Saturday 26 October 2013


While I am a happy chap, there are still things in life that disappoint me. These are the tiny irksome irritating things that are like a tiny little pain, constantly there and causing discomfort on occasion – like an itch in a hard to reach place.

I can find some solace in sharing them with you, dear reader, so if you are prepared to indulge me and allow me to scratch that infuriating itch by allowing me to list them for you, then I will be grateful.

Here are a few of the sources of disappointment for me. This list is not exhaustive – there are many items that are in my deep subconscious mind hiding from my mental search – but I will get to them someday.

Anyway, enough waffle – here goes. I am disappointed because:

  • The X Factor is back for another season.  When will ITV see sense and remove this virus from our screens?
  • My favourite football team are in the third tier of English football and I get excited when they scrape a win against Swindon Town.  I have to suffer fans of Manchester United and Manchester City constantly bleating about how brilliant their clubs are while I have to sit there and watch the team I love struggling.
  • Metrolink roadworks have doubled my journey time to and from work. I arrive at work with my soapbox out already wound up about the stupid bus that blocked the road for 20 minutes because he thought he could sneak through a temporary red light.
  • Piers Morgan has a new series on television.  When will the British media stop allowing this man airtime on prime time TV? Send him to America and keep him there.
  • I am still stuck in the rat race.  My need for money forces me to spend the entire day frustrated and angry. Where is that elusive winning lottery ticket?
  • Summer is over and the rain has struck back with a vengeance.  A fairly big storm is forecast for Sunday night and Monday morning bringing yet more rain to an increasingly damp and miserable Manchester. The nights are getting longer and the grey clouds are obscuring the sunshine that I crave so much.
  • I want to travel the world but am tied up in work.  My trip to Japan earlier this year has rekindled the travel bug to the extent that the temptation to simply give up, say “Bugger this!” and just go out there, is almost overwhelming.
  • I cannot become invisible.  Okay, this is a silly one. If I had the ability to become invisible I would give quite a few people an anonymous slap.
  • David Cameron is still Prime Minister.  David Cameron, or “Dave” to his mates, may be a member of the elite club of Dave’s but he is so far out of touch with life in Britain that I suspect he is an alien.
  • We rarely see good news – unless it’s about Royalty.  When I watch the news, I see tales of war, poverty, trouble, trauma and travesty and the newscasters seem to think that seeing a baby being baptised will bring a smile to my face and somehow make the bad news go away. “Yes there is a war but at least we can fawn over the future king of England.”
  • My decrepit old body is not able to keep pace with my young man’s brain.  Aches and pains appear for no reason – well realistically because I have done something foolish like jog to the shop.
  • Mrs PM still wants to watch The X Factor despite ranting about how unfair and ridiculous it is. Sorry to mention The X Factor again but I have to put up with Mrs PM being drawn to the show, almost like a drug that she cannot give up. For the last two years, she has cried out about how unfair it is. “I can't BELIEVE they got rid of Ploppy McPlop. He was the best singer. I am NOT watching this show again.” – that is until next year when she will be there watching it avidly. Worse – she tells me what’s going on and I HATE the show.
  • I am not a millionaire.  Life is not fair; if it were I would have so much money that I wouldn’t know what to do with it.
  • I am not The Incredible Hulk.  I just want to be able to say “Don’t make me angry; you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry!” to those people who annoy me.
  • Nice guys do not get a fair deal.  I am a nice guy. I treat people with kindness and respect, and I always have a smile on my face even when I am going full pelt on my soapbox. Yet the people who get on in the world seem to have a sinister nasty streak and don’t mind treading on people to achieve their goals. Life is simply unfair sometime.
  • My cats won’t go outside to answer a call of nature. Ever since we introduced Liquorice into our household, the feline hierarchy has been turned upside down. After a run in with next door’s dog, Liquorice only leaves the house when we do. Poppy has chosen to stay upstairs rather than tangle with Liquorice. Jasper is so lazy that he would rather poop in the house than outside, particularly if it is raining. Consequently we have three litter trays and each one of our cats loves to hurl litter all over the entire house.

