Welcome to a cloudy but warm South Manchester. I’ve just returned from a three day break with friends in the beautiful island of Anglesey in North Wales, where the summer weather smiled on us the whole time. It was lovely sitting and watching the sun set over the Irish Sea and star gazing at night time.
Obviously when I woke up each morning I was ready to seize the day so it seems fitting that this week’s Sunday Stealing hovers in an around the subject of morning feelings and rituals.
Let’s dive in, shall we?
1. What do you typically have for breakfast?
My breakfast depends on the day. Usually from Monday to Friday I am well behaved and have fruit accompanied by a nice hot steaming mug of decaffeinated tea. My fruit of choice is usually banana, apple, orange and perhaps a peach, nectarine or some plums.
At the weekend, I tend to be a bit naughty and have an omelette, sometimes on it’s own but normally accompanied by toast and a sausage or two. And of course a big steaming mug of decaffeinated tea and a glass of orange juice mixed with apple juice.
2. What was your favourite breakfast cereal when you were a kid?
I used to eat Cornflakes, Frosties (which are basically Cornflakes with crusted sugar), Weetabix or Sugar Puffs. In the winter, I would occasionally have porridge. I haven’t had porridge for decades, thinking about it. Mrs PM likes porridge in the winter so maybe when the cold weather comes I might try reacquainting myself with it.
3. Orange juice, tomato juice or cranberry juice?
I usually have orange juice mixed with apple juice as I said above. I hate cranberries so the thought of drinking cranberry juice at any time fills me with nausea. I have never fancied drinking tomato juice either (though I do like tomatoes).
4. What time is your alarm clock set for?
What is this "Alarm Clock" object of which you speak?
HA HA!
My alarm clock isn’t set at all since I retired.
Actually that’s not quite true because I do set it when I have something planned, for example, having to catch an early flight.
When I worked, the alarm clock was set for 5:55 am. I smile now when I think of this because at that time now, I am so deep in sleep that a wild gorilla couldn’t wake me up.
5. Do you have any tips for preventing stress and making the morning go more smoothly?
Yes.
Just retire.
Or go for a walk.
Since I gave up caffeine some years ago, I find that a walk will always wake me up.
When the walk starts I am like a shuffling zombie but, five miles later, I am wide awake and smiling – even when it is raining.
I do not miss caffeine at all. I have actually had it accidentally once or twice and the effect is quite startling. I can see now why people rely on it. The problem is for me that being wired is stressful so I would say just give it up – unless you like that feeling of course.
Welcome to a sunny and pleasant South Manchester where we are in the middle of a slight heatwave. We had temperatures of 30°C and more this week in Manchester which is about as hot as it ever gets here. Now, though, it is a pleasant 24°C on a Sunday afternoon.
Let’s dive in to Sunday Stealing with a set of silly questions.
FOOD
TWO foods you can't stand
1.Rhubarb. I am certain that rhubarb is either cultivated and grown in the deepest bowels of hell itself or is an extraterrestrial monstrosity that was planted by aliens intent on eventually taking over from humanity as the dominant species on planet Earth. I hate rhubarb so much that I can barely suppress the urge to retch when I see it. Horrible stuff.
2.Apricots. I recently accidentally bit into an apricot, thinking (stupidly) that it was a small peach. I realised my mistake within two nanoseconds and threw the whole thing away, while trying not to heave. Disgusting vegetation masquerading as fruit.
FOUR foods you love
1.Cheese. I love cheese so much that I have to try my best not to eat it all the time. There are cheeses that I am less keen on but 99% of them are wonderful. One of my current favourites for a treat is sold in our local cheese shop (and yes we do have one). It is called Harrogate Blue and I love it. At Christmas we get together with our next door neighbours for a cheese and wine evening and I am in heaven trying all manner of different cheeses.
2.Roast pork. If we go out on Sunday for a traditional Sunday lunch, Mrs PM always predicts that I will have roast pork with crackling on the side. She’s always right.
3.Mrs PM’s paella. Mrs PM decided that she was going to have a go at paella and it was the best decision she has made. She tries it with a variety of meat and vegetables but it is always amazing. She is allergic to seafood so we can’t always try it in Spain itself unless there is a meat one (which there isn’t always). But I love it.
4.Indian food. It took me a while to get into Indian food because I was never sure what to eat. However, I have a couple of Indian friends who have guided me over the years and now I know exactly what to have. We have a couple of Indian restaurants locally and they mic things up from the traditional Indian food you find in restaurants. I just love the spices – as long as they aren’t too hot.
PLACES
TWO places you never want to see again
1.Johannesburg, South Africa. I worked on a project that covered four airports in South Africa and the main computers were at Johannesburg airport and, being a key team member, I was the idiot who always had to stay in Jo’burg while my team mates got to go to places like Cape Town. And Jo’burg is a very dangerous place. I loved parts of it, like Sandton City and the people I met were wonderful. But I wasn’t really allowed to venture out because of the high crime rate.
2.Salvador, Brazil. Mrs PM and I started our Brazil trip in Salvador and as I was flying over, I read that this city was one of the most dangerous in Brazil We were staying in a tourist friendly area but when we arrived, the taxi driver was telling us where not to go because we would risk being robbed – if we were lucky. He told us that there were certain no-go areas even for the police. I liked where we stayed but to go again? No thanks.
FOUR places you'd like to revisit
1.Tokyo, Japan. Tokyo is absolutely enormous and I didn’t realise the scale of this magnificent city until I actually got there. We were there for three days and we only scratched the surface. I think if we had spent two weeks there we would still need to go back. And of course Japan itself is a wonderful place that I want to visit again.
2.Hong Kong. I have spent about 18 months of my life in Hong Kong due to lots of work trips and the odd holiday trip and I absolutely love the place. In fact, we are planning to go there early next year on our way back from Malaysia and I can’t wait. The longest I stayed there was three months and I loved being an honorary Hong Kong resident. I was sad when I left but I have returned and I will do so whenever the opportunity arises.
3.Nice, France. Mrs PM and I tend not to go to the same places in Europe more than once but Nice is one of the few exceptions. It is a beautiful city on the south coast of France that can be used as a centre to visit a lot of amazing other places, like Cannes, Monte Carlo and Antibes. We were there earlier this year and we are thinking of perhaps going again next year.
