservatives. He made promises before the election but his party realistically couldn’t get elected with a majority on their own. They formed an unholy alliance with the Conservatives and when they had a taste of power all of their pre-election promises were completely broken. He made an impassioned film apologising for his deceit but all this did was make his party even more unpopular.

Nick Clegg

Nick Clegg's  apology was quite rightfully mocked:

But the really bad thing is that thanks to his broken promises my younger son will leave university in a few years’ time with an enormous debt.

Clegg’s party is now floundering and this has let in a very scary party called UKIP (UK Independence Party) led by “man of the people”, the beer drinking, smoking man who “tells it like it is”, Mr Nigel Farage. Like Ed Miliband, he is a strange looking guy but he resonates with the little Englanders up and down the country who blame every problem in the UK on one thing: immigration.

Farage - Looney Leader

While Farage tells his scaremongering lies very eloquently, claiming that he does not lead a racist party, certain UKIP councillors and other members of his party have exposed their true colours.

Like this lady:

She was sacked. But what about this man?



He was sacked too. How about the UKIP councillor who blamed a series of severe floods in the south of England on David Cameron’s decision to legalise gay marriage?

He too was suspended. It seems to me that Mr Farage has his work cut out trying to apologise for the loonies in his party.

Nigel Farage - nothing more needs to be said

There are other parties too, most notably Plaid Cymru (“The Party for Wales”) and the Scottish Nationalist Party, neither of whom I can vote for, who are totally driven by issues for their own country and the break-up of the United Kingdom.

Usually it is a two horse race between Labour and the Conservatives but this time there seems to be no party that will get the required majority. This means that we will almost certainly end up with yet another coalition, lots more broken promises and, if we are really unlucky, a lunatic party like UKIP having a say in government policies.

As I said, I live in a marginal constituency which means that the only likely winners for my seat are the Liberal Democrats or Labour. There will be a stream of leaflets from these two parties through my letterbox and if I am really unlucky, the party activists and/or prospective MPs themselves will come-a-knocking hoping that I will promise to vote for them.

When I get my ballot paper, I want another option. I know I won’t get it but you can hope, can’t you?

The option is “None of the Above”.

Alternatively, I could vote for The Official Monster Raving Looney Party (“Vote For Insanity”) – and yes they really do exist (click here if you don't believe me).

With candidates like “Sir Oink-a-lot”, “Baron von Thunderclap”, “R.U.Seerius”, “Minkey the Drummer” and “Baron Barnes von Claptrap” they will make more sense than the liars we have to suffer.

Hopefully, on the night, TV coverage will be like this:

We can live in hope, can’t we?