Sunday 8 December 2019


The silly season is now upon us. It is a good time of year but the time when people start behaving differently as we close in on Christmas. We have parties, festivities, food, drink, frivolity, decorations, more food, more drink, gifts, generosity, even more food and even more drink.

And I love it, not least because I get almost a fortnight off work. Alas, I have to wait until December 19th for that to happen but it will be great not to go into the office.

So, while I’m waiting I will answer more daft questions from Sunday Stealing.

This time they are from Pinterest (yet another social media thing).

1. What don’t you share?

Two things. The first is my toothbrush. The thought of using a toothbrush after anybody makes me fill rather ill. I once heard somebody say “if you really love somebody then you will let them use your toothbrush.”


I love Mrs PM but there is no way on earth that I would share my toothbrush with her. In fact, thinking about it, I am almost tempted to buy a couple of spare ones for trips – just in case either of us forget our main toothbrush!


The second this is food. When I order a meal, I order it because I want it. When somebody says “Do you want to try some of mine?” I say “NO! NO! NO! Read my lips! DAVE DOES NOT SHARE HIS FOOD!”.

I am totally with Joey on this.

2. A reason to celebrate?

Like I said at the start of this post, the silly season is upon us so that’s cause for celebration. We had our work Christmas party on Friday and there are another two or three coming up in the next couple of weeks, followed by time off work and New Year – as well as New Decade! Let’s all have some fun.

3. Describe where you are now.

I am sitting in the back room of my house at my desk next to the window overlooking the back garden. It is a nice sunny day too (if not a little cold).

This room is a kind of den for me but obviously it is accessible and used by Mrs PM too. My laptop and monitors are here, with an in-tray shared by Mrs PM. I have speakers and a subwoofer connected to the laptop so that I can listen to my vast music collection whilst writing this nonsense.

There is a fireplace with a gas fire that looks like a wood burner, two settees and a large TV in the corner connected to a Playstation 4 which I can use to either watch TV or play games. It’s a cosy place and when we have friends round we usually sit here because it is right next to the kitchen.

4. A dream that seems impossible.

Nothing is impossible, however my current dream is that in the election we are just about to have, that the British people finally come to their senses and get rid of the parasitic clown that is our current Prime Minister, one nasty piece of work called Boris Johnson. If we can rid the country of this buffoon then hopefully we can stop Brexit in it’s tracks before it is too late.

Sadly, opinion polls seem to indicate that once more the British people are falling for the bilge that comes out of his mouth.

Any foreign people looking in must be laughing at us. Here we are shooting ourselves in the foot over Brexit and being fooled by a man who in public portrays himself as a loveable rogue, a clown and a bumbling buffoon.

"I am a complete BUFFOON!"

I despair. I’m sorry about the rant.

5. Something you hope for.

Personally, I hope that I can afford to retire sooner rather than later. Sadly that may not be possible but at least I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. Plans are in place.

6. A tradition that makes you feel at home.

Sorry to mention it again, but Christmas makes me feel at home. The cold weather outside makes a cosy house seem even more comfortable.

7. The people who make your life better.

I think that’s fairly obvious – friends and family. I am not going to mention anybody specifically but they know who they are.

8. Someone you’d like to meet.

I would love to meet three people. Devin Townsend, Steven Wilson and Mariusz Duda. Who are they (I  hear you cry)?

Devin Townsend is a prolific Canadian progressive metal artist who produces a wide range of musical output from ambient rock to full-blooded heavy metal with everything in between. And he is a very funny guy. Here is a sample:

Steven Wilson is a prolific English progressive rock musician and singer who is dubbed in Britain as the most successful British artist you have never heard of. Here is a sample:

Finally Mariusz Duda is another prolific progressive rock musician and singer, this time from Poland. He is the main man behind my current favourite band, Riverside, as well as having a solo side-project called Lunatic Soul. Here is a sample:

9. A silly thing you’d really like.

Two things. A snooker table and a dartboard. Mrs PM would never allow me to have a dartboard because I would inevitably put a picture of Boris Johnson on it and hurl darts at it all day. Also, she would fear that I miss and put holes in the walls.

Of course, the snooker table would be far to big for any room and I would never be able to fit anything else in – nor have room to actually play snooker if I think about it.

A very silly idea.

10. A book from your childhood.

Thanks to school, I used to have to read some pretty dreadful and overrated books in English Literature. I was never really into kids books – I found them too silly – so I started reading old science fiction novels. I will select The Invisible Man by H.G. Wells. I guess some of you will not regard that as a childhood novel – but I loved it.