I think that’s enough for now.

Despite the rather negative tone of the post, I absolutely love life and am rational enough to realise that however happy people are there are and always will be disappointments to deal with.

Over to you, dear reader.

What disappoints you?

Do you agree with any items above? 

Or better still have you any remedies for any of them?

[Ed – Come on PM, end on a positive note!]

OK, Ed – here is a happy little ditty that is a guaranteed earworm.

It’s called Swimwear by a band called Hey! Hello! and I guarantee you will have the chorus in your head for days to come.



Elephant's Child said...

I don't need anymore earworms so have piked on your offering.
Snap to rather a lot of your irritations.
Our kitty litter trays are covered but one of the cats (yes Jazz I mean you) is still able to spread the stuff from Christmas to breakfast. And detruffelating the kitty litter is a daily joy. Not.

Rum-Punch Drunk said...

You sure do have some itches to scratch mate and I'm with you on some of them.

I'm just waiting for this massive storm to hit followed by several freezing cold months of wind, rain, snow and a little more snow. And when these things happen, our proud country never does anything to prepare for the next time. I mean, it's not like we don't have long drawn out winters is it? I know they haven't got any 'salt' to sort the snow AGAIN. After the storm, we shall all see the works of every dodgy workman on our streets. They always get caught.

And they need to ban umbrellas, unless someone can make one that will stay open. Do you know how much they cost me several times a year?

Oh, I'm not happy with one of our super highway bike lanes in London. Some people think they are rockets. They cycle at 10,000 miles per minute and expect you to move out of their way in time. It's safer riding in the middle of the motorway in rush hour.

On a good note, I love my London... buckle up mate, it's on it's way

River said...

Remedies? You've got to be kidding.
If I had remedies, that elusive winning ticket would be mine, then in turn all my family and friends.
Your summer is over already? Ours is beginning and I'm not looking forward to the next six months being hotter than I can handle.

Plastic Mancunian said...

Hi EC,

Sometimes, the cats get a little overzealous and hurl their "gifts" out of the tray too.





Plastic Mancunian said...


Of course we're never prepared; its ridiculous when you think about it.

I believe the south is going to suffer more than the north so the storm might batter you Londoners more than it batter us Mancunians.

That's if they get it right of course. So you'll get off Scot free then I reckon.




Plastic Mancunian said...

Hi River,

Yes - sadly summer north of the Equator is May to September - if we're lucky.

Cold dark wet nights for the next few months I'm afraid.

One thing I would definitely do if I were to win the lottery would be to spend this time Down Under in warm and sunny Oz.

One day, River, one day!




jeremy north said...

Hearing people complain about crap tv like the x factor disappoints me . Why do they watch it and all its siblings & cousins. If there's nothing good on BBC2 or 4 I turn the telly off or watch a dvd.

The clocks went back last night, so why do they say it is an extra hour in bed, rather than an extra hour to spend awake? Are we a nation of lazy slobs?

Why are rumours reported on the news then again later reported as not being true?

Cats have never let me down except when getting run over.

I will not complain about the weather yet, we had an amazing summer.

I disappoint myself daily. If only I could practice what I preach!

Plastic Mancunian said...

Hi Jeremy,

The main reason I hate X Factor is because Mrs PM watches it and therefore I have to hear about it. When I am unlucky enough to be in the same room as her at the time, I leave pretty quickly.

Clocks going back? Doesn't bother me.

Rumours are usually sensationalist - and people fall for it - and watch more news.

Let's see what the weather brings. At the moment, here it is dull and rainy - typical of Manchester - though yes, we did have a great summer for once.




mrs pm said...

If you clean the litter trays i'll stop watching x factor :-)

Plastic Mancunian said...

Hi dearest,

I can walk out of the lounge to escape!