Welcome to what is now a sunny South Manchester. It makes a change because it has been raining a lot recently. For example, this morning I went on my usual early walk and it rained non-stop for the duration, which lasted an hour and a quarter. I was drenched!
It’s supposed to be June. It’s supposed to be summer in a week or so.
Sometimes I wish that I lived in Spain.
Let’s dive in and answer some silly questions from Sunday Stealing.
It’s a bit different this week because regular contributors have each suggested a question, myself included. And, yes, I think my question is the weirdest (as you will see).
1. Would you rather have every traffic light turn green or always get the best parking spot? (Kwizgiver)
I don’t drive much these days. If I’m honest, it’s because I don’t really like driving; I never have. However, when I do drive, I sometimes lose patience and feel the burning onset of road rage rising in my mind. This is aggravated by being in a hurry especially if the roads are busy with people who are just pootling along without a care in the world. Traffic lights add to this evolving frustration because, in my experience at least, the number of red lights you encounter is directly proportional to how much of a hurry you are in. Put simply, if you are late or in a hurry, you will encounter red lights all the time.
The answer to this question is therefore simple. I would always rather have every traffic light turn green.
2. What's the most difficult thing you have ever done? (Gold in the Clouds)
That’s also easy. The most difficult thing I have ever done is to climb the Sydney Harbour Bridge. I am terrified of heights and I had a moment of utter insanity and agreed to do it. Here is proof:
3. What information do you know that you are proud of/happy about, but others say, "Who cares?" (Roger)
This is a tricky one. I guess it has to do with sport and the football team I support. My team is in the fourth tier of English football and they are called Walsall. When you decide to support a team you hand over your soul to them, and I did just that when I was six years old before I knew any better.
The result is that I support a really bad team who barely win anything. The problem now is that I live in a city that is surrounded by teams that are far more successful than my team. You may have heard of Manchester United and Manchester City. And when I discuss football with supporters of these teams (and other more successful teams), I always try to express my enthusiasm for Walsall. Do they care? Absolutely not. I usually get laughed at or told “Manchester United are one of the biggest clubs in the world. Who cares about your shitty team?”.
I do – sadly.
4. What mystery do you wish you knew the answer to? (Myra/Mevely)
Another tricky question because I love mysteries, especially weird ones. I think to be honest it would have to be an answer to the question:
“Do aliens exist and have they been visiting planet Earth?”.
I am not one of those people who fervently believe that aliens exist and that UFOs really are of alien design. I just want to know. As a science-oriented person, the truth is that the evidence supports the theory that aliens and UFOs do not exist and that there is a logical explanation for some of the things that people have witnessed in the past 80 years or so. Yet some of the things I have seen on TV programmes are truly bizarre and you could argue that there is something out there.
It would be nice to know for sure.
5. What small, ordinary thing brings you disproportionate joy? (Country Dew)
The World Cup has started and I am looking forward to spending a lot of time watching the games on TV, especially when England are playing. Whenever I sit down to watch TV, one of the cats usually sits next to me, almost glued to my left leg like a limpet. On my right will be a table where I will either be sipping a large mug of decaffeinated tea or, if I am feeling a little naughty, a glass of beer. This particular scenario will bring me a lot of pleasure in the next couple of weeks, especially if Mrs decides to join me (she doesn’t really like football) and, of course, England win.
6. What time do you go to sleep/wake up? (Annie)
My smartwatch nags me. It tells me when I have to stand up, how many calories I have burned and that my goals (which it decided) will not being achieved unless I pull my finger out. It also nags me around bedtime telling me that I should consider going to bed. If I don’t get eight hours at least (again decided by the watch) then it nags me.
As a result of this I have tried to placate the bloody thing. Consequently I go to bed about 11pm to 11:30pm usually and I wake up roughly seven and a half hours later.
7. What is your favourite sleeping position? (Lisa)
I usually sleep on my right side because it usually helps me get to sleep more quickly. However, when I wake up my position can vary. The only position I can’t sleep in is on my front.
8. Describe your personal Utopia. (Pandora)
I have this fantasy of becoming World President and banishing all odious people on a one-way flight into space to discover a new planet for themselves (but not the rest of us) to live on.
My personal Utopia would be a world where all such people do not exist on the planet. That means no Donald Trump, Valdimir Putin and all the other political arses who cause so much chaos in the world. I want a world where everybody gets on and countries welcome visitors with not a care where they came from and everybody is totally free with no oppression whatsoever. It would be nice to have a transporter device such that if anybody starts to show Trump-like qualities then their punishment will be to be beamed onto the fleet of spaceships looking for planet Arse.
9. Imagine that you have a machine that can create any new invention for you based on your description. What you ask the machine to create, and why? (Plastic Mancunian)
I told you that my question is the weirdest.
I would ask it to create a time machine for me. This time machine would be indestructible and have all the comforts of home and would be able to take me anywhere or anywhen. To be honest, I would use it initially to go to the future and see what technological innovations have been created in the decades to come and where we are with space exploration and the like. When I am satisfied with that I would then pop to the past and perhaps observe the shenanigans of divisive historical figures like Henry VIII or maybe pop to Ancient Rome and spend a day strolling around talking to normal Roman people.




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