4.New York. I’ve been to New York twice and the first time I was basically shown around so quickly that I didn’t get a chance to really see the place because the woman who was our guide (a friend we were staying with) was scared of the place. This was back in 1989. However, Mrs PM and I went back for New Year in 1998/1999 and as intrepid explorers we just walked around ourselves. I felt perfectly safe and even wandered back to our hotel at 2am after visiting Times Square for New Year and an Irish Bar. We were there for four days and it wasn’t enough.
MUSIC
TWO musical artists who make you want to change the station
1.Justin Timberlake. Mrs PM went to see him recently and up to that point and for a while afterwards she has been incessantly playing his music. And his music, in my opinion, is dreadful. We have a joint playlist and there is no way on this Earth that Justin Timberlake’s music will get anywhere near it.
2.Kanye West (or whatever he calls himself these days). I don’t like hip hop at all but Kanye West is right at the bottom of the pile when it comes to hip hop artists I would give a chance to. Enough said.
FOUR musical artists you love to listen to
1.Steven Wilson is a British progressive rock singer and musician who is the main man in the band Porcupine Tree as well as having a successful solo career. As well as that he continues to work in two other projects called Blackfield and No-Man. He is prolific and as well as being a singer and multi-instrumentalist he is a producer and he remixes the albums of other artists. He is a man of many talents.
2.Devin Townsend is a Canadian progressive metal singer and guitarist who is very prolific. His musical style ranges from extreme metal to ambient electronica with quite a few genres ticked off in between. His vocal range is incredible, ranging from melodic vocals to screams and growls.
3.Riverside are a Polish progressive rock band who have successfully filled a gap that I missed since my favourite band, Rush, ended following the sad death of their drummer Neil Peart. They are my current favourite band. The singer/bassist is called Mariusz Duda and I love his songwriting style as well as his solo career and other project called Lunatic Soul. I've seen them a couple of times recently and intend to see them when they next venture across the English Channel.
4.Nine Inch Nails have been around for decades and their music has featured in a lot of movies. I saw them live this year and they haven’t lost anything. The raw anger from their earlier music was still there as well as the more subdued recent material. Trent Reznor is a genius in my view and is still going strong. The band are releasing a new album to run alongside the new movie Tron: Ares.
MOMENTS
TWO moments you'd like to erase
1.The entire Brexit campaign and Brexit vote. If ever anyone wants an example of ignorance, incompetence, lying, gullibility and stupidity, just study that whole campaign. It is the biggest mistake that we as a nation have ever made and it embarrasses me immensely. People just can't see the damage it has done and will continue to do.
2.The day that Boris Johnson became Prime Minister of the UK. I will say no more, lest I rant mercilessly.
FOUR moments you'd like to relive
1.The day that Mrs PM and I got together in Hong Kong.
2.This isn’t a real moment but I would like to relive some of my days at Liverpool University. It was one of the happiest periods of my life.
3.My trip to Japan (again not really a moment).
4.The day that I told my dad that I had passed all of my A-Level exams to gain me entrance to Liverpool University. He was so happy and I was delighted that he knew before he sadly passed away shortly afterwards.
I’ve delayed writing a post about Ozzy Osbourne because I only recently posted about his last concert in Birmingham and his former band Black Sabbath. The gig happened just a couple of weeks before his death and the timing is poignant.
Ozzy Osbourne was a unique individual whose lifestyle was so hedonistic that he even succeeded in shocking one of America’s most offensive bands, Mötley Crüe. Many were amazed that Ozzy managed to reach 70 years old, let alone 76.
He had a fine and unique voice, and it is reported that even though he was known as “The Prince of Darkness” and was perhaps one of the most outrageous rock stars in history, people who knew him and met him report that he was one of the funniest and kindest people you could ever know.
Here are some examples:
Ozzy grew up in an area of Birmingham called Aston which is about 8 miles from where I was born so I am familiar with the areas he frequented in his youth and the environment which shaped him. If you had heard me speaking when I lived in Walsall you would have been forgiven for thinking that I sounded like Ozzy. My accent was actually stronger than his and although I have lost my own accent now, Ozzy’s remained although in a slightly milder form and tinged with American.
As I said in my post about Black Sabbath I followed them even after Ozzy was sacked from the band in 1978 but I also followed Ozzy’s solo career, which thrived under the management of his wife Sharon.
I have to admit that I wasn’t a huge fan of the reality series “The Osbournes” but I did enjoy the bits where Ozzy was unintentionally funny. And he definitely could be funny. Here he is trying a Olivia Newton-John’s health drink:
I’ve read his autobiography, “I Am Ozzy” and I have to say it is one of the funniest books I’ve read. I even went to work dressed as Ozzy on a charity fancy dress day way back in 2010, complete with my impersonation of him.
I am saddened by his death, especially such a short time after his gig. It’s a shame and we have lost a national treasure over here in the UK. I’m impressed with what he achieved over his lifetime, especially since we were born such a short distance away from each other.
I’ll leave you with my favourite five songs from Ozzy’s solo work.
5. Perry Mason (from Ozzmosis – 1995)
This might be a slightly controversial choice amongst fans of Ozzy’s solo work but I think this is a great song. There’s just something about it that I like, perhaps the idea that this could actually be the theme song to a future Perry Mason series.
4. Shot in the Dark (from The Ultimate Sin – 1986)
This song reminds me of a great time in my life and that’s the reason that It is my number four choice. There was a lot of good music around at that time and it all brings back very fond memories.
3. Crazy Train (from Blizzard of Ozz – 1980)
When Ozzy was sacked from Black Sabbath it took him a while to recover but he came back with his first solo album called Blizzard of Ozz and this song is probably his best known solo song. I think it’s a great song. In fact an easy listening version of this song became the theme song to the Osbournes.
2. Let Me Hear You Scream (from Scream – 2010)
This song is an absolute heavy metal anthem and I think Ozzy’s voice is amazing in it. It’s a very heavy song and I absolutely love the chorus, which I sing along whenever it is on. “You’ll hear me scream if you don’t switch that off!” says Mrs PM. Result!
1. No More Tears (from No More Tears – 1991)
“No More Tears” is an absolutely amazing song. I love the menace it invokes, the bass line, the guitar and the way the song evolves as it continues, almost in a progressive way, with an orchestral section towards the end that sends a shiver down the spine (well in the full album version anyway). If you like the single version, definitely check out the album cut because it is even better.
And finally
Here is a beautiful song from the album No More Tears (that I guess can be classed as a power ballad). It is called Mama, I’m Coming Home and shows Ozzy’s voice at its best.
Welcome to a cloudy but sunny South Manchester where the weather is predicted to improve next week, which is great because I have a cricket match to watch on Monday.
