Travel Questions

 

Welcome to a very sunny and hot South Manchester as we prepare ourselves for a heatwave that will almost certainly smash the record temperatures in the UK. The current record stands at 38.7 degrees Centigrade (101.6 degrees Fahrenheit) which occurred in Cambridge in 2019. 

On Monday and Tuesday, the temperature in London is predicted to exceed 40 degrees Centigrade (104 degrees Fahrenheit) – something that is unprecedented in the United Kingdom.

This will be the pinnacle of two weeks of madness in both my life and that of the United Kingdom. Let’s start with my country. 

We all finally had enough of the clown/scarecrow hybrid that was masquerading as the Prime Minister and so, finally, it turns out did his own party. The government started resigning en masse and a week ago last Thursday the idiot finally resigned, although he still seems to be Prime Minister because he is trying to cling on to power like the lying leech that he is – at least until September – though I hope sooner.

This means that his Conservative Party are having a leadership contest to find the next liar who will take his place. All of the candidates (there are currently five of them) have in the past supporting the clown and now, in their campaign speeches are claiming that they are going to “fix” Britain. 

Britain is broken in their eyes (understatement of the century) and they claim it has nothing to do with their party or themselves. The idiots have been in power for TWELVE YEARS! They bloody well broke it – especially with Brexit. 

It makes my blood boil.

It is little consolation that Boris Johnson, the worst Prime Minister we have ever had, has now gone because I want his party to go too. I could go on with my reasons but I won’t bore you anymore.

On a personal note I have been to Belgium – Bruges and Brussels – and I thoroughly enjoyed it – until, that is, I came back with a little gift – Covid-19.

Yes – that’s right! Having successfully avoided Covid-19 for two and a half years, it has caught up with me finally. I tested positive on Monday of this week and now, on Saturday, I feel a lot better, but still have a cough and am still positive. This is annoying because I am now going slightly stir crazy. 

I felt rough on Monday and Tuesday but I have improved a lot since then and all I want to do is go out. I can’t – which means I will miss a cricket game tomorrow (also annoying). I have to wait for two clear days before I can join the land of healthy people again.

Back to the temperatures, it seems that in Manchester the record we have had is 33.7 degrees Centigrade and on Monday/Tuesday that will reach 36 degrees Centigrade. So maybe it is a good thing that I can’t go out (I wouldn’t anyway because I will be working from home anyway – despite Covid-19 if I still have it).

Phew – after all that – shall I answer some questions from Sunday Stealing? 

1. To which countries have you been?

(Deep breath):

Argentina, Australia, the Bahamas, Barbados, Belgium, Brazil, Canada, China, Croatia, Czechia (formerly Czech Republic), France, Germany, Greece, Hong Kong, Hungary, Iceland, Ireland, Italy, Japan, Macau, Malta, Monaco, the Netherlands, Oman, Portugal, Russia, Singapore, South Africa, Spain, Switzerland, Thailand, Trinidad and Tobago, Turkey, United Arab Emirates, United Kingdom (of course), United States of America, Vatican City and Vietnam

2. Which countries would you love to visit one day?

Whether I will be able to do so I don’t know – but here is a list off the top of my head:

Andorra, Austria, Bulgaria, Cuba, Denmark, Egypt, Estonia, Finland, Indonesia, Jamaica, Laos, Latvia, Liechtenstein, Lithuania, Luxembourg, Malaysia, Maldives, Mexico, Morocco, New Zealand, Norway, Poland, Romania, Slovakia, South Korea and Sweden.

3. Have been on a trip this year or have one planned for later?

Yes – I have been to Estepona in Spain and Bruges and Brussels in Belgium (hot off the press). The plan is to go to Greece in September and possibly Amsterdam in October/November.

4. What kinds of transport do you prefer to travel by? (train, car, plane,...)

I am not a huge fan of the actual travelling part of travel – i.e. getting there and getting home – but if you were to push me I would say train travel is best because it is quite relaxing.

5. Do you get yourself a souvenir to take home? If yes, what do you like to buy?

I used to buy fridge magnets but when we had a new kitchen, Mrs PM refused to allow them on the fridge – so there was no point collecting them any longer. I’m slightly disappointed to be fair but I guess it’s a good thing given that they are really overpriced tat.

These days the experience becomes memories and photos and that is enough.

6. Do you like to try local food? Can you recommend anything or advise not to try something?

Oh yes – unless I hate it. I am not a huge fan of That food so I had problems in Thailand itself, especially when we went for a Thai banquet in Bangkok. I managed to pick at the food and find something that was okay but the truth is that I was still hungry afterwards and had to have a street snack on the way home. 

I’m not a fan of seafood generally (especially shellfish) and people tend to warn me against that especially in hotter eastern Asian countries – I’ve seen some people suffer from them in the past. More often than not, though, the food is good. I will warn that in China and Japan you have to be careful what you eat – not because it is bad, but because you don’t know what it actually is. 

For example, in China I accidentally ate jellyfish thinking it was something else, and they love insects and pets too. My recommendation is that you take a phrase book into the restaurant and show them the food you want (for example, beef, pork, chicken etc.) and they will find something that matches for you. If you are not in a tourist area in China you will be presented with a menu in Chinese and waiters/waitresses who do not speak a single word of English. Your phrase book is your best friend.

7. Do you book your travel online or classical in a travel agency?

We usually book online these days. 

8. Name three things that you cannot go anywhere without and have in your suitcase.

I assume that you don’t mean clothes, passport for example (i.e. essentials). 

Phone, books and music. 

9. Tell about a funny travel experience you had.

I’ve shared a couple of these in the past – let’s think of another one. 

Ah yes – America.

I love America but I think that there are some Americans who don’t really know too much about the United Kingdom – but they think they do.

I was in a house in Cleveland at a party and I was constantly being asked questions by the good folks at the party and some of the questions were rather weird. Here are some of them:

“Do you have microwave ovens in England?” - The answer of course is, yes! We invented the computer and the internet, you know.

“Have you ever met the Queen?” - The answer of course is no. There are over 67 million people in the United Kingdom and she is just one of them.

“I went to London once and met a guy called John Smith. Do you know him?” – See previous answer.

“Why do English people sing in an American accent?” – Actually, that is a good question for which I was unable to provide a meaningful answer.

“Can you explain the rules of cricket to me?” – Yes:

The Rules of Cricket

You have two sides, one out in the field and one in.

Each man that's in the side that's in goes out, and when he's out he comes in and the next man goes in until he's out.

When they are all out, the side that's out comes in and the side that’s been in goes out and tries to get those coming in, out.

Sometimes you get men still in and not out.

When a man goes out to go in, the men who are out try to get him out, and when he is out he goes in and the next man in goes out and goes in.

There are two men called umpires who stay out all the time and they decide when the men who are in are out.

When both sides have been in and all the men have got out, and both sides have been out twice after all the men have been in, including those who are not out, that is the end of the game!

