Sweet Little Lies

Greetings from a cold but sunny South Manchester. Sadly, summer has departed for another year and, as I stare out of the window, I can see blue sky, white clouds and a light breeze making the trees wave to me. That breeze is chilly though and when I went for my walk this morning there was frost on my car.

Since my last post I’ve been abroad twice. First I went to Skiathos in Greece where I tasted the end of summer with temperatures of about 30 degrees Celsius (about 86 degrees Fahrenheit). Skiathos is lovely and very scenic and, of course the place where the “Mamma Mia!” movie was shot. And boy did I know it. There were numerous boat trips where the customers were subjected to trips to the adjacent island of Skopelos just to see a chapel that featured in the movie while being serenaded by Abba. I had to do this trip too because Mrs PM insisted on it. It was fun though because it wasn’t all Abba related. For example, we found an exclusive beach that we could only get to by boat and we got to explore Skopelos Town.

My second trip was a weekend in Budapest with my old mates from university. This year marks the 40th anniversary of leaving Liverpool University and the five of us spent four days reminiscing about those good old days while exploring this magnificent city. I’ve been there before but I forgot how lovely the place is. I would recommend going to Budapest but don’t bother trying to learn Hungarian – it is such a difficult language to understand.  For example, the Hungarian for:

“I really enjoyed walking around Budapest today. I saw a lot of historical sites and had an enjoyable day strolling by the river.”

is

“Nagyon élveztem ma Budapesten sétálni. Sok történelmi helyszínt láttam, és egy kellemes napot töltöttem a folyóparton sétálva.”

and the only word I could even guess is the word for "Budapest". 

Shall we answer some silly questions from Sunday Stealing? 

1. What do you hope your last words will be?

I hope they are something amusing like these from Oscar Wilde:

“This wallpaper and I are fighting a duel to the death. Either it goes or I do.”

I’d like to think they would be something like:

“You know I love travelling; I’m off to somewhere incredible now. I'll try to come back as a ghost and tell you what it's like.”

2. What do you spend the most time thinking about?

That’s a difficult question. Apparently there is a myth that most men spend their time thinking about women and sex and while that may have been true for younger men, I can’t say that is true now at the age of 62 (it was my birthday on 8th October). 

At the moment I am thinking about how I can make the most out of my new retired status. It’s been difficult so far because I’ve been quite busy with trips and sorting stuff out but hopefully I will be able to focus on things between now and Christmas. 

3. What is something you can never seem to finish?

A novel. I have started one and I even have the ending in my head but I have been procrastinating a little because writing a novel is really hard. Now I am retired I need to focus on it a little but I also have another book idea going on at the same time – a kind of memoir based on my travel experiences. It is much easier to write non-fiction so I must try to prevail in my ongoing war against procrastination.

4. What mistake do you keep making again and again?

I usually try to learn from mistakes and it can be frustrating when you don’t. When it comes to life choices I’m pretty good at that but when you are learning a new discipline, you have to learn to overcome such mistakes. For example, when learning a language, the grammar is tough to learn and I find that there are certain idioms and language structures that set traps for me to fall into repeatedly. Similarly when trying to play the piano, there are certain tunes that are more difficult than others and I find that I repeat mistakes sometimes. 

But you know what they say: “Practice makes perfect”. 

5. What’s the best thing you got from your parents?

That would be life itself. I am eternally grateful that the fates conspired to set up the perfect circumstances for Mother Nature to allow me to pop into existence. 

In terms of personality, I am quite laid back like my father was but I can be quite stubborn and determined like my mother. 

6. What’s the best and worst thing about getting older?

The best thing about getting older is that my experience has made me wiser and made me care less about things that used to irritate me when I was younger.

The worst thing is watching the slow decline of my body. 

I once wrote a blog post about this very subject back in 2018:

The Pros and Cons of Growing Old 

7. What do you wish your brain was better at doing?

Learning a new language. They say when you are younger, your brain is like a sponge that can retain knowledge and the way a child can pick up a new language is amazing. I used to be quite good at languages when I was a kid. I learned Latin, French and German to the point where, at the age of about 16, I could actually talk to a Frenchman, a German and, had I met one, a Roman Centurion.

Now the basics of French and German are there but I have lost a lot of what I learned and it is much tougher to learn Spanish from scratch than it was with the other two. But I am kind of there. I just wish my brain retained the information better. 

8. If your childhood had a smell, what would it be?

That would probably be sweets and chocolate. 

9. What have you created that you are most proud of?

During my time as a software engineer, I wrote some pretty good software that has made me proud.

It is time to give you a hint about what I did. 

I worked for a company that supplied systems to airports. I worked on and wrote software for Flight Information systems, Airport Management systems, Baggage Reconciliation systems and Resource Management systems and I see the fruits of my labour at many airports in the world. For example, my company supplied the Flight Information system to Budapest airport so when I was there last weekend, I pointed out to my colleagues that without my software all of the displays would be blank. 

I’m proud of that. 

There a quite a few airports worldwide that have software that I have written and there is a chance that you, dear reader, may have experienced that.

I’m also proud of creating this blog.  

10. What were some of the turning points in your life?

There have been many: 

Passing an exam to get me into the best school in Walsall.

Passing my A-Levels to get me into Liverpool University.

Graduating from Liverpool University with an Honours Degree.

Moving to Manchester and starting a job there. 

Getting married and buying my first house. 

Having two wonderful boys.

Getting divorced.

Meeting Mrs PM.

Paying off my mortgage.

Retiring (just starting down this path). 

