The Seriously Random Questions Meme

On Monday I am off for a well-deserved holiday to a country I have never visited before: Turkey.

Mrs PM and I are really looking forward to it.

In the meantime, I thought I would have another go at a meme from Sunday Stealing and, as is usually the case, I find that it is the second part of a meme.

Tradition now dictates that I have a go at all parts – so I will do so.

Here it is:

1. Your ex's car is on the side of the road, on fire. What do you do?

I would almost certainly call the fire department like any decent citizen of the world. If she was in the car, I would do my best to rescue her.

I don’t bear grudges.

2. Your best friend tells you she is pregnant. What is your reaction?

Your assumption is that my best friend is a woman. In this case you are correct and that woman is Mrs PM. And if she told me that she was pregnant I would almost certainly scream:

“WHAT??? How did THAT happen?”

to which her reply would almost certainly be:

“Are you a complete moron?”

3. When is the last time you wanted to punch someone in the face?

Last time I saw David Cameron’s smug face on the television.

4. What is the last thing you spent money on?

I bought a round of beers after the Whitesnake gig last night. We were in a student bar and I tried to get a discount by pretending to be a student. The barman just laughed.

Actually – come to think of it, the last thing I spent money on was my bus fare home on the nutty bus.

5. Do you think you gained or lost weight this past month?

I have actually lost weight, believe it or not.

6. Crunchy or Puffy Cheetos?

Neither. I don't know what they are and I don't care. My life is probably better for not knowing.


7. The first person on your friends list just called you a bitch. What do you do?

I would tell him that he needs to go to Specsavers.

8. Congratulations! You just had a son. What’s his name?

Crikey – I’ve got two sons already. What is it with you and these bloody questions about children? Okay – just to satisfy your weird craving I would pick a weird name:

Ethelred

It’s about time we brought back the names of early English kings.

9. Congratulations! You just had a daughter. What’s her name?

For Pete’s sake. Okay – here’s one for you:

Boudica

10. What are you craving right now?

Mrs PM is cooking a curry and the smell is driving me insane with hunger. So I guess that I am craving a curry.

11. What was the last thing you cried about?

Being asked this question meme after meme after bloody meme.


12. When you buy something and your change is 2 cents, do you keep it or tell the cashier to keep it?

I explain to the cashier that we are both in England and that I expect my change to be in British currency.

13. What color is your tissue box?

I don’t have a tissue box.

14. Do you have a ceiling fan in your bedroom, and if so, is there dust on that fan?

I live in England – why would I have a ceiling fan?

15. What was the last voicemail you received about?

It was from a mate telling me that he had arrived at Kro Piccadilly for a quick beer before the Whitesnake concert and asking me how long I was going to be.

16. Have you ever blocked someone on Facebook?

I have two Facebook accounts.

The first is under my real name and I have not blocked anybody, just ignored friend requests from people I don’t know.

The second is “ThePlastic Mancunian” and I will be friends with anybody who wants to be my friend on that one. And I will not block anybody either.

17. Scariest thing you’ve experienced in the last year?

Accidentally watching an episode of the X Factor.


18. Do you wear a name tag at work?

No – everybody knows who I am.

19. What kind of car do you want?

The fastest super car I can drive without taking off.

20. What do you order when you go to Burger King?

I haven’t been to Burger King for around ten years. I guess I would order what I ordered last time: a Whopper?


21. Have you ever had a garage sale?

No – I haven’t got a garage to sell.

22. What color is your cell phone?

It is a kind of dark grey.

23. What is the last alcoholic beverage you had?

A pint of Marsden’s Pedigree last night after the Whitesnake concert.

24. Are you happy right now?

Deliriously happy. I am off to Turkey on Monday.

25. Who came over to your house last?

It was a friend of Mrs PM’s called Nancy.


26. Do you drink beer?

Have you not read any of the previous questions? Yes.

27. Have your brothers or sisters ever told you that you were adopted?

Why on Earth would they do that? The answer is, of course, no.

28. What is your favorite key on your key chain?

I think the person who wrote these questions needs to see a specialist of some kind. My front door key perhaps?

29. What was the last movie you watched at home?

Ah – that’s a better question. It was “The Sorcerer’s Apprentice” starring Nicholas Cage.

30. What is in your pocket?

A space shuttle.

31. Who introduced you to your bf/gf/husband/wife?

I introduced myself to Mrs PM.

32. Where do you hurt?

I usually hurt at work because it is a pain to go there.

33. Has someone ever made you a build a bear?

Doctor? Bring the strait jacket. No I have NOT built a bloody bear nor have I made anybody build a bloody bear. Bears are animals and cannot be built.

34. What’s something fun you did today?

I was going to say answering these questions but the very nature of them is making me reassess the definition of the word “fun”.


35. What is your favorite aisle at Target?

Never heard of Target.

36. When is your birthday?

8th October.

37. Is there anything hanging from your rear view mirror?

Just my will to live.

38. How many states in the US have you been to?

New York, New Jersey, Massachusetts, Louisiana, Washington, California, Georgia, Oklahoma, Alaska, Florida, North Carolina, Virginia, Ohio.

So that’s 12.

39. What kind of milk do you drink?

Normal everyday skimmed milk.

40. What are you going to do after this?

Post it on my blog, eat a curry and watch the first episode of the 5th series of Dexter.

That's it folks. See you in a week or two.