The Ninja Meme - Parts One and Two

It’s been a week or two since I stole a meme from Sunday Stealing and as is typical of the situation, I find myself facing the second of a two part meme.

The only possible way forward is to attempt both parts.

Here we go.

1. What do you add to your coffee?

I usually add just milk. Occasionally, when there is no milk available or if the only milk available smells like the inside of a rugby player’s jock strap, I don’t bother and drink it black.

I have been known sometimes to add something alcoholic – purely for medicinal purposes you understand.


2. What are you reading now?

Apart from these questions?

If you are referring to my current book, it is “Under The Dome” by Stephen King. It’s a bit of a monster but is compelling and very enjoyable. I’ve almost finished. It will make a great film – it will be about eight hours long though.

3. Do you own a gun?

I own a water pistol to shoot invading cats. Apart from that I would never even consider owning a gun. This isn’t the kind of country where you need one to be fair. Besides, if I did own one, I would be tempted to emulate Elvis Presley and shoot the TV – particularly if Jeremy Kyle or Piers Morgan were on.

4. Are you registered to vote?

Of course I am. I live in England.

5. Do you get nervous before doctor appointments?

It depends what I am going to see the doctor for. So far, the answer is no – but you never know in future. I would imagine that having a boil in a very embarrassing place might make me nervous – particularly if the doctor were female.

6. What do you think of hot dogs?

I like them and I think they should be put on the endangered species list.

7. Favorite Christmas Song?

That has to be “Fairy Tale of New York” by the Pogues and Kirsty MacColl.

8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning?

I’m sure I’ve answered this one many times – a cup of tea and a glass of grapefruit juice.

9. Can you do push ups?

I’m not sure now. I’ve been able to do them in the past – it was a natural part of my gym routine a few years ago. Sadly, though, since my exercise now consists of walking around a bit and lifting a pint of beer, I may not be able to do as many as I used to be able to.

I will have a go in the New Year, when I try to become fit again.

10. What was the name of your first boyfriend/girlfriend?

That’s a great question. I think, really, it was probably Anita, who I went out with at the age of about nine. I can’t remember too much about her to be honest – she was probably crazy for being my girlfriend.

11. What’s your favorite piece of jewelery?

I don’t wear jewellery. In fact I don’t think I actually possess any jewellery.

12. Favorite hobby?

I would say writing the drivel that you are reading now, i.e. blogging. Sorry about that, dear reader.

Cat baiting comes a close second.

13. Do you work with people who idolize you?

Absolutely! ALL of my work colleagues idolise me. I am a deity in their eyes and they all strive to be as brilliant as I am.

I am also a total and utter liar.

14. Do you have ADD?

Not as far as I know.

15. What’s one trait that you hate about yourself?

That has to be procrastination. I have declared war on this terrible evil nemesis of mine and am struggling to overcome it. I am improving but it is a bloody hard slog I can tell you.

In fact, I will tell you my strategy – tomorrow maybe.

16. What’s your Middle name?

My middle name is Adonis. Actually, no – it’s more embarrassing than that – it’s George.

17. Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment.

(1) I really love Metallica (I am currently listening to “The Day That never Comes”).

(2) I hate winter. Its bloody freezing and I hate the fact that Britain grounds to a halt when we get snow.

(3) Why did I take on this bloody meme?

18. Name 3 things you bought yesterday.

A pint of bitter, a glass of dry white wine, another pint of bitter. I was at the pub.

19. Name 3 beverages you regularly drink.

Tea, grapefruit juice and beer - not together of course.

20. Current worry right now?

Will the weather get worse overnight? We’re going to a wedding reception in Accrington tomorrow night and the journey might be a little scary. The news is full of stories of people being stuck in their cars for hours on end. We are really shit in this country when we get bad weather. Perhaps I said that before.

21. What side do you dress to?

That’s a bit personal but I will answer it anyway because that’s the kind of guy I am; the right side.

22. Favorite place to be?

At this current moment I would say in front of the fire because it is bloody freezing. Apart from that, probably Hong Kong as long as Mrs PM is there too.