Do you understand now?

10. Tell about a bad travel experience you’ve had.

We were robbed in the middle of the night on a cruise on the Yangtzee River. In the same cruise, we had a rat in the room who destroyed all of our toilet paper and lived in the walls. To cap matters, Mrs PM had a stomach bug too. All three problems were resolved but it was an unpleasant few days.

11. What kind of accommodation do you usually stay in when you go on trips?

We usually stay in a half decent hotel. 

12. Have you ever traveled alone by yourself? Did you like it? If not, would you want to try it?

I have never been on holiday on my own but I have travelled to foreign places on business. Perhaps the most boring was a trip to Moscow in the middle of winter, where I stayed in a town about 40km from the city in temperatures of -20 degrees Centigrade with just myself for company. I did manage to get to Moscow itself at the weekend and explore the city armed with long johns, three layers of clothes, hat, gloves, big boots and a coat that doubled my weight. I had a lovely meal in a Mexican restaurant before I had to go back – but it was quite good to explore the snowy, icy city on my own.

I prefer company though.

13. What is the first thing you do when you arrive at your destination?

Usually we dump our stuff into the hotel room, get changed quickly and get out exploring.

14. What kinds of activities do you like to do when you are traveling?

We like to explore, relax and sample the local customs and food. Sometimes we can be like stereotypical tourists and I don’t mind that. Mrs PM is braver than I am and usually tries to drag me off the beaten track to see more of the hidden country.

15. How do you like to spend your vacation? (on a cruise, backpacking, etc)

I’m not a big fan of cruises because I get stir-crazy and I think that the people on the boats are targets for overpriced trips that can be a little too touristy for my liking. I tend to prefer doing my own thing. Ideally a trip would involve exploring a new city with some relaxation involved too. I think my backpacking days are over – I’ve done that a few times in the past and it is tiring; I am too old now and want my own comforts.

16. Do you like to travel in your own country? If yes, can you recommend a place?

I love travelling in my own country. For those who haven’t been to the UK I would recommend:

London, Chester, York, Bath, Oxford, Cambridge, Cardiff, Edinburgh, The Lake District, the Peak District, the Cotswolds, Warwick (for the castle), Stratford-upon-Avon (for Shakespeare lovers), Cornwall, Liverpool, northern Scotland, North Wales and of course Manchester (if nothing else because I live here). 

I would also recommend Northern Ireland but I’ve never been there myself. That will change.

Some Favourites

Welcome to a cloudy but warm South Manchester, seven days after our incompetent and moronic government lifted almost all restrictions, despite rising infection rates. The argument is that the majority of adults have now been jabbed so you might well get the virus but will be spared the worst symptoms of the disease. 

So now we can all go to crowded pubs, crowded sports events, gigs etc, without masks and social distancing. 

The world is watching with interest.

As for me, well I am annoyed because I am self-isolating for the second time. 

We have this app on our phones for track and trace and if we have been within a certain distance of anybody who later tests positive for COVID-19 we are pinged and told to self-isolate for a number of days – a mini lockdown if you like, with the app telling us how long we have left. 

In June I was pinged to isolate for four days and this time it is six and I have four days left. I have no symptoms but I am stuck in the house and, being a sensible chap, I will remain stuck in the house until Wednesday morning when I am liberated. 

A lot of people are being pinged at the moment and the media are referring to it as the “pingdemic” – it is crazy because in many ways it is because of the freedom that has been bestowed upon us by our clown leader that so many people are having to lock themselves down again.

Still – never mind. Let’s answer some questions from Sunday Stealing shall we? This one’s about favourites and I have had to go through and correct the American spelling “favorites” to the British spelling “favourites”. 

I am pedantic that way – a little OCD I guess. 

1. Your favourite songs

There are far too many to mention in a short post like this – I could write a book about them all. Instead, I will list three of my current favourites for you.

2. Your favourite bands

My all-time favourite band is Rush, the world’s greatest progressive rock band, now sadly no more. My current favourite band is Riverside, a progressive rock band from Poland but there are loads of other bands from all over the world in many genres that I love. I could write a book about that too.

3. Your favourite actors or actresses

I wouldn’t say that I have a favourite actor or actress but a few keep cropping up in favourite films. Despite being a weirdo, I actually think that Tom Cruise is a good actor as is Brad Pitt, Robert de Niro and Al Pacino. I also have to say that I love Clint Eastwood too – and Samuel L. Jackson.

As far as actresses are concerned, I like Scarlett Johansson, Cate Blanchett, Helen Mirren, Charlize Theron and Natalie Portman – there are many more to be honest.

4. Your favourite books

I love spy thrillers and espionage, for example those written by Robert Ludlum. I am also a big fan of classic and contemporary science fiction, for example H.G.Wells, Peter F Wilson, Stephen Baxter, Dan Simmons and Blake Crouch. You can't beat a good horror novel either, for example Stephen King, James Herbert, Graham Masterson, Brian Lumley, Dean Koontz. Finally, I like a good comedy novel though I haven’t read one for ages. “The Throwback” by Tom Sharpe is my all-time favourite in this genre and I made a complete idiot of myself on a long haul flight once, laughing raucously and uncontrollably while people were trying to sleep around me. It is hilarious – very British – but whether it will appeal to Americans I don’t know. I think Australians would get it.

5. Your favourite movies

I am such a geek when it comes to movies. I love superhero films and science fiction – the Marvel and DC films have been amazing recently (well some of them have). Give me a StarTrek movie and I am happy – though I can easily tolerate Star Wars too. I love action thrillers too, like James Bond, Jason Bourne and similar. I’m not a huge fan of horror films, bizarrely – I prefer books. I find a lot of comedy films a bit hit-and-miss to be honest. Some are brilliant (like Shaun of the Dead and Planes, Trains and Automobiles) but others I just don’t get – particularly some American comedy movies.

6. Your favourite TV shows

There are too many to mention but they are similar to films. I like a good comedy show (Blackadder, Curb Your Enthusiasm) and a good science fiction series (Dr Who, Star Trek, Babylon 5, The Expanse). Other favourite shows include (off the top of my head) Dexter, Game of Thrones, Lucifer, Vikings, Stranger Things and many many others too numerous to mention.

7. Your favourite foods/drinks

I love Italian, Chinese, Indian and Mexican food – anything really apart from Thai which has a taste that doesn’t really float my boat. To drink, I love tea and fruit juice, though I drink water and coffee too. Alcoholic delights include beers (ales, lager and continental beer such as Belgian, German and Czech beers) and wine, both red and white (though I prefer red and I don’t like dessert wines).

8. Your favourite kitchen appliance

What a strange question. I don’t think I have ever been asked what my favourite kitchen appliance is. I would have to say a Microwave Oven because I am fascinated with the effect it has on food.