11. What song or artist do you like but rarely admit to liking?

That would probably be A-ha, the Norwegian pop band who were really successful in the 1980s and 1990s. There are still around and they used to be like a boy band in many ways and in their heyday they had loads of female fans screaming at them, something that made me embarrassed to admit that I liked them. Despite them being heartthrobs for teenage girls, I thought (and still think) that musically they are amazing. 

I’ve even seen them live – and I loved them.

Here is one of my favourite songs by the band. 

I’m happy to admit I like them but I rarely do.

12. What small impact from a stranger made a big impact on you?

Nothing leaps to mind at the moment. There’s plenty of time for that to happen I guess.

13. As you get older, what are you becoming more and more afraid of?

I’m afraid of truth being distorted, post-truth and fake news. A lot of society’s ills and the slow decline of world peace in the 21st century are the result of people lying and others believing those lies. 

We see it a lot at elections and referenda but in the past twenty or so years this is getting worse and leading to terrible consequences. We have seen it in the UK with the Brexit debacle and it surfaces whenever there is an election. Take Boris Johnson for example. He has thrived on telling massive lies and, thankfully, he has been found out. But he still denies that he lies and people still believe him.

Across the pond we have Donald Trump who lives in a fantasy world. His lies led to the storming of the Capitol Building and there are so many people who believe that the last election was “stolen” that he is going to get millions of votes and could even be president again.

With the advent of social media, people are believing any old nonsense they read and see. They say that if you continue to repeat a lie then people will believe it eventually and social media is a huge quagmire of total bullshit. This has led to a rise in conspiracy theorists who, when challenged, seem to dig in and fortify their flawed positions. Don’t get me wrong; I love a conspiracy theory and they have been around for decades. The problem is now that such conspiracy theories are gaining momentum. Just look at the rise in the number of people who believe that the Earth is flat for example. 

It's a dangerous precedent and while it doesn’t give me sleepless nights, I do think that common sense is being compromised and replaced by absolute bullshit. 

14. What are some of the events in your life that made you who you are?

See my answer to question 10.

15. What could you do with $2 million to impact the most amount of people?

At the time of writing, $2,000,000 is worth about £1,530,416. It doesn’t make any difference; it is still a very large sum of money and could make a lot of difference to a lot of people. 

There is a big problem with homeless people in the UK and we often see such people on the streets of major UK cities, including Manchester. I would probably try to donate that money to a charity that helps such people. 

Personal Space

Welcome to a surprisingly pleasant autumn day in South Manchester at the end of my first week of retirement. To be honest, I’ve had so much to do this week that it has flown by. I’ve had some personal and retirement related things to sort out, but I did find time to go to the last cricket match of the season at Old Trafford with a fellow retiree yesterday. While my ex-colleagues were slaving over a hot computer, I was sitting in the sunshine watching Lancashire play Somerset. I realised that retirement is actually good.

Today I have been sorting things out for my holiday. I will be up at 3:45 am tomorrow to get to the airport to catch a flight to Skiathos in Greece for a week long break in what is left of the summer. It will be good. 

I’ve just about packed now so I have some bonus time to do a last minute blog post from Sunday Stealing before I settle down to relax this evening. 

Let’s dive in. 

1. What popular TV show do you refuse to watch?

One of the most popular shows in the UK is called “Strictly, Come Dancing”. Each year, they select a group of so-called celebrities to team up with professional dancers who put them through a rigorous training schedule to perform, each week, a dance routine and they are judged by a bunch of “experts” and then ultimately by the general public. This drivel goes on for weeks and is just over-the-top nonsense. I was unfortunate enough to watch the Christmas Special one year because we were at Mrs PM’s mum’s house and she loves it. 

It was utter over-hyped nonsense and a real pain to watch. I would honestly rather have sat in a darkened room listening to Mrs PM's music than subject my poor eyes and brain to that inane rubbish. I watched flawed dance routines, fawning judges who said things like “My DARLING! You were magnificent! You were like melted butter sliding over a crumpet.” 

I almost threw up my Christmas dinner. 

The show isn’t without its controversy. There have been several occasions when the contestant and dancer have become a little too intimate and ended up breaking up relationships and marriages. It's known as "The Strictly Curse". The British public seem to lap up garbage like that. And recently there have been allegations of dancers bullying their celebrity partners. 

The show is back on our screens now in the prime time Saturday night BBC1 slot. 

Thankfully Mrs PM hates it too so it will never ever appear on the TV screen in the Plastic Mancunian household. 

2. What pets did you have while growing up?

The first pet I vaguely recall was a black and white mongrel pooch called Rinty, who sadly passed away when I was very young. He was replaced by another black dog also called Rinty who lived to be about 12 before he was sadly killed by a car when he escaped the house. 

His replacement was another small mongrel called Paddy who lived until the ripe old age of 21 before going blind. I loved that dog and he was still around when I left home for university in Liverpool and my subsequent move to Manchester. Through Paddy’s long life, we managed to get through three cats. The first one was a ginger female cat called Charlie and the second was also a female called Smokie. Sadly both of them met the same fate as Rinty at a young age. The third cat proved to be a psycho cat, a male tabby called Midge who loved Paddy more than any humans in the house. He was very loving but he used to hunt me and my sisters around the house and attack us for fun. He lived to the ripe old age of 18. 

3. What is the luckiest thing that has happened to you?

Meeting Mrs PM and somehow, just by being myself, showing that I am a worthy partner for her.

4. What are some small things that make your day better?

Both of my cats are very friendly and I love it when either of them sits next to me on the sofa. In particular, Star(dust) stretches out along my leg and tries he best to become one with it, like a limpet. Star(dust) is a little head shy though but Ziggy loves head-bumping. I’ve been woken up in the morning by a forceful head bump to my face when we have accidentally left the bedroom door open. 