Let’s dive straight in with some Sunday Stealing tomfoolery, this time in the form of alphabet prompts resulting in my sharing more of my inner weirdness with you.
Strap in folks!
A. Auto
My car is a boring grey Vauxhall Astra that I have had for a number of years now. It’s nothing special but it is reliable and rarely has a problem. We have two cars and, now that I am no longer working, my car doesn’t get used that often. It is much easier to get around the city using public transport and we are going further afield we tend to use Mrs PM’s car because it is more economical. I am therefore considering selling it and just using her car, or alternatively we could sell both cars and buy a new electric one. It’s all up in the air though and I can see myself still having the same car next year.
B. Bed size
We have a king size bed which implies that I am the king of my own house. However, I am actually the fourth most important living thing in my house behind Mrs PM and my furry overlords. Usually at this time of day, the two cats are sprawled on the bed fast asleep so it is really their bed until I decide to use it, at which point I find myself with a cat at my feet or lying in between us ready to wake us up at dawn for food. This is why I have banned them from the bedroom (unless Mrs PM objects – see what I mean? Fourth most important living thing).
C. Cats
As I said, we have two cats. Ziggy is a large male black cat and Star is his younger sister. We picked them up from a cat charity because they had been abandoned by an utter arse (I am moderating my own language here). There were three of them in a small cage dumped in an alleyway in the middle of winter. I have no idea how long they had been there but they were all very ill as a result. We would have taken all three but the third one was very ill and needed extra treatment. In the end the owner of the cat charity took her and she is happy in a house with about fifteen other cats. Ziggy and Star now rule my house and I am their slave.
D. Dogs
I had dogs as a kid and I really love them. Sadly Mrs PM is more of a cat person, even though I mentioned that we owned a dog and a cat. I miss having a dog.
E. Essential start to your day
Now that I am retired, I wake up naturally, apart from sometimes when Mrs PM wakes me up when she starts work. My first priority is to get dressed and go for a walk to wake myself up and get some exercise. My average walk length is about five miles per day and when I return, I have a shower and then a late breakfast.
F. Favourite colour
Teal is my favourite colour but I also like blue, green and red.
G. Gold or silver
I think silver looks better and I would rather have a silver watch than a gold one.
H. Hand you favour (righty or lefty)
I am right handed.
I. Instruments you play
When I was a kid, I played the trombone for five years because my dad thought that I would become a 1970’s version of Glenn Miller. Sadly, my taste in music developed to such an extent that the trombone wouldn’t fit into the styles I like. So I gave it up.
Now, I am trying to teach myself the piano and, although progress is very slow, I can actually play some simple tunes. I also have a synthesiser and as a separate project I am trying to develop a cover version of “Just Can’t Get Enough” by Depeche Mode:
I am about halfway through and my plan is to use a DAW (Digital Audio Workstation) to record it as an mp3. The synthesiser also has a Vocoder which means that I can try to add vocals. I haven’t played with that part of it yet so I am hoping that it can autocorrect my terrible voice so that it doesn’t sound like I am trying to strangle one of my poor cats. If I am happy with the result I may share it.
J. Job title
Retired. However, this time last year I was a Senior Software Engineer.
K. Kids
I have two kids with my ex-wife (although they are both adults now). One of them is 29 years old and the other is 32 years old. This make me feel really old. Mrs PM calls them “The Clones” because they look startlingly similar to me (the poor lads).
L. Live (rural, suburb, city)
I live in a pleasant suburb of South Manchester that has easy transport access to the city centre and various other districts of the city. It only takes about thirty minutes to be in the Cheshire countryside if I fancy a little taste of the rural life. I don’t think that I would like to live in the city centre though. Manchester is a wonderful place but the city centre is just a little too busy to reside in.
M. Meal plans
I don’t have any meal plans. We tend to decide roughly what we will have but not rigidly.
N. Nicknames
I’ve had a lot of nicknames over the years. Here are a few of them:
Snowy, Bagpuss, Joe 90, The Milky Bar Kid, Specky, Scrumper, Bricktop, Rambo, Mr Puniverse.
O. Overnight hospital stays
I have never stayed overnight in a hospital – nor do I want to.
P. Pet peeves
This is a subject for about five hundred posts so I will list just one or two.
First, all politicians. They are either malignant narcissists like Donald Trump or Boris Johnson or they are slimy liars. I am particularly annoyed by Trump and Vance at the moment but there are plenty all over the world who make me angry.
Second, the increasing role that social media is being abused by people in the world. If you read my last post (which you can read here) you will see that I have a bog problem with influencers – and they are just the tip of the iceberg.
I could go on but this will be a very, very long post so I will stop.
Q. Quote from a movie
R. Regrets
This relates to I above. I would have loved to have learned to play the guitar.
I would also like to be fluent in a couple of other languages.
S. Siblings
I had two younger sisters but sadly the older one passed away a couple of years ago. I still miss her. My remaining sister lives near to Harrogate and we try to see each other as often as we can.
U. Underwear
Yes – I wear underwear.
V. Vegetable you love
I wouldn’t say that I love any vegetable but I do eat a lot of carrots, broccoli, courgettes (zucchini in America), peas and sweetcorn. I am happy to eat other vegetables too and I am one of those weird people who actually like sprouts.
W. What makes you run late
Usually Mrs PM. I hate being late and she prefers to be “on time”, i.e. she runs the risk of being late. However, she has improved massively over the years and these days we are rarely late.
X. X-rays you’ve had
The only X rays I have had are at the dentist.
Y. Yummy food
I love most food to be honest. It would be easier to ask me about the foods I don’t like. I will say that these days I tend not to eat desserts but that’s not because I don’t like them.
I have a soundtrack song that skirts around the topic of this post. It is called #Addicted by my current favourite band Riverside, so listen along while you read (only if you want to of course).
I want everybody to be like me. I want you all to listen to the same music as me, read the same books as me and base your fashion choices on my own. I want you all to have the same beliefs as me and basically use my ideas as a philosophy for your future choices.
I want to influence you all.
Okay, let me tell you one thing about the words I wrote above: they are complete and utter bollocks.
My own belief is that everybody should be as individual as they can be. People are unique in this world and that’s exactly what makes humanity so brilliant on the whole. You never know what you are going to get when you meet a new person.
Having said that, it is perfectly fine to get ideas from people to enhance your own life. I do this all the time. However, I am not a good role model at all.
