Book of Questions

Four more days of work to go until a well-earned Christmas break. What better way to pass the time than to answer a load of daft questions from Sunday Stealing?

1. If you saw a dog locked in a hot car, what would you do?

It depends where it was, whether I knew the owner of the car, how hot it was and whether or not the dog was in trouble.

If I knew the owner of the car (and the dog) I would contact them and tell them. Failing that, I would probably call the police and ask for advice or seek assistance from other passers-by so that I didn’t get the sole blame for smashing the window with a brick or damaging the door to give the poor creature some assistance.

2.  Is it easy for you to accept help when you need it?

Absolutely. I work in an industry where no one person is an expert. I ask for help all the time and other people equally ask me for help. One of my mantras at work, especially when dealing with relatively new people is “There are no stupid questions!”, which not only encourages people to ask but also makes me approachable when it comes to assisting, which is what I like in a person when I need help.

We all need help at some point in our lives and we should never be afraid to ask, whether it is in a work environment or personally.

I sometimes don’t think we help each other enough, if I can be brutally honest.

3. Have you ever been in a fashion show?

HA HA HA HA HA!

Of course I haven’t. As my old mum used to say, I “look like a bag of rubbish!”.

In my life I have either been too skinny or, as I am now, built like that bag of rubbish my mum used to call me as a child when I went out dressed in my scruffy clothes. There might have been a few months in the transition between a skinny little git to the slightly blubbery old git that I am now when I was what you might have called “okay” – but never good enough to parade up and down a cat walk dressed in ridiculous clothes, pouting and mincing.

It would have been more like a comedy show than a fashion show.

4. Would you like to be famous?

Perhaps. I would certainly like the money that famous people enjoy. However, I don’t think I would be able to deal with fame and would end up being a recluse.

5. What is your most compulsive habit?

I probably swear too much if I’m brutally honest. Over the past few years, I have been trying not to, but I wear my heart on my sleeve and sometimes my reactions are a little too honest. At least with me, what you see is what you get.

6. What do you most strive for in your life: accomplishment, security, love, power, excitement, knowledge, or something else?

At this stage of my time on planet Earth I am striving for self-improvement in all aspects of my life. I think, really, as I approach the end of my time competing in the rat race, I am seeking knowledge and enough excitement to keep an older man happy.

7. How close and warm is your family?

My immediate family (Mrs PM and the two boys) are very close. My sisters live quite far away and over the years we have grown closer as we see each other more these days. I get on well with my in-laws as long as politics doesn’t rear its ugly head, in which case I usually have to demand a change of subject or simply walk out of the house.

8. Does that fact that you have never done a thing before increase or decrease its appeal to you?

There are some things I really want to do but simply haven’t had the time, mainly travelling, learning new stuff and writing more. These things appeal.

There are other things that I really do not want to do, such as leaping out of an aircraft protected by a big rag and some rope, attaching a long thick elastic band to my body and leaping off a bridge. Such things do not appeal at all.

My brain isn’t wired that way.

9. If your friends start belittling a common acquaintance, would you defend that person?

Absolutely. I do not like bullies, especially if those bullies are my friends.

10.  Do you make a special effort to thank someone who does you a favour? How do you react when you aren’t thanked for going out of your way for someone?

Of course I make a special effort to thank somebody for doing me a favour.

I don’t necessarily demand thanks back though. I’m just a nice guy, I guess.

11. Since adolescence, in what 3-year period do you feel you experienced the most personal growth and change?

I would say between the ages of 19 and 22 when I was at university. I was away from home for the first time and dropped into an academic environment where I knew absolutely nobody. At the start of that period, I was a shy, timid and spotty little child and when I came out of it, I was so much more.

12. When you do something ridiculous, how much does it bother you to have other people notice it and laugh at you?

It doesn’t bother me at all. One of the best lessons I have learned in my life, is to learn to cope with embarrassment and to laugh at myself. When you can deal with embarrassment, you can cope with a lot of things that life throws at you.

13. Do you believe in capital punishment?

No, I don’t. We haven’t had capital punishment in the UK since the late 1960’s, early 1970’s. We have had people convicted of murder in the UK and then, later, found to be innocent. If they had been executed then that would have been tantamount to murder by the state itself – which is unforgiveable.

14. Do you find it so hard to say “no” that you regularly do favours you do not want to do?

No. People are used to me saying no when they ask for favours that I cannot do or do not want to do.

15.  What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?

Sometimes laughing at certain things can improve a bad situation like for example at a funeral when you recall something funny about the dearly departed person, it can briefly combat the grief people feel. You can joke about most things but there are places I won’t go, such as religion (but only because people can be really offended by it).