9. Your favourite animal

I love both dogs and cats. Unfortunately Mrs PM prefers cats so that’s what we have. In my life I have lived with two dogs and ten cats. The current two are black one year olds called Ziggy and Star(dust).

10. Your favourite scents

I like most perfume that women wear but I don’t like having it sprayed into my face by over-zealous shopkeepers in department stores. 

I love the smell of freshly mown grass (as long as it isn’t in June because that’s when my hay fever kicks in). 

I love the smell of food cooking, particularly bacon. 

The smell of the British countryside in summer is also amazing. 

11. Your favourite things you do in your free time

I like to do something constructive most of the time. Currently I am still trying to teach myself Spanish, I am reading a lot of books about creative writing, as well as writing daily (mostly utter garbage but at least something is pouring from my brain onto paper in cyberspace). I maintain this blog, of course and when I am feeling lazy I watch TV, read and play the odd computer game. I am a huge fan of music as regular readers will know so there is always music in my vicinity when I am at home (for example I am currently listening to a Queen song). I love to go to concerts too and I would have been at an open-air tribute band festival today had I not been self-isolating (my first gig since the pandemic). 

I love sport, particularly football and am looking forward to the new football season in two weeks. I also like cricket – which is where I was when I was in the vicinity of a positive COVID-19 victim, even though I was outside and socially distanced (the nearest person apart from my mate was about five yards away).

Finally of course, I love to travel and I am missing that more than anything.

12. Your pet peeves

I’m not going to rant about politics and the mess that our country has been in for 11 years because of the Conservative government we are currently suffering under – but that is one of them.

People who are late, people who are unreliable, nasty people, arrogant people, those who have reached their level of competence and managed to claw their way into incompetence making a mess of things and the people around them, psychopaths who have no empathy (and I know a couple of people like this), liars and people who think that the only way to resolve and issue is with violence. 

13. Things you collect

I collect CDs and music generally. I collect books too (in that I don’t throw them away which is much easier on a Kindle). I used to collect football programmes and I have quite a few upstairs in the loft that I won’t let Mrs PM throw away (though she has tried).

14. Things you like to swap

I don't think I would swap anything apart from contact details.

15. Places you've been

I’ve travelled all over the UK of course apart from Northern Ireland. I’ve been to the Republic of Ireland though. I’ve travelled on all continents apart from Antarctica and been to some memorable places like Russia, China, USA, Canada, Brazil, Thailand, Vietnam, Singapore, Australia, South Africa, Oman, the UAE, the Caribbean, Iceland, Japan and most of Europe. 

16. Places you'd like to visit

I’d like to go back to Japan and Australia. I would also like to go to New Zealand, Egypt, Morocco, Poland, Sweden, Norway, Denmark, Finland, Hawaii and other places too numerous to mention.

17. Classes you liked in school

I loved chemistry, physics and maths. I was less keen on English, French and German but if I could go back I would concentrate on those subjects more.

18. Crafts you would like to learn

I would like to be able to paint and also build things from wood. I am absolutely hopeless at both.

The Playlist

I have learned something about my relationship with Mrs PM during the year or so of lockdown and restrictions due to COVID-19. It is something that has surprised both of us. 

Over the past year, we have reserved a couple of hours on Friday and/or Saturday night to relax and just chat. Since we are locked down we cannot go out anywhere and so we just talk about life with the assistance of a glass of wine or a beer. 

We used to do this before lockdown in a pub or a restaurant and the one thing that we needed at home was some background music. Usually in a pub, you have no choice about the music that is playing in the background and, as you can imagine, the pop music that plays in these places is not my favourite. I tolerate it because I have to.

Home is a different matter. This is my home and I want to control the music. Mrs PM has the same outlook – she wants the control the music too.

The problem is that our tastes in music are poles apart. She likes dance music and all manner of modern pop music that I despise. I like older pop music and rock music, including progressive rock, heavy metal and basically (as she calls it) “weird music”.

There is no overlap. Here is a Venn Diagram illustrating the music we have in common.

I have all of my music stored electronically on my laptop and I still buy CDs because I want to own it. Mrs PM is transient in her taste and when she hears something she likes, she plays it to death and then discards it when she is fed up of it. She used to buy CDs and then commit an act of pure sacrilege that I can barely bring myself to type – she GIVES AWAY HER CDs. She thinks that I should do the same. 

I know – it’s incredible.

Now she has decided that she won’t buy any more CDs and has taken up a paid Spotify account. This is good for her and I also considered it but for reasons that I am not going to go into now, I decided against it. I have a free Spotify account that I sometimes use to discover new music which results in me buying the CD eventually.

We decided to treat ourselves to a Sonos speaker, a wireless device that you can speak to with Google Assistant and will allow us to set alarms, ask questions, and most importantly play music from Mrs PM’s Spotify account, opening us up to a vast database of music.

If only we could agree on what music to play, given that it has to live in the overlap in the Venn Diagram above.

One Friday, we decided to attack this problem head on. Our discussion was; “What music can we possibly have in common?”

At first we took the tentative steps down the path. 

MRS PM: Do you like Britney Spears?

PM: (having eventually stopped laughing) Of course not.

MRS PM: How about Rihanna? Or Madonna?

PM: NO! I hate them. Oh hang on – there are a couple of Madonna songs I quite like. 

This one:

That was a start. I asked about classic progressive rock and she agreed that this song was good:

That is two songs in common. Over the weeks, we have chatted about music for the first hour or so, popping songs onto the Sonos and either adding them to a Spotify playlist or discarding them. Both of us have been willing to experiment and listen to suggestions and it has only bloody well worked. 

We have built up a considerable playlist of music that we both actually like and this includes, broadly, 1970’s disco, some glam rock, 1970’s David Bowie, 1980’s electronic pop music, ELO, Depeche Mode, Gary Numan, some Nine Inch Nails, one heavy metal song by System of a Down, Some Simon and Garfunkel, one Rush song, early Elton John, Blondie, The Police, Roxy Music, Muse and many many more.

We have between 250 and 300 songs that we can both listen to in the background without either of us complaining. And we are adding more each week.

That’s incredible.

We are both delighted because we can take this playlist with us on holiday or on trips and chat over background music that doesn’t leave one or both of us screaming “For crying out loud TURN THAT CRAP OFF!”

Here a couple of songs from the list to finish off.

The moral of the post is - you can always find common ground and something to agree on.

The Peeping Tom

 

Part of my daily pandemic routine involves getting up on a normal working day and, after feeding the two demanding young cats that are my new masters, I go for a three-mile walk. This happens at roughly 6am in the morning when most sane people are asleep in their warm beds dreaming of a time when the world isn’t being ravaged by a nasty virus.

In the winter months a walk can be an unpleasant experience; it is dark, cold and sometimes pouring with rain. You may ask what the appeal of subjecting myself to the cold and hostile elements of Manchester at 6am in January can be.

I ask myself the very same question.