When it comes to fashion, I am totally inept. I have written about this before and if it wasn’t for Mrs PM I would wander around the streets of Manchester dressed like a sack of potatoes with legs, arms and a head. When I go shopping for clothes I am utterly clueless about what to buy. When Mrs PM and I first got together, one of the first things she did was to tell me (in no uncertain terms) what was wrong with my clothing choices.
My musical taste, while it skirts around various genres, is a little bit niche. I like popular music like rock and pop of course but the music that I really love has been described to me as “an acquired taste”. I have also been described as a “musical dinosaur” and I didn’t like that one little bit (as you can probably tell since I mentioned it in the first place).
The books I read are also very niche. I love anything really weird (the weirder the better), which means that I gravitate towards science fiction, horror and anything that is just – well – strange. The same goes for TV and movies.
Why would anybody be influenced by that?
About a year before I retired, I started looking at potential hobbies to keep myself busy and one of the suggestions made me laugh out loud. That idea was:
“Become an influencer”
What? At my age?Have you ever met me?
I have seen influencers in action in the flesh. I have seen people (mainly women) photographing themselves when they have bought new clothes, pouting in a way that would attract any fish with large lips. I have heard others (mainly men) bleating on about sports products and things to make them look like the latest Adonis and showing off their muscles in a way that makes them resemble a very poor man’s Arnold Schwarzenegger.
The idea of being an Influencer is that you end up with an army of followers who hang on to your every word, your every image (no matter how bizarre) and all of your lifestyle choices, which includes things like the restaurants and bars that you got to, the meals you have every day and all of your amazing ideas, no matter how crazy they are. When you have this following, you reap the rewards with advertising and in extreme cases, companies giving you things to try in the hope that you will praise them allowing the company to get sales indirectly from you.
I don’t want any of that.
I would hate to see a Plastic Mancunian clone following me to a restaurant dressed exactly like me and telling me how influential I am.
I am not influential at all. I use this blog to basically tell people what a weirdo I am, how incompetent I am and what an idiot I can be. And I welcome people laughing at my antics.
But to follow me and try to be like me?
You have to be kidding.
Equally I have no desire to obsessively base my lifestyle choices on a person I’ve only ever seen pictures of, who is really nothing but a gigantic show-off. For example I love rock music but I have never had the desire to pursue the hedonistic and debauched life style of some of my past favourite artists.
You can rest assured that on the list of potential retirement hobbies that I have compiled, “become an influencer” is not on there at all. Mind you, I am a self-confessed weirdo so perhaps there are older people out there who may be tempted to listen to my advice, wear the same clothes that Mrs PM tries to get me to wear, read the same weird books and listen to the same weird music. However, I like to think that anybody who is my age is so set in their ways that the very thought of being influenced by me is as hilarious as the concept of Plastic Mancunian himself trying to become an influencer.
Influencers just want fame and money for doing bugger all and I would never want to be one.
I say make your own choices. Don’t follow people – just be yourself.
Welcome to a dull South Manchester where it is raining slightly and, for summer, quite a chilly day. Hopefully normal service will be resumed for the weekend.
This post answers questions about blogging and just out of interest, I checked the number of posts that I have made. By lucky chance I spotted that this is post number 999 so my next one will be 1000. I have a couple of ideas for post 1000 and I don’t want to mention this milestone there – so I will do it now (since we are talking about blogging)
Some of the bloggers I have read are far more prolific than I am; I tend to post once a week on average. I am now retired so in theory I could improve that post rate and perhaps I will try in the coming months.
Before we dive into the questions (from Sunday Stealing as usual), I thought I would give you a little history.
I started blogging in March 2008, so this means my blog is 17 years old. That makes me feel old because I was a mere child of 45 years old when I first started posting this drivel into cyberspace and inflicting it onto poor people who just happened to stumble on it.
It was Mrs PM who encouraged me to start blogging because I was very tentative at first. There have been times over the years when I thought about giving up but I plodded on and now I am quite happy to continue. If nothing else, The Plastic Mancunian gives me an excuse to just write this garbage for people to read.
The bad news for regular readers is that I fully intend to continue to blog for the foreseeable future but before I go on I would genuinely like to thank everyone who has stumbled on these pages of rubbish and commented on the bizarre claptrap that comes from my brain. I will also continue with Sunday Stealing posts (because it is fun) but I will also try to post about the weirdness that pops into my head from time to time.
Poor readers!
I may just give the blog an overhaul though for my 1000th post to make it look more modern and fresh.
Watch this space!
Let’s dive in, shall we?
1. When are you at your blogging best – a.m. or p.m.?
I prefer to write in the morning when my brain is at its most fresh. However, I actually write posts at all times of the day, depending on what I have been doing. I am writing this particular post at 11:30 am so it will probably drift into the afternoon.
2. How many blogs do you have? Please include the links in your answer.
I started a photo blog called The Plastic Mancunian’s Eye with the aim of regularly posting a photograph but I stopped way back in 2012. It still exists and the link is on the right.
In the end I gave up with the blog because I found that I was posting photographs on this blog and I didn’t see the point of having two blogs.
I did consider starting a blog dedicated to the music I love and I may still do that. Perhaps I’ll call it The Plastic Mancunian’s Ear.
3. Do you prefer silence when you compose your posts and write your comments?
No. I listen to music.
This is the lucky song that is currently accompanying this post.
I love listening to music when blogging because it helps me to relax more and, perhaps paradoxically, helps the creativity a bit. In fact, some of my posts have been inspired by listening to music, whether it be just a song title or the meaning of the song.
4. What's the grossest thing you've ever spilled on your keyboard?
In my former job, I once spilled an entire cup of tea on my keyboard and had to have it replaced, which didn’t please the IT department. At home, I am fortunate enough never to have done anything so clumsy.
5. Ever posted while intoxicated?
Some people probably think that ALL of my posts are written while I am intoxicated.
The truth is that absolutely none of them have been written under the influence of alcohol. Almost all my posts contain drivel and nonsense and I can only imagine what they would be like if I were intoxicated. I would almost certainly regret them and remove them later.
Yesterday I went to Old Trafford to watch day three of the fourth test match between England and India. It was a perfect day for cricket and a couple of records were broken by England’s Joe Root with the bat.
We were in a stand where there were loads of Indian fans, including a very loud Bhangra band. The atmosphere was brilliant and we had a lot of fun.
The match is still going on today (test matches last up to five days) and I will be watching some of it later from the comfort of my own armchair.