11. Something you’re still not sure about.

Thousands of things – all weird things too. What to choose; what to choose. Okay – here goes. I am not sure whether aliens exist or not. I am more of a scientifically minded person and I read a lot of stuff about the weirder sides of science. I suppose aliens fascinate me more than anything else and there is evidence (potentially manufactured) that we have been visited by aliens for millennia.

I guess I will never know until such time that I get abducted, prodded, probed and returned to tell the tale. Sadly, if that happens, nobody will believe me anyway and I will be cast aside as a madman.

12. The best dessert to share with friends.

There is no dessert to share with friends (see my answer to question 1). However, if I were to make a dessert I would probably share a Black Forest Gateau – simply because it is probably too big to eat myself.

13. A story that captures your imagination

The Necroscope Saga by Bryan Lumley. As you may have gathered, I have weird tastes in films and books and this series of thirteen novels (yes thirteen!!) plus five other later supplementary books has everything I love.

It has vampires – not the crap ones in the Twilight Saga – but really nasty scary ones.

It has a hero who can talk to the dead and teleport through space and time.

That is all you need to know.

14. Memories beside a fireplace.

When I was a child, my grandparents had a proper coal fireplace and in the winter we used to sit in front of it to keep warm while watching TV and eating cakes and sweets that they had bought and baked. The thing about a real coal fireplace is that when it gets too hot you can’t turn the heat down, so we all used to move to the edges of the room as it warmed up. The smell of the fire was also unique and is lodged in my mind somewhere so that I will instantly recognise it when I next encounter one. They don’t really exist anymore – which may be a good  thing given the smoke they produce.

15. How do you spend a rainy day?

We get a lot of rain in Manchester and the UK in general so we have many places we can be when the rain comes, such as a pub, at home watching TV or even sometimes just going for a walk in the rain – which strangely can be a pleasant experience too, depending on the amount of rain.


Medhini said...

Nice read... Seemed honest.

Grace said...

It's not so much sharing food, it's someone reaching over and TAKING FOOD FROM MY PLATE. OMG- NO. You want to taste what I have? Ok - I'll take a portion of it and I will put it on YOUR plate. Keep your fingers and your fork to yourself.

Plastic Mancunian said...

Hi Medhini,

I try to be honest.




Plastic Mancunian said...

Hi Grace,

Taking food from your plate is a crime that should be punshable by forcing the culprit to either pay for the entire meal or cook you a meal of your choosing for free.

I am with you completely.




Kwizgiver said...

Oh--how I laugh at that Friends clip!

CountryDew said...

I read Wuthering Heights when I was about 9 years old - definitely not childhood reading. So you're not alone there. And as an American I am suffering along with you; Brexit is going to have lasting repercussions that will be felt worldwide. Your Boris is our Trump. How did it come to this?

Stacy said...

Just promise that you will continue to comb your hair after you have been abducted, prodded, probed and returned. You might be taken for a madman, but you don't have to go all "Ancient Aliens" and LOOK like one. ;)

Have a joyful week!

Annie said...

Yes, a dart board! We had one in the basement with wonderful old darts of wood and real feathers. I would like to have one as well I think.

River said...

#9, solution is a wall sized dartboard, no way to put holes in the walls then.
#10 when I was seven, I'm told I asked for and received the book "A Town Like Alice" for Christmas and read it before New Year. I've read it since then and realise that at age seven there's no way I fully understood it, but I must have liked it because I kept reading it as I grew older until I did understand it.

Plastic Mancunian said...

Hi Kwizgiver,

Me too - it is also very true and I have heard other blokes say it in restaurants in the past.




Plastic Mancunian said...

Hi CountryDe,

I have no idea. The world is going mad!




Plastic Mancunian said...

Hi Stacey,

Have you seen my hair?

I hate it. I look like a madman every morning because of it anyway.




Plastic Mancunian said...

Hi Ann,

I oce played for a pub darts team - many many years ago now sadly. I wasn't bad - I probably am now though.




Plastic Mancunian said...

Hi River,

Sadly, wall-sized dartboards don't exist - I may need one though.

I've never read A Town Like Alice. Maybe I will one day.




zippiknits...sometimes said...

Fantastic Rant! I almost got away with a tiny one for our present Commander and Thief but decided not to go there. ;o)
And, I'd never share a toothbrush with anyone either. Better to just rub the paste on with a cloth covered finger than to risk it.
Enjoy that fortnight!

Plastic Mancunian said...

Hi zippi,

Go for the rant. You'll feel better.




Bev Sykes said...

Sorry your dream didn't come through. But I like the dartboard idea...only mine would have The Orange One on it.

Plastic Mancunian said...

Hi Bev,

I'm sorry too. I will buy a dartboard with both of them on.