However, at that time of day, whether it is January or March, it is really peaceful. There are very few cars and people around and the streets are calm and quiet. I remember that I used to love walking the streets doing a morning paper round as a kid for exactly the same reason.

I can walk along, drift into my own little world and contemplate life, the universe and everything, while at the same time getting some exercise. Sometimes I am accompanied by Mrs PM, other times I am on my own with just my iPod for company.

It is blissful, even when it is raining.

There is one downside though and try as I might, I find that I cannot avoid it.

I sometimes feel like I am a Peeping Tom.

Okay, I can imagine that you are considering clicking the little X in the corner of your browser window now and the one thought that is running through your head is “I didn’t know that this man was such a bloody pervert!” and imagine me creeping up to people’s houses to peer into their window with a lecherous and leering look on my grinning face.

You are 100% wrong.

Allow me to explain and hopefully put your mind at rest. As I walk along the street in the darkness of a cold, winter morning, I find my gaze drifting towards houses and seeing no lights in most of them because people are in bed. Sometimes, however, I see the odd bedroom light on. On other occasions, people are up and about and downstairs lights are on.

In almost all cases, the people concerned value their privacy and keep their blinds, shutters or curtains closed.

Sadly, there are those people – let’s call them exhibitionists – who want to let everybody outside know exactly what they are doing. These people open their curtains, blinds or whatever, switch on their lights and then, for reasons I have yet to fathom, do whatever they need to do in full view of anybody who happened to be walking outside their house.

I am very paranoid about allowing people to stare into my house when it is dark outside. My curtains and shutters are closed as soon as the sun sinks behind the horizon and they remain so until I am fully dressed and sun has popped up again. 

The last thing I want to see is a person – any person – gazing into my house as I go about my business. 

Now I can imagine another thought going through your head dear reader – “What on Earth are you doing in your house that you don’t want people to see?”

The answer is “Nothing – of course!” What do you think I am? I am just a normal geezer and I am nothing like this bloke or any of the people he spies on:

Call me weird if you like but I like my privacy.

And this is why, when I see these people opening themselves to the world for all to see at 6am on a dark winter morning, I think they are peculiar.

Why would you do that? 

And I can now guess that thinking – “Well, Peeping Tom, you don’t HAVE to look.”

And you would be right (except for calling me Peeping Tom). I don’t have to look but I find my eyes subconsciously drawn to any light source at that time of the morning. I’m not even aware that I am doing it until see somebody eating his breakfast staring back at me. 

In my head, I am miles away on a voyage through my imagination thinking about budding novels about vampires, aliens and space wars. The last thing I want to see is an old bloke eating his cornflakes in his pyjamas.

When this happens, I have a deep urge to march up to his window and scream “Shut your bloody curtains, man! Nobody wants see you chomping on your toast in your jim-jams you bloody weirdo!”

Of course, I don’t do that and you will be pleased to know that I avert my eyes from these exhibitionists as quickly as possible.

They can ruin my walk. I am brought crashing back to reality, away from the space opera in my head and as I continue, I have to start again and expunge the image of the old so and so from my brain, lest it remain there and ruin my creativity.

Thankfully, it is now March and as I take my walks, my eyes can be drawn towards the rising sun and the wonderful dawns that appear instead of electric lights showing people getting dressed. 

They are much more wonderful as you can see here from a photo taken late last week.

When I am World President, exhibitionism will become a crime and anybody caught revealing the insides of their homes at 6am on a British Winter morning will be confined to their houses throughout summer with their blinds, shutters and curtains nailed shut. 

Apart from that I shall be a benevolent leader – I just don’t like exhibitionists.

Coronavirus Part 3

Welcome to a cloudy South Manchester on day 344 of restrictions. It looks like we are going to go for a complete year under some form of restrictions before things get better. We are still in full lockdown in the UK but there is talk of slowly lifting them over the coming months. With vaccinations in full flow, it shouldn’t be too long hopefully.

This week’s Sunday Stealing once again tackle the topic of Coronavirus so let’s just dive in head first shall we?

In the past year have you–

1. Gone without a bra (Plastic Mancunian & Bud may skip this one!)

I won’t skip the question because I think you all know the answer. I can safely say, with my hand on my heart, that I have gone without a bra for the past year. In fact I will go further – I have never ever worn a bra. I hope you didn’t think that I had.

2. Skipped making your bed.

No. One of us always makes the bed (usually the last one to get out of it). 

3. Ordered groceries to be delivered

I am not a fan of having groceries delivered because, more often than not, the supermarket messes up the order. They either substitute things with inferior versions, completely forget an item or completely mess things up. Mrs PM would order groceries to be delivered if it was up to her but I moan so much when they mess things up (every single time) that we actually make the journey there. Also, I often remember things when I am in the supermarket that I would have otherwise forgotten. Covid or no Covid – it is better to go to the shop.

4. Cooked a real meal

Absolutely. Mrs PM in particular has been experimenting with new recipes and she actually enjoys trying new things out. Last week, for example, she made pizza for the first time. I was absolutely astounded by the result – amazing.

5. Spent the day in pyjamas?

No. I like to get dressed as soon as I get up, lockdown or no lockdown. Besides, I usually start the day with a at least a 50 minute walk and I don’t fancy being seen in public in pyjamas.

6. Skipped shaving your legs

I can say, with my hand on my heart, that I have never shaved my legs. One thing I did shave was my beard. On Januarys 1st, I shaved it off because I was fed up with it but, on Mrs PM’s insistence, I have grown it back again.

7. Spent hours on Instagram or Pinterest

In 2020 I took a photo a day but didn’t put anything onto Instagram. In 2019 I added a photo to Instagram every day. This year I haven’t taken many photos or added anything to Instagram, but I think I might pop some of the better ones from 2020 on there. My photos are usually of things and scenes rather than people. 

As for Pinterest, I occasionally dabble but not often to be honest.

8. Eaten in a restaurant

Yes. In summer, were subject to restrictions but pubs and restaurants were open (though under strict rules of social distancing and other precautions), which allowed us to have a couple of meals out. It is one of the things I miss most.

9. Skipped washing your hair.

In the early days of the lockdown, before I bought some clippers and allowed Mrs PM to cut my hair, it grew quite long. Regular readers know that I hate my hair, especially when it is long and one of the only ways to bring it under control and make it more manageable was to skip the occasional day washing it. If I wash it and it is long it explodes outwards but if I just wet it, I can keep it flat. 

Now Mrs PM cuts it fairly regularly to keep it under control so I wash it every day.

10. Not folded the laundry

I always fold the laundry.

11. Worked a puzzle

I work in IT so I am confronted by puzzles every single day of the week. Outside of work I do like to have a go at puzzles too, like crosswords for example. So yes, I have “worked a puzzle” (although I have never heard that phrase before; it must be American).

12. Had Zoom calls

Yes – most recently last night with my two sons. Of course we have regular meetings at work too (although we use Microsoft Teams instead of Zoom).

