The Stupid Evil Bastard Meme

First meme of the year, stolen from Sunday Stealing .

Here goes:


1. What time did you get up this morning?

Today is Saturday, a day when I get the chance to have a lie in. I went to bed on Friday at around 1:30 am having been drawn into “Starship Troopers” and hoped that I would wake up at a nice time in mid-morning feeling gully refreshed and ready for a relaxing weekend. Wrong!

I pinged awake at 7:30 am, barely six hours after my head touched the pillow.

Why does that happen? Why? Why?

The answer is therefore : too bloody early!!!

2. How do you like your steak?

That depends where I am. If I am in England I ask for it to be medium rare. If I am in France I ask for it to be well done (if they ask that is – and if they can understand my pigeon French) because if I don’t then it is usually so rare that it looks like it has just been sliced off the cow.

3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema?

Sore point. We had a vote. I voted for “Gulliver’s Travels” starring Jack Black and Mrs PM and the lads voted for Little Fockers. So I lost and I had to watch that. It was quite amusing though.

4. What is your favorite TV show?

At this present moment in time it is the brand new series of “True Blood”. Lots of vampires, blood, sex and Anna Pacquin.



5. If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be?

I would live in Hong Kong. I love the place.

6. What did you have for breakfast?

Mrs PM and I tossed a coin and she lost. Her forfeit was to cook one of her incredible English breakfasts, while I had to go out in the rain and buy the paper. Actually, come to think of it, I’m not sure she lost.

7. What is your favorite cuisine?

I like all sorts. I’m a big fan of Chinese, Indian, Mexican and Italian – so close your eyes, and pin your cursor on one of those. Whichever you choose, I’ll say that’s the answer.

8. What foods do you dislike?

Rhubarb, dates, figs, prunes, damsons, cranberry, pears, liver and most Thai food. If I am in China, insects, tripe and any pet.

9. Favorite Place to Eat?

I love eating in the pub. You can’t beat a hearty pub meal washed down with a pint of bitter.


10. Favorite dressing?

Clothes. Oh – you mean for salad? That has to be blue cheese.I’d better not mix those up again. I would look a bit daft wearing blue cheese and I would probably get arrested too.

11.What kind of vehicle do you drive?

I drive a dark blue clapped out old Ford Escort. Sadly at its last MOT I was told that they were running out of bodywork to weld more metal onto so I fear that it will not survive until September.

12. What are your favorite clothes?

I feel most comfortable in jeans and a T shirt.


13. Where would you visit if you had the chance?

In order of preference: Japan, New Zealand, Mexico, Brazil, Peru, Argentina.

14. Cup 1/2 empty or 1/2 full?

Beer glass half full. I am a stupid optimist.

15. Where would you want to retire?

I would love to retire somewhere hot. I am drawn to the South of France to be honest. Ideally I would love to be able to afford a second home somewhere like that so that I can pop back to England in the summer.

16. Favorite time of day?

I am a night person. I am a grumpy old git in the morning – well, more grumpy than I am at any other time in the day.

17. Where were you born?

I was born in a bedroom in a terraced house in Walsall. Apparently it was a Monday morning at 5am and my mum screamed the place down. My dad sat downstairs chain-smoking. I was a big baby with a big head and apparently I did a little bit of damage. Nothing’s changed there then.

18. What is your favorite sport to watch?

Football. If you are American, dear reader, I shall translate for you: soccer. If you are Australian, dear reader, I don’t mean that crazy Australian Rules game where players beat the living daylights out of each other.

Oh – and also, if you are Australian, I LOVE CRICKET!! Can I just say: 3-1, 3-1, 3-1 and gloat about the Ashes again?


19. Who do you think will not tag you back?

I’m not going to tag anybody so the answer is nobody.

20. Person you expect to tag you back first?

See previous answer.

21. Who are you most curious about their responses to this?

This question or this meme? Or life? I guess I would like to see this meme completed by Barack Obama, Chuck Norris and Mr T. And perhaps the Hoff as well.

22. Bird watcher?

I am a secret bird watcher – unless Mrs PM’s not around when I am blatant about it. I’m sorry – that was sexist but I couldn’t resist.

23. Are you a morning person or a night person?

I answered that question above. I just want to add that I would love to be a vampire.

24. Do you have any pets?

I have two feline masters; a fat moggy called Jasper and his sister Poppy who is scared of everything.

25. Any new and exciting news you’d like to share?

Yes. I am off to China again in February and am currently psyching myself up to handle Chinese toilets. I am also off to a new country on holiday later in the year – I’m off to Turkey.

26. What did you want to be when you were little?

Bizarrely I wanted to be a footballer, a pop star and an actor. Sadly, I can’t play football, I can’t sing (well I can, only I sound like a cat being skinned with a lawnmower) and I can’t act. That’s why I am an IT geek. If only I had learned to play the guitar instead of a bloody trombone.

27. What is your best childhood memory?

Without a shadow of a doubt, it was leaving school and telling one particular teacher what I thought of him. Incredibly he laughed, clapped me on the shoulder and said, “You’ll go far. Good luck.” Weird.

28. Are you a cat or dog person?

I am a secret dog person but I also like cats. Sadly, Mrs PM is a total cat person, hence the reason why I am slave to two moggies.

29. Are you married?

I have been married and am now in a “partnership” with Mrs PM. We are effectively married though.

30. Always wear your seat belt?

Well if I don’t the chances are that I could be collared by a policeman. So the answer is yes – it is the law.


31. Been in a car accident?

I’ve reversed my car off my drive straight into a parked car on the other side of the road. Convinced that I had hit the kerb, I drove forward and reversed into it AGAIN! What a total pillock I was. I destroyed the door and the owner was so shocked at my ineptitude that he was speechless.

32. Any pet peeves?

Have you got a few years? Yes – I have quite literally several thousand.

33. Favorite Pizza Toppings?

Cheese.

34. Favorite Flower?

I’m not a big flower person but I like roses.

35. Favorite ice cream?

Chocolate chip cookie.

36. Favorite fast food restaurant?

I don’t go to fast food restaurants unless I have had a few beers – and then it is the local kebab shop, so I will say that.

37. How many times did you fail your driver’s test?

I passed first time despite failing to spot that the traffic light had changed from red to green. I looked up just as it changed back to red and swore. But I still passed.

Incidentally, my eldest lad, Stephen, has just passed his driving test – first time too. I feel so old.

38. From whom did you get your last email?

It was junk mail offering me genital extensions.

39. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card?

A shop that sold electronic equipment, books and CDs.

40. Do anything spontaneous lately?

No. What a boring answer!!!

41. Like your job?

No! That’s something I could write a book on.

42. Broccoli?

Yes – I wear it all the time.

43. What was your favorite vacation?

I would say a trip to Australia via Hong Kong (on the way there) and Singapore (on the way back) in 2005.

44. Last person you went out to dinner with?

Mrs PM and her mum.


45. What are you listening to right now?

I am listening to “Shout” by Tears For Fears. One of the greatest pop songs of the 1980’s.


46. What is your favorite color?

Back and blue.

47. How many tattoos do you have?

Déjà vu!!! I don’t have any tattoos because I am afraid of needles.

48. How many times have you tagged someone to do a meme?

Never – I don’t do that kind of thing.

49. What time did you finish this meme?

It is now 22:30 and Match of the Day is about to start.

50. Coffee Drinker?

Rarely. I prefer beer and tea (not together).