Sunday 12 July 2009

Why (Part Two)?

Here are some questions I stumbled across – I’ve added a few of my own too.

Why do people like modern art when in reality it is just awful?

Why is it that the further you are from a toilet, the more desperately you need to go?

Why isn’t “ten” pronounced “onety”?

Why are most politicians ugly?

Why do they make cars that can travel at 140 mph when the maximum speed you can drive is 70mph?

Why do banks have branches when money doesn’t grow on trees?

Why are the instructions on how to cook packaged meat always on the inside of the package?

Why did my mum ask if I’d washed behind my ears, when my hair was so long that it covered them?

Why do doctors have such poor writing? And why are pharmacists the only people who can read prescriptions?

Why does more hair grow out of a man’s nose and ears as he gets older?

Why can’t I tickle myself?

Why do you look up the spelling of a word in a dictionary when, surely, if you didn’t know how to spell it you would never find it?

Why is a lift called a lift when it can go down?

Why are people promoted above their level of competence?

Why do people demand to have the word “manager” in their job title, even if, say, they only sweep the streets?

Why do slow drivers always wear hats?

Why do you never see the headline “psychic wins the lottery”?

Why is the third hand on a clock called the second hand?

Why is there a light in the fridge but not in the freezer?

Why do celebrities die in threes?

Why aren’t there any guilty bystanders?

Why is there an “s” in the word “lisp”?

Why do you get on a train but into a car?

Why do intelligent intellectual types always look so weird?

Why are intelligent intellectual types always portrayed by good looking actors in films?

Why is it that when a door is open it’s ajar but when a jar is open it’s not adoor?

Why is it that lemon juice contains mostly artificial ingredients but dish washing liquid contains real lemons?

Why do they make bullet-proof vests but not bullet proof pants?

Why aren’t there “junior citizens” as well as “senior citizens”?

Why do British people complain about the hot weather in the summer then pine for it in the winter?

Why are there instructions on a shampoo bottle?

Why doesn’t the glue stick to the inside of a bottle?

Why do we say “sleep like a baby” when babies wake up constantly?

Why do we still have apes if humans were supposed to have evolved from them?

Why don’t sheep shrink when it rains?

Why do mattresses have patterns on them when they are always covered by a sheet?

Why do lawyers charge so much for doing not a lot?

Why do we say “goodbye” but not “goodhello”?

Why isn’t “phonetic” spelled the way it sounds?

Why is “abbreviation” such a long word?

Why is the alphabet in the order it’s in?

Why do shops that stay open for 24 hours have locks on their doors?

Why does traffic move slowest during the rush hour?

Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Why do British singers sing with an American accent?

Why is the plural of “tooth” “teeth” but the plural of “booth” not “beeth”

Why is the plural of “goose” “geese” but the plural of “moose” is not “meese”?

Why doesn’t Tarzan have a beard?

Why when you yawn do other people in the room start to yawn as well?

Why is your funny bone not funny at all?

Why do people fall head over heels in love? Isn’t your head always over your heels?

Why do people always want to push the red button that says “Do not push this button”?

Why are the elderly called “old people” yet children are not called “new people”?

Why does it never rain when I take an umbrella but always rain when I forget it?

Why is there no pine nor apple in pineapple?

Why do women have so many pairs of shoes?

Why do women always go to the toilet in pairs?

And finally - Piers Morgan - WHY????????


Grace said...

Hahaha. Now I remember my kid would always say, three-teen and five-teen. If I wasn't teaching her right from wrong, I'd suggest she adopt onety too. Haha

Plastic Mancunian said...

Hi Grace,

I think onety sound really cute.

Onety, onety-one, onety-two, onety-three etc.

I might start a campaign.




Ryhen said...

Why do we still have apes if humans were supposed to have evolved from them?

Scientists say that mutations in genes allow succeeding generations of different species to evolve into different ones. I've been asking myself, where are the missing links? Has anybody found them yet? Anyway, a different theory proposes that the divergence of species is not caused by the ones that are already existing. How is this so? Well, animals can't produce offsprings with a member of a different species. So, a horse, will and should remain a horse forever. An ape, will and should remain an ape forever. The question then is, "Where did all the creatures on earth come from?" I know I'm not making sense. I guess that's the reason why we're here. To make sense out of everything even if life is filled with anomalies.

Plastic Mancunian said...

Hi Rhyen,

That's definitely food for thought. Creatures definitely evolve but, presumably, not all creatures of the same species evolve into the same creature. So a bunch of apes somewhere gradually lose their hair and become more intelligent whereas a bunch of apes somewhere else stay as apes. Interesting comment. I'll have to read up on this now.

Thanks for sparking my interest.