Today’s Sunday Stealing questions look a bit trickier than usual. Let’s dive in and see if we can wrestle them to the ground, shall we?
1. You're on a trip taking a tour through the jungle. You have a backpack with some food, first aid supplies, a pocket knife, a flashlight and a couple bottles of water. Somehow, you get separated from your group. By night fall you haven't found your group and haven't heard them looking for you. How long do you think you would be able to survive on your own?
First of all, I wouldn’t take a trip in the jungle. I have a phobia of spiders and a lot of insects, particularly the ones that sting and bite. Also, I’m not overly keen on snakes and big creatures that can take a huge chunk out of my arm.
But let’s play along.
I’m sure that I would manage to survive for a short time and I would try to look for high ground or a water source. I’m an old git and I don’t think that would help my case either. That said, I am quite fit and I think I could manage to at least try to retrace my steps. That said, I’m no Bear Grylls so I think I might start to struggle when the food or water ran out. It also depends on temperature because I’m not very good in extreme heat.
I probably wouldn't last too long if I am brutally honest.
2. Do you think it's okay to lie to spare someone's feelings? Why?
Only if there is no way that you could be found out. I would rather tell somebody the truth than risk them finding out that I had deliberately lied to them, even if lying were an act of kindness. I hate it when people lie to me and, to me, trying to spare my feelings by lying is worse than just being open with me.
3. If a talking doll were made to resemble you, what 3 phrases would it say?
“Hi there! Are you okay?” is my standard greeting to people so that would be one of them.
“You’ve got to be joking!” is an expression that I use when I watching the news and something surprises me in a negative way (for example when most politicians open their lying mouths).
“Do you fancy a brew?” is a phrase I use at home or when I used to work to find out if somebody wants a cup of tea or coffee. However, I also use this phrase when inviting somebody out for a pint at the pub so it serves a dual purpose.
4. If the super power to be able to read minds at will was possible, do you think it would be... cool and helpful, intrusive and wrong, manipulative or maddening?
I think it would be incredible if I could read people’s minds and I would definitely use it when listening to politicians. However, even though I am a fairly nice, honest guy myself, I would hate to have my own mind read. Therefore I would have to concede that it would be intrusive, wrong, manipulative and maddening.
If I discovered that I had the ability to actually read people’s minds and couldn't turn it off, then I would try to get a job where it did some good, like exposing the bullshit of politicians or perhaps in some law capacity to discover whether a suspect had actually done something terrible.
5. Are drunk confessions things people can't bring themselves to say sober or just the crazy ramblings of an influenced and intoxicated mind?
That’s a very good question. I am quite a shy and sensitive person deep down and I rarely if ever expose anyone to my true feelings by confessing, even after a couple of beers. To be honest, when I have beer, I still like to have control of my feelings and it was only when I was a much younger person that I allowed that shield to slip under the influence of alcohol. For me, confessing something when drunk in my youth, was using alcohol to allow me to express my inner feelings by removing the barrier of shyness.
For example, at the tender age of eighteen, I once confessed my feelings for a young lady and was rejected in the nicest way: “I like you as a friend, Dave. Nothing more!”
That hurt and I realised that confessing with “Dutch courage” wasn’t a good idea. I stopped doing it for that reason.
Mind you, I have had people confessing odd things to me when slightly drunk and I can see why some people think that drunken outpourings are just the crazy ramblings of a mind clouded by intoxication. Nevertheless, the phrase “in vino veritas” (“in wine there is truth”) is still relevant and no matter how crazy the nonsense pouring from somebody’s mouth is when they are drunk, there must be some truth in there.
Welcome to a rainy day in South Manchester. Rain has been pretty scarce in some parts of the UK this summer so some people will welcome the rain. Some British people are a little weird when it comes to weather. When we have a wetter than average summer, they will moan about the rain and crave hot sunny days. And when we get hotter than average summers (like the current one) they crave the rain.
There’s just no pleasing some people.
Personally, I would be quite happy for warm sunny days and rain showers during the night while I am asleep. I hope you are listening, Mother Nature.
Shall we dive in with some well-deserved silliness from Sunday Stealing?
1. My bestie and I once ...
Before I answer this, I will just say that I hate the word “bestie”. It’s one of those newly invented words that are unnecessary. I understand that language evolves and that new words crop up, but why replace the two word phrase “best friend” with the cringeworthy word “bestie”?
I don’t have and never have had a “bestie”. But I have had “best friends”.
Okay – moan over.
My best friend and I once had a crazy brush with Scientology in Amsterdam.
At university, my best mate and I bought an Interrail ticket and set off for Europe. I will call him Wally to protect the guilty. Interrail tickets are basically used by people to travel across Europe by train and explore and this was my very first trip abroad. I was 19 years old.
We were about to leave Amsterdam to travel to Munich in Germany and we had an afternoon to kill. As we were being tourists, a guy came up to us and asked if we would like to join in some research by answering a questionnaire. Always willing to help, the two of us walked into a building and joined a few others as we answered a set of multiple choice questions about our personalities.
At the end, we were given a cup of coffee and asked to wait while another expert analysed our answers.
I saw my person first, and she was a young woman with a sad looking face.
“Hello,” she said with a forced smile. “How long are you staying here in Amsterdam?”
I told her we were leaving later in the evening and she said “I would advise you not to!”
Alarm bells began to ring. “Why?” I asked.
“You’re test shows that you are suicidal?” she replied, her face becoming serious.
“WHAT???” I said. “I’m not suicidal.”
“Your answers reveal that you are very sad and depressed,” she said. “You may not believe it but you are. There is a darkness inside you that we need to help you with. And we can help you if you stay...”
I was a little naïve but I had enough nous to disagree with her bullshit. In the end, she tried to sell me a book by L.Ron Hubbard called “Dianetics” and I just got up and walked away. As I waited for Wally, I began a deep search within. Was I depressed? Was I suicidal? I knew the answer was no but I wondered how they could have drawn that conclusion from my answers, which in my opinion, if anything, told me the direct opposite.
Just then, Wally came outside laughing.
“Guess what?” he said. “I’m suicidal and if I don’t join their course then I’m in serious trouble. What a bunch of charlatans. ”
“Me too?” I laughed, realising that it was just a recruitment scam. I now realise that this is how Scientology works to draw you in. I had never heard of this cult masquerading as a religion at the time, but I have now, so much so that I watch all manner of TV programmes about it. I am fascinated with how they can get away with their stupid cult activities. I can see how they recruit followers, though.
