Saturday, 23 January 2010
Regular readers will know that I can be a grumpy old so and so. However, I do try to be positive about life and see the best in everything. Yet sometimes there are times when I simply love to dive into negativity and let rip. It is good for the soul.
This week’s Sunday Stealing Meme is the “Negativity Meme” and I want to take the opportunity to have a good grump.
I apologise in advance for the negativity but, as I said, it can be therapeutic.
Feel free to have a go here.
Foods which disgust the crap out of me:
Surprisingly there aren’t many. I am adventurous when it comes to food. However, there are foodstuffs that make me feel physically ill.
Top of the pile is rhubarb. This foodstuff, in my opinion, is not meant to be eaten. It should be buried alive.
Other things that turn my stomach are:
Apricots, prunes, damsons, parsnips, liver, Angel Delight, lemon grass, celery, figs, dates, caviar (don’t be fooled – it tastes like crap).
TV show I loathe:
Where to begin:
Soap operas, most reality TV shows, anything created by Simon Cowell, totally unfunny situation comedies, any shows involving psychics, Saturday night light entertainment, daytime talk shows, any confrontational shows like the Jeremy Kyle show, anything involving a stupid studio audience.
Movie I loathe:
I particularly hate movies that are overrated and lead me to see them out of curiosity only to discover that they are in fact dreadful. “Dead Poet’s Society” is a prime example of this.
I am sick to death of endless romantic comedy after endless romantic comedy.
“Legally Blonde” is possibly the worst movie I have seen and it was a long time before I dared watch anything with Reese Witherspoon in it again.
I hate those “High School Musical” type movies and anything that is a “period drama” that travels along at the pace of a snail with no point to it whatsoever.
I love a good horror film but those gory plot-less slash movies bore me senseless.
A special mention has to go to “Independence Day”. I love science fiction but this film is dreadful. It has so many plot holes that I am amazed you can actually find a plot at all. And it is full of the kind of American patriotism that drives me insane with rage – the mere name alone irks me. And what of the British in this cowpat of a film? After the Americans come up with a plot to “save the world”, the scene switches to the desert where two British officers are told the plan. In their greatest plum-mouthed British accent they say something like “Oh I say. It’s about time those Yanks came up with a plan.”
And what’s the plan? To infect an alien space ship with a HUMAN COMPUTER VIRUS!!
I could go on about it all day. It is dreadful, absolutely dreadful!
Music genres I loathe:
R’n’B, Hip Hop (particularly the kind where rappers like 50 Cent basically say how rich, macho and wonderful they are), any crap supported by Louis Walsh or Simon Cowell, opera, easy listening and modern jazz (where a group of, say, four talented musicians play four completely different songs at the same time), country and western music and that happy clappy modern religious nonsense.
Magazine which annoys me:
Celebrity magazines like “Hello!” and “OK” where these people pay humungous sums of money to already rich celebrities (most of whom are talentless and do absolutely nothing) so that people can see their bloody weddings, houses and bling.
In fact any “celebrity” promoting magazines should be stopped – immediately.
Makes me cranky at restaurant:
Bad food, cold food, pretentious food, not enough food, overpriced food.
Waiters that are rude, waiters that cannot be summoned even if you go and grab them.
Makes me cranky in public:
The constant bad weather in England in the winter makes me as cranky as hell. When it rains, and it is grey and miserable, my mood degenerates and I slump from A to B like I have the world on my shoulders.
Also, loud, obnoxious egotistical arses who shout about the place bring the worst out in me.
Makes me cranky in general:
The news is a good source of crankiness as is work. Bad drivers make me want to blow up cars.
Loud drunks who invade my space and gob in my face when talking to me.
Pisses me off at home:
Cold callers who want to sell me something on the phone.
Charity workers who call at my house at least once a month telling me that I am a selfish buffoon for not choosing their charity above others.
Also, people who try to sell me things at my door.
Running out of things pushes all sorts of cranky buttons as does day old washing up.
The cats are fine – except when they steal food and scratch the furniture.
Pisses me off at work:
I can’t say because people from work read this blog. But they know what pisses me off.
Pisses me off in general:
The fact that I HAVE to work.
Makes me impatient at home:
Cooking. I want to cook in two minutes but it always takes bloody ages.
Makes me impatient at work:
Makes me impatient in public:
Waiting in a queue when at the front of the queue is the most stupid person in the world. For example, when waiting to buy a ticket at a train station, I expect to buy a ticket whereas some idiots say things like “When is the next train to London?” It’s the bloody ticket queue not information!!!
Driving in congestion makes me extremely impatient and I become a new more monstrous version of myself screaming at anybody who hinders my journey in any way whatsoever.
Celebrity I hate:
So many – but mainly those who are famous for nothing. Here are a few:
Jordan, Simon Cowell, Jeremy Kyle, Piers Morgan, Kilroy-Silk, Louis Walsh, Paris Hilton, Vanessa Feltz, Noel Edmonds, Chris Moyles, Danny Baker, Pete Doherty, Naomi Campbell, Britney Spears, Sir Cliff Richard, Mariah Carey, Victoria Beckham, Diego Maradona, Gary Neville
That should do for now.
Music artist I hate:
Kanye West – not only for his music but for his arrogance.
50 Cent makes me feel violent.
I could care less about:
Global warming because the evidence presented to us makes us believe that the world is about to end – and that it is our fault when there is evidence to the contrary that never gets broadcast.
Politics annoys me to death and if I could do I would remove all politicians because they are lying, insincere crooks.
Annoys the crap out of me weekdays:
Annoys the crap out of me weekends:
Being on call.
Blogger's habit that annoys you:
I read a lot of blogs written by people who share every detail of a night out including pictures of their food – all three courses ordered by all members of their entourage.
Marekting blogs that claim to make me a better blogger while at the same time offering to make me rich beyond my wildest dreams.
People who write in text speak, like “Had a gud nite wiv mates. Here’s Doppy actin mad xxxxx”
People who take photos and them splatter their blog name right across the centre of the photograph.
Feature on your blog you hate:
Movie star you despise:
I don’t hate any personally but I will say Matthew McConaughy because every single film I have ever seen him in has been dreadful.
Politician that you hate:
That's easy - Maggie Thatcher.