23. How did you bring in the New Year?

I spent the last night of 2009 in the company of five lovely ladies, dancing to songs by “The Rat Pack”. You can read about it here.

Lucky me!

24. Where would you like to go?

At the moment, anywhere warm. A fortnight in a wonderful warm place would be lovely.

25. Name three people who will see today.

Odd question. I imagine most people in the world will see today.

26. Whose responses to Stealing do you want to read the most?

I read a lot of them to be honest and all of them are fabulous. I particularly like funny ones.

27. What color shirt are you wearing?

I am wearing a black T-shirt.

28. Do you like sleeping on satin sheets?

With my hair? I would imagine that the friction would make me look like Einstein on crack.

29. Can you whistle?

Yes – as long as you aren’t asking me to do that whistle involving sticking fingers in my mouth. If I try that, I end up looking like a dribbling imbecile (as opposed to just an imbecile).

30. Favorite colors(s)?

Black and blue.

31. Could you be a pirate?

I would love to be a pirate – as long as it didn’t involve sailing, cutlasses and parrots. I just want the treasure.

32. What songs do you sing in the shower?

I sing all sorts of stuff. I try not to sing anything by Dream Theater though because the songs last so long.

33. Favorite girls name?

If I had had a baby girl I would have wanted her to be called Rachel – so I guess I will say that.

34. Favorite boy’s name?

Dave, of course. Dave is the greatest boy’s name in existence. Everybody loves Dave – we even have a TV channel named after us in England.

35. What’s in your pocket right now?

Nothing. I usually have a phone, keys and a wallet normally.

36. Last thing that made you laugh?

I watched last night’s “Peep Show” earlier today – and that made me laugh out loud.

37. Best bed sheets as a child?

I always had boring sheets. I would have wanted something involving space ships and aliens but my mother would never buy them.

38. Worst injury you’ve ever had?

I’ve never really been injured seriously. The worst injury was due to my monumental stupidity. At the age of fifteen I was riding on a bike down a hill with a friend on the back. He pushed my arms and we both went over the top of the handlebars.I landed face first on the road and he landed on top of me. I thought I had lost both of my front teeth but thankfully only managed to chip one of them. My lips came up like a couple of oranges and my glasses shattered. There was blood everywhere and my mother thought I had broken my nose – I hadn’t thankfully. I ended up with two black eyes and loads of scratches and looked like I had been fifteen rounds with Mohammed Ali.

39. Do you love where you live?

I love Manchester as a city – it is full of life and a very entertaining place to be. The only thing I don’t like is the weather.

40. How many TVs do you have in your house? How many HDTVs?

I have one 37 inch HDTV, an old TV that we use for the Wii and Playstation and a portable one upstairs.

41. Who is your loudest friend?

My friends would probably say that I am their loudest friend – compared to me they are all mice.

42. How many dogs do you have?

Sadly I don’t own a dog. I would dearly love one though but it isn’t exactly fair to keep one at the moment, with both of us working all the time. I am still hoping to persuade Mrs PM to get one when I retire, which may prove difficult because she is a cat person.

43. Does anyone have a crush on you?

I think that Mrs PM does (she has such bad taste in men). If there is anybody else, I don’t know about it.

44. What are the most fun things you ever did?

Too many to mention but all involve travelling abroad.

45. What are your favorite books?

I love horror, science fiction and action thrillers like those written by Robert Ludlum. I will name one in each genre for you.

Horror – “The Dark” by James Herbert.

Science Fiction – “The War of the Worlds” by H.G.Wells

Thrillers – “The Bourne Ultimatum” by Robert Ludlum.

47. Favorite Team?

I am sad to say that my favourite team is Walsall Football Club, currently languishing at the bottom of the third tier of the English football league. They stole my soul at the age of five and try as I might I simply cannot retrieve it – no matter how shit they are.

48. What songs do you want played at your funeral?

I definitely answered this a couple of weeks ago. For those of you who didn’t read that particular meme:

Stairway to Heaven – Led Zeppelin

Home – Depeche Mode

49. What were you doing at 12 AM?

According to Mrs Pm I was snoring so loudly that the cats were trying to escape the house through the walls.

50. What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up?

What’s the bloody weather like today?