Thank goodness I’m not that gullible – even when I was a naïve teenager.
2. When I'm nervous ...
When I’m nervous, I try to distract myself by thinking of something else that is relaxing. I’ve used this technique when I had to give training courses for work. I hate public speaking and I have had to do it a number of times and I find distracting myself takes the edge off my fear.
Mindfulness helps too.
3. My hair ...
My hair is a sentient being that hates me. I have a bad hair day every day and I have to rectify that by taking a shower in an attempt to control it. My hair is short at the moment but it still tries to become a mess. When I was younger I had longer hair and I had to control it with hair spray. I used to take ages trying to beat it into submission.
In terms of colour, my hair used to be blond but has darkened with age, apart from the grey that has slowly been forming over the past fifteen years or so. Thankfully, I am not bald at all and my hair does make people think that I am younger than I actually am.
I still hate it though.
4. When I turn to the left, I see ...
When I turn to my left, I see that it is still raining. We have had a few days of warm sunny weather so I’m not too bothered. I also see our garden which is very nice.
5. My favourite aunt ...
I don’t have a favourite aunt. My mum was an only child and my dad had two sisters so I only had two. One of them sadly passed away a couple of years ago and she was a lovely funny lady. Her sister and my other aunt is still with us and she is a lot quieter but she is a lovely lady. They both rank equally highly in my affections.
6. I have a hard time understanding ...
I have a hard time understanding the way some people think, especially when they totally and absolutely believe in conspiracy theories. I’ve talked about this many times before. The evidence against their argument is overwhelming yet they throw all of that logic away and choose to embrace nonsense that has no proof whatsoever. A great example of this is Scientology (see above).
7. You know I like you if ...
You know I like you if I continue having a conversation with you and I smile a lot. I like to think that I’m a nice guy anyway and there are very few people that I dislike. Most of the people I do dislike are famous arses (like Piers Morgan, Donald Trump, Nigel Farage etc.) but if I know you and I dislike you then I will simply avoid you.
8. When I was 5 years old ...
I was at school, learning to read, learning my times tables and (according to people who knew me then) was a really cute kid with a mass of blond curls on top of my head. I only have vague memories of that time in my life and they are mostly about school and playing with various toys at home. I caught measles about that time and one thing I definitely recall about that was the horrific taste of the medicine I was prescribed.
Welcome to a very warm South Manchester where the temperature is a generous 32 °C (90 °F). We are having a heatwave in the UK at the moment, which is due to stay until Monday, when the temperatures will dip a little and some rain will appear. I’m going to a cricket match tomorrow and the weather will be perfect for that.
Until then, shall we answer some silly Sunday Stealing questions?
1. If money wasn't an issue, would you move to a new home?
I wouldn’t move to a new area but I would be tempted to move to a bigger house.
I live in quite a sought after area and house prices are quite expensive here. On my street there is a mixture of house styles from three bedroomed terraces to three bedroomed semi-detached houses but also there are some huge six bedroomed houses. I live in a fairly large three bedroomed mid-terrace house (dating from about 1900) and directly across the road is one of the big six bedroomed houses.
I think if I were to move I would just go across the road to that one. I would do this because I like the street and I like the convenience of being able to get into the city easily as well as the local shops, restaurants and bars.
2. Do you listen to different music when you're happy than when you're sad?
Kind of. When I am angry or animated I find mellow music quite soothing – something like this:
Songs like this are also good when I am on holiday. I love sitting on the balcony overlooking the sea and listening to mellow relaxing songs, especially when the sun is going down. Such songs also help if I am feeling a little sad.
If I am happy or getting ready to go out, I tend to listen more heavy material, like this:
To be honest, though, heavier songs also help when I’m sad and angry because I just get lost in the music.
3. What's your favourite way to unwind after a tough day?
Day’s aren’t so tough these days since I’ve retired. However, back when I was working, I had a kind of wind down routine when I got home after a tough day at the office. The first thing I would do was get changed and then make a piping hot cup of tea. And after that just switch off my brain and either watch something inane on the TV or just listen to some music.
It used to be quite effective.
4. What's the first book you remember from childhood?
I used to read a lot of Enid Blyton books when I was a kid but the one that sticks in my mind is “The Adventures of Mr Pink-Whistle”.
5. What made you smile today?
Mrs PM and I usually have breakfast in the lounge and when we got in there we found our two cats sprawled out in our usual seats, fast asleep. Star(dust) was in my seat and I did my usual trick and gently lifted her so that I could sit down. Both of my cats hate being picked up but when they are sleepy it takes a while for them to realise what is happening. Star(dust) looked up at me with bleary eyes and then repositioned herself to lie next to my leg (one of her favourite places).
Mrs PM did the same with Ziggy but he just stood there staring at me instead of lying down next to Mrs PM. He then looked down at Star and decided that he wanted to sit next to me as well. So he just plopped himself down half on top of Star and curled up. I had a mass of black cat next to me with legs and tails intertwined.
This is the first of two posts about legendary music stars that come from Birmingham, a city that is a mere 8 to 10 miles from where I was born. The first post is about Black Sabbath.
On Saturday 5th July 2025, Black Sabbath played their last ever gig. It was in Birmingham, their home city, at Villa Park, the stadium that is home to Aston Villa, the Premier League football team that the band all support.
I wasn’t there because it was too far to go and too expensive. However, I saw the them perform courtesy of You Tube. I have seen Ozzy Osbourne live once before, and Black Sabbath, also once, when they were fronted by Ronnie James Dio.
At the gig Ozzy Osborne performed a set of his solo material, before being joined by the other original members of the band, Tony Iommi, Geezer Butler and Bill Ward to perform as Black Sabbath.
This was a poignant moment for me because basically I have grown up listening to Black Sabbath and they were one of the bands that shaped my musical taste in the 1970’s. All four original members of the band were born and brought up in and around an area of Birmingham called Aston, which is about 8 miles from where I was born and raised. The band members and I have a lot in common in that we were all working class people whose parents worked in factories that spewed smoke and were really noisy due to clanging metal machinery. Of course, Black Sabbath are much older than I am (closer to the age that my dad would have been) but they all had musical talent and decided that a musical career was a better potential life than being stuck in a dirty, noisy factory for the rest of their lives.
Black Sabbath in the 1970's
Black Sabbath in 2025
In fact, the factory environment shaped the style of music that they would ultimately create and excel in. That style of music is reminiscent of the noise and clanging metal environment that they and my own father worked in.
Thus “heavy metal” was born and Black Sabbath were the founders and pioneers of the genre.