Such things make me smile. 

5. What’s your favourite piece of clothing you own/owned?

I had a brilliant leather jacket in the 1980’s and I loved it. It came with me to many gigs and lasted well into the 1990’s. Sadly Mrs PM hated it and I stopped wearing it around 2000. Eventually I opted to get rid of it, which is a shame. I have a leather jacket now but it’s not as good. 

6. What’s the most annoying habit other people have?

I hate to be interrupted and I also get annoyed with people who invade my personal space when talking to me. I don’t mind a hug at all and I also don’t mind somebody sitting really close to me but when that person is talking to me and their head is about an inch from mine, I have to create a bigger gap. 

Mrs PM is an exception to this rule. 

7. What game or movie universe would you most like to live in?

I’d quite like to live in the Star Trek universe. Technologically speaking I would feel like the cat that got the cream. 

I would particularly love to be transported to anywhere else on the planet in a few seconds. Playing around in a holosuite would be incredible. It would also be amazing to cure most illnesses that are rife today. And also wouldn’t it be incredible to be able to travel easily to another planet and meet different alien species? And that doen’t even scratch the surface, given the other advanced technology that would be at our fingertips. 

8. What’s the most impressive thing you know how to do?

The most impressive thing I can do involves geekiness and playing around with computers. It’s sad but true although as I said last week, I plan to step away from IT for a while. 

9. What was the best book or series you’ve read?

I loved the original Bourne trilogy by Robert Ludlum. I also loved the Necroscope saga by Bryan Lumley. And Peter F. Hamilton has written some epic series such as the Night’s Dawn trilogy and the Commonwealth saga. 

10. What state or country do you never want to go back to?

I’ve been to many places that were a bit dodgy but I feel that I would possibly go back to most of them. I will select Russia as the answer to this question because although it is a fascinating country, the fact that it is ruled by a mad, warmongering, dictatorial nutter has put me right off the place. 

I have spent eight weeks of my life in Moscow with work, two of them in summer when the weather was amazing, 35 degrees Celsius and glorious sunshine. The remaining six weeks weren’t as pleasant though because it was the middle of winter than the temperature ranged from -20 degrees Celsius to -10 degrees Celsius. 

It’s such a shame what is happening to that country with mad Vlad at the helm. 

11. Where do you usually go when you have time off?

Regular readers will know that I love travelling and will go anywhere I can depending on finances of course. 

12. What amazing thing did you do that no one was around to see?

I flawlessly played this on the piano on Wednesday and I had headphones on so nobody, not even the cats, heard me:

I tried this morning and sadly a couple of mistakes crept in. I’m getting there though. 

13. What is something you think everyone should do at least once in their lives?

Go to a foreign country that is unlike your own country. For example, if you are British or European don’t stay in Europe or go to the United States, Canada, Australia or New Zealand; they are too similar. Get on a plane and fly to Asia – somewhere like Japan or Vietnam or Thailand

14. What’s something you’ve been meaning to try but just haven’t gotten around to it?

That’s a leading question because now I have time to do it. One thing I am interested in doing is to try to trace my family tree back as far as I can. I had a taste of this during the pandemic when one of the genealogy sites opened up for free for three days to commemorate VE day. It was most interesting, especially as my grandad was a prisoner of war. He was reported missing in action and my grandma thought he was dead. And then when the war was over he just turned up at her front door and apologised for being late. Apparently she fainted.  

15. What is something most people consider a luxury but you don’t think you could live without?

Again it’s back to travelling. To be honest, I, too am restricted because it is expensive but I am quite good at budgeting for such things. I am sure one day I will get sick of actually getting to a foreign land (especially long haul flights) but at the moment I just find it irritating. Whether I will feel the same in twenty years’ time I don’t know – probably. 

Here are my next trips (some definite, some almost certain):

Tomorrow – Skiathos in Greece (one week).

October – University reunion in Budapest, Hungary (four days). 

December – A treat for Mrs PM’s mum – Prague, Czechia (three days). 

January/February – Malaysia and Hong Kong (two and a half weeks).

May – Malta for Mrs PM’s mum’s 80th birthday (five days). 

And have one or two more for next year that are currently in the embryonic stages at the moment. 

At a Loose End ...

 

Welcome to an autumnal South Manchester on the day after I have retired. 

Yes, that’s right; I have finally left the rat race and can now pursue more leisurely activities. 

My only involvement with computers will be for personal use. I aim to step back from writing software to write nonsense posts instead, so look out for more bloggery in future. Whether I return to try my hand at writing code again is something that I haven’t thought about yet. 

For the time being I am bidding a fond “Sayonara” to software, databases and other related activities. I will relate a little bit more about what I did in the coming months, but for now I will answer some silly questions from Sunday Stealing.

1. What takes up too much of your time?

If you had asked me this yesterday, I would have said work. From next week I will have to reevaluate this. I had a few beers with my ex-colleagues last night in my local pub, some of whom are already retired, and I asked them about retirement. The most common answer was that they are so busy that they don’t know how they manage to fit work in at all. 

That’s what I plan to be like. I don’t know how yet but I have enough things to keep me going while I consider new things. Mrs PM is always amazed when the introvert within me takes over because I can always find things to entertain myself on my own. Of course I will be trying to find more sociable pursuits too to satisfy the extrovert within – I’m just not sure what yet. 