13. Written letters.

No. I haven’t written a letter for decades. I have sent emails though. 

14. Binge watched a TV show

Yes – and I continue to do so. I am currently trawling through “The Expanse”, “Mayans MC”, “Travellers” and “Lovecraft Country”.

15.Gone barefoot

Only in the house. I'm not a fan of feet - even my own.

COVID Questions

Welcome to South Manchester on a grey rainy day. Autumn is over and winter has effectively started which means short, grey and cold days that are normally buoyed by Christmas parties and celebrations as we head towards the big day. This year is different; no parties and the only celebrations are going to be a small one on Christmas Day itself. 

Still, the end of the pandemic is nigh as people are starting to be vaccinated here in the UK. They have started to vaccinate NHS staff and care workers and those over 85, the most vulnerable people and the people who care for others. 

Also, and this is true, the second person to be vaccinated was a guy called William Shakespeare from Warwickshire, the county were Stratford-upon-Avon is. Straford-upon-Avon is of course the birthplace of the bard. I am not making this up. I thought they were starting with the oldest people but I didn't know that we had a guy who was 456 years old. 

In other news, I have taken a chance and booked a gig ticket; I plan to see Steven Wilson in September – a little risky because we don’t yet know what will happen in 2021. Nevertheless I am going to take the risk because the worst that can happen is a postponement to a later date or a total refund if it is cancelled completely.

Talking of pandemics, the questions from Sunday Stealing are all COVID related so let’s launch ourselves into that COVID space, shall we?

1. Day 1 of serious isolation behaviour:

The company I work for had the foresight to close the office before the UK-wide lockdown occurred on March 23rd of this year. I began working at the desk where I am typing this on 16th March and have been doing so all year. The first thing that I did was get into a routine, a habit that I have kept up throughout the 274 days (so far) that we have had to suffer lockdowns and restrictions. And to be honest it has kept me sane. The good news is that with the advent of three vaccinations (one approved already) I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. Hopefully I don’t have to put up with this for much longer. I am ever the optimist.

2. First trip you had to cancel.

We planned a trip to Palermo in Italy to celebrate Mrs PM’s 50th birthday with friends. We have another friend who was 60 this year and our trip in June was to celebrate both. We cancelled it, but this is just a postponement because as soon as normality is resumed, we will rebook the same trip.

3. Other trips cancelled     

Mrs PM and I had planned a trip to Brussels and Bruges but we shelved that idea as soon as the pandemic struck. We had also booked a trip to Estepona on the south coast of Spain; that had to go. Also, we were planning to go to Mykonos in Greece in September. Fortunately we hadn’t booked that so we just kissed it goodbye.

4. Last trip out of town before isolation.   

That depends what you mean by “out of town”. Our last trip abroad was to Skala in Kefalonia in Greece in September 2019. After that, we stayed in the UK apart from a trip to Blackpool at Christmas to see Mrs PM’s parents and to Delamere Forest near to Chester for a weekend away with friends in February.

5. Farthest from home since isolation.

In July and August, our restrictions were lifted enough for us to be able to visit friends in Chester (about 40 miles away) for a weekend. We have not been anywhere else.

6. Last Meal sitting in a restaurant before Isolation.   

There is a good Italian restaurant within walking distance of our home and we were allowed to eat out in October (just after my birthday) before the restrictions became really tight again. We had a very good meal. It was just Mrs PM and I (as we haven’t been allowed to socialise with other households since the end of July).

7. How many books have you read?

During the pandemic I have read about 15 books. 

8. First event you didn’t attend due to virus.

I was scheduled to see Whitesnake and that was cancelled fairly soon into the lockdown. 

9. Date and event of last over 200-person event.

I managed to see Delain in February. They are a Dutch symphonic metal band whose latest album, Apocalypse and Chill is one of the albums of the year.

Here they are in their full glory. 

10. Last live music event.

See previous question. However, I also saw the Wildhearts a week before Delain, a British rock band I have loved for years. Here they are:

11. Things you are eating more of since isolation.

At the beginning of the lockdown Mrs PM and I decided to relieve the boredom with cake and biscuits (cookies to Americans) to “treat ourselves”. The problem is that we don’t normally eat a lot of fattening food and, within a few weeks, I noticed the weight creeping on. So we stopped it. And now we eat normally, apart from the odd indulgence.

12. Things you are eating less of since isolation.

Nothing – as I said above, we are eating normally.

13. What restaurants have you gotten take-out meals from?

We’ve eaten Indian, Chinese, Italian and even ordered fish and chips to be delivered (something we have never done before). 

14. Have you found yourself bored in isolation?

Yes, as I said above. And I am still bored. We can go out and go for walks etc. but we can’t socialise, go to the cinema, go to the theatre or travel – the things that keep me going. What is keeping me going is the fact that I can now see an end to this – plus a little bit of inventive fun that I will mention in a more relevant question below.

15. Have you gained or lost weight?

I am exactly the same. As I said above, I gained weight at first and now I have stabilised. I actually weight slightly less than I did on January 1st of this year.

16. Do you drink alcohol?

Of course – I am British – alcohol is a way of life.

17. If so, more or less in isolation?

I have probably consumed more in lockdown to be brutally honest. However, I don’t drink on what I term as “school nights”, i.e. Sunday to Thursday inclusive (although I sometimes have a cheeky beer on Thursday). 

18. What entertainments have you explored?   

Mrs PM and I usually pop to the pub for a couple of beers/wines on Friday nights. Of course in lockdown, you can’t do that so we have basically created three pubs in our own house. The lounge becomes “The Black Cat” – named after our love of black furry felines. The room I am in becomes “The Warrior’s Arms” named after our Chinese Terracotta Warrior. Here he is:

In the summer, the back garden became our third pub, “The Cat’s Head” but that is closed now because of winter.

We have also binged-watched quite a few TV series.

19. Gotten into anything new?

Not really. I have spent a lot of time exploring potential new pastimes in preparation for retirement in a couple of years but not actually taken anything up yet. I plan to change that is 2021 when I am unleashed on the world again.

20. Have you done crosswords? Board games?  Jigsaw puzzles?

No. I like crosswords but board games and jigsaws are too dull for me. Mrs PM loves jigsaws though and has an app on her phone/laptop where she can spend hours with jigsaws. I just don’t get it. I would fall asleep within minutes. That said, I guess a jigsaw is a good thing to cure insomnia.

21. Have you cleaned out some cabinet, drawer, closet, etc. thoroughly?

Yes. We have cleaned out the cupboard under the stairs, the cupboard in one of the spare rooms and I have tidied up and cleared out my work area. 

22. Are you spending about the same amount of money?

Not really – we are spending less on average because there is nothing to spend it on. We can’t go out, it’s pointless buying new clothes and we can’t book any holidays. I guess one good thing about the lockdown is that I am actually saving money.