Some people have said that their music is dark, satanic and evil but really they just wrote songs that sounded like the musical equivalent of horror movies. Yes, there were some satanic and supernatural reference in their material but when you look at the subject matter of a lot of their songs they wrote, the meanings couldn’t be more different.
They are one of the most misunderstood bands around.
For example, “War Pigs” and “Children of the Grave” are anti-war protest songs and, of course, “Paranoid” is about mental health awareness.
The first time I heard Black Sabbath, I was just getting into heavy metal and a friend lent me the double album “We Sold Our Soul for Rock 'n' Roll”, which was a compilation album featuring all of the best songs from their first couple of albums.
I loved it so much that I didn’t give it back to my mate for ages. I remember my old man yelling at me to turn the music down because, like most heavy metal, it sounds so much better when it is loud. He loved traditional rock and roll but he absolutely hated Black Sabbath.
Over the intervening years, as I have become the old git I am now, I have followed the band through all of its changes, including Ozzy Osbourne being sacked and replaced by Ronnie James Dio. In fact for just one album, another of my other musical heroes joined as lead singer. That was Deep Purple’s Ian Gillan. Apparently he got drunk with Tony Iommi and agreed to join.
Their last concert was an event that lasted all day and featured many other legendary performers and bands including Anthrax, Alice in Chains, Halestorm, Pantera, Tool, Slayer, Guns N’ Roses and Metallica with a host of other famous people including Jason Momoa who hosted the event. No wonder it was so expensive.
I suppose every band has to finish and it is best to finish on a high. They are all old men and Ozzy in particular has been open about the health problems that he has to contend with. Nevertheless, I will still listen to their music as it helped shape my taste over the decades.
To finish off I will present my favourite five songs by the band. The order of the songs may not please other Black Sabbath fans but I truly don’t care. All of the following have a special meaning for me personally and I love them. That said, it took me a while to create the list and there are loads of other favourites that could have made the top five.
5. Neon Knights (from Heaven and Hell - 1980)
This is a controversial choice perhaps because it features Ronnie James Dio instead of Ozzy Osbourne. The song is from the first album the band released after Ozzy was sacked. I love it because I think that Ronnie is one of the greatest rock singers ever. For me it was perfect to blend in Ronnie’s style with that of Black Sabbath (Ronnie's style as in Rainbow and his own band called Dio) and it marks one of the peaks of my metal mania at the start of the 1980’s. It is just a brilliant song.
4. Never Say Die (from Never Say Die - 1978)
The album “Never Say Die” was Ozzy’s last one before he was sacked. Of course he reappeared in the band later but we will ignore that for now. This is the first Black Sabbath album I actually paid money for. The album itself is disappointing in retrospect but the title track truly stands out. Again, this may be controversial with some Black Sabbath fans but I stand by my choice.
Other Black Sabbath fans may just roll their eyes when they hear this. I just think it’s beautiful song and quite different to what non-Black Sabbath fans may expect of the band (but see later). I love the lyrics:
Of all the things I value most in life
I see my memories
And feel their warmth
And know that they are good
You know that I should
The song includes strings too, which for me adds to the appeal of the song and is just the icing on the cake. It is a pleasing progression from their normal output.
2. Symptom of the Universe (from Sabotage – 1975)
Okay – this is what Black Sabbath are all about. This is a really good heavy metal song with the grinding guitar and deep thumping bass line, accompanied by brilliant drums and Ozzy’s amazing and unique voice. This is a true air guitar song and as a kid I found myself pretending to be a blend of Tony Iommi and Ozzy Osbourne as I jumped around my room listening to this tune.
Sabbath Bloody Sabbath is a perfect metal masterpiece and certainly in my top ten heavy metal songs of all time. It has everything you would expect from Black Sabbath – a pounding grinding heavy beat that makes you want to headbang even if you don’t want to. Every time I hear it I lose myself in the music and shut out everything else. I love absolutely everything about it.
And finally …
For those of you who think that Black Sabbath are just a loud obnoxious heavy metal band, just take a listen to these two songs that completely belie that stereotype. I’ve played this to friends and asked them to guess the band – nobody got it right and nobody could believe who it was. They are both beautiful.
Laguna Sunrise (from Black Sabbath Volume 4 – 1972)
Welcome to a rainy Saturday in South Manchester. We’ve had good weather recently so it is a bit of a surprise to see the rain falling today. I managed to complete my morning walk before the first drops came thankfully.
This week's Sunday Stealing involves the word “FAB” In the UK we use it as an abbreviation for “fabulous”, for example the Beatles were the “Fab Four”, as George Harrison is pointing out in this solo hit from the 1980’s:
Although "FAB" was big in the 1960’s, it is used even today (probably by people who were born in the 1960’s like me). However, there is one use of it that causes confusion for some people and that is the use of F.A.B. in the 1960’s show Thunderbirds. When I was a kid watching the International Rescue saving the world with their magnificent Thunderbirds, I was confused when the Tracey brothers would acknowledge an order with “F.A.B”.
“What does “F.A.B” stand for?” my seven year old self would ask.
Well here (apparently) is the answer:
Okay, now that’s cleared up, let’s get F.A.B.
F. Film: What movie or tv show are you watching?
I usually have four TV shows on the go at any one time. Two of them are shared with Mrs and two are of my own choosing. Here are my current ones:
Gangs of London
This is a shared one with Mrs PM. It is a Sky show that is in its third season and is all about the rivalries between gangs in the city of London (as the title suggests). It is very gritty, violent and brutal and we both love it. The first two seasons were really good but the third is the best so far in my opinion.
Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power
This is the other shared one with Mrs PM and is a prequel to the Lord of the Rings trilogy set thousands of years in the past. We are currently watching season one and so far it is proving to be very enjoyable. We both love Tolkien’s Middle Earth saga.
Andor
I’m not the biggest fan of Star Wars and although the movies are very successful, I’ve only really enjoyed a couple of them. The same goes for the series too but I have enjoyed The Mandalorian. I thought I would give Andor a try and series one was very impressive. I’m currently enjoying season two.
Stargate Atlantis
As soon as I retired, I decided to watch a series that had eluded me for years and that series is Stargate SG-1. Since September last year, I have been watching the show most weekdays as I enjoy my breakfast after a walk and I have to say, I loved it. Sadly, I have watched all ten seasons so I decided to move onto the spin-off Stargate Atlantis. And I have to say I think Stargate Atlantis is even more enjoyable. I’m currently on season three and the Wraith are wonderful adversaries.