2. What do you wish you knew more about?

Lots of things. I would love to know more about the universe for example and I am always fascinated with documentaries about space, the universe etc. I also like weird spooky stuff so I would love to know more about ghosts, aliens etc. I will have more time to investigate such nonsense to find out whether my scepticism is justified.

3. What’s the best way to start the day?

From now on, with a lie in and a lovely cup of tea and a glass of apple juice and orange juice mixed. 

4. What mystery do you wish you knew the answer to?

As I implied in question 2, I would love to know what really happened at Roswell in 1947. I love anything like that. Another example is the Mary Celeste. What did happen to the crew?

And also – what in the name of all that is sane is going on in Donald Trump’s head? Migrants eating cats and dogs in Springfield, Ohio? Perhaps what is a bigger mystery is why on earth would anybody vote for this nutter? AGAIN???

5. What’s your favourite genre of book or movie?

It’s science fiction. I am a geek and a nerd and I love a good space opera novel or a crazy effects-laden sci-fi epic movie. 

6. What’s the farthest you’ve ever been from home?

That would be when I visited Australia, the farthest place being Sydney which is 10,565 miles away from Manchester. 

7. Where is the most interesting place you’ve been?

All the places I’ve been to are interesting in their own way but I would have to say that Japan is the most interesting because it is so different from anywhere else. And some it is just crazy. Here, for example, is the Robot Restaurant. This is a video that I personally took and if you listen carefully you can hear me chuckling in the background. If you can explain to me what is going on, please do. 

It was brilliant and mad but sadly is no longer there, I heard. 

I have to say that most places in Asia are incredible and this is the reason why Mrs PM and I like to visit there.

Here are a couple of other photos from that amazing night at the Robot Restaurant.

8. When was the last time you climbed a tree for fun?

I have never climbed a tree for fun. I have climbed several trees in the past but it was quite a scary experience, especially when you get too high. 

9. What do you consider to be your best find?

I’ve never really found anything interesting. When I was a kid I found a wallet on a bus and it was full of money. I did the right thing and handed it into the bus driver. I hope the bus driver also did the right thing. 

Of course, I also found Mrs PM so that counts as the best find I would say.

10. What’s special about the place where you grew up?

I grew up in a town called Walsall which is 15 miles away from Birmingham, the second biggest city in the UK. It is 85 miles south of Manchester. 

It is a large market town and the borough has a population of about 250,000 people. Apparently it dates back to at least the year 1000. 

It is the leather capital of the UK and is the world capital of saddle making, which is why the nickname of the football team is “The Saddlers”.  Talking of which, I still support the football team from the town. 

Here are some pictures:

11. What age do you wish you could permanently be?

I guess that would be between 30 and 35 but with my current 61 year old brain. 

12. What fictional place would you most like to go?

I think I’d quite like to go to Jurassic World well before it all turned to utter chaos of course). 

Also I like the Shire in Middle Earth because it reminds me a small tightly-knit country village. 

I’d also be happy visiting the planet Risa from Star Trek because it is known as “the Pleasure Planet”.

13. Where is the most relaxing place you’ve ever been?

There are several candidates. I’ll go for these off the top of my head. 

Phuket in Thailand, Marbella in Spain, Hoi An in Vietnam, Santorini in Greece

14. What’s the most interesting piece of art you’ve seen?

I am not really a fan of art, especially contemporary art, most of which is as mad as it is controversial. I mean who wants to see something that looks like it was painted by a toddler portrayed as if it is “art”? 

Personally I prefer the classic paintings by artists that could reproduce a scene beautifully. The most famous I have seen in probably the Nightwatch by Rembrandt in the Rijksmuseum in Amsterdam.

15. Who has impressed you the most with what they have accomplished?

I’m quite impressed with the achievements technical gurus like Elon Musk (despite the fact that he is as mad as a bag of badgers). I am also envious of musicians who have produced truly magnificent music over and over again, for example David Bowie. Some authors have created absolute masterpieces, people like Stephen King. I also admire Tom Cruise as an actor who dedicates himself to his movies so much that he is still producing great movies while performing crazy stunts at the age of 62. He’s just a few months older than I am and I can’t imagine myself doing what he does. Let’s forget Scientology though – that is a massive blemish on him. 

Quirks

Welcome to a warm and sunny South Manchester where the temperature is a very pleasant 26 degrees Celsius (79 Fahrenheit). We’re going to Chester tomorrow to meet some friends for a barbecue and I think it will be just as pleasant (fingers crossed).

I’ve been a little busy recently with a trip to Nice for Mrs PM’s birthday and also a gig or two so I haven’t had much time for bloggery. 

I’ll put that right now with some silly questions from Sunday Stealing.

1. What shows are you into?

Right now we have a couple of TV shows on the go. 

I have just finished watching "Snowpiercer", which is about a train with over 1000 carriages hurtling across a frozen post-apocalyptic landscape full of the last survivors of humanity. I really enjoyed it.

I am also watching "Stargate SG-1", a show that I have never seen. I tried to watch it back when it came out but TV scheduling at the time meant it was all over the place. It’s a little dated now but enjoyable all the same. 

Mrs PM and I are watching the new version of "Quantum Leap". It’s been cancelled, I know, and I can see why, but we are sticking with it.

We are also watching "Vikings Valhalla", which is the follow up to the brilliant "Vikings". I love a bit of Viking history. 

We’ve also tried out the new series of "Frasier", which bizarrely stars Nicholas Lyndhurst, a well established British comedy actor. The show is just as entertaining as the original series and I like the fact that Nicholas Lyndhurst is playing an eccentric British Harvard professor. I imagine many in America have not heard of him but he was in one of the most famous British sitcoms of all time, called Only Fools and Horses, where he played the younger brother of a dodgy old cockney market dealer who is always walking the line between legality and illegality. 