23. Done Zoom, Facetime, etc. meetups?

Yes. We have had many quizzes and chats. I quite enjoy quizzes and I have 58 years’ worth of useless trivia in my head, which means that I am very good. We have a quiz every Friday with work to end the week and I have won seven out of the last twelve of them. 

24. Had a social occasion with a small group of people you consider safe?

We only did this in July when the restrictions were eased. We had a couple of nights out with some close friends and, as I said above, visited some other close friends in Chester. I miss them all and I can’t wait to see them again.

25. Did you vote? In Person? On Election Day?

No because we didn’t have an election here in the UK. However, had I been an American citizen living in the US I would have made a special effort to vote the Orange Goblin out of office. Good riddance Donald Trump – the one good thing to pop out of this miserable year.

Coronavirus Part 2

We are now in day 20 of the Lockdown on Easter Sunday so it seems fitting to answer a few more questions from Sunday Stealing about the reason that we are in this situation – the Coronavirus.

Shall we dive in?

1 – What is something you are doing due to the pandemic that you normally don’t do? After the pandemic will you continue to so this?

Being a mild sufferer from OCD and a rampant hypochondriac I have been very carefully avoiding anything that could pass on the virus – like door handles, other people etc. Being in lockdown is a massive help to be fair although in the UK we can take daily exercise outside once a day. My exercise of choice is my usual one – a good walk. However, even that has been fraught with danger to Captain Hypochondria and Captain OCD. So I have been avoiding the periods of time when I think most people will be out and about.

My daily routine on a work day involves getting up at the crack of dawn (around 6am) and immediately going for a walk (about half an hour). I don’t even get into the shower first, effectively just cleaning my teeth and going straight outside – having got dressed of course (I wouldn’t inflict my undressed self on anybody).

My hair is, of course, an uncontrolled mess having not been beaten into submission by a shower so I walk our streets and the local park with a grim and stern look on my face (I am not the happiest person in the morning) in the hope that anybody else who might see me will avoid this weird looking angry alien with crazy hair. A win-win for all concerned.

The Plastic Mancunian on his Daily Walk

When I get home, Captain OCD urges me to wash my hands. I have done this so many times since the Coronavirus appeared that my hands look like they are made of leather. I have even resorted to using Mrs PM’s moisturiser to soften them.

Here’s a picture of my hands:

I will almost certainly start my day with a walk after this pandemic is over because it is the best part of the day to do so. I will also wash my hands more too – Captain OCD is winning that war.

2 - What made you happy, sad, or frustrated today? List, all big and/or small, as there may be some of one or all of these feelings!

I was saddened by the fact that we are three weeks into the lockdown and I see it lasting at least another three weeks.

I was frustrated by some irresponsible joggers once more struggling to understand the concept of social distancing during my walk.

I was happy to be home after an hour’s walk today to enjoy a little comedy on the TV while eating a well-deserved full English breakfast.

I am also quite content right now, writing this nonsense, drinking a large cup of tea and listening to this:

3- What is one of the first things you will do when the pandemic is over?

My eldest son and his girlfriend moved out a couple of days before the lockdown and we haven’t had the chance to see their new house. So I will almost certainly go to visit them – and then I will go to the pub to have a couple of beers with mates. Then I will look at booking a holiday somewhere.

4 – Are you an essential employee or do you know someone who is? Is this affecting you in some way?

I am not an essential employee but I do know three nurses who must be suffering at the moment. I feel for them every time I see news reports about what is happening at hospitals up and down the country.

5 – What are you doing to destress during this stressful time?

I’m not really that stressed to be honest with you. The greatest enemy at the moment is boredom. Obviously I have Mrs PM for company which keeps me occupied most of the time but I am also relying on the introvert within me to help relieve the ennui of being stuck at home. There is plenty of stuff to do, if I think about it, such as reading, writing, playing games, watching TV, trying to be creative, exploring the internet to find new music and revisit older music, as well as the more mundane things like cleaning, cooking, ironing etc.

6 – Have you tried any new recipes during this time? Please share your recipe if you want to.

No – I hate cooking. When it is my turn to do this, I rely on my basic recipes rather than trying not to poison Mrs PM and myself. However, Mrs PM has been trying out a couple of new things from her collection of recipe books, the best one recently being a Mediterranean chicken and chorizo dish which was very tasty.

7 – Have you always lived where you do now? If not, how did you wind up in the place you currently live?

No. I was born in Walsall, an industrial town in the West Midlands, about 11 miles north of Birmingham and lived there for 18 years until I went to university in Liverpool. I lived there for three years popping back to Walsall during the summer before moving to Manchester where I have lived ever since. This is why my blog alias is The Plastic Mancunian because I am not a true Mancunian even though I have lived here for 36 years.

8- Where is the last place you visited on-line?

I would say You Tube in order to embed “Long Live Rock and Roll” by Rainbow into this blog post.

9- What is the nicest thing anyone has ever said to you?

Lots of people have said nice things all through my life so it is difficult to select a single one and elevate that to the position of “nicest thing”. I will tell you one funny thing though which was nice in a weird way.

I was in a pub in Liverpool with some mates about 15 years ago when a woman came up to me and grabbed my hand. She was a little inebriated and asked me if I was married. I told her I was in a deep and loving relationship and a look of sadness crossed her face. “That’s such a shame,” she slurred. “I would marry you tomorrow if I could. You are so gorgeous!”

I was shocked and my mates supported me by laughing their heads off. She turned to them and said “I’m serious!” before storming off.

My mates still mention it to this day saying "she must have had her beer goggles on when she said that!"

She may have been a little drunk but I thought it was a really sweet thing to say.

10 – Tell me about the last photo on your camera (phone or real camera or both!)

I took a couple of photos on my walk yesterday – the last one being this one of the River Mersey:

Alec Clayton's Questions

My hair is loving this lockdown. As you may have heard, we in the UK are locked down and can only go out for a little exercise once a day, for essential work and shopping for food and medication. My hair isn’t too long at the moment but after another couple of weeks it will require cutting and I can imagine that it will be a total uncontrollable mess by then and have a life of its own.

I might publish a photo just to cheer people up – but then again, maybe not although I could ask it to write a guest blog post.

In other virus news, Prime Minister Boris Johnson also has the virus and a couple of his cabinet have the symptoms as well as the Chief Medical Officer. Critics and cynics are arguing that he hasn’t been following his own advice. Maybe he thinks he is indestructible. Apparently his symptoms are mild so he can still “lead the country” from his isolated position.

Anyway, it’s time for some Sunday Stealing questions created by an author no less, called Alec Clayton. This means they may be tough.

I like a challenge – so let’s dive straight in.

1. If there's a personal god, what quality would you most like that person to have (and why)?

To me, a personal god would have to be one that is kind and forgiving and, more than anything else, can provide comfort and advice and one who doesn’t govern by fear, choosing to help people in need.