Movies
The last movie I watched was “Joker: Folie à Deux”. Compared to the original and wonderful “Joker” it was dreadful. I don’t blame Lady Ga Ga (as some may suggest). In my opinion, the blame lies with whoever decided to write such a terrible story and then make it partially a musical.
I’m looking forward to seeing the new "Fantastic Four" movie when it is released in a couple of weeks, although Mrs PM and I want to find time to see "28 Years Later" in the next week.
A. Audio: What are you listening to?
I listen to music all the time but I’d like to mention a new band that I have discovered this year. They are an Italian progressive rock band called Kingcrow and their 2024 album “Hopium” is absolutely amazing. Here is a song from it called “Night Drive”, a moody and atmospheric song that slowly builds up to an incredible crescendo:
B. Book: What are you reading?
I have just started “Mr Mercedes” by Stephen King, one of the few books by him that I haven’t read yet. Apparently it is the first in a trilogy and so far it is proving to be an intriguing thriller (as opposed to his usual horror and supernatural style). If I like it, I will read the other two books too.
I am sure that there are some of my fellow countrymen who like to stand in a line of people waiting to fulfil a mundane task or perhaps even wish to be rewarded after patiently waiting for the people in front of them.
But let me tell you one thing: I am British and I bloody well hate queuing.
It’s not so bad if there are only one or two people in front of me but if the queue has more than ten people you will see this particular Englishman, externally at least, roll his eyes in frustration. Internally I will be cursing, chastising myself for not getting to the queue earlier and generally my mood will plummet. If you are in the queue with me the only sign that you will see of inner self-loathing will be sighs of frustration and trying to look ahead to see how quickly the queue is actually moving.
If you could read my mind you would be appalled at the language of my inner voice. You would hear me mentally yelling at the people in front of me to hurry up while at the same time cursing the person who is dealing with the queue for not processing people quickly enough.
Those weird people who actually enjoy queuing say that it gives them the opportunity to chat to people in the queue. Have you ever heard strangers in a queue talking to each other? They aren’t talking about how much they love queuing. They are talking about how much they hate queuing. It’s a walking paradox or more accurately a queuing paradox.
People also say that “Patience is a virtue” and I am a very patient person – unless I am in a queue when all traces of patience are expelled from my brain.
I have numerous examples of being involved in a long queue and things that piss me off about standing in line. Here’s just one – a simple one:
I’ve just returned from Nice and while queuing at airport security, there was a person in front of me asking questions about what he should put in the tray to go through the sensors.
“Do I have to take my coat off? What about my belt? I’ve got a laptop in my bag, does that have to come out of the bag too? What about my keys? What about my phone? Do I have to take my shoes off? What about my watch and my glasses? And my wallet? And the coins in my back pocket? Oh – and I have some liquids. What’s the upper limit?”
Now these are all reasonable questions because every airport is different and the technology for scanning you and your hand luggage varies. Nevertheless, the queue-hater in me comes out screaming. My inner voice shrieks:
“CAN’T YOU READ? There are signs EVERYWHERE answering all of these questions FOR YOU!”
This only happens in my head of course, otherwise I would probably be arrested because there are signs warning you about being aggressive or just a very grumpy person in a queue. Outside I appear to be the calmest person in the world but inside I am a ranting monster and a raving lunatic. This is what queuing does to me.
If it were up to me, queues would be abolished. Practically speaking of course that is impossible because queues exist for a reason and they exist worldwide.
I have no answers. Queues are sadly a part of life and are inevitable.
However, there is one British stereotype about queuing that I embrace whole-heartedly. And that is when I see somebody trying to jump into the queue. British people HATE queue jumpers and the usual so-called polite and reserved Englishman will act immediately if he thinks somebody is committing the cardinal sin of queue jumping.
Here’s an example of a subtle technique used that Englishmen would react to instantly. This is highlighted by Larry David, an American, but the principle is the same:
Such behaviour in England is wholly unacceptable and can cause outrage.
For example, we had a couple of minor celebrities called Phillip Schofield and Holly Willoughby who, at the time of the Queen’s death, were generally quite well-liked and respected (not by me but that’s a different story). They had a TV magazine show called “This Morning” that was very popular.
It all threatened to fall apart for them when they committed the cardinal queuing sin. The queue in question was to see Queen Elizabeth II lying in state and the length of the queue was enormous. Famous people mingled with your everyday Brit just to pay their respects and queued for more than twelve hours.
Imagine that: QUEUING FOR 12 HOURS!
However, Schofield and Willoughby used their “job” as an excuse to jump the queue and many people caught them on camera doing just that. There was complete outrage throughout the country. Many avid viewers of their show threatened to boycott the pair of them and for a time it looked like they were going to lose their jobs.
They were forced to apologise:
Queuing is bad enough but having to queue while driving takes it to a new and higher level. And queue jumpers in this situation are treated as if they are beneath contempt.
Picture the scene. You are driving on a three lane motorway and two of the lanes are blocked or closed a couple of miles ahead. This means that everybody in the two closed lanes has to merge into the one open lane. There is usually ample notice so the right thing to do is to gradually edge over to merge. People in the open lane acknowledge this and are quite happy to let people merge in gradually. However, there are some people (and let’s call them by their true name – arseholes) who decide that they are going to avoid the queues to merge and just rush down to the blockage itself and merge there thus avoiding most of the queue. This is a crime that should be punishable by law in the eyes of most people and as soon as people in the queue recognise what is happening, they all band together to stop the arsehole from merging.
Similarly this can happen if people try to avoid queuing for a turnoff by waiting until the last minute to join those who have been queuing for ages. At this point road rage can definitely enter the equation and you can see some of the reactions if you look up queue jumping cars in Britain, where people post dashcam footage to name and shame the drivers.
Queue jumping seems to be more rife abroad. I was in Crete many years ago and queuing to get on a boat when all of a sudden a bunch of Germans tried to push in at the front as if there were no such thing as queue etiquette. They were quickly dispatched to the back of the queue by a rather angry English lady at the front.
This is what queuing does to people.
Next time you are in a queue try thinking about being in the queue with me. You will see a calm person queuing in an orderly fashion, occasionally rolling his eyes or sighing. If you try talking to me I will say something like “I wish this queue would hurry along.” But know that my inner hulk is raging. Thankfully nobody will ever see that inner hulk nor will you hear me reciting the lyrics in the following song. I hate queuing but I will never be a queue jumper:
