Tuesday, 23 October 2018


Sometimes I feel useless and when I do, I try to think of things that are more hopeless than I am to make myself feel better.

For example, a Tyrannosaurus Rex is a fearsome creature that was King of the Dinosaurs but this terrifying giant lizard with huge claws and ferocious teeth had a major design flaw – tiny arms.

When I feel useless, I just imagine this horrific creature trying to make a bed.

In fact, it’s worse than that. With those tiny little arms, the Tyrannosaurus Rex would be quite limited if the species had thrived, gained intelligence and managed to fit in with society.

Sorry to bring the subject matter down to the toilet again, but a T Rex on the toilet would have a problem trying to reach the loo roll, wouldn’t he?

How crossing a river? I don’t know whether a T Rex could swim but if he had to use a boat, he would have a big problem with the oars.

What about fashion? How would he mange to put on a hat? Or a pair of trousers?

And what if he wanted to keep fit by doing push ups? Those tiny arms would be a massive hindrance, don’t you think?

In fact, something as simple as drinking a glass of water would prove a little too much for this terrible lizard.

Okay – so I’m picking on a long extinct reptile, but you get my drift, I hope.

I certainly wouldn’t want to meet the one that would be offended by what I have just written.

I think I’m safe though because even if a T Rex could read, he would struggle to find my blog on the internet because he wouldn’t be able to type on the keyboard -  even if he were far more intelligent than I am.

Nor would he be able to use a smartphone because it would be so far from his head that he wouldn’t be able to use it.

I think I’m safe.

I no longer feel useless.

I just hope I never meet one.


Elephant's Child said...

And would like to see a similar take on humans from T Rex's point of view...

River said...

Poor T-Rex can never hug his friends and family, never clap his hands, never twirl a partner around a dance floor either. There is so much he couldn't do. Although I have never compared myself to him when I feel useless. I usually sit around telling myself how stupid I am instead. Sometimes there's a good cry involved and then things get back on an even keel.

Plastic Mancunian said...

Hi EC,

Absolutely! As useless as they are with their tiny arms, we are pretty poor in comparison. Like I said, I wouldn't want to meet one.




Plastic Mancunian said...

Hi River,

All of those things are true.

These days I openly admit to anybody who happens to be around how stupid I am. It's the basis for my blog.