2. What's your death-row meal?

I would ask for the biggest and thickest steak that could be found, with a mountain of thick cut chips and several pints of the best British ale.

I know it’s bad for me but I wouldn’t care, given that I was on death row.

3. Assuming we make it through this outbreak with minimal loss of life, what do you think our big takeaway should be?

I am hoping that this pandemic gives each and every one of us a massive kick up the arse, especially our leaders and so-called betters.

In the UK we have seen some amazing acts of kindness and assistance and I know that such acts are being reflected by ordinary people all over the world. We all need to help each other and countries need to work more closely together instead of being bastards to each other.

I doubt things will change but we can hope.

4. Whom do you find yourself missing more than you would've predicted?

I’ve been in touch with friends and family but it’s not the same as being in the same room as them. At least I have Mrs PM to keep me sane.

5. What brings you the most joy? Not happiness, not contentment -- JOY.

There’s not an awful lot to be joyful about at the moment as the UK lockdown has removed most of the things that make me joyful.

However, usually on Friday, Mrs PM and I stroll down to the local village and have a beer or two and a meal – a kind of date night if you like. We obviously can’t do that at the moment, so we have transferred that experience into our home and for two hours we turn the lounge into a “virtual pub”. We share wine, put on some background music and chat over a meal. It is fast becoming the highlight of our week and adds a little joy.

There is always a way.

6. Do you find yourself regretting anything you've said or done on social media?

No. This blog is really the only thing I use to express myself in cyberspace. I have accounts on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook – but I rarely use them.

7. What are your favourite and least favourite things about your body and face?

As I mentioned above, I hate my hair. And my eyes are so bad that I can barely see without glasses.

However, a few women have told me that I have a nice arse (though why women like arses I have no idea) – so I will say that as a favourite.

8. and your life?

Far too many favourite things but I will give you as taste:

Expressing myself in words (even though I am not very good at it), travelling, football, music, socialising with friends, family, Mrs PM of course, the British countryside, movies, epic box sets, reading, learning new things, dining out, rock concerts.

Least favourite things:

Being stuck at home and not enjoying the favourite things I mentioned above, my career (soon to be over with any luck), chores.

9. How's the self-isolation affecting your libido?

No change. Why would it?

10. Which three places in the physical universe would you most like to visit?

Since space travel is unlikely to become a commercial business in my lifetime, I will stick to Planet Earth and the places I have never been to:

Scandinavia: Sweden, Norway, Denmark and Finland

New Zealand

Malaysia

There are also lots of places I would love to go back to.

11. On whom did you have a crush years ago? Have you ever told them?

I had a crush on these lovely ladies. I could never pluck up the courage to write them a fan letter.

Agnetha

Lynda Carter

12. How have your religious views changed since you were in high school?

I was raised as a Roman Catholic and was immersed into the religion from a very early age, reading the Bible (both New and Old Testaments) and listening to the stories and the life of Jesus etc. with a mixture of awe and, if I’m honest, terrible fear.

I was told by scary priests that we were tainted with Original Sin the moment we were born and were promised that we would spend the rest of our lives trying to atone for this and all of the other sins we would invariably commit as our lives progressed.

The punishment for failing to do this would be Purgatory or Hell itself where, for basically being a sinner for three score and ten years, we would be punished for the rest of eternity by Satan and his evil army or torturing henchmen.

I don’t like the idea of being governed by fear. That’s why I started to question everything. For example, what made St Paul so special? Why did God appear to Moses in the first place and ask him to save his people but then make sure that Moses never actually make it to the Promised Land himself afterwards having done all of God’s bidding?

It seems to me that God could appear to me and convince me very easily that he actually exists. Instead, we are asked to have faith and trust in something that has never manifested itself to anybody.

As a person with a scientific background, I need tangible proof and have yet to see it. The only evidence I can see are the words in a book that has been rewritten so many times that I imagine the messages have been changed, embellished and adjusted to favour the authors.

In conclusion, I have asked lots of questions, got no satisfactory answer and therefore stopped going to church. I know that religion plays a part in making people feel comfort and for that reason I would never argue with anybody’s beliefs, as long as they didn’t use those beliefs to kill, maim or suppress other people. Religion is important – but not to me. We’ll see what happens when I shuffle off this mortal coil. I may have some searching questions if there is an afterlife, the first one being:

“Where were you, when I needed you?”

Here is a nice little song about religion, sung with the tongue firmly placed in the cheek.

13. If you could change one law, what would it be?

I would make it mandatory for all politicians to hook themselves up to a lie detector when campaigning or being interviewed. If they were found guilty of lying, then they would go to prison for six months and never be allowed to stand for office ever again.

Perhaps it would do something about these two:

14. If you could add one commandment to the original ten, what would it be?

Thou shalt share thine wealth with those less fortunate than thyself if thou art obscenely rich.

Coronavirus

Things are very serious with Coronavirus now so it seems fitting to answer a set of questions about the subject from Sunday Stealing.

Let’s dive straight in shall we?

1. Has the COVID-19 affected your work environment?

Yes. On Friday 13th March, we had a briefing that told us that we can work from home if we choose. I chose to do so starting the following Monday. The company then decided on the following Wednesday that everybody except those who look after the IT infrastructure and deal with 24 hour support must also work from home. The company have two adjacent offices and one of them, the one I work in, has now been closed, the other one being closed to all but the absolutely essential staff I mentioned above.

Given that I work in IT and technology exists to accommodate home working, this is a no-brainer. I am bored at home, I have to admit, but we do have daily “stand up meetings” via software that ensures we can see each other face to face via our webcams, enabling each member of my team to get a glimpse of each other’s homes for fifteen minutes.

We also have an end of day chat which is less formal and geared more towards having a chat about general stuff, as we would over a coffee during office hours. This is being extended to the entire company at set times over the coming weeks so that we can pop in have a chat.

Sadly, Mrs PM’s company are insisting that she goes into the office, but she is a contractor and when the company is forced to send people home, we fear that she might be let go. This isn’t unexpected but for now she is driving to work every day and taking the usual precautions.

2. How are you feeling about the Coronavirus?

I am a hypochondriac with mild OCD so my anxiety levels are slightly elevated. I am trying to be pragmatic and following the advice to the letter, even though our wonderfully inept government have been dragging their feet until recently.

I have actually been washing my hands so much that they are drying out a little and I have had to use Mrs PM’s moisturiser to help a little.

Don’t tell anybody – that’s between you and I, dear reader.

What I do feel annoyed is that certain people think the virus will not get to them or that they are indestructible and if they do get it will survive as if it were just a bad cold.

Equally, I am annoyed at those who are panicking so much that they are hoarding and stockpiling at the expense of the most vulnerable people in our society. Worse, the people who really matter, like doctors, nurses, medical professionals and those who are helping to keep the country going, are struggling to get supplies because of the selfishness of idiots.

