Fewer Than 5000 Questions

Here are this week’s questions from Sunday Stealing.

Let’s dive right in, shall we?

1. Have you read anything by C.S. Lewis?

Yes – two books actually and both as a child:

Out of the Silent Planet

The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe.

2. What is your favourite movie with Jack Nicholson?

I’m going to cheat and say three because I simply cannot pick a favourite out of them:

One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest

The Shining

Batman

3. What rhymes with 'orange'?

Blorenge. It is a mountain in Wales.

4. Have you ever swallowed an object by accident?

Yes. I accidentally swallowed a jellyfish.

Don’t panic, dear reader – it was cooked. I was in Hong Kong and I was chewing an unknown bit of food and I asked our host what it was. When he told me it was jellyfish, I meant to spit it out but in shock I accidentally swallowed it.

To be honest, it wasn’t that bad and I actually ate jellyfish again in Japan – this time voluntarily.

5. Is your eyesight 20/20?

Absolutely not. I wear glasses and without them I am as blind as the proverbial bat. I am Mr Magoo.

I am horrifically short-sighted and have worn glasses since the age of 8. And now I have to wear expensive varifocals.

People have said I have nice eyes. I would willingly swap them for ugly ones that worked properly.

6. Have you ever had insomnia?

Yes – most recently because I accidentally made a cup of monster-raving-loony , full-fat highly caffeinated coffee by mistake. I am almost totally decaffeinated now (including tea) so I ran around like a demented lunatic for two hours before bedtime and then spent the first four hour lying in bed with caffeine flooding through my veins and shaking me awake when my body threatened to succumb to slumber.

It was bloody awful.

7. Does it bother you when people touch you?

It depends who it is. If it is a friendly person then absolutely not.

If it is a mugger or a policeman arresting me for crimes against fashion then most definitely.

8. Is it better to get too much or too little sleep?

I think it’s better to get too much sleep. My body works like clockwork – seven and a half hours every night (unless I’ve accidentally drunk a caffeine bomb).

9. What gets your adrenaline pumping?

Anything that scares me – like tall buildings and public speaking.

10. Do you ever talk about yourself in the third person?

Only when I refer to the Plastic Mancunian, the persona I use for this blog. When I see something noteworthy or funny I say things like “The Plastic Mancunian needs to write about that!”.

Mrs PM thinks I am mad.

11. What's your favourite radio station? What kind of music do they play?

Please don’t get me started on radio stations because I will rant mercilessly.

Bugger it! I am going to anyway.

There are NO radio stations that play my kind of music and it annoys the hell out of me. All of the popular radio stations I try to tune into when driving, say, play inane pop music, old songs that were hits decades ago, terrible dance music, appalling rap music and other bilge.

I don’t want to turn on a radio station and hear songs from the 1980’s that I hated in the 1980’s.

I want to hear decent rock music – or some progressive rock.

For example, Iron Maiden are a huge British Heavy Metal band, you may have heard and have been around since the late 1970’s. They fill arenas when they go on tour and have millions of fans worldwide who love their music.

But can I find a radio station in the UK that plays even ONE of their songs? In a word NO!

Thank goodness for the internet.

Here is a beautiful rock song that you will never hear on a British radio station because the owners, producers and DJ’s only want to spoon feed you the latest bilge to come out of Simon Cowell’s bland music factory.

12. Do you believe there is anyplace still undiscovered in all the world?

I would like to think so and if so, I would love it to remain that way.

13. Ever caught a fish?

I have held a fishing rod for approximately five minutes before handing over to my friend who then caught a fish about ten minutes after that. Does that count?

14. Were you ever in the first row of a concert?

Yes – a couple of times. I was in the front row for a rock band called Dare and actually high-fived the singer.  It was in the late 1980’s and that band featured Professor Brian Cox (the famous phycisist – famous in Britain anyway). Here is a song from them at that time.



The biggest band I have been in the front row for is Deep Purple when they played the Manchester Arena. I wasn’t close enough to touch the band members (there was too much security in the way and a huge gap between the first row and the stage) but I almost caught a plectrum thrown by Steve Morse, the guitarist.

15. Do you have any autographs?

Yes – but you will never have heard of them. When I was a kid, my dad took me to Mansfield to see Walsall (my favourite football team) play away. As we walked outside the ground, the coach containing the Walsall players turned up and I managed to get most of the players to sign the football programme for me. One of them was my absolute hero at the time, a striker called Alan Buckley. I still have it upstairs in the loft and it is one of my most treasured possessions.

This is Alan Buckley – an absolute legend!