Here is a clip.

2. What’s your claim to fame?

We have a National Lottery in the UK where you can win several million pounds. We also used to have a football prediction competition called the Football Pools where you could also win a couple of million pounds.

My claim to fame is that I won both of them in the same week.

Sadly, I only won £10 on the lottery and £8 on the Football pools.

3. How often do you play sports?

I used to play sports a lot but as I have got older I have gradually whittled it down to nothing. As a kid, I played rugby, cricket, hockey, badminton, squash, softball, basketball and lots of athletics disciplines. At university I played football, badminton and squash but when I started work, I only continued with football. I finally gave that up when I was about 38 years old and started going to the gym instead. I got bored with the gym at about 42 and gave that up too. I had three years of doing no exercise before I decided to start walking to keep fit and I have been doing that ever since. Now, I walk about 4 miles almost every day.

4. Are you early or late?

I am definitely early. I hate being late and it has caused some friction in the past between Mrs PM and I because she doesn’t mind being late. Now we have compromised and we usually arrive early still, after I persuaded her that it is always better to be early. She moans occasionally though. 

5. What quirks do you have?

I have lots of odd quirks and I am not sure I should tell you what they are to be honest. I am a geek, a nerd and an all-round weirdo so that is quirky in its own way,

Okay – here are a few that you might find odd.

I call out things I don’t understand with the phrase “What’s the point?”. For example, when I see somebody on an electric bike I say “What’s the point of that? Surely you have a bike to keep fit but he is just coasting along and doing nothing.”

I correct Americanisms in American TV programmes. When somebody says “Do the math!”, I say out loudly “It’s MATHS!” even if I am alone. Similarly I will say “It’s ALUMINIUM not ALUMINUM!”. I Particularly I get riled when the actor is British and playing the part of a British person.

I correct the American spellings in Sunday Stealing. For example “favorite” becomes “favourite” and “color” becomes “colour”.

I won’t divulge the weirder ones (even though you may think the above are weird). Well, maybe in future if you ask me nicely. 

6. How often do you people watch?

Not often enough. I love people-watching and have seen and heard some great things just sitting there drinking a decaf coffee in a coffee shop or just walking around. I may have more time for this when I retire (which is very soon). 

7. What’s your favourite drink?

My favourite beverage is decaffeinated tea. I have been known to drink caffeinated tea occasionally (or “full fat tea”) but it is rare.

My favourite soft drink is Sprite. I don’t drink it very often but if I do I will choose Sprite.

My favourite ale is Timothy Taylor’s Landlord. A lovely pint of bitter.

8. What do you hope never changes?

The world is a totally mad place at the moment, including my own country. I need some sanity to counteract the lunacy that is prevailing and that sanity comes with simple things that keep me going during the chaos. 

So I hope that the things that keep me sane don’t ever change.

9. What’s your dream car?

I’m not really a car person at all. I know loads of people (almost all men) who are forever discussing their favourite cars. All I want is a reliable car that gets me from A to B when I need it to.

10.  Where would you rather be from?

I’m quite happy being an Englishman, thank you, although Brexit has challenged that recently, making me think that it would be nice to be from the European Union somewhere; perhaps the Republic of Ireland.

11. What songs have you completely memorised?

I’ve memorised thousands of them over the years. Here’s a song that was a challenge, but I have impressed Mrs PM by singing along to it on a balcony in Spain when on holiday (the full version that is):

12. What would you rate 10/10

I have lots of albums that I rate 10/10. One of them is “Hand. Cannot. Erase.” By Steven Wilson.

Here is my favourite song on the album. Strap in – it’s 13 minutes long.

13. What job would you be terrible at?

Anything that requires manual dexterity. I can do some DIY but there are certain things that I am totally useless at. For example, carpentry, anything to do with cars, building work, plastering or indeed anything that involves constructing or reconstructing things. 

14. What skill would you like to master?

At the moment I would love to master the skill of speaking Spanish and French and playing the piano. 

15. What movie title best describes your life?

Probably “The Good, The Bad and the Ugly” but I think that sounds too negative because really “The Good” is far superior to “The Bad” and “The Ugly” combined.

At this precise moment in time (and ignoring the past) it would be “Life is Beautiful”.

Mix and Match

Welcome to a sunny and cloudy South Manchester where the sky is covered in white and light grey cloud. I have seen the sun today and I think I might see it later.

The football season starts today (YIPPEE!) and I will be wathcing my team, Walsall, later hoping that they win their first game.

In the meantime, shall we answer some silly questions from Sunday Stealing? 

1. I am looking forward to ...

I am looking forward to Friday next week when we travel to Nice for four nights, primarily to celebrate Mrs PMs birthday. I have been brushing up on my French and, while it’s not as good as my Spanish, I should be okay. If I’m not, I will rely on Mrs PM who can speak French really well, having lived in Toulouse for a year while at university. 

Last time we went to Nice, it was Bastille Day back in 2016 when something dreadful happened, which you can read about here.

Nice is beautiful so such events haven’t put us off the place and I am looking forward to revisiting the city immensely.

2. Least favourite words

There are certain word that get on my nerves when used badly, especially in business-speak. Here are some examples:

Journey – this word is inoffensive but has been shanghaied into something else. I blame Simon Cowell and his bloody terrible show “Britain’s Got Talent” where the failed contestants embark upon a “difficult journey” or have had a “terrible journey to get to this point in their lives”. Now, it has been used and abused in the world of business. For example “We hope you all join us on our journey to a new way of working”. 

Like – this word has been grabbed and hung out to dry by the youth of today. It’s now used totally out of context as a pause word. For example “Last week, like, I was, like, going out with Sharron and, like, she bumped into Dave, her ex-boyfriend and he was, like, giving her the evil eye, like and I said, like, you know, like, just forget him, like …” and on and on it goes.

There are some nasty words that I just don’t like; words like:

Maggot, Mucous, Phlegm, Bile, Ingest, Bloat …

I could go on.

3. If I ruled the world

I have to rein myself in here, dear reader, because there is so much wrong with the world. I do have a plan, should I become World President to rid the world of everyone who aims to destroy it, be unpleasant, or basically people who I simply don’t like. 

My plan is to build a fleet of spaceships and send all of these people out there to explore our galaxy looking for a new planet to colonise. Actually, preferably a different galaxy and, let’s face it, it’s a one way trip.

Here are some candidates for a space flight:

Piers Morgan, Nigel Farage, Boris Johnson, Suella Braverman, Priti Patel, Donald Trump, Simon Cowell, Jamie Oliver, James Corden, Kanye West, all of the Kardashians, David Miscavige, Tucker Carlson, David Cameron, Valdimir Putin, Kim Jong-un, Jim Davidson, Katie Hopkins, Jacob Rees-Mogg, Elon Musk …

And that is just the tip of a very, very large iceberg.

4. Favourite websites and blogs

I love all of the blogs I read. I have a few favourite websites that I go back to a lot, such as the BBC web site and a few websites that cover football and music. 

5. Things I do for myself

Everything that I can do. For example, I don’t examine my own teeth – I let the dentist do that for me because I am unqualified and would do a very poor job. Similarly when I go to Nice next week, I will allow the pilot of the aircraft to fly me there because I cannot fly one myself. 

6. Weekly rituals

Work is a weekly ritual (for a few weeks more). I have a list of daily duties such as writing, learning Spanish, trying to play a piano and walking. There are a few things that are weekly duties such as household chores, writing this blog (though I will increase the frequency from late September). Nothing particular leaps to mind apart from that, but there are definitely things that I do weekly.

7. DIYs I want to try

I can do some DIY but I am not very good. For example, I’m not bad at building furniture from IKEA, doing some electrical work such as light fittings. I can paint and put up shelves etc. The thing is I hate DIY really because while I can do it, it does frustrate me and I’m at the point in my life where I am definitely not going to try to expand my DIY horizons into such realms as building, plumbing etc. 

8. On my shopping list

I have just bought a few new T-shirts, shorts etc for my trip to Nice and also the one to Skiathos in September. There are a few gadgets I might look at but nothing is pressing. 

9. Places to see in your town

Manchester is a great place to visit. The city has loads of museums, restaurants, pubs and bars as well as other places of interest, such as sports stadia like Old Trafford football ground (home to Manchester United), the Etihad Stadium (home to Manchester City) and Old Trafford cricket ground. We have loads of music venues of varying sizes including a brand new one called Co-op Live which is the largest indoor arena in Europe. Alongside this, we have the AO Arena which is also huge, plus smaller venues like the Manchester Apollo Theater, Manchester Academy plus its three smaller venues. There are a few theatres too where you can see plays, musicals, opera, ballet etc. We have a couple of comedy clubs too. There are lots of different areas to explore, each unique in their own way plus some of the surrounding towns are interesting too. 

It's a great place.

10. Road trip must-haves

I don’t really like road trips, I have to say. I find them a little dull. If I were to do a massive road trip across Europe, Australia or the US, I would want a lot (and I mean A LOT) of decent music to listen to and interesting people with me to keep me from being bored out of my mind. 

11. Guilty pleasures

I don’t believe in the term guilty pleasure. 

But while I was walking this morning, a couple of songs appeared in my playlist that people would be surprised to know that I like because they are not what they would expect me to like, given my preference for progressive rock, heavy metal and hard rock. Here they are:

I don’t care what people say; I love those songs and many more besides them.

12. Things I'd rather be doing right now

Walking around a foreign city. And this time next week I will be doing just that.

13. Books I'd like to read this year

I have a load of books on my Kindle that I aim to finish this year. Some are sci-fi, others are slightly supernatural and I think there’s a thriller in there somewhere. I will have more time to do just that when I retire. 

14. Lessons learned

Never argue with a policeman unless he or she is a family member.

Never catch a ferry from the UK to Holland if you have a hangover. 

Never try to conquer your fear of heights by climbing up the tallest building in the world. 

Never eat a raw chilli pepper.

Never sit next to a person on a flight who is scared of flying.

15. Vacations to take

As I said, I am going to Nice next week. After that I am going to Skiathos in Greece for a week in September. And then I am meeting my old university buddies in Budapest, Hungary in October. We are also hopefully going to Malaysia in January, calling in to Hong Kong on the way back. Oh and we're going to Malta next May with Mrs PM's mum and uncle to celbrate her 80th birthday.

16. Olympic events I like to watch or follow

I don’t usually watch the wall to wall coverage of the Olympics but I sometimes dip in and out of it. I usually watch the athletics but I also like the cycling events too. It depends and I have seen some of this year’s games in Paris when I’ve had an hour to kill. 

Still in the Summertime

 

Welcome to a warm South Manchester where, in the last week, summer has graced us with its presence. It’s been warm and sunny and lovely and hopefully it will carry on through this weekend. 

I’ve just been to see Deadpool and Wolverine, which I found funny and highly entertaining. I would recommend it.

Shall we dive into some questions from Sunday Stealing? 

1. How would your pet describe you

My two pets would describe me as a hot water bottle, a serf, a slave, a bodyguard and an unreliable oaf. 

I know my place.

2. Tell us a story..

Okay – here’s a story I told on this very blog waaaayyyy back in 2009. It happened to a friend of mine from university even further back in time – in 1984. Brace yourself.

The story illustrates a common mistake that anybody could make (or so my mate said – I’m not sure that I believe him). Picture the scene. At university a group of us were in a night club trying to look cool at the edge of the dance floor and make eye contact with the females in the place. I was failing miserably and horribly (as usual).

Of course, several beers had been consumed and we were all slightly tipsy. My friend, let’s call him Wally, was struck by an irresistible urge to answer the call of Mother Nature. Unfortunately for him, this would not be a quick call. In retrospect I was aware that this might have been the case because the look on his face had become more and more desperate as he had tried to hang on. I mean did he honestly think that it would “go away”?

Ultimately Mother Nature was very insistent and told him in no uncertain terms that he had a choice. Either he find a toilet NOW or she would not be responsible for the consequences; he chose wisely and quite literally sprinted to the toilet.

“Gents” toilets in nightclubs the world over are worse than the third level of hell and this particular toilet was no exception. This is possibly the reason why Wally had hung on for so long. Knowing that he required a cubicle rather than a urinal, Wally raced into the “Gents” and burst straight into the nearest cubicle. Unfortunately, it was occupied – by a woman!

She screamed.

Wally screamed

In extreme panic, and as if it would make a difference, he mumbled an apology and fled. Such was his embarrassment and distress that he was out of there in a flash and into the other toilet, safely ensconced in a cubicle before the worst happened. As he sat down, his embarrassment at having entered that “Ladies” by mistake was momentarily subdued by his relief. It took a while before his alcohol soaked brain registered the fact that he had made a colossal error and seen a girl perched on the throne.

As he sat there waiting for nature to take its course, he considered what had happened and decided that perhaps he had got away with it. After all, in his mind, he had left the poor woman so quickly that she had almost certainly not seen him properly. Perhaps it was his confused alcohol-addled brain that convinced him he was fine.

But it wasn’t fine at all.

The toilet door burst open and in ran a hysterical female hotly pursued by her friend.

“Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God!” she said.

“What’s the matter?” said her friend said.

“I’ve just done something terrible. I’ve just wandered into the “Gents” by mistake. There I was, sitting on the loo when this bloke burst in and caught me with my pants down. I screamed!”

“How did you manage to go to the wrong loo?” said her concerned friend.

“I was in a hurry …”

The conversation continued.

Wally’s world collapsed around him. He had not made the initial mistake; the girl had. The original toilet was indeed the “Gents” and he was now perched on a throne in a cubicle in the “Ladies” toilets.

To make matters worse, just about every other woman in the night club chose that precise moment to go to the toilet. Girl after girl poured in; some tried the cubicle door (which thankfully was locked); others chatted about guys in the club; still more reapplied their make-up. Wally was deafened by the chatter but his brain filtered out all of that; all he heard were the words of the girl he had upset as they boomed into his head.

“I feel awful,” the unfortunate woman continued. “I can’t go back out there: I might bump into him. I’m going home.”

“You can’t go home,” her friend said. “He won’t even remember you – that’s if he’s still in here.”

And so it went on …

… and on …

… and on …

… and on …

Wally by this time had long finished his business and sat there waiting for the girls to depart, hoping that the Earth would split open and swallow him up. Sadly, the girls remained, discussing her trauma for what seemed like an eternity. To make matters worse, he had been on the throne for so long that his legs were becoming numb. He had been sitting there for ages, his elbows resting on his knee and his face cradled in his hands, shaking his head in despair.

Desperate times called for desperate measures; Wally had to act.

“I’m so embarrassed,” continued the girl. “I can’t think of anything worse.”

Wally bit the bullet. He opened the door and walked out of the cubicle at that precise moment.

“I know exactly how you feel,” he said to the girl as he casually walked out.

3. What do you pack in your beach / hiking bag

In my beach bag, I usually take a towel, a hat, my Kindle, my wallet, my phone, sun tan cream and my earbuds. 

4. How do you like to spend great weather weekends

We usually try to get outside. I love a good walk or even just to sit in the garden with a book. We also pop to the pub for a beer or two in the beer garden. Such weather isn't that common in the UK so we make the most of it when we can. 

5. Describe a time when the circumstances fell in your favour

The time when we bought our house was quite lucky really. In the UK, house prices were rising quite quickly so we bit the bullet and put an offer in on the house we now own. Sadly, we had problems with people pulling out of buying our previous place and this meant that we had delays. In the meantime the price of the house was going up and up. The then owners, thankfully, decided to have patience with us and also they didn’t raise the price so we got it at the price we offered. We were very lucky.

6. Which summer sounds do you enjoy

General outdoors sounds. At 6:30 in the morning when I stroll around, there are few cars and people and I can listen to the sound of the birds singing, especially if I go for a walk down by the river, which is lovely at this time of year. 

7. It’s not really summer until ..

I wear my shorts.

8. What music are you listening to these days

I’ve been listening to a few really good songs that I have discovered and rediscovered in the past few months. Like these:

9. How much has changed since last summer

Not an awful lot to be honest. I am a lot closer to retirement, which happens at the end of this summer. The weather in July was slightly better this year. 

10. What are your favourite things to wear in summer

It depends on the weather. If it’s warm like it is today, I like to wear a T-shirt and shorts. 

11. What do you miss about winter

Nothing. I hate winter. Actually, that’s not true. I like Christmas and New Year and it’s good sitting in a cosy lounge with Mrs PM and the cats. But I hate the short days, the cold and the terrible weather. 

12. How would you spend summer vacation as an adult

Travelling. If I had a bottomless pit of money and no responsibility I would be away. 

13. Describe your ideal get together/party

I’m not that fond of parties to be honest. I prefer smaller gatherings with fewer people. I will always go to a massive party if invited but if I am the one organising such an event it will be a much smaller and cosier event with close friends. 

14. What makes you feel like part of your community

Good neighbours and a decent place locally where you can hang out and get what you need. I live in a leafy suburb in South Manchester with great transport to get us to the city if we want to. The truth is that we tend to stay locally because there are good restaurants, shops, parks and pubs. It’s nice where I live. 

15. How was your July 2024?

The weather was a bit dodgy until the last week, resulting in a cricket match I was going to being abandoned but the last week of the month was very pleasant and it looks like, for now at least, it is continuing into August. I did manage to get to Old Trafford a couple of times before the month was over. Sadly there were no holidays in July but there will be one in a couple of weeks and another in September and October. July is usually a good month as long as the weather makes it good. 

InThe Summertime Again

Welcome to South Manchester on a sunny summer’s day. The weather seems to be improving now – let’s hope it stays that way.

Shall we answer some silly Sunday Stealing questions? 

1. What are your plans for August

I have quite a busy August. First I will be doing a “Real Ale trail” with a couple of mates. This involves catching a fast train directly to Huddersfield, a town that is just over the Pennines in Yorkshire, before catching a slower return train that stops at a couple of the stations back to Manchester where we will stop off in a local pub and have a pint before catching the next one. Some of the places are scenic little villages surrounded by hills and lovely countryside. It will be fun.

We’re also going to Nice in France for four days around Mrs PM’s birthday to just take in the beauty of the French Riviera and relax by the sea. We are staying in the old town and will almost certainly venture out of the city, perhaps to Cannes or Monte Carlo on the small state of Monaco. 

I will be going to a cricket match too, a test match between England and Sri Lanka, as well as seeing the band New Order. 

Finally I am going to a tribute band festival in Prestwich, North Manchester, where I will see tributes to bands like Rush, Ghost, Metallica, AC/DC and Metallica.

2. Your mid-year resolutions or goals

They are pretty much the same as they were back in January and still on track. My goals are linked to my resolutions and the big one this year was retirement, which is happening in about a month and a half. I need to start considering what I will aim to achieve in 2025 soon; I might just wait until I actually retire before doing that. 

3. Are you good at taking care of plants

I would say I’m average. I have inadvertently killed a couple over the years but others have thrived. 

4. What makes you feel nourished

Food. How else can I answer that?

5. Which animals do you see most in your area

There are quite a few dogs and cats but there are also loads of different types of birds and I also see the occasional urban fox and lots of grey squirrels. 

6. Books on your summer reading list

I have a couple of Dean Koontz novels waiting to be read as well as a couple of sci-fi thrillers. I will get through a couple when I go to Nice that’s for sure. 

7. Projects you want to tackle this summer

Nothing in particular leaps to mind. I had a massive reorganisation earlier in the year and I think that’s enough. I like to relax in the summertime. 

8. Do you have weddings, graduations, summer celebrations

Nothing coming up this year, although I did go to a friend’s wedding last month. My eldest son is getting married in just over a year’s time.

9. Which summer snacks are you excited to enjoy again

I eat pretty much the same all year round, but in the summer perhaps I will have some ice cream as a treat. 

10. How much time do you like to take for vacations

As much as life allows me. Sadly there are constraints that limit my time, like work (although that constraint will be lifted when I retire). Money is also an issue of course but I will be happy to spend as much as I can on such things. Mrs PM will be another constraint (and I mean that in a nice way) because she is younger than me and has no plans to retire for at least another five or six years. Cats are also a constraint because I can’t just leave them for ages. Such constraints are a good thing though really because if I didn’t have them I would bever be in the UK – and I love it here. England is my home and I always look forward to coming back. Moreover it makes holidays that much more special when you actually take them. 

11. Where are your favourite picnic locations

I don’t really do picnics but if I were to have one I would choose, a beach or a lakeside or riverside in the country.

12. Something that would be out of character for you

Being nasty. I don’t bear grudges and I don’t like people who are nasty generally. I have lost my temper once or twice but I try not to do so. Even if somebody is nasty to me, I find it hard to retaliate because such things can escalate and people end up saying and doing things they regret. I am more likely to walk away and avoid such people. 

13. Which summer movies are you excited to see

I am planning to see Deadpool and Wolverine next week. I enjoy the Deadpool movies because they are funny and violent and this one promises to be the best of all of them. 

14. Your favourite free / cost effective ways to have fun

Manchester is a great place to have free fun. I can easily get to the city centre if I want to see a museum or two and I am close enough to the countryside to be able to go for a lovely walk, if I choose. 

15. Who do you trust most to house & pet sit

We have a Russian cat-sitter who doubles as a house sitter. We’ve known her for about three years and she loves the cats. When we are away, she comes in twice a day and feeds the cats but also stays with them for a while to keep them company, as well as making sure that the house is safe. She has lived in the UK for many years but she still has a Russian accent and to hear her talking to the cats is very funny, especially when she sometimes slips back into Russian. She films them on her phone and sends the videos via WhatsApp so that we can see them while we are away, which puts Mrs PM’s mind to rest. It works really well for us. She is a cat lover of course and she has a beautiful cat of her own.