I heard yesterday that there is a shortage of freezers because people are buying extra ones to fill up with their ill-gotten gains from the supermarkets. I am quite angry about this.

3. Has anybody you know been tested / have you?

On the same day my company had the Coronavirus briefing, we discovered that a young lad was off with the symptoms. Three weeks earlier he had been to Italy on holiday. He returned on Sunday and was advised to self-isolate for 14 days. He did exactly that and then came back to work on Tuesday. He was ill the following Friday.

The problem is that we can’t be sure that he has the virus or not because the NHS is not testing people unless they are admitted to hospital. This means that the official number of cases doesn’t represent the true picture. The government have acknowledged this and given the official number plus the extrapolated number too – and that is much higher as you would imagine.

Stop Press: Mrs PM has an old friend from university who lives in Liverpool. The BHS helpline have just informed him that they think he has the virus. He won’t be tested until his symptoms become so bad that he ends up in hospital. Let’s hope that isn’t the case.

4. Do you have any friends stuck in any exotic locations?

No. Mrs PM’s dad was in Turkey until yesterday and had to be flown back to a different airport as flights were very limited to get back. He is back safe and sound now and is immediately self-isolating hopefully.

5. Have you changed any of your personal habits due to the pandemic?

Yes. I wash my hands a lot more and I haven’t been socialising with friends for a couple of weeks. I have been going out for walks to avoid cabin fever and observing the advice of keeping far away from other walkers. I fear that we will soon have to stop doing even that.

6. What is the craziest thing you've seen or heard about the outbreak?

Apart from nutters stockpiling things? People have largely been ignoring advice and still going to the pub and restaurants, although that too will now cease as the government has ordered all such establishments to close down.

A lot of people think they are invincible and are just not changing their ways. That to me is crazy.

I’ve also watched Donald Trump’s bullshit over the past few weeks, telling blatant lies to the American people and then getting experts telling the truth just a few seconds later. How can Americans believe the Orange Goblin any more?

Another thing I have seen and heard is that people have stopped drinking Corona Beer because in their minds it might actually be responsible for the outbreak.

That is almost as crazy as some of Trump’s bullshit.

7. Do you think our politicians are doing enough to curb the crisis?

My view on Trump in the US is above. In the case of the UK the answer is also no.

I have read a few reports over the past couple of weeks about the spread of the virus in mathematical and statistical terms and, since that was my main background at university, I understand what they mean. Western governments have not been following the advice until it is too late and the UK government is only now realising the seriousness of the situation. The actions in Italy, Spain and France have hopefully given Boris “The Clown” Johnson the kick up the arse that he needed.

Over the past week we have ramped up our response, closing pubs, restaurants etc, closing schools and tightening restrictions. I welcome this but we are, in my opinion (based on some of the reports I read) about two weeks too late. The good news is that sporting bodies, theatres etc. acted before this, so that we went some way to actually changing our behaviour before the government made it official.

Let’s hope things improve and we aren’t too late. News from Italy and Spain suggest to me that perhaps we have acted too late.

8. Have you stockpiled anything because of the crisis?

No. I have been angered by the behaviour of certain irresponsible individuals despite warnings from everybody. My son and his girlfriend said that they saw two people fighting over a box of eggs in the local supermarket last week.

As far as we’re concerned, Mrs PM and I have been doing the regular weekly shop as normal. We have enough toilet roll for a while, as well as other bits and pieces. My hope is that people will start to behave properly over the next week or two.

The bottom line is that the country has enough food, cleaning products etc. for everybody so hoarding them is doing nothing more than depriving the needy and the most important people we need to help us through all of this.

9. What do you think you will miss the most if you are subject to a lock in?

Probably going for a walk. I have been calling on the introvert within me to help me cope with working alone from home. Thankfully, I am quite happy in my own company and of course Mrs PM is here too. I will miss going to pubs and restaurants with friends but I can cope with that. I have enough to occupy my mind, I think.

Oh – and since the football season has been suspended I miss watching it on a Sunday afternoon. Also, the travel restrictions will almost certainly mean that our planned trip to Italy in early June and Spain in late June are cancelled. I have accepted that. We can travel when all this is over.

10. What is the weirdest rumour you've heard about the virus?

I think it probably has something to do with why people are stockpiling toilet roll. This is a respiratory illness and does not cause you to spend more time on the toilet.

Now I do know for a fact that some people eat toilet paper. Stick with me on this. I have lived with people in the past who I suspect of this weird diet. I go to the toilet in the morning and there is a full roll available for use. When I next go, about two hours later, I notice that there is one single lonely sheet dangling sadly from the cardboard. Only one person has been to the toilet during that time, my flatmate. I can only conclude that he had a breakfast of loo roll on toast.

How else would he have used so much? On second thoughts, don’t answer that.

11. Do you have a favourite meme about the virus?

This one:

12. Has the virus made you grateful for anything?

I think we are discovering that people can generally be wonderful (if you ignore selfish hoarders). We are seeing good deeds more and more as most people try to pull together during these tough times. I’m grateful for that, I applaud it and I hope that it changes people in the future.

13. Have any of your plans been upset by the outbreak?

Yes. I’ve had a couple of concerts cancelled and I guess that June will see another one cancelled plus two holidays. I would rather the outbreak be over though; we can go to gigs and holidays and socialise when all of this is over.

14. Are you planning do to anything different because of the COVID-19 outbreak?

Working from home, obviously and taking the time to sort out my life a little. There will be ample time for self-reflection over this period – and I mean positive self-reflection rather than trying to dwell on how bad it is.

Oh – and Mrs PM is having a spring clean starting next week so that will give us the opportunity to declutter (within reason).

15. What do you hope to see in six months time?

I hope that it is all over by then and that we can return to something like a normal life.

I am being quite realistic though and there is a chance that we will still be restricted (albeit not as much as now).

Once we have a vaccine, things will improve, although rumour has it that this won’t be for another 12 to 18 months. In six months time, we will at least know much more about the virus, how it is transmitted, how to mitigate its affects, how to mitigate the spread and, hopefully, have a massive long list of lessons learned, should there ever be another similar virus in future.

 16. Has the Coronavirus upset your mental health in any way?

As I said above, I am slightly more anxious as I succumb to several personal nemeses. They are:

Captain Paranoia – the person who tells me that nothing will improve and the future is bleak. No matter how careful I am I will catch the virus eventually.

Captain OCD – the person who tells me that I can catch the virus via my own computer because somebody else might have typed on my keyboard three weeks ago. He is also turning my hands into leather gloves thanks to all the washing.

Captain Hypochondria – the person who tells me that if wake up feeling a little tired, then I have COVID-19. If I have a slight headache, I have COVID-19. If I sneeze I have COVID-19. If I look at a person in the street I will catch COVID-19.

The good news is that I am a sensible and fairly clever chap, so I largely ignore these arseholes. They have been with me all my life and I am still here.

The three of them can just bugger off - and